Who Are You? Who Am I?

Chapter 6: Just Let Me Hold You

A/N: Special thanks to Brave Soul RMS who was the one to give me the secret to bypassing the site glitch. I would have wrote said thanks last chapter but for the fact that I was too excited about the fact that I could actually update to make any major changes to my author's notes. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Don't be afraid to cry. I was listening to the song "Ever the Same" by Rob Thomas for most of the time that I was writing this. If you've ever heard the song then you know that the chapter title also comes from that song.

With all the energy John could muster he charged at the Admiral. The Admiral didn't see John as a threat and so was totally caught off guard when John round house kicked him square in the chest, knocking him to the ground where he lay motionless. John fell to his knees beside the Admiral, panting hard. He searched the pockets of the tyrant and was able to locate his sonic screwdriver.

A few seconds of aiming the device at the computer terminal and he had what he needed. It didn't take him long to disconnect the wires from Rose in the correct order. When she was free he took his last opertunity to kiss her "Goodbye," he said simply, pushing her away in Amy's direction.

"Goodbye…?" Rose asked, tears in her eyes "What do you mean 'Goodbye'?"

"I'm dying Rose and nothing can stop that," John told her as he knelt over the Doctor's paralyzed form "But I can still save the world one last time."

The Doctor looked up at his clone as John pressed his fingertips to the Doctor's temples. The Doctor's eyes widened as his mind flooded with new memories, John's memories. Everything that had happened to him since the moment he came into existence in the TARDIS. The Doctor knew what John was planning. Without a conduit to channel the energy through, the raw energy would rip open the Void. And John was planning to seal it off from the inside.

John pulled away and motioned to Rory "Rory good old Rory, take him and get as far away from here as possible." He turned to Amy "Same to you, make sure you get Rose as far away from this place as you can. Whatever happens," he was speaking to both of them "Don't let go of either of them."

"I'm not leaving," Rose said defiantly.

John's eyes misted over as he approached her "You have to," he told her, his voice breaking. He turned to Amy "Get her out of here, please."

Amy nodded and began to drag a reluctant Rose away. While Rory hoisted the immobile Doctor into a fireman's carry and followed his wife.

Puck was about to follow them when he saw John fall to his knees "My family," the small creature said quickly "I must stay. I feel I will be needed."

"But-" Amy began but Puck cut her off.

"I do this for you my family," Puck told her firmly.

"We'll be back for you," Rory promised as he and Amy headed for the entrance to the warehouse.

John cast one last look towards the retreating group before turning his attention to the growing glow from amongst the machines where Rose had been only moments before. He could feel his body about to give out on him. He'd used too much energy in the last few moments.

A time display on one of the terminals showed that there were less than ten seconds to perigee. John set his jaw. One last chance to be the hero, for the universe, for Rose.

XXX

Amy and Rory stood on the street outside the warehouse. Amy was cradling a sobbing Rose while Rory sas leaning against the wall of the building with the Doctor slumped against him.

Somehow, impossibly, the Doctor, straining against the paralyzing pain in his body, managed to extend his hand to Rose who took it and held on to it as if it were a lifeline. She moved closer to the Doctor and with her other hand brushed the hair out of his face. His eyes were full of pain and her heart broke even more. She wanted to say something but words completely and utterly failed her.

"Rose," the Doctor whispered through the pain that jabbed at him still "I… I am so sorry…" and a tear rolled down his cheek.

"What's that?" Amy questioned, pointing up in the sky. A beam of golden light was coming straight from the Golden Moon right to the warehouse itself.

"It's starting," the Doctor murmured as his grip on Rose's hand increased.

Amy and Rory looked at each other in confusion as Rose and the Doctor's hair both started whipping around in an invisible wind. Yet Amy and Rory were unaffected. Rory found that something was tugging the Doctor away from his side and he tightened his grip as Amy grasped Rose around the waist to keep her from flying away.

XXX

The Admiral had just started to pull himself to his feet when the Void tore open. He grabbed at a nearby pipe that was attached to the wall nearest him. John was bracing himself against a computer terminal. He had to wait for the Admiral to be sucked into the Void first. He couldn't risk this man being able to attempt this plan again in the future.

Puck somehow sensed that the Admiral had to be made to go into the Void so he began jumping at the Time Lord, biting him repeatedly until the Admiral growled, kicking the little beast against the far wall where Puck bounced off and crumpled into a heap. The Admiral laughed bitterly at the little beat. But in his attempts to shake the creature, his grip on the pipe had loosened. He fell screaming into the Void.

John grinned "Thank you little friend," he called to Puck as he let go of the terminal, sonic screwdriver at the ready to seal the Void off once he was sucked in. "Allons-y!" he shouted for the last time as he flew into the tear in reality.

XXX

The unseen wind stopped and Amy and Rory were finally able to release their grips upon the Doctor and Rose. The Doctor slumped to the ground without Rory holding him up and Rose dropped to her knees beside him, cradling him in her arms as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Amy and Rory would have noticed the interaction between the two if it weren't for the beam of golden light having captured their entire attention. The beam shot back towards the Golden Moon and in a matter of moments the moon exploded in a shower of golden light. The explosion lit the sky, making it appear as it were midday.

There were several smaller explosions from the computer terminals inside the warehouse. Amy and Rory locked eyes "Puck," they both said in unison, bolting into the building.

The Doctor's forehead rested against Rose's shoulder "Oh Rose," he whispered. He was overcome with guilt. If he hadn't allowed himself to fall victim so easily to the Admiral then he wouldn't have been paralyzed and John might have survived long enough for the Doctor to be able to treat him properly. There had to have been another way other than John's sacrifice.

"There wasn't another way," she whispered as she ran a hand through his hair and scooted a little closer to him "Does it still hurt?" she asked, concerned.

"Not… if I… don't move," he attempted to chuckle but it ended in a pained moan "It'll… were off… in a few hours."

"He almost killed you," Rose whispered, her words edged with teroor "You could have died right in front of me and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I felt so helpless," she kissed the top of his head "Thank God for Amy."

"Thank God… for John," the Doctor whispered in return "If it weren't for him, we'd all be dead right now…"

"Doctor!" Amy called as she and Rory emerged from the door of the building. Amy was holding a limp form in her arms.

Rose wiped her tears away and took a deep breath, attempting to put her emotions in check as she saw Amy and Rory approaching, distraught looks on their faces. Rose carefully maneuvered so that she was sitting beside the Doctor who, now that she got a good look at his face, appeared pale and drawn.

Amy lay the small creature on the sidewalk before the Doctor "Can you help him?" she asked, her eyes filling with tears.

"Rose," the Doctor murmured "Help me… Put my hand… on his head…" Rose silently did as she was told, tenderly taking the Doctor's hand and laying it atop Puck's head. The Doctor's eyes drifted closed as he concentrated "He's dying," the Doctor said finally, his eyes remaining closed.

"No," Amy whispered as her husband enveloped her in his arms.

Without being asked, Rose removed the Doctor's hand from Puck's head and held it tight. As the population of Maladorius came out onto the streets to look up into the heavens at the remnants of their Golden Moon in shock and surprise, the small group huddled on the sidewalk in front of the warehouse went completely unnoticed.

A purple mist surrounded the lifeless body of the small creature. All eyes save for the Doctor's widened as the mist cleared, revealing a small, pink, stark naked, infant. In the brilliant light cast by the falling pieces of the exploded moon the baby opened his eyes and let out a soft cooing.

"What?" Amy questioned, looking to the Doctor for an explanation.

"Odd little thing the Ossynx," the Doctor attempted to chuckle though pain still coarsed through him and it sounded rather feeble.

"So that's Puck?" Rory questioned as Rose helped the Doctor to lay so that his head was in her lap.

"Yeah," the Doctor told him "Just look at him. Remind you of anyone?"

Rory's gaze turned to the infant. The baby boy was noticeably ginger with a nose that mirrored Rory's.

Amy gaped at the child and then looked to Rory "He looks like us," she breathed.

"He can regenerate?" Rose questioned.

"No," the Doctor corrected "It's more of a reincarnation. Ossynx are incredibly fragile and short lived. Most of their adult life is spent finding a family with which to bond. When they die, and I must admit I wasn't expecting it would happen this soon…" he trailed off for a moment as he caught his breath. He really did hate being this helpless.

Rose ran a hand over his face "Don't try to talk so fast," she advised.

The Doctor took another deep breath before continuing "Anyway, when an Ossynx dies, its DNA changes completely. It becomes the species of the family that it's bonded with," he paused again and managed a smile at Amy and Rory "Ponds, meet your son."

XXX

Several hour later the Doctor opened his eyes to see Rose standing over him. She was pressing a cool cloth to his forehead and watching him carefully. When she saw his eyes opening she smiled that smile of hers that always got to him. And he smiled back.

"Hello," he said, his voice a bit raspy from the hours of disuse.

"How are you feeling?" she asked attentively.

"Exhausted," he replied "Which is unusual for me. But I'm not in any more pain if that's what you're asking."

"I'm glad," Rose reached down and touched his cheek tenderly "You had us worried for a while there."

"The last thing we need is an out of commission pilot when we've got a newborn onboard," Amy replied, her head appearing at the edge of the Doctor's field of vision.

"And how is the little fellow?" the Doctor asked as he attempted to sit up. It was then that he saw the bundle that Amy was cradling against her shoulder.

"He's doing just fine," Amy remarked, kissing the peach fuzz covered head. "He's been awful quitet though. Hasn't tried to talk to me at all since he changed."

"Well he wouldn't," the Doctor told her "He's completely human now. Genetically yours and Rory's child. There's very little left of the Puck you knew before… And where did you find baby clothes in the TARDIS?" he questioned with extreme curiosity.

"You didn't know the wardrobe room has a section tucked away at the back full of baby clothes?" Rose inquired, eyeing him with bemusement.

"I… well… no…" the Doctor suddenly found himself squirming under her gaze. He cleared his throat "Anyway, like I said, it's like what you'd call reincarnation. He might have fleeting memories now and then of his past life as he grows up but there's no way he'll ever remember everything."

"That's a relief," Amy sighed "I was terrified that he was mad at me or something he was being so quiet… at least in my mind."

Rose laughed "I'm surprised he didn't wake you up sooner Doctor. Got a good set of lungs on him that one. Can hear him in Amy and Rory's room all the way from the console room."

The Doctor grinned and stood up. He walked over to Amy and placed a hand on the infant's tiny back "I told you that you chose well little Puck."

"That's not his name anymore," Amy corrected.

"It's not?" the Doctor questioned.

"No," Amy confirmed "Rory and I had a long talk about the trouble he could get into in his teens with a name like that," she pulled a face.

"So what's his name now?" the Doctor asked.

Amy fell silent, her gaze falling on Rose. Rose stepped up beside the Doctor and took his hand "While you were asleep I had a chance to explain to Amy and Rory all about… you know… us and what happened and…" she trailed off, her gaze dropping to the floor for a moment. She steadied herself with a deep breath and continued "They've decided to name him John."

"John Pond-Williams," Rory smiled broadly as he entered the room.

The Doctor was silent for a moment choosing his next words very carefully "Amy, Rory," he began "I can say this with absolute certainty. He would be honored and I am honored and I think it's an absolutely perfect name."

The new parents smiled at the Doctor and then at one another. Rory took baby John from Amy before leading his wife out of the room, leaving the Doctor and Rose alone.

The Doctor cleared his throat a bit awkwardly "Rose," he began.

She closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck. She rested her head against his chest, tilting her chin up so that she was gazing at him "Do you suppose the Admiral's gone for good?" she asked. That evil Time Lord had almost taken everything from her and she wanted to know that he would never return.

"Did Amy and Rory find a body?" the Doctor asked, countering her question with a question.

"No," Rose answered "But all those explosions… he must have been vaporized or sucked into the Void, right?"

The Doctor dropped into a sitting position on the bed, pulling Rose with him "We can only hope Rose," he replied softly as he tore his eyes from hers and looked off into the distance as if the answer to the question of the Admiral's supposed demise was written on the far wall.

After a few moments Rose spoke again. She adjusted herself in the Doctor's lap so that she could look at him more squarely "Just before John…" her words failed her for a moment "He did something, told you something telepathically. What did he say?"

"He didn't really say anything," the Doctor smiled softly "But he gave me something."

Rose looked bewildered by the Doctor's words "Gave you something?"

"Yes Rose," the Doctor confirmed "Memories, his memories," he tapped his head "He gave me two and a half years worth of his life. Everything that he and you did together. I remember it as if it happened to me…"

A look of comprehension crossed Rose's face and she returned the Doctor's soft smile "Clever man, the both of you," she moved closer as if she was about to kiss him when she pulled back abruptly a look of concern coming over her face "Did it hurt?" she asked "Him dumping all of that into your head in a matter of seconds."

"No," the Doctor replied "It just surprised me is all."

Rose reached a hand up and rested it on the back of his head "I would have never forgivien him if he'd hurt you," she replied.

The Doctor looked at her with wide eyes "He didn't hurt me, I promise you," he assured.

Rose pressed her lips to his "I'm glad." She told him "You know," she continued "John's memories or not, I love you."

The Doctor felt a bit awkward and fidgeted a bit, not saying anything for a long time.

Rose took the opertunity to keep talking. All the while she felt strange that she was the one doing so much talking this time "You told me back on that beach that he was you. He was a great deal like you but he was himself too. And I loved him, all of him. But I never forgot about you and it was hard for me at first to accept that I was in love with two men at once. But I let myself love both of you. And I still love both of you. If everything that was John is up there," she tapped his head "Then I have both the men I love all rolled into one and-"

The Doctor cut her off with a long, passionate, kiss. He moaned into her open mouth with pleasure and when Rose finally pulled away to catch her breath, he whispered "Rose Tyler, I have, do and always will love you."

THE END

A/N: Okay, this is the last chapter boys and girls. Unfortunately because I cannot access the story properties page I cannot mark it as complete or change the summary to say that it's complete so until further notice you're just going to have to believe me. I do have a sequel in the planning stages, so keep an eye out for that. It'll be called "Dark Land of the Renegades". All my wonderful readers and reviewers, this is your last chance to leave a review. I would most especially like to know what you've thought of this chapter as I would like to know if you liked my send off to John. It killed me to kill him and that's probably one of the reasons that he stayed alive so long. I just hope that he went out in style. Please review.