Follow Your Heart
Part 1
By DragonWriter17
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All of the materials borrowed from Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whedon and to the entities and companies associated with their creation. I have borrowed them for creative and entertainment purposes only. No compensation has been or ever shall be received for the writing below. No copyright infringement is intended.
Spoilers: BtVS Season 6 (and beyond)
Pairings: Buffy/Faith
Author's Notes: (1) This story rewrites the events of Buffy's resurrection and introduces a number of non-canon plot changes. One is that Spike leaves town almost immediately after Buffy's death. Another is that Giles leaves much earlier than he did in the original episode, long before Buffy is resurrected. The others you can probably figure out as you go along. (2) The story is written in modified Watchers style. This means that it uses something similar to scene headers in screenplays, but the actual text is mostly written in fiction format. Unlike Watchers, though, I may occasionally show a character's thoughts in italics. (3) In Part 1 of my fan fic story "The Buffy Tapes," I created four flashbacks that occurred behind the scenes of the actual BTVS Season 3 (one flashback is before "Revelations"; another is between "Lovers Walk" and "The Wish"; the third is after "Amends"; and the last one is after the end of "Consequences.") I'm assuming those same events happened in the past of this new story; however, none of the other non-canonical events of "The Buffy Tapes," other than those flashbacks, occurred here. (4) Thanks, as always, to Lilly for the beta read and edit! I would also like to thank the Buffy-vs-Angel web site, whose transcripts I used ("Bargaining I and II," "Afterlife," and "Tabula Rasa").
Number of Chapters: Unknown
Complete: 1
Story Summary: This story explores Faith's reaction to Buffy's death and resurrection, and it presents a new take on the real reason Buffy was raised from the dead.
PART 01
Fade In:
Heaven - A Short Time After Buffy's Death
It was unclear whether the current space was interior or exterior. There were no walls, floor, or ceiling visible. The area seemed almost gaseous as if one were floating within a nebula.
Gradually, the view cleared, and a figure could be made out-a small blonde woman emerging from what appeared to be a swirling portal. As she stepped forward, a pair of glorious angel's wings spread out behind her. Buffy leaned her head back and gazed at the upper tips in awe.
"Yes, we all love them..." a voice lightly chided. "But, honey...most of us try not to flaunt them."
At her mother's words, Buffy blushed a bit and then reluctantly tore her eyes from her new wings. "Sorry," she said sheepishly. In a flash, she put them away.
Joyce pulled her Buffy into her arms. "Oh, it feels so good to hold you again. I missed you."
"I missed you, too. So much."
When the two finally separated, Joyce looked into her daughter's eyes. "So...tell me...what have you learned?"
Buffy glanced away in thought and then walked a few feet away. When she turned around, she said, "Well, I-I-I think that it wasn't enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em-it's that-if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right?"
Joyce gave her daughter a mock glare for the Dorothy quote from the Wizard of Oz. "Smart ass," she said teasingly.
"Mom!" Buffy warned in a hushed voice. "You said 'smart ass' in heaven."
"It's allowed when it's accurate," Joyce countered.
Buffy laughed and then got serious. "I did learn something-a lot of somethings, actually. I learned how lucky I was to have you and Dawn and my friends in my life. I was blessed with a lot of love."
"I'm glad you think so, honey," Joyce said with a smile.
"Unfortunately, I also realized that I was a total screw-up in a lot of ways." Buffy shook her head sadly. "So many things I wish I'd done differently."
"We all learn that," Joyce pointed out. "We're only human."
The two became quiet for a while until Joyce broke the silence with a slight change of subject. "So...are you ready to start being a guardian angel?"
Buffy snickered. "Still can't believe I'm getting to be the star of my own Touched by an Angel episode."
"Have you thought about who you want to watch over?"
Buffy nodded and then gave a hesitant shrug. "I know it should be Dawn..."
"I think I've got her covered," Joyce assured.
"Good 'cause honestly...it's Faith."
Joyce showed no reaction. She just cocked her head and asked, "Not Angel?"
Buffy let out a heavy sigh. "Angel was a mistake. I realize that now. As much as I loved him, it never should have happened."
"What about Willow or Xander?"
"I-I-I know it should be them next to Dawn, I know that," Buffy said, twisting her fingers together, "and I do love them, so much, and I'll worry about them like crazy, but...Faith needs me more." She dropped her gaze to her hands. "She doesn't have anyone. She never did really..."
"Do you feel like you have unfinished business with Faith?" Joyce asked gently.
"Yes," Buffy instantly answered, raising her head to meet her mother's gaze. Then she cringed a little. "Don't be mad."
"I'm not mad, honey," Joyce assured her. "I faced some 'Faith' issues in my own review, if I recall," she admitted.
The slayer's expression saddened. "She had such a tough life in Boston, and when she came to Sunnydale, I should've been a better friend to her. I should've helped her, reached out to her more, I should've-" Buffy stopped and didn't say the rest.
She didn't have to because her mother filled in the blanks. "Told her how you felt?"
Buffy looked up in surprise. "How did you-? I never told anyone."
"I didn't know. Not at first, anyway. It took me a while to piece it all together. Most of it I didn't see or understand until I was here in heaven." Joyce stepped closer to her daughter. "You loved her from the start, didn't you?"
Buffy gave a tearful nod. "I think so. I felt something with her the very first time I met her, but I just thought it was slayer stuff, you know? But it didn't take long to figure out that it was way more than that. It was intense, like, scary intense. I mean, the last time I felt that strongly for someone, it was for Angel, and..."
"And that turned out to be a disaster."
"Exactly," Buffy said. Then she let out another sigh. "No matter how scared I got, though, my feelings kept growing stronger. But then Angel came back, and then Faith killed Finch, and then...I lost her. After that, I think we both went a little crazy. I mean, my god...I almost killed her...I almost killed her..."
As her mother tugged her into another warm embrace, Buffy let the tears come. After a moment, though, she forced them down and pulled away. As she wiped the tears from her face, she gave a rueful laugh.
"I swear, sometimes it felt like the universe was against us, like there was some great conspiracy to keep us apart. Every time we got close, something always happened."
Something about Buffy's statement set Joyce to thinking. She glanced away, her brow furrowing. Buffy didn't notice her mother's reaction.
"I thought maybe things would be different when Faith woke up from her coma," Buffy went on, "but she just went berserk all over again. I don't know why I'm telling you-you were there, you remember."
"I do," Joyce said, coming out of her moment of contemplation. "But I think Faith's actions were more about her not being able to face what she had done. It was easier to blame you."
Buffy nodded in agreement. "It must've all come crashing down on her because when I tracked to L.A. she wasn't angry or blaming. She was just...broken. If I had tried to kill her, she would've let me. I really think she would've let me." She hung her head before continuing. "She was really sorry and wanted to apologize, tried to apologize, but I wouldn't let her. I was too busy playing the justified victim, being all self-righteous." Buffy shook her head sadly. "Angel forgave her and was helping her, but I refused to. I just wanted to punish her."
Buffy finally raised her head and met her mother's gaze again. "And that's why I want to watch over her now. I owe her, and she needs somebody."
"She does need someone," Joyce confessed. "Now more than ever."
"What is it?" Buffy asked worriedly. "What do you know?"
Joyce reached out and squeezed her daughter's arm. "Let's just say she didn't take your death very well..."
TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 02...