Mama Zarana

Author's note: Another plot bunny bites the dust, this time in multi-chapter form. A big thanks to L1701E for beta-reading this chapter and for greatly contributing to the ones that are to follow this. That, and for letting me use his characters in this story. You rock, man!

Summary: Life as they know it for both G.I. Joe and the Dreadnoks gets turned upside down when Zarana finds out she's having Mainframe's baby.

Chapter 1: I'm Late! I'm Late!

Zarana hadn't quite been able to figure out why, but she knew she felt like crap. That run-down, snippy mood had hung around for several days now, and it was starting to annoy her. At first, she thought if she ignored it, it would go away. But in the last week, it had only gotten worse. It also succeeded in making her nauseous, which was yet again odd because no-one else in the house seemed to be sick. Not the Dreadnoks, not the kids…heck, even the animals seemed to be fine!

"Hey, 'Rana, what day was that vet appointment?" Andi asked, drawing the female Dreadnok out of her own thoughts and back into reality. "Was it Monday? Because Spike was supposed to be over to film that PSA on Monday, and Brownie needs her shots…"

"Hang on; let me look at the calendar." The woman answered as the teenage shapeshifter behind her tapped her foot impatiently. You'd have thought that two years of ninja training would have improved on that…

"No…" She whispered once she got a good look at the calendar. No, no, no. That was impossible. They'd been so careful.

"Well?" Andi asked, yet again interrupting without realizing it.

"It's on Tuesday." Zarana answered, suddenly growing paler. "I gotta go do something. Keep an eye on the others until I get back."

"Are you okay?" The blond girl asked, her facial expression and cocked head showing concern. "You look like you just saw a ghost."

"I'll be okay." The pink-haired woman shook her head, walking toward the garage door. "Just watch things here while I'm gone."

Twenty minutes later, Zarana found herself pacing up and down the length of the girls' bathroom trying to figure out just how the hell this could have happened. Okay, she knew how it happened. The timing matched up too well for her to doubt it. But good grief, they'd been doing this for, what, the last ten years now? Nothing like this had happened before.

~Maybe you tempted fate one too many times. ~ She thought, running her hand through her short hair. God, how was he going to react to this?

"Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself." She sighed. "It could be the flu. Or some other virus. Or maybe…" A sidelong glance at the bathroom wall clock told her enough time had passed. She looked nervously over at a small white stick lying on the bathroom counter.

"Ah, hell!" She swore. "This is exactly what I didn't need right now!" Without even bothering to hide the test, she rushed back out of the bathroom and barreled out to the garage and her bike. She needed to see him about this now!

Mainframe had been more preoccupied with monitoring the Pit's security systems than was with checking his cell phone, but that didn't mean he didn't hear it ringing. He glanced down at the phone, instantly recognizing the number and feeling relieved that no one else was in the room with him right now. "I'm kind of in the middle of working here." He told the woman on the other end of the phone. "Can't this wait?"

"No." She answered. "I need to talk to you now, Blaine. It's important."

"More important than my job and the possibility of jail time?" The Joe computer expert blinked. He loved her, he really did, but sometimes her priorities could get a little out of line.

"Let me put it this way, it's the most important thing we've ever had to talk about." She said. "Please? How soon can you get away and where do you need me to meet you?"

"You already teleported here, didn't you?" He groaned. That was another thing that could potentially get him in trouble; knowing that the Dreadnoks actually had a teleporter of their own and not telling anyone about it. Of course, the Misfits had figured that out during a fight with Virus, but still, if word got out, he'd be in huge trouble with Hawk.

"I'm in town, yes." She answered. "Don't give me that look! I'm not actually *on* the Pit, thank you!"

"Whoa, 'Rana, calm down!" He backtracked. She usually wasn't this snippy with him. "I'll find a way to meet up with you, okay? Is that coffee shop okay with you?"

That got an annoyed sigh. "Fine." She said. "Just hurry up! I don't have long before someone figures out I'm missing."

"Okay. I'll ask Dial Tone to take over while I go out for lunch." He said, wondering just why she was acting so…not like herself. "I'll see you in twenty minutes."

"Okay." She said, now sounding much more content. "Just don't get distracted on the way here."

"Can't afford to with you, Zarana." He grinned. "I gotta go ask off. See you soon."

"Bye." She said just before the line went dead.

Mainframe spent the entirety of his ride into town trying to figure out just what on Earth could be so important that she needed to see him in the middle of the day. Did she have important information about the next Cobra plot? Could she possibly want to finally leave Cobra and join the Joes?

Okay, that was being facetious. She loved her job, and he knew it. She hadn't been happy about being one of Shadowatch's handlers at first, but now, two and a half years later, it was something she quite enjoyed. God knew those kids needed a den mother…even if she wasn't anything like June Cleaver.

When he got to the coffee shop, he found her sitting inside with a bottle of water in front of her. Again, that was odd. She normally took coffee over water if she had the choice. "Hey, are you okay?" He asked as he walked up. Green eyes looked up to meet his.

"Not really." She confessed, a terrified expression on her face. "That's kind of what I needed to talk to you about…"

A world of terrifying possibilities started flying around in his brain. She was sick? That wasn't good. Could she be dying right now? Wanting to see him one last time before…

God, he needed to stop reading those romance novels Airtight kept leaving around.

"You don't look so good." He noticed the way she looked paler than usual. "I can probably sneak you in to see Doc or Lifeline if you want…

"No!" She exclaimed, then seemed to calm herself back down. "I mean, I don't think there's anything that can be done about this. Not like it can be fixed."

"Then tell me what I can do to help." He said, pulling his chair up next to hers and sitting in it. "There has to be something…"

"Not this time, Blaine." She offered him a weak smile. "But I guess it's not exactly bad news…just inconvenient."

Now he was completely confused. "I don't understand." He told her, his left hand resting itself on her shoulder. "What's wrong? You can tell me!"

"Well, I would have to anyway, wouldn't I?" She made a wry smile before her already pale face took on a gray-green tint. Without warning, she shot up and bolted for the bathroom. He followed behind her and waited patiently on the other side of the door. The tell-tale sounds of someone getting sick and a flushing toilet were heard.

No way was she getting out of a visit to the infirmary now. "Zarana?" He knocked on the door, then tried the handle. Finding she hadn't locked it behind her, he let himself in. She looked up tiredly at him from the sink, which she seemed to cling to for dear life.

"Didn't your parents teach you not to barge into the ladies' room?" She asked, sounding every bit as exhausted as she looked.

"Not now." He said, coming up behind her and wrapping an arm gently around her waist. "We're taking you to the infirmary."

Well, that got a reaction. Wide, scared eyes stared back at him. "No! No, I can't…"

"You're not exactly in a position to protest, now are you?" he asked. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure Lifeline can keep this quiet.

"He'd better do a damn good job of it." She growled. "Because there is no way in hell I'm going to have our baby in jail."

It was his turn to panic now. He stared wide-eyed, his mouth opening and closing much like a goldfish's, before he finally found his voice again. "Baby?" He asked, his voice going up an octave higher. "You're pregnant?"

She nodded back. "Took a home test this morning." She muttered. "What do we do?" He could feel her shaking as he held her. His mind was a swirl of different concerns and worries. How would he go about explaining this? Would he even be given time to explain before someone (be it one of his teammates or one of her brothers) decided what they had done warranted his suffering and/or death?

"For one thing, we are not going to stay here all day." He said, glancing around at the small lavatory. Yeah…not the place to be having this conversation. "I think other people might want to use the bathroom too."

A faint blush crept onto her cheeks. "Yeah." She looked at the floor as she leaned onto him.

"I'm not gonna let you fall." He reassured her as he slowly walked her back out. "But we are still going to pay Lifeline a visit, and don't say no!" He admonished. "It's just to be on the safe side…please?" Okay, he was begging now, but whether she caved or not, she would still be going. It just wouldn't be by her own choice.

"I want to be mad, but I just don't have the energy right now." She glared up at him.

"Good. It means we can get you into the infirmary without a fight." He said. ~Oh, Lifeline is just going to love this!~ he thought.

Lifeline couldn't seem to decide whether he should be angry or amused with the reason Mainframe sneaked Zarana into the infirmary. On the one hand, what the two of them had been doing was incredibly stupid and a breach of National Security. Once Hawk got wind of this, there would be hell to pay.

But still…this whole situation was a bit comical. According to the pair of star-crossed lovers, they had been sneaking around for the better part of at least ten years now, possibly even longer. And nobody knew about it! Not Hawk, not Trinity, not Cobra High Command—no one. At least, no one who wasn't a blood relative.

"I don't know how you two managed to keep this under wraps for this long," The frowning medic said, arms folded across his chest, "but that's all going to stop now."

"You think we don't know that?" She glared at him. Zarana had been extremely nervous from the moment Mainframe brought her through the door, and didn't show any signs of calming down. Then again, between sneaking into enemy territory and the pregnancy hormones, he didn't expect her to. "It's probably going to be all over both bases by sundown!"

Which was quite possibly the reason why Mainframe wasn't looking all that much better. He didn't just have to deal with Hawk's wrath and Juggler politics on this one. Oh no! He got to try to explain to Zarana's rather protective brothers why they shouldn't chop him up into little pieces and leave said pieces by the front door of the Pit. "So…"

Lifeline sighed. "Yes, Mainframe, it's true. Although I'm not sure if I should offer you two my congratulations or ask you what you were thinking."

"I want to know why now." Zarana grumbled. "It's not like we did anything different this time than any other."

"There could be any number of reasons, but the most likely one is that sometimes that little pill just doesn't do its job. I'm amazed you two have gone this long without at least a scare before now. " The medic sighed, hearing footsteps outside. "I suggest you two find somewhere to hide quickly."

A nearby curtained-off cot proved to be the only readily available hiding place. The two lovers both jumped up on the cot behind the curtain as Lifeline waited nervously to find out who was coming toward the med lab.

The door swung open, revealing the blonde, shapely form of his own wife, Bree. "Well, turns out the Misfits didn't need any looking after." She began to launch into a tale of whatever the reason was she'd been called out to Misfit Manor, but stopped once she noticed his odd expression. "Is something wrong, honey?"

"Close that door and I just might tell you." Her husband stated. Although confused, the nurse complied.

"Why would it matter whether the door's open or shut?" She inquired. "Is someone in here?" It was odd of Lifeline to be so particular about the door…

"You have to promise to keep this quiet." Lifeline told her. "Patient confidentiality, you understand."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Just tell me what's going on here." Bree exclaimed as Lifeline looked back at the curtain. For a moment, he seemed to debate over whether or not it was safe, but then…

"Okay. You two can come back out now." He called. Slowly the curtain slid back and for the first time, Bree got a look at just what was happening.

"Mainframe? And…Zarana? What's she doing here?" She asked, looking over at her husband while Zarana ran over to a nearby sink and vomited.

"It seems that those two have been sneaking around for a while." He told her softly as Mainframe haphazardly tried to help his girlfriend. "And it's finally caught up with them."

If Bree's eyebrows hadn't been attached to her head, they might have achieved orbit. "You mean she's pregnant?" She asked. He nodded. "And Mainframe's the father?" Another nod. "Oh, Ace is going to die when he hears this! It's the best betting opportunity he's had in months!"

Lifeline blinked a moment at that comment. He hadn't even considered that! "This is true…but I'm more worried about how Hawk's going to react. You know as well as I do that he's not going to like this."

"Neither will Beach Head or our resident ninjas." She reminded him. "And then there's the matter of her family…"

"I think they knew about the sleeping around, but not about the baby…yet." Lifeline figured. "I'm sure it won't take long for them to put it all together. Although I'm not sure whether or not they'll bother telling High Command…"

"You're getting a bit ahead of yourself." She reminded him. "First we have to get her out of here before anyone else finds her."

"Just get me back to my bike, and I can teleport back to Chicago." Zarana panted, having overheard the last part of the conversation. Lifeline fixed her with a stern glare.

"Oh no. There is no way I'm letting you anywhere near one of those death-traps in your condition." He told. "I can arrange to have you taken back to Chicago, but you're not getting on that bike for a long time."

"Well, It's gonna look right suspicious if I show up without it." She argued.

"How about if I drive it back for her?" Mainframe offered. "That way everyone's happy."

"Except that I can't teleport back into the shop with you." She countered. "The road outside's no big deal, but there's too many people watching in there."

Oh, right. There was that whole 'reality show being filmed in your garage' thing to deal with. "Then take her close enough so that she can walk the darn thing in. I don't care. Just don't let her drive it." Lifeline ordered Mainframe, who offered a mock salute.

"Yes sir!" The medic groaned and ran a hand down his face while his wife commenced to giggling in the background.

"Be careful, you two." She grinned as the pair left in the same stealthy manner with which they came.

"I think that warning came just a bit late, Brittany." Lifeline looked over at her.

"Oh, don't be so serious about it!" Bree chuckled. "I think this could be a good thing."

"Yeah. Keep telling yourself that when we have to lock Mainframe up in the brig for fraternizing with a known enemy."

"Ed, I don't think her heart's been in it for a while." His wife said softly. "You'll see. This will all turn out for the better." He sighed heavily.

"Then why do I get the feeling that the worst is yet to come?"