Title: Never Easy

Rating: M overall

Pairing: Royxed, but mainly Elricest

Genre: Romance, Angst, Horror, Hurt/Comfort... that sounds like a terrible combination 0_0

Summary: Things have never been easy for the Elric Brothers. Why would love be any different?

Warnings: Mature content, language, and violence in later chapters.

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Fullmetal Alchemist. *sobs in corner*

Author's Note: Okay this is the last chapter of 'Never Easy'. I switched around perspective a lot, so I hope I didn't lose anyone. Also, this chapter has some lemony qualities (I don't know, modest lemon?) or whatever you would call it.

_,.-"~^~"-.,_

As I ran out into the lobby, I quickly realized that I had no clue what I was doing. I skidded on my feet as I tried to stop suddenly, almost falling head over heels (literally) as the inertia kept me sliding on the slick, polished floor. To be honest, I hadn't even noticed that I had broken into a run until I had practically burst through the double doors and saw the awkwardly filled lobby. The only reason I hadn't fallen straight on my ass was the almost comical wind-milling my arms did before I had finally caught my balance. I stood there a second: my feet shoulder length apart, knees crouched, and arms out, like I was expecting the floor to suddenly tilt out from underneath me. As I caught my breath for a instant, feeling my heart beat creep down from its maddening pace, I noticed that the smattering of idling partygoers in the room were staring at me. I think I heard one girl giggling from across the room. I observed almost as if from another entity outside of myself that with the ridiculous combination of flushed cheeks (from a kiss), heavy breathing (from a nervous sense of dread), and now that floor sliding stunt, that I probably looked utterly and completely insane.

"Well, if you're done training for clown school, why don't you try using your brain for a second?"

I wasn't truly surprised to notice that the voice inside my head was Teacher. She had a point after all: I had a problem.

Where in the world was Edward? Sure seemed like a common enough question.

I looked around the lobby, and even though there was about a dozen people altogether, every one of them shooting me odd side glances probably afraid I'd start doing something crazy, none of them were Ed.

"Where would he go?"

I started running through a list of people we knew in Central, but all of them were here, so that was a no go. I was pretty sure he wouldn't leave Central, but where would he go then—

Duh, the library.

I had even begun to take a lurching step towards the doors, getting ready to run again, when that plan crashed around me. It was already past midnight: the library was closed.

I could hear a few people gasp as they witnessed me do my quick fakeout before I froze in place again.

"Great Al, you're scaring the general public. Calm down, will ya?"

It hurt a little bit to realize that it was Ed's voice that time, but I took the words to heart.

"Screw these other people, they shouldn't be staring in the first place. Now, where else could Ed go? Think simple."

This time the answer didn't flash into my head, but dissolved in, revealing itself, and gave me that extra second to decide that I really had the right answer this time before I turned slightly and started running again; not towards the doors, but down the hall. I'm sure those people were glad to see me go.

_,.-"~^~"-.,_

"You should go after him."

"What- what are you talking about Mei?"

The hallways were a blur as I rushed through them; doors to empty offices and dark windows revealing an empty world flashed through my vision although I didn't really see any of them.

"I'm say you should go after Edward. He asked me to make sure that you were happy, but… I don't think that I could ever really do that. I care about you very much Alphonse, but you are not mine."

"But—"

"No 'buts' Al."

The stairs seemed never-ending, a mundane path suddenly turned into an obnoxious obstacle. I pushed my way up them, ignoring the burning in my calves which started to seep in as I took the steps two or three at a time.

"No 'buts' Al. You two need each other, and I can't come between that. That's why I'm telling you to go after him; because he's your home and your heart, and you can't let him slip away."

As I sprinted down the last few halls, the last lap, I remember her leaning up to give me a peck on the mouth. I was warm and her lips were soft, and I couldn't help but remember that Ed's lips had been that soft and warm when he had kissed my forehead. I wondered what Ed's lips would feel like against mine, how they would fit together, how gentle or hard he would push them against mine, and how he would taste. I pushed the thought away as I rounded the last corner.

"Thank you for the kiss Alphonse."

"Thank you."

I hope she knew how much I really meant it when I thanked her, because without her, I wouldn't have been standing at the door to the dorm, turning the knob, and going inside.

_,.-"~^~"-.,_

The dark dorm never seemed less homey, even when Al and I had first moved in. We had been so close to getting Al back to his body and this small, used, generic room seemed like it was going to be our first home ever since we burned down the only other one we had ever known. I remember feeling hopeful for the first time ever since that day when we decided to go through hell and back, even if it killed us, in order to get things back to normal again. I remember feeling… well, happy.

I stood in front of our military-issued desk. The books and research notes scattered across it, mingled with miscellaneous personal belongings, made it hard to believe it had ever been empty. I began to think about how things had changed so much as I braced my weight on my hands which laid across what little space was left on the surface of the desk. My side didn't hurt anymore, but that didn't mean I wasn't in pain.

I had been happy then, but now, things were a different story. Sure, to the outside eye, things hadn't changed that much. But if you looked closely, really plunged yourself into the events which past not even ten minutes ago, and if you looked deep at what those events would snowball into then you would see that chain reaction that was already starting to form, changing any plans that I…we, might have had for the future. Everything had pivoted when she had kissed him. With that kiss, she took his innocence (well, the innocence of love; the rest had been forced out of him long ago). With that kiss, she became the new focus in his life. And with that kiss, she had stolen the only person that I had ever really cared about, loved, away from me.

And the kicker of it was, the part that made the throbbing, burning, falling, wreckage of my heart scream out even more, was that I had hoped she would do it. I had wanted her to pull him as far away from me as possible: for his own sake.

That's why I was shocked when he burst into the room like he was on fire and jumping into a pool. "What are you doing here?" I realized I shouted it, but probably because he had scared the shit out of me.

"What… does it… look… like?" Al said, slightly out of breath.

"N-no. You shouldn't be here…you should be with Mei," I stuttered to figure out what in the world was going on. "And why are you panting?"

"I…was …running," he forced out as he placed his hands on his knees for a second before taking a deep breath, slowing down his heart.

I stared at him for a second, eyebrows furrowed. "Oh…wait! Why were you running?"

He looked at me, wearing an expression that clearly read 'that's-a-damn-good-question'. "I… I don't know," he said slowly, sounding like he was just admitting it to himself. This was just ridiculous.

"Al! You need to go back downstairs. You don't want to keep Mei waiting."

He shook his head and stood up straight again, shutting the door behind him before he casually rested against the wall with one shoulder. "Mei isn't waiting for me."

"What?" I couldn't believe this. Things were not going according to plan, and I could feel my heart start to race.

"Mei isn't waiting for me," he repeated, knowing that I had heard him the first time. "That's why I came up here…" It looked like he was going to say more, but he held back.

I stood there and I figured that I probably looked like a teenager who just found out that they couldn't go out with their friends because of their failing grades: confused, disappointed, and rebellious.

"Al, you have to go back downstairs and find her before she leaves. She really like you and you can't just leave her hanging like that."

"But Brother—"

"Just go Al! Do it!" My voice crept up higher in volume and I could practically feel the silence slap me as the last drifts of my shouts bounced off the walls and the reverberations faded. I turned around and leaned on the desk again, my head bowed. I didn't want Al to see my face twist in pain. I didn't want him to see my eyes start to water. I didn't want him to see me break.

There were just the awkward, soft whispers of air passing smoothly from Al's lungs and the faked, slight hitching breaths from me. When I had used that tone of voice, ninety-nine percent of the time it made Al listen and obey. That voice said "I know you might not understand, and you might think I'm doing the wrong thing, but you have to trust me." Over the years and as his older brother, I perfected it from many times when I had to make a tough decision and didn't have time to explain. Al had learned over the years that he should just do what I said, because eventually he would discover that it was the right thing to do. Well, it turned out to be that one percent of the time when he didn't listen.

"No." It was soft, yet at the same time I could practically feel it slap me in the face and I actually flinched from it.

I sighed deeply, letting my shoulder fall with my chest. "Alphonse—"

"No! Don't 'Alphonse' me!" His voice was harsh and his own name came out like a hiss. "I'm not going downstairs or anywhere for that matter! I'm staying right here with you!"

"Good. I never wanted you to leave anyways. Stay. Stay with me. Promise you'll stay and I'll promise to never let you go. Just don't leave."

"Leave Al!" I shouted at the desk before me. My hands curled into fists on the surface of the desk, slightly crumpling some notes. I shut my eyes tight, futilely fighting the tears I desperately wanted to go away. This wasn't what I wanted to happen. I wanted him to be happy and for me to be able to fake that I was too. I never wanted to hear my own voice filled with so much hate. Never at Al, even if I didn't mean it.

"No!" he shouted back almost instantly. "I… I know what you're trying to do so… stop it!"

"I don't… I don't know what you're talking about," I said still refusing to turn around.

"Don't try lying to me Brother! This whole thing with Mei was planned wasn't it? I know exactly what you've been doing! You think that you're doing what's right; what will make me happy. You think that being with Mei will make me happy. But have you ever stopped and asked yourself what I want, Brother?"

I finally spun around, only half because of what he said, but the main reason was because of how he said it. And when I turned around, what I saw shocked me and confirmed what I had heard. Al didn't sound angry or resentful, but hurt and lonely. His voice was cracking and his breathing was hitched. I saw tears rolling down his cheeks, tipped from his eyes by his slightly bowed head. His hands were clasped into fists by his sides, his feet slightly parted; looking like he was bracing himself against a tackle. What surprised me most was that even with his tears and shouts, he didn't look like a child throwing a tantrum, but rather like a wife finally telling her ignorant husband that she was tired of being ignored. Tired of being passed over. Tired of being alone. Al didn't see me seeing any of this though, because he eyes were closed as he continued right along on his speech.

"Well, I know what I want! I've known for a long time. I… I only ever wanted you Ed!" he was still crying, the only evidence was his wet cheeks and wavering voice, but a fierce blush was rising on his cheeks as well. His eyes were still closed, making it easier for him to confess. "I only loved you Brother and I know you feel the same way! I can see it in your eyes when you look at me just as clearly as I know you can see it in mine! I… I…" his voice started to fail as his throat began to choke up, but he pushed through it, "I don't want to be with Mei. Don't you understand Ed? The… the only way I could be happy is… is with you."

I had enough of this. It had to stop.

_,.-"~^~"-.,_

With my eyes closed, I didn't see Ed turn around to watch me while I shouted and cried; letting everything out because I had been hurting for so long with it trapped inside. With my shouts, I didn't hear his breathing slow and become steady again; like he was preparing himself for some trial. And even after I finished yelling, with my blood rushing in my ears and my heartbeat in my throat, I couldn't hear him close the few feet between us. But I could feel it as he slid one hand behind my neck, burying it in my hair. I definitely felt his other hand slipping around my waist to rest on my back as he pulled me flush against his body. And without a doubt I felt it when his lips connected with mine, instantly changing any shock I might have felt into pure heat.

Realistically, the kiss probably lasted only five seconds, but it felt like I had been swept out to sea for days; and when he lightly broke the seal between our lips, I felt as if I had been abruptly washed up on shore again, but it was alright, because he was still holding me.

"Al… I…" he whispered, his forehead pressed against mine, breathing the same air as me.

I knew what he wanted to say, and understood at the same time why he was having trouble saying it.

I love you: Brother had said it to me many times over the years, sometimes followed by a 'no-matter-what', or a 'you-idiot', or more often with a simple 'Al'. But this time it was different. This time, those three small words, those eight letters, meant more than anything Ed had ever said before to anyone. It was amazing how one simple act could change something so drastically.

"It's alright," I whispered back, "you don't have to say anything. You were never very good with words, anyways." He chuckled softly at that. "Show me instead."

And that's just what he did. Instead of a tone, he used his hands; touching, massaging, exploring, before finally divesting my shirt and trousers and pulled me with him onto our bed. My hands matched his. Instead of words, he used his mouth; nipping, licking, kissing, as he roamed over my body, not missing any place he could reach. My mouth matched his.

Everything felt so strangely wonderful to my new-found body. The skin burned and crackled with every touch, the muscles screamed in a pleasurable tension, while my heart thudded furiously, flooding every vein to full capacity. I was being pushed and pulled, rocked and stilled, all while feeling both nervous and comfortable, and in both pain and constant bliss. I never wanted it to end.

I looked up into Brother's face and instead of asking for permission with his voice, he asked with his eyes. Those eyes were so powerful. Edward's lustrous amber eyes were always my favorite part of him: they could suck you in, they could push you away, and they could melt you in an instant. His eyes always could tell you what Ed was feeling if you took the time to look, something Roy Mustang could have been able to tell anyone; and this time they glowed with affection, desire, lust, and conflictingly, timidness, doubts, and awkwardness.

I held his face in my hands and kissed him deeply and languidly, reveling in the sensation of his body on top of mine. I took a page from his book and silently nodded, never breaking eye contact.

He laid tender kisses down my neck and chest to tell me that he would be gentle, and he was as he showed me exactly what levels of pleasure my body was capable of reaching while pushing me to limits I didn't know I had. Pain swirled into pleasure until I couldn't even recognize the two apart, and I craved more.

Edward actually spoke only once.

"I love you, Alphonse," he breathed into the shell of my ear as he broke down the last remaining barrier between us, making us physically what I had already known for years: that they two of us were one. The measured, rocking waves threatened to drown me; to fill my lungs, my heart, my bones, my entire being until I exploded with raw emotion, or sensation, or both. I could feel everything at once and at the same time my brain struggled to recognize it all. With my mouth I could taste lips, tongue, traces of my own skin, and even the thick air that flooded my burning lungs. With my hands, I could feel the silky strands of hair that looked like stolen sunlight, the raised, velvety scars that marked the borderland of flesh and metal, and Brother's heartbeat which met my fingertips at the top layer of skin on his chest. With my eyes, I could see two chests rising and falling together with quick, shallow breaths, muscles flex and tense under sun-kissed, battle-marked skin, and a pair of gold eyes which saw deep into the darkest, most-remote places of my heart which I have laid out for him.

I could feel my body reach unknown territory, peaking towards some mysterious summit. The edge raced towards me and I quickly succumbed to it, tipping over, but I wasn't afraid of falling, because I knew he would be right there to catch me. My toes curled, my back arched, and my throat screamed Edward's name all without my permission: I was too lost in the blazing white oblivion that shocked every nerve. Vaguely I could feel him tense against me and I knew Brother was just as lost as I was, and as the stars faded, breathing resumed, and hearts slowed, I also knew that Brother and I had found each other.

_,.-"~^~"-.,_

Things are never easy. I learned that when my mother died when I was still just a little child.

Al and I had lost everything just because we had dared to get back the one thing that had meant most to us. The two of us were broken, and watched as dozens of other people were broken as well. The two of us faced death time and time again, and not just for us. While watching everything slip from our fingers, I had begun to think that equivalent exchange only applied to alchemy.

But while I laid there, Al in my arms, deep in sleep already, and my own tiredness starting to overpower me, I thought that maybe everything was going to be alright. Sure, things were never easy, but that didn't seem to matter anymore as I drifted off and knew that when I woke up, it would be a different day; that Al would be there by my side, and we would face the day, and whatever trials it brought, together.

Author's Note: Okay finally done! I'm sorry that it took so long, and thanks to everyone that commented and stuck with it. I definitely gained an appreciation for chapter fics... I need to just write some good ol' pr0n now. Have a great day, and remember, humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return.

~Silvergray