In honour of William Shatner's and Leonard Nimoy's birthday I decided to write a Star Trek fic. This is really late, though to be fair I started on the 25th and I have had uni. Besides, it's not like each of them will read this anyway. Anyway enjoy.

Looking across the bridge, Nyota could barely believe it had only been a year since the destruction of Vulcan. If she knew then that everything would turn out like this, she wouldn't have believed it. For one thing most of them had been cadets, and it had looked like Spock and Kirk would have a rivalry that would last until one of them killed the other. It wasn't like she had imagined her boyfriend choking the captain, after all.

No, they were very much over that little incident it seemed, as she watched them standing so close to each other their shoulders brushed. She also found that she practically had to book an appointment to spend her downtime with her boyfriend. How many games of chess can you really play? Sometimes it almost felt as though he were dating the Captain instead of her, and it hurt. She would never tell him that, though, he would believe she was being illogical and she would be. Vulcan's weren't very affectionate and so the fact that he allowed her to be so with him… She practically heard glass shatter and she was reminded of a twenty-first century television series, only she worked it out on her own. He had allowed her to be affectionate with him and the distinction between allowing and wanting suddenly seemed very great. How had I not seen it before? Was she so love sick that was willing to accept one sided affection?

She looked at Spock, who had turned to look at his station, only for her stomach to flutter and she realised she may possibly, probably be that lovesick. Suddenly the butterflies died quicker than if doused with bug spray, as Kirk clapped Spock on the shoulder and moved to stand beside him. She had never really paid too much attention to their interactions before, but now her hidden insecurities had kicked in, and it was hard to do anything else. It was only made worse by the fact Spock hadn't wished to spend time with her yesterday, on the anniversary of the death of Vulcan. Even if they hadn't talked about it, she would have liked to have been there for him. Instead he ended up skipping dinner and probably spent the time meditating in his room.

After finding herself unable to draw her attention away from the two men, she was surprised that Spock hadn't noticed her lack of attention to her work and she almost wished he would. After their rocky beginning, it was incredible just how determined Spock and Kirk seemed in becoming friends. It was as though they were aware of something she wasn't and whatever was seemed to be slowly killing off… Well not exactly killing, more like stunting, the relationships between them and anyone else. After Spock decided to become first officer and they had begun a relationship, she had believed she was about to live her happily ever after with the man of her dreams, only her happily ever after would be far more exciting than any fairytale she'd ever be feed as a child. Now looking at the perfectly synced captain and first officer… How am I supposed to compete with that? Despite reading every available text on Vulcans and practicing for hours to get the Ta'al right, it didn't seem to matter when Kirk could just skip that and have Spock open up to him so easily. Maybe I should…

'Spock, can I speak with you?' She said, by his side before she realised it, having changed her mind at the last moment. Straightening, Spock turned to face her, and nodded in consent.

'Go ahead Spock, I can handle it from here and I will inform… Percy was it? What it is we have been up to,' Kirk said and for a moment she felt an irrational anger at the captain, as though her needs were less important than his.

'I find it fascinating that you have such an illogical need to create a different name for my stand in every time you mention him,' Spock said and Nyota was reminded why it was that she was about to have the conversation that she was with Spock.

'It's more fun that way, besides that way I won't have a name to give to the admirals for a possible replacement when you finally decide you can't stand me anymore and you will have to stick around,' Kirk said a wide grin on his face. Did I just turn invisible or something?

'Indeed,' Spock said, eyebrow raised, before he finally addressed her. 'Do you require that we relocate for the duration of this conversation?'

'I'd appreciate that, yes,' Nyota said trying to hold down the emotions that started to bubble beneath her skin. Spock nodded and she led them back to her own quarters in hopes the familiar location would make her feel more at ease.

'I don't get it,' Nyota said the words bursting from her lips the moment the door closed behind them.

'You are not being specific, I do not know what it is that you are referring to,' Spock said, and had he been fully human he still wouldn't look half as confused as Nyota felt then.

'I have thought it over again and again; heck, I nearly asked Kirk on the off chance it would help, but I have come to the conclusion, I don't get it,' Nyota said, part of her praying she would get the answers she needed to erase her fears once and for all.

'Why is it that you chose not to make an enquiry to the captain?' Spock said, his hands moving behind his back.

'Because I realised that it would only serve to make it worse,' she admitted, not really knowing how to proceed. Part of her wished Spock would just know the problem, like he seemed to with Kirk of late.

'As you appear convinced of this, may I enquire as the matter that is troubling you, as it may be beneficial for the two of us to combine our efforts to allow for greater efficiency of thought,' Spock said and she clung to the demonstration of concern like it was a life line.

'Is that you way of saying two heads are better than one?' She said, the joke falling flat in her ears.

'While that idiom is highly illogical, I believe it correctly surmises what I stated,' Spock said, the familiarity of the moment causing things to start falling back into place.

'Thanks, but no thanks Spock. I think that your help would only make things worse too,' Nyota said, still unsure if she could handle the answers of all the questions she wished to ask.

'Your gratitude is illogical as you have not allowed me to do anything. Will you tell me the logic behind this dismissal?' Spock said and Nyota wondered if she had offended him by not accepting his help and she fought a smile. He's worried about me.

'I'm sorry Spock, but I doubt you would see the logic, of my logic.' Standing in front of Spock now and trying to convey what had seemed so logical before made her wonder if she wasn't simply blowing everything out of proportion. 'I don't even really see my logic anymore. I'm sorry that I dragged you away from work like that.'

'You did not 'drag' me away from anything. You are distressed. If I can assist in alleviating that stress, then it is only logical that I do so.' Spock said with such a quiet determination that Nyota couldn't resist the tiny smile that crept across her face.

'You're sweet,' Nyota said drinking in the dark eyes and smooth fair skin. Leaning up on her toes she raised her hands to cradle his face as she drew him down for a chaste kiss, her mouth buzzing from the rare, but brief contact. 'Thankyou.' How could I have ever considered letting this go. Spock's comm. buzzed and his hand automatically reached down to answer it.

'Spock here.'

'Oh hi Spock.' It's Kirk. Of course it's Kirk, who else would it be? 'I was just wondering if we are still on for chess.'

'Of course captain. I will be there momentarily,' Spock said.

'For the last time Spock, it's Jim.' Nyota barely restrained a giggle as she heard the fond annoyance in the Kirk's voice. It's crazy how happy I can be, just being around him.

'Your statement is misleading, as it implies you will desist after this attempt,' Spock said and Nyota felt her mouth drop open. Since when did my oh-so-Vulcan boyfriend start cracking jokes?

'Ok, that's it, you are so going down,' Kirk said trying to sound annoyed, but Nyota could hear the laughter in his voice.

'Indeed, if it pleases you to believe such an illogical assumption, you may do so,' Spock said and Nyota had a dark suspicion that Spock must have somehow forgotten her presence, as she had never seen that twinkle in his eye before, and she vaguely heard Kirk laugh.

'Illogical? Who was it that won two rounds in a row last night,' Kirk shot back and Nyota felt herself grow cold. 'Face it, even if I am the most illogical player of chess, I still beat you.'

'You are behaving childishly, however to deny your victory would be, illogical,' Spock said smoothly.

'Spock, I thought you said… But yesterday was…' Nyota said, trying to keep the hurt from her voice.

'Oh, you're there too Nyota, can I call you Nyota? I mean we're friends now right?' Kirk said and Nyota fought the urge to gag. Ok, he turned out not to be a complete moron, and he is a far better captain than anyone with his level of experience really ought to be, and so in her weaker moments she had found himself referring to him as such, however…

'It's Uhura,' she said, with more bite than she intended.

'I'll wear you down, eventually,' Kirk said and for a moment she realised he probably would… until she remembered why she was so pissed off in the first place and looked up at Spock.

'Well?' She demanded.

'Judging from your tone and accenting, you are asking me a question, yet I know not how to answer,' Spock said and Nyota nearly growled. Spock's Vulcan moments were becoming less often since he began spending time with Kirk and herself, but the moments of misunderstanding always came at the worst times.

'Yesterday was the anniversary of… that,' Nyota said emphatically. 'When you said you would prefer not to have dinner with me, I thought that you were intending to meditate or something.' Nyota felt the fear that had previously been squashed, slowly rise.

'Um, I think I will just go now. See you Spock, Uhura,' Kirk said, almost sounding nervous.

'I shall join you soon,' Spock said and Nyota felt as though she had been slapped. Doesn't he realise that I'm upset? Or doesn't he care now he is missing out on his precious chess time?

'Spock,' She said indignantly, as he closed the comm.

'It was not my intention to upset you. I did not…' Spock paused and Nyota realised he was about to say 'feel'. '…As Kirk went through a similar loss, I believed it only logical and not inconvenience you.'

'Maybe I wanted to be inconvenienced,' Nyota said, not bothering to hide her anger. 'Spock I care about you and I want you to be able to come and talk to me, even if you believe what you feel is illogical.'

'I accept your concern for me, however, it was not my wish to change my routine due to the date being one earth year after the death of Vulcan and she who was my mother,' Spock said. 'If you are placated now, I will leave to attend the chess match against the captain. I believe that I have discovered a method which will give me the tactical advantage.'

'Placated? Leave? Spock you can't just walk away like this,' Nyota said, disbelief colouring her voice as the illusions she had built up around this being fell away like glass, shredding her on its way down. 'Don't I matter to you anymore?' Damn it, she hadn't meant to say that.

'That statement is more illogical than I believed of you,' Spock said and Nyota felt her anger grow.

'Forgive me, I'm only human,' Nyota said bitterly.

'If you desire, I will return after the match and we will discuss this further,' Spock said and Nyota just nodded, surrendering now. 'Then I will return in approximately two hours time.'

As the door closed again, all the anger fell away again and all Nyota was left with was a choked sob. It was never so hard as when you believe you doubts to be paranoia, only to shown exactly why you were so 'paranoid' in the first place.

It was exactly half an hour after Spock had said he would arrive and Nyota ha decided to give up and go to bed. Logically, she was aware that Spock would be there soon, but she wasn't feeling logical at that moment and her 'illogical' feelings were screaming at her that she was once more being put second, possibly even third. Nyota never really considered at what level the Enterprise factored into the equation. During the two and a half hours that Spock had been away, Nyota had revised everything she wished to say to him the moment he arrived and before she realised it she was pacing back and forth across the room.

…Too angry…

…Too subtle…

…Now he's going to think I love Kirk…

…Now he's going think I think he loves Kirk…

…Why am I thinking about Tribbles?…

…Scotty really needs to fix that light…

…Really not the time…

…What is so great about chess?…

…Ok, bad mental imagery…

…Why am I thinking about Sulu and Chekov right now?...

…Maybe he does…

…I really need to get my head checked…

…Ugh, this recycled air is wrecking my skin…

…Focus Nyota, now…

…Ok, that is just insane…

…Maybe I should reconsider my first idea, Spock does need things to be blunt sometimes…

…Now he's really going to think I think he loves Kirk…

…That's it I'm going to bed.

With that thought she crossed the room and changed into her pyjamas which consisted of an overly large T-shirt that she had got for free with something she bought a few years before and some light shorts. In a random after thought she turned the temperature down a few degrees from the slightly warmer than comfortable temperature she had it at to accommodate her boyfriend. Ok, she was feeling spiteful, but in her defence she was also really tired. I can't handle this right now.

'Lights to off,' Nyota said as climbed into bed, pulling the sheets up around her to make up for the coolness that suddenly descended.

…What if he shows up?...

…There is now way chess could be taking this long…

…I really am paranoid aren't I?...

…Damn it Nyota, just go to slee-

The sound of her door bell chimed, effectively cutting off that thought.

'Lights to seventy percent,' Nyota groaned, sitting up and swung herself off the bed. I just got comfortable too. Allowing the door to open, Spock came in, only raising an eyebrow at her change of attire. Making a show of looking at the clock on her bedside table, she said, 'I thought you said two hours.'

'I made that approximation based on the length of time I usually spend playing chess with the captain. Due to the nature of our discussion at the time of my calculation, I did not factor in the additional time that was added due to the events that occurred three hundred and sixty-six Earth days ago.' Spock said all this with his usual calm manner, as though talking to Kirk about things that he wouldn't even tell her was perfectly normal. Feeling a bit disorientated now that Spock was actually there, as well the rush of anger almost forced her to sit down. Fine, if this is going to happen right now, he can tell me right now.

'I don't get it.'

'As I said in our previous conversation, that phrase on its own is ambiguous and thus I can make no suitable answer,' Spock said smoothly, his gaze fixed upon her face, studying it for any indication of meaning.

'You and Kirk, I don't get it,' Nyota said and for a moment she felt herself relax as she finally said what the problem was. Only for a moment.

'You continue to avoid specifying what it is that you fail to understand. Am I correct in my hypothesis that this is the reason for our prior conversation?' Nyota ignored his question as she attempted to phrase her own in such a way that he would understand and not believe her to be as illogical as she half wondered that she was being.

'You and Kirk… Why are you so determined to be friends all of a sudden?' Nyota said, feeling proud at her mostly innocuous question. 'I mean I understand that you two got over your problem with each other while fighting Nero, but this…'

'You are correct in your belief that the Captain and I came to an understanding in the fight against Nero,' Spock said and was suddenly staring intently at a point just to the right of her ear and Nyota realised that he must be nervous. 'However, both the Captain and myself have failed to inform you of another event which has caused the both of us to deem it logical to become further acquainted with each other.'

'Excuse me?' Nyota said, unable to believe her ears.

'Due to the nature of the information that I will tell you, I must request that this conversation in its entirety, be known only to yourself,' Spock said, his eyes fixed on the same spot.

'Fine,' Nyota said, curiosity mixed in with her fear. Had Spock been fully human he probably would have taken a deep breath at that point, but he simply began.

'As you are aware, Nero and the others on board the Nerada came from an alternate future, however, his ship was not the only one to arrive here from that time,' Spock said and Nyota drew in a sharp breath. 'To my knowledge, only the captain and myself are aware of the true identity of the ship's pilot, however, it is logical to believe that others have been made aware of that particular information.'

'So who is it?' Nyota demanded.

'It is myself,' Spock said simply and Nyota's eyes widened.

'Wait, wait, wait… what? Are you saying there is two of you running around here?' Nyota said, trying to wrap her mind around the idea that another, most likely older version of her boyfriend existed in this universe. How could he keep this from me?

'Though that is an inaccurate description of our current action, the nature of the question is not incorrect,' Spock said and Nyota felt a flare of irritation at his correction. 'As you are also aware, after the… destruction of my home world, I marooned the captain on Delta Vega for mutiny. It was there, Nero stranded my counter part, so he would witness the destruction of Vulcan. It was also at that time the two became acquainted with each other and the captain was convinced to force me to reveal the level at which I had been compromised. It was due to their meeting, the captain was able to return to the ship in time to save Earth, using a formula that Mr. Scott created in the alternate timeline. The captain was sworn to secrecy and so I was unaware of the possibility of my counterpart's existence in this universe, until I was required to fly the ship which brought him into this universe. I was later confronted by him after my decision to resign from Starfleet.'

'So you really were going to leave then,' Nyota said the cold feeling returning.

'I believed it to be logical at the time, to assist in rebuilding my species,' Spock said and Nyota felt like cursing his ability to hide his emotions so well. 'With the existence of my counterpart, my assistance was no longer necessary and I was told to 'follow my heart'. He then informed me that in the alternate timeline, the captain and myself had a friendship which defined us both.' So that's why. 'Due to my strained relationship with my father, the death of my mother and the difficulties I found in acceptance from other Vulcan's due to my human mother, this potential appealed to me in a way that I had not expected.'

'I need to know, was I even the slightest influence in you choosing to become first officer?' Nyota said, unsure that she wanted the answer.

'I do not know how to proceed, since I believe your question stems from emotion and my actions at that time were made with the intention to comply fully with what was logical…'

'That's bullshit and you know it,' Nyota said, her fear now confirmed. 'And don't even think about telling me about how the use of that term is illogical. Why are you even with me?'

'I believed that my presence was required to discuss your present distress,' Spock said causing Nyota to almost laugh and that scared her.

'You know that is not what I meant,' Nyota said sharply. 'Why are you in a romantic relationship with me?'

'It is logical,' Spock said, his words setting fire to her blood.

'Ok then, why are you friends with Kirk?' Nyota said, her teeth clenched.

'I request that you open your mouth to allow for clearer communication,' Spock said though, Nyota noticed then that the space between them had widened.

'Stop avoiding the question,' Nyota said more clearly this time.

'Due to the illogical nature of this discussion, I must take time to consider my words, to prevent the situation from escalating beyond this point,' Spock said and for a moment Nyota felt happiness that he cared enough about her to be careful with his words.

'Why do you keep referring to Kirk as 'the captain'?' Nyota said, unable to help herself. I must be a masochist.

'I thought it logical to refer to him as such, due to the source of your stress being the relationship between myself and the captain,' Spock said and Nyota realised to her annoyance that it had helped.

'Well, don't… and answer my question,' Nyota said, sounding sulky even in her own ears.

'Very well. Jim and myself have agreed that due to the strong connection between ourselves in the alternate timeline, it would be logical to attempt such a friendship in this one. This has proven to be more successful than either of us anticipated. Jim has an extremely logical mind; one that works in the most fascinatingly illogical ways,' Spock said, and Nyota swore she saw his eyes light up now that he had begun, seeming almost animated for a vulcan. 'In chess, for example, he never follows any recognisable strategy, and yet he is able to win in forty-nine point five percent of our games. He is ruled by emotion and yet never allows others to control those emotions. It is… fascinating.' And all I got was, it was logical. What does that mean anyway?

'Are you attracted to him?' Nyota said, needing to know if it truly was only a life changing friendship, or if it could be more. Spock raised an eyebrow.

'His mind is…'

'I meant physically. Are you attracted to him?' Nyota said, cutting him off, her voice raising as if to drown out her own thoughts.

'I had not considered Jim in terms of aesthetics,' Spock said. 'Is there anything else you wish to know?' That's not an answer, that's not even a good evasion.

'Would you be able to give me the contact details of your counterpart?' Nyota said, not bothering for a more straight forward answer, not sure she wanted one. Kirk wasn't able to be so… active, because he's smart.

Nyota took a deep breath as she connected the call to the new Vulcan planet. In a few seconds she would be talking to an alternate universe version of her boyfriend, who was, according to Spock, about one hundred and twenty-seven years older. She did not have long to panic, before a serene looking Vulcan appeared on the screen.

'Spock…' She said quietly, unable to believe her eyes. It was Spock, but time and circumstances had changed him greatly from the Spock she knew. For one thing he was certainly more expressive.

'Miss Uhura, has something occurred? Why has my counterpart informed you of my existence?' Spock said and that told Nyota all she needed to know. Obviously 'her' Spock, and she used the term loosely, hadn't informed this Spock of this particular change in the time line, and she was certain it was a change.

'They're fine,' Nyota said, knowing he would work out who 'they' were. 'I just had a talk with Spock, and he told me. I have a few questions concerning him and captain which I wanted cleared up, so I got him to give me your contact information.'

'Fascinating,' Spock said quietly. 'What is it that you wish to ask?' The similarities in their speech, their movements… everything, caused Nyota's barely contained anger and frustration to erupt once more.

'When you deemed it necessary to interfere with their relationship, didn't you consider that in pushing those two together, you would be effectively making them drive everyone else away?' Nyota said angrily, eyes flashing. Why is everything working against us?

'I had considered that, however, I did not believe that to be the case. Even if it had been, I would not have changed my actions, as my relationship with Jim has always been the most important of my life and I could not allow my mistake to cost my counterpart of all that entailed,' Spock said, his expression unchanging in spite of her anger.

'Well you were wrong. I have been in a romantic relationship with your counterpart for almost a year now,' Nyota said bitterly, with a touch of dark triumph as Spock's eyes widened.

'My counterpart had not informed me of this; however, it was never my intention to hurt you. Indeed, the only other relationship either of us had of any particular strength was with Leonard McCoy,' Spock said with such sincerity that Nyota felt herself weaken.

'I guess you probably don't get to talk much,' Nyota said, more for her benefit than his.

'No, we talk quite frequently, and that is why I find it so illogical to be made unaware of this,' Spock said and Nyota felt her feeble hope crumble.

'What do you talk about then?' Nyota said quietly, unable to look at the man she was speaking to.

'It is illogical to request the answer to a question of which you know the answer,' Spock said gently and Nyota could only nod. 'While I do not regret my actions, I must stress that I was not aware until this conversation that there was any connection between my counterpart and yourself. I simply could not allow for the possibility that they could become any less than what we were…'

'Who gave you that right? So you screwed up and the future changed, why didn't you give me the chance to become that important to him. Why does it have to be Kirk?' Nyota said, her voice becoming steadily louder until she was yelling, ignoring the way her vision blurred a tear ran down her cheek.

'Despite our lack of romantic attachment in my time, you were a friend and it pains me that I have hurt you. If I had not intervened, however, he would never have returned to the Enterprise and have spent the remainder of his life on the planet we have selected to colonise. Now that he has returned to the Enterprise, I find it illogical to think that Jim and my counterpart could not have become friends, I merely pointed out the possibility,' Spock said. It was then Nyota realised there was something he wasn't telling her and her eyes narrowed.

'Were things between you and 'Jim' any more than friends?' Nyota said. And the award for best masochist in a romantic relationship goes to… A crash could be heard in the background and a young Vulcan appeared beside Spock.

'Elder Selek, a situation has occurred that requires your attention,' the vulcan said, his worry barely concealed. I guess he would have to use a false name so that people wouldn't find out his identity.

'I must depart now. If you have further questions you may contact me,' Spock said and a moment later the screen was dark.

The next few days were hard and not only due to my problems with Spock. The universal translator had failed to an extreme amount on the last mission, which almost led to Kirk being married, Spock being shot and Chekov being stoned to death. You can probably guess which one I was the most upset about. How anyone can even think about hurting that kid is beyond me. It all ended well, though… Ok, not exactly well. I guess Kirk can't help the fact that he is extremely compatible with my boyfriend which he wouldn't have realised had it not been for some meddling time travelling replica of my boyfriend... Not bitter much am I? And it ended with Kirk being shot, Spock being stoned to protect Kirk (only a few stones, barely even bruised) and Chekov somehow becoming engaged to Sulu. How that all happened is way too complicated for me to think about and I'm not sure I want to know how that works out.

So far Nyota had managed to avoid Spock and had been achieving the status of out of sight out of mind, but she was hoping to over achieve and make it out of heart too. It was the end and she knew it. She didn't want to be second place in the eyes of the one she loved and she knew she didn't deserve it. It was a lot easier to decide this all on her own, than tell Spock and have to talk about it. The worst part was Spock would likely have no idea why she would be doing it without a detailed explanation that Nyota just couldn't give. As she was brushing her hair on her bed, she heard her door buzz and she placed the brush down to answer the door.

'What have you done?'

Just wondering, does anyone know what television show I was referring to? I saw the episode recently and I could resist referencing it. Anyway I hope you all liked the chapter since this is my first time writing Star Trek and apart from the movie, I have only seen about 16 episodes of TOS, so I hope I got them relatively in character. Thanks for reading and I will hopefully have the sequel up soon. This will be in three parts with Nyota, Spock and Kirk as the main POV for each part. Wish me luck.