Author's Note: Hello, everybody. This was first attempt at writing a self-insert fan-fiction. I was inspired by several people on who all made great self-inserts such as iNf3ctioNZ, Herr Wozzeck, and Sarge1995. I would like to thank these people for helping inspire me to try and do this, and for entertaining me to no end. Thanks guys.

On a much bigger note, I am cleaning up earlier chapters of The Odd Ones Out to my current standards. Looking back to my old work on , I find it extremely cringe-worthy in terms of writing quality. I hope you guys enjoy my efforts at improving on my old work.

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Hi, so... where should I start?

Where CAN I start?

Well, I guess none of this will matter unless I start by telling you about us.

I'm Sean, a nobody from Maryland who, like the rest of my friends, were plunged deep into a intergalactic merry-go-round of pain, confusion, fright, bad-assery, and about every other word or phrase you can think of relating to a galactic odyssey. I led my misfit band of rag-tag friends against the might of the Reapers, and it turns out we actually won.

I'm not going to spoil that though. That wouldn't be any fun now, would it? Back on topic, my second in command, Thomas... well he and I go together like tilework, considering we've both known each other since childhood. Keen eyes, keen intellect, and a friendship that'll outshine most others, he'll keep your back covered and cleared of hostiles.

Our good'old demolitions "expert" Allen... well, the first word you think of when his name enters your head is "asshole." While he has a hard-headed attitude, he secretly has a heart of gold. Plain and simple, those who can stand to be around him, he will defend with his life, with or without the use of high-explosive ordinance. Violent ginger.

Now, Weigman, Sydney and John... they didn't show up until after the assault on Saren's Virmire base. Before their arrival, it would seem they found things about the same way as we did. Missing pets, family members, personal documents, I still have no clue how those bastards did all of that.

Damn, there I go off-topic again. Back to the rest of the team.

Weigman... we had plenty of names for our resident hand-to-hand specialist, the most common being "The Ninja" or "The Scary Guy With The Hood." Whatever you call him, Weigman lives up the the asian stereotype of being an absolute bad-ass in close quarters. I mean, he pulled all the stops in terms of scary, even putting an end to that cerberus bastard...

Oops, too much info! OK, well Sydney was the only chick from our side of the abyss that joined us. She had two, kinda important tasks she was in charge of, being both the ship's pilot and our sawbones. She never had to actually saw any of our bones, but she made sure we survived the worst of what we went through, usually with a large dose of medi-gel.

Now John... I suppose you could call him our "jack of all trades John may still hold the ship's record for most times shot, but that doesn't mean he's useless. John mostly helped work around the ship, keeping everything held together when Tali wasn't around. When not doing that, he usually busied himself working on our rust colored "Loki mech."

Well, that's the roster for you... I guess I'll start the story now. We were on the way to my house after another boring day in high school, talking about this movie we had just watched...

That was almost 30 years ago...

...

"Come on, you have to admit the battle scenes were pretty cool." Allen argued, poking Thomas with his elbow.

"The action scenes were cool, but the story didn't make any sense. It's like they did all the action scenes, but forgot to add a story." Thomas complained, rubbing his side. "And stop prodding me..."

"The story told you all you needed to know, Thomas. Aliens are invading to steal our natural resources. What else did you expect from it, especially with it being told in a military point-of-view anyway?" I ranted, looking between them both. "It was a shoot-the-aliens movie, nothing more, nothing less."

"Yeah, I guess your right." Thomas agreed, looking off at a few of the houses we passed daily.

"Ha ha ha ha, I love seeing you get knocked down a notch, Thomas" Allen teased, poking Thomas once again.

"Screw you, Allen!" Thomas said, stopping and glaring at him. "I don't know why you have to be such a di-"

"Hey hey, calm down, you guys!" I stopped. "It's just a movie, no need to get all excited."

They both looked at me, then to each other.

"Yeah, whatever..." Thomas remarked bitterly, looking away from Allen.

"Don't worry, it's all for the lolz." Allen said with a smile, giving Thomas a heavy pat on the shoulder.

I simply shrugged, holding in a big laugh as we continued walking to my place.

"Man, I can't imagine what these two would do without me." I thought to myself with the widest grin in the world.

"Hey, did you guys watch that new Mass Effect 3 trailer that Bioware released?"Allen started, breaking the silence,

"Yeah, the one with that sniper guy in Big Ben, right?" Thomas said.

"Yeah!" Allen shouted. "So the Reapers are finally going to attack Earth, and good old' Commander Shepard has to stop them! What is there not to be excited about?"

"Meh, it was OK, but it didn't do a whole lot for me. I guess that's why they call them teaser trailers." I said, slumping at the thought of waiting.

"Aww, come on! Didn't your hear that it's coming out this winter? You should be excited!" Thomas said, actually trying to cheer me up.

"I know it comes out this winter, it's just that I hate waiting for things." I replied, looking back at him.

"Yeah, but for now, we still have Dead Space 2 and Halo, right?" Allen said with a grin plastered on his mug.

"Of COURSE you choose the two games you kick my ass at the most to use as examples, don't you?" I glared, as Thomas gave a similar look to Allen.

"Well, umm..." Allen stuttered, before looking back ahead.

"That's what I thought." I shot back, as we continued moving.

"Man, your no fun." Allen whined, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Only with you, Allen. Only with you." Thomas shot back.

"Well, that's not completely true." I admitted, walking backwards as to face them. "I can be short with Weigman as well."

"Weigman... pah." Allen exclaimed, smiling. "Where are those three, anyways?"

"I think they're heading over Weig's place to study for that Astronomy final." Thomas said, looking back at him. "I think."

"They should really come over and play some videogames for a change, they have no idea what they're missing out on..." Allen pondered, looking down the street.

"For once, you and I agree on something." Thomas quipped with a wide smile, as we marched on.

...

When we had reached my house, I was greeted with eerie silence as I knocked on the front door.

"That's odd, don't your parents usually wait for you to come home before leaving to go shopping?" Thomas asked, attempting to look through one of the porch windows.

"Yeah, that would be the case, but their car is still on the street." I said, taking my keys out of my pocket and unlocking the door. I expected to be greeted by three loving lab retrievers, only to be met with even more silence.

This was wrong, and I didn't waste time trying to find an explanation.

"OK, there is something seriously wrong here." I said out-loud, looking at Allen and Thomas. "OK, we need to find out if I was robbed or something. Allen, check the basement, Thomas, check this floor. I'll go upstairs."

They both silently followed my instructions, as I ran up the stairs. Nothing looked broken or stolen, until I went into my dad's office. Almost all of his files, things involving taxes, finances, even his police diploma were missing. Same for the things involving my mother.

"Hey Sean, I found something!" Allen shouted from downstairs, as I grabbed my dad's old 22. revolver and stuck it inside my backpack in case of an emergency.

"What did you find?" I asked, as Thomas gave a similar look to him.

"I don't know, come look." He said, waving with his hand as we descended.

Right in the middle of my room was a small, orb shaped object emitting a rainbow of different colors. I was intimidated, because the electronics in my room were turning on and off randomly.

"It kinda looks like your mom's tie-dye, Sean" Allen commented, keeping his distance.

"You and I remember my mom's tie-dye incident very differently." I said with no humor, inching closer to the orb.

"What do you think it is? I've never seen anything like that before." Thomas asked, standing closer to Allen in an attempt to keep his distance.

"Now how am I supposed to know?" I asked, staring at the little orb.

As I stare at the orb, I begin to feel almost compelled to touch it, it's insides churning like a nebula being consumed by a black hole.

"Sean, what the fuck are you doing?" Allen asked with wide eyes, as I reach down and swipe the orb off the floor.

It feels warm in my palm for a couple of seconds before a screeching pain begins to fill my head, almost knocking me off my center of balance. The same starts happening to Thomas and Allen, as they grab their heads and collapse onto the floor in pain.

I look up at the orb, which was now spinning at incomprehensible speeds. As I reach up to try and do something to stop the pain, I begin to see my fingers turning into dust. Then my arm.

As my nerves are ripped apart, I look back to see the exact same is happening to Allen and Thomas. I give up my struggle as my limbs disappear, leaving this terrifying force to do it's work with the rest of my body.

My last thoughts before I lost consciousness?

Eh, all I remember is the pain. Kinda sad, when you think about it.