Abuse Chapter 1

Abuse. One word that has changed my entire life and how I see the world. The dictionary defines it as "bad or improper treatment" but I know the truth. It is way worse then that. Abuse is the constant pain you feel when the ones who are supposed to love you treat you like your the most vile being to ever set forth on this earth.

I, Sam Puckett, know that constant pain all to well. I never would have guessed this was how my life would turn out like. My parents used to be happy. Until one day when I was only 5 years old.

That day my so-called father walked out on my mom and I. He was one of the most important people in the world to me and I never even got a goodbye. That was the day everything changed. My mom completely lost it. She started drinking more and going out more regardless of the responsibilities she had to me.

Looking back, I wonder why my mom never gave me up for adoption. Sometimes I just like to lay on my bed and think about how my life could have turned out if she had given me up. Maybe I would be happy right now at some fancy boarding school in Texas like Melanie. I could have lots of friends, good grades, and maybe even a boyfriend. But alas that was not the case.

I suppose she wanted to keep a tiny, defenseless punching bag around so she could occasionally let out her frustrations on something. I still remember the very first time it happened. I was only eleven years old. My house was within walking distance of the school so I could walk there as long as I didn't talk to strangers and always kept my little cell phone on me in case of emergencies.

That day, my mom's new boyfriend had broken up with her which wasn't as normal of an occurrence as it is now. She waited for me to come home but when I didn't come home right after school, she got angrier and angrier.

That day, my new friend Molly had invited me over to her house and I excitedly agreed. I tried to call my mom after school but I didn't get an answer. I figured she was out with Chad or something and thought it would be OK to stay at Molly's for a little while.

After about an hour, Molly's parents drove me home and she waved to me from the car as I walked up the door. That was the last time I ever got to see her. When I opened the door, I found my mom sitting on he couch with a bottle of wine in her hand.

She stood up angrily and began to advance towards me. Even at eleven, I figured out pretty quickly that there was something wrong. "Where the hell were you?" she yelled in my face, the stench of alcohol mixed with cigarette smoke quickly overwhelming me. I began to cough and my mother grabbed my jaw and dragged me over to the couch.

I didn't understand what was going on and I tried to explain to her that I had tried to call and where I was but I realize now that no matter what I did, nothing was going to matter. "This'll teach you to listen to me when I order you to do something" she said and grabbed a cigarette from the nearby table.

She lit in and suddenly pushed it against my palm. I tried to scream out in agony but my mom covered my mouth, muffling them. I felt the tears start to slide down my skin as I backed away from my mom who just gave me a disgusted look and shooed me out of the room. I quickly ran to my room, holding my hand, and I just cried for hours. I was so lost and so confused. My mom certainly wasn't the greatest mom in the world but she had never hurt me before today.

The next day, before school started, my mom pulled me aside and warned me to not tell any of my friends or teachers about what had happened or else there would be something much worse waiting for me when I came home. From that moment on, I've always tried to keep people at a distance and not let anybody get too close.

We moved to Seattle only a few weeks later and that is when the barriers that I had been putting up for what seemed like my entire life finally came down. I may have been damaged, but together they healed me. Carly and Freddie became really close friends and I shared everything with them.

Even Freddie, who I constantly teased and insulted, was always there for me when I really needed it. However, they didn't know the truth about what was going on between me and my mom. Sure they knew that we didn't get along so well but I doubt they had any clue about the pain and suffering that I have had to endure for the past 4 years. I thought this was something I could hide forever but I was wrong. And this is the story of how they found out.

A/N: Hello iCarly fans, first of all thank you for reading chapter one of this story. This idea suddenly popped into my head yesterday and I began writing and this was the result. Let me know what you think and whether I should continue it. It's been a long time since I've written anything long so I'm not sure how good/bad this is but please review :)