Summary: The truth of my life.
Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Ai Yazawa. All character rights go to her and I make no profit off of them.

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Hate is a powerful word, the opposite of the word love. A word that is foreign to Shinichi Okazaki. Coming from a dysfunctional family, Shinichi hated them. He hated his father, his mother and his brother. He felt out of place in his own family, he just wanted to be free. So for that freedom he left his home and abandoned his original family name.

Being out of the house, Shinichi did finally feel free. But unluckily he didn't have anywhere to go. He was basically homeless. Being only fifteen years old he didn't have any money to buy let alone rent a place for himself. The only option he came up with was prostitution.

Sounds atrocious to be a fifteen year old selling your body for sex. But Shinichi didn't care.

As long as money was made to support himself, he didn't care.

Women or men, it didn't matter just as long as they paid him. And Shinichi wasn't cheap. This 'job' of course helped him along the way. He knew how to save his money and what to spend it on and what not to. His normally brown hair had been dyed an aqua color. He looked more like a rebel, with his piercings. It was a look that he had grown accustomed to. Because he hated his old look.

Despite him being a teenager, he was very mature for his age. He could tell when someone was lying to him. He knew when someone wasn't being their true self. After all, Shinichi can be a true fabricator himself.

He only cared about himself. No one else mattered to him.

Pulling out a cigarette, he attempted to light it with a lighter but the cigarette was snatched from his hand. Lifting his head, his green eyes met with dark angry eyes. "What did you do that for?" He frowned.

"I told you no smoking! You're just a child and you shouldn't be smoking in the first place!" The black haired female yelled at him. But despite the anger displayed in her eyes, there was concern laced in her voice. She was worried about him.

That thing about no one else mattered…well someone did matter, actually a few people mattered now.

"Fine, I won't smoke anymore." Shinichi sighed, placing the lighter down. Looking over at the female, he could see her relax slightly but the frown still remained on her face. Nana Osaki is her name. She is the lead singer of their band, Black Stones that he is the bass guitarist for. The members were himself, Nana, Yasu and Nobu. Then there is the other Nana, who has been dubbed as 'Hachi'. They all are like his family.

But the ones who he feels closer to are Nobu and Hachi. Nobu is like the brother he never had, since his own brother wasn't much of a brother to him. And Hachi, despite her only being six years older than him, Shinichi thinks of her as his mother. She can be clumsy and self-centered at times but she has a motherly way about her that drew him in. Shinichi even refers to her as his mother, which doesn't bother Hachi one bit.

Even though he is a part of a band now and living on and off with Nobu, Shinichi still sells his body for money. He tried to stop, even Hachi tried to talk him out of that type of lifestyle and Nana. At seeing the concern face of Hachi, it almost made him want to stop. Deep down inside he knew that it was the right thing to do but he couldn't get himself to do it.

Turning his attention away from Nana, he leaned his back against the couch. His head went back, gazing up at the white ceiling.

His life, was nothing but dysfunctional just like his real family. Prostitution, drugs, women, men and sex, it's all his life really seemed to circle around.

It was the dirty truth of his life.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel but he refused to enter the light. Fear, it's what lurked inside his heart. It's what keeping him from going beyond the tunnel. Sure he has his friends who he deeply cares about now but he is still in that rut.

"I'm going to head to the store," Nana eyed Shinichi curiously. "Are you going to be okay here by yourself until I get back?"

Lifting his head, he pouted childishly. "I am fully capable of staying alone. I've been doing it for quite some time now, Nana." He exclaimed.

The short black haired female flinched, "I'm sorry…I didn't—"

Shinichi leaned his head back against the couch, closing his eyes. "It's okay. Don't apologize. Nobu and Hachi will be here shortly anyways. I'll be fine." He reassured her.

She nodded her head and headed out the door leaving the spiky haired teen alone in the one bedroom apartment. It was Nobu's place but he took Hachi out on a date leaving him and Nana alone. Well now it's just him. Not that he minds it.

His mind floated to Reira. He thought he had finally found love with her but she's in love with another. He couldn't get himself to continue seeing her when he was getting hurt in the process. In Shinichi's mind, she is just confused. She doesn't know what she want's yet, going back and forth from him to Takumi.

It was her that ruined Hachi's and Takumi's marriage. And the worst part about it she didn't seem to care. That's the moment that Shinichi decided to let her go.

Every now and then, the girl would contact him but he would just ignore her. The teen didn't want to be bothered with her anymore. And because of this, his life turned upside down. It's when he met Ryouko; he was surprised in her striking resemblance to Reira. But it was her that taught Shinichi bad things. Because of her he was put under arrest because of the drugs.

The words 'still a child' would be repeatedly heard in his mind. He hasn't yet fully grown up. Sure he is mature but he still has a long road ahead of him.

Sighing softly, Shinichi lifted his head and turned his attention to the door. It opened revealing Nobu and Hachi.

"Where is Nana?" Hachi asked, looking around the apartment for her friend.

"She left to the store almost an hour ago. But she isn't back yet, so she probably went to go visit Yasu." He explained, pulling himself up. A widened childlike smile appeared on his face, "So how was the date?"

Nobu and Hachi both blushed causing Shinichi chuckle. They really did deserve each other. "I'm assuming that means it went well," He smiled.

Hachi walked towards the taller male, petting the top of his head. "Have you eaten yet, Shin-chan?"

He relaxed under her touch. Hachi truly made him happy. If only his real mother treated him with such concern like Hachi does. "I have eaten. Thanks for your concern." Shinichi smiled warmly at her. Looking behind her, he watched as Nobu walked into his room. Most likely he wanted Hachi to follow, which only meant one thing.

Grabbing Hachi by her shoulder he pushed her into the direction of Nobu's room, despite her embarrassment.

Once the two were out of sight, Shinichi smiled. Although his friends knew little about his life they didn't know the full truth. He was afraid of telling them but he knew they wouldn't abandon him.

But sometimes is easier to run to hide from the pain.

It's the truth of his life, something he has been desperately trying to escape with no avail.

Gazing over at the picture frame on the coffee table, it was a picture of him and the others during the fireworks. A smile graced his features. Maybe…just maybe his friends are the light at the end of the tunnel that he needs to reach. Hope is yet to come.