O n e.H u n d r e d.S t e p s

One hundred steps to the door. It's cold. He can see the his breath mist the metal pipes. They're dirty. Big pipes, and he doesn't know what the metal is. Doesn't care. Nothing matters but finding his brother and getting home. Getting home with them still safe. Safe and warm and whinny and disobedient. Because he can deal with that. He's wise for a child. Not yet ten years old, he's wise. But he's also very, very scared.

His knowledge is what hurts him the most.

He's never been the smartest. That's Donnie. He's never been able to go with his gut, that's Raph. He's never had the luck or the charm, that's Mikey.

But he's got the grit to just keep going.

And that's when he does now.

It's cold.

It's dark.

His hands cramp and hurt from where he's been gripping the pole as hard as his little arms will allow.

One hundred steps to the door.

How many to his brothers? How many till he can hold them close to him and drag them through this muddy battle field and take them home? Take them somewhere safe and warm and protected?

Leonardo can feel the old, slippery grit underneath his feet. He has to fight for balance. Master Splinter taught them well. Taught his sons well. They can fend for themselves, if the need arises. Leonardo know this, still the thought grips him with a sick, cold fear. Will they need to fend for themselves? Alone? No. Hew won't let them stay alone.

His body is painfully hot against the walls. The floor. The pipes.

He shivers.

Get moving, Leo. Get moving. It's only one hundred steps. You can make it that far. You can find them. Just ignore the sounds of voices. Ignore the sounds of the humans. Father told you to stay away. Father told you to stay away from the,. But you let your brothers go, and now they're being dragged down by this fear. By these filthy humans. You're being dragged down with them.

Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. I'll be there with them. It means I can get them out.

But Leonardo… You're scared of the dark.

A chill down his spine. Scared of the dark. Not scared of the dark. Scared of what it hides. Scared of what's lurking just beyond his reach. Scared to reach out a hand and find it gone. Scared that he can run and run and run forever and never again feel the arms of his father or hear the whispered comforts. Scared that he'll get lost. Scared that he'll loose his brothers. Always scared that he'll loose them.

So he stays, clinging to the pipes and shaking, listening to the footsteps.

Stay quiet. Don't get caught. Never get caught. Remember what Sensei taught us. Please, Mikey, Raph, Don. Be okay. Know that I'm fighting to find you. To reach you. Know that I'll keep fighting.

Just ninety nine steps to the door.

Running and slipping. Stay in the shadows. Ignore the beating of your heart. The bile rising in your throat. Remember what Father said. Just keep breathing. Just keep breathing, Leonardo. They need you. They need you. His leg hurt from earlier. An injury. Nothing really. Stinging with the cold water. But he didn't care. He wiped the tears that blinded his vision and kept on running. Just keep on running.

The voices are far away now. Do you dare? Whisper your brothers' names to the air? Do you dare call their names? Their identity bare for all to see?

Are you desperate enough to call them out?

Yes. Yes anything but this. Anything but them being lost. Anything but them being alone.

"Raphael… Michelangelo…" Nothing.

A lump in his throat, dread in his heart at the whispered last name. He sounds scared. You're the leader. But I'm still a child!

"Donnie..?"

Please answer, Donnie. Please be here. My littlest brother. Not by age. You're not the youngest are you? Not my smarts.. you're smarter then us, aren't you. Not by heart. Never by heart.

"A pause. Silent.

A sniff.

"Leo?"

"Donnie." Scrambling on his knees towards the voice. It's rank in here. In this little corner. Darker than the rest of the vast, sick room. Darker. Danker. Not a place his little brother should ever have to see.

"Donnie?" Reaching out a hand, but it's slapped away. He can see his eyes through the darkness. Distrusting. Scared. So very, very scared.

'Donnie. It's me. Leo."

"Don't know if it's you. You're lying!"

"Donatello.."

"Leo's gone. He's not here." He could hear his brother shifting into the corner, "He's gone. He left." His voice was small now. Small and quiet and almost scared. No. Petrified.

Little brother. We were separated.

His heart breaks.

Separated. How could I find you? I searched and tried and fought so hard for you. I always fight for you.

"Donnie. I promise. It's me. Just come on, we have to go."

Words. Pathetic. What is that of comfort? What are those shallow words? Pretty words?

Not good enough for the innocent soul before him.

Fragile. So strong. So easily broken.

Leonardo knew he should have something in his head, a wonderfully profound comparison that would knock his brother off his feet, so that Leo could carry him home. But he had nothing. What image could encompass all that was Donnie? What word? What sound? What prayer? Leo wanted an answer.

But the only one who has it sat huddled in a corner. Scared of him. Scared and angry and hurt.

Don't let it break, Donatello. Don't let it break, brother.

One hundred steps to the door. How many was it now?

Didn't matter, not unless his brother was there with him. All of them. He had to get them all out. But now. Now there was Donatello. Raph, please take care of Mikey. A silent prayer. I know you can do it, Raph. I trust you.

"Donnie, it's okay, I'm here."

"It's not okay, Leo!" He can see the shoulders shaking. It's a hopeless life, isn't it, Donnie? A hopeless life that we're in, "You're never here! And you're not here now. You're not. You're not…"

You're strong Donnie. Don't brake now. Now that I'm here. I'll catch you. Wait for me. Wait for me to hold you and tell you everything will be okay. I'll tell you that. I'll fight to make it true. I'll fight for you, Donatello.

"Donnie…" Had to be careful. So. So careful. A bird. Not the metaphor he was looking for, but close enough. Free and caged, brilliant and ignorant. Talented, but wasting away. So young. So young.

Tears stung his eyes.

"How do I know you're here?"

He reached out and grabbed his brothers arm, pulling him close. Muffling his brothers indignant, terrified cries with his hand, holding his close against his battered body. Trying to make him see.

"Shhh, Don."

Sobbing in his grip.

Donnie. Please don't cry, little brother. Not without telling me how to make it better.

"You know I'm here the way my hand holds your arm. I'm warmer than you. You can feel that. I'm here with the rise and fall of my chest. I'm here with my voice. I'm talking to you Donnie. You can hear it, right? Feel it?"

A shudder. A nod. Shoulders relaxing. Leonardo moves his hand away from his mouth, wrapping it around his brother's thin shoulders.

"I'm here in my breath and the smell of home. Home, Donatello. Home."

And he could feel the little shudders, cries against his chest. Could see how his brother turned away. Scared. Embarrass.

Not here Donnie. Not around me.

Pulling him close to his chest. Hiding in the shadows. Hiding in the dark with Donatello pressed to his chest. Safe. Quieting his brother.

"Home Donnie. We're going home. And we'll get over this,"

Over the fear and the hurt. It will fade.

"Brother's Donatello. We're going home as a family. As brothers."

Sniffing, "Not the same, Leo. Never gonna e the same."

"I know. I know." Stroking his head. Silent. Hauling him to his feet, holding him close, "Can you walk?"

Stiff upper lip. A nod. Leaning against him hard.

How many steps to the door?

Three…

Two….

You'll grow up to be a great Ninja, Donnie. I know you will. I'll be there the whole way fighting. Laughing. Crying. Living. Even if we're separated, little brother. Even if I have to fight through the darkness to get to you.

"We're out Donnie…"

One…

But Leonardo… You're scared of the dark.

My one hundredth story. I was waiting for the perfect story. Well. This is dedicated to dear friends of mine. Both and all.