Prologue

'So waaaake up the members of my nation, it's your time to be, there's no chance unless you taaaake one-'

"Hello?"

"Carly?"

"Hey Gibby."

"What's going on?"

"Oh nothing. Just studying in my room. Wishing you were here."

"We'll see each other at school tomorrow."

"Aww. You know me. I can never have enough Gibby."

"True dat."

"Aww. You know I love it when you don't pronounce your 'th's' properly."

"You just said 'aww' twice in a row."

"Aww."

"Seriously. It's getting kind of annoying."

"Sorry. Anyway, what were you calling me for? Not that I'd mind if you called for no reason. Girls love that kind of stuff."

"Actually, it's something kind of important."

"Well what is it? You sound all serious."

"Carly…jeez, I really don't want to have to say this, but…"

"…Oh my God."

"Please try to understand…I wanted to avoid this, but I have no choice."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"…Huh?"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"Wh – no, Carly what are you–"

"I can't believe, you're breaking up with me!"

"Whoa, Carly, step off the gas for a minute."

"Oh a car analogy. How appropriate! I'm a car to you aren't I? I'm just a leased vehicle!"

"Carly!"

"Yeah! Car-ly! Guys like you think they can treat girls like automobiles. You lease us for a year or two, and then when you get tired of us, you go get another one!"

"Can I just say something?"

"Ugh! I can't believe you're breaking up with me!"

"Wh – are you going down steps?"

"Yeah! Guess where I'm going?"

"…doooownstairs?"

"To the freezer! There's a jumbo sized container of Drake and Josh's ice-cream, and I'm gonna get the biggest spoon I can find and eat every single bite of it!"

"Drake and Josh's? That's like, more calories than ten Inside-Out burgers!"

"And don't you think about hanging up on me! I want you to listen while I eat it. I want you to think about what you've done while I stuff every scoop down my throat!"

"Give me three seconds. Just three seconds."

"God, I am so mad at you right now! I could just…I could just kick Spencer in the knee!"

"Carly, just – wh – what was that? Did you just kick Spencer?"

"Quiet Gibby! I've got the big spoon now, and I want you to pay attention! You're going to hear this whether you like it or not!"

"No, Carly, no! That ice-cream is very bad for you!"

"Mmmm. Gah. Dush dish meg 'oo habby Gibby?"

"I can't even understand you!"

"Ug. I go eat it awwwwww night Gibby. Awwwwwww night. And I go get thooooo fat!"

"Carly!"

"Thooooooo fat!"

"CARLY I'M NOT BREAKING UP WITH YOU!"

"… … … … …wiwwy?"

"Yeah. Really."

Gulp. "Oh. I see…"

"Carly? Are you there? Carly?"

"THEN WHY DID SET ME UP LIKE THAT? God, I am so mad at you!"

"…"

"When I see you at school tomorrow morning, we are having one serious talk about appropriate telephone conversations, and why–"

"LIIISTEEEEEEN!"

"…okay. You've got my attention."

"I was just going to ask you if you wanted to come to my family reunion next weekend."

"Oh. Well, okay."

"I didn't tell you the time or place."

"It doesn't matter. It sounds important. I'll make time."

"I really rather you didn't."

"How come?"

"Cause I don't want you to go."

"Why not?"

"Cause…Look. Whenever I have a steady girlfriend, my family always wants to meet her."

"So?"

"My family is nuts! You think I'm weird? You should meet my Uncle Gibson!"

"Gibby, you are weird. That's what I like about you."

"No you don't understand. Every girlfriend I've ever taken to a family-get-together has broken up with me before it even ended."

"Well how many girlfriends have you taken?"

"I…rather not say."

"Gibby!"

"I've taken a lot, okay! The point is I don't want to do it. But if I don't take you, they're going to keep bugging me about it until I pop like Freddie's zit!"

"The one he had in math class?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh my God, it was so big!"

"You're not helping!"

"Okay, okay. So, what do you want me to do?"

"We can pretend you're sick."

"But won't they just wait until I get better and start pestering you again?"

"You're right. Think, think, think…I got it!"

"What?"

"I'll say you have leprosy."

"Gibby!"

"I can't think of anything else!"

"Look, maybe I should just go. How bad could it be?"

"You have no idea."

"That settles it Gibby, I'm going."

"Car-ly."

"I don't care how weird they are, or what they eat or wear or…do. I'm going."

"Carly please. Let's think about this."

"I did all the thinking that was necessary. I'm going to that reunion, and you will rue the day if you try and stop me."

"Ugh. All right, fine. It's next Sunday at four o'clock. I'll pick you up."

"Relax Gibby. We've been going out for sixth months, and I've been living with Spencer for years. I've got weirdness experience."

"Yeah, I know, I know. Who knows, maybe you'll pull it off."

"Darn tootin'."

"Heheh…hmph, you know, it's kind of funny."

"What is?"

"Out of the two of us, I have to say, you're probably the weird one."

"That is funny."

"I know, right? Who'd a thunk?"

"Gibby?"

"Yeah?"

"Never call me the weird one."

Carly was in her room, changing into her pajamas and getting ready for bed. It had been an exhausting evening to say the least. Going bonkers on your boyfriend like that tended to take its toll on you. Plus, Carly had swallowed two scoops of Drake and Josh's before Gibby could stop her, and that was about the equivalent of eating one cheeseburger, so she ran an hour on the treadmill to burn it off. Finally, it took another hour to coax Spencer into coming out of the closet, where he was hiding from his unpredictably vicious sister.

"What a night," Carly said to herself. "Still, it'll be kind of cool to meet Gibby's family. I hope they like me." Carly's gaze shifted to the wall behind her bed. She lowered her voice to a seductive tone. "I know you do."

On said wall was a giant poster of a smiling, shirtless Gibby. Carly ordered it shortly after they started going out.

"Oh, were you watching?" Carly covered her chest, pretending she were indecent. "Now, now Gibby, you shouldn't stare. It's not gentlemanly."

The enormous depiction of Gibby remained unfazed, its eyes never leaving the playful brunette. After several seconds, Carly began to feel uncomfortable.

"Okay seriously Gibby, stop staring at me."

Disclaimer - I do not own iCarly, it's characters, nor any other shows, characters, music, and/or movies that may be referenced.

AN: You likey?