This is the song I only sing when you're sleeping. These are the words I say when you can't hear me. This is the way I look when you can't see me. And you will never know.

Lloyd Confesses His Love

She was there but she wasn't there.

She was so quiet that if she had been anyone else, he might forget she was there sometimes. Instead, she niggled at him, and when he looked into her blank eyes, it wasn't niggling as much as it was piercing, like a sword or a dagger or...

To put it in succinct terms, if he thought forgetting to do his homework was bad, this was much, much worse.

When he had first arrived in Tethe'alla, he tried talking to her. Even though under normal circumstances, he would never have had a desire to come to this strange new country, he liked it, in a way. The landscape was foreign. Even the stars were foreign. Colette would have found this all very fascinating.

So he spoke to her. "Colette? We're in Tethe'alla! Can you tell?"

Silence. Emptiness. Nothingness.

Once again, Lloyd felt a familiar dagger scraping at his heart. Just like that, all of the adventure was sucked out of Tethe'alla, as did the excitement in his heart.

He exhaled, but the frustration wasn't as eager to leave his chest as the air was.

"... It's no use. She just doesn't respond at all."

And that was where the situation stood.

"Maybe you should try telling her you love her," Genis suggested.

Lloyd stopped. He always listened to his best friend's advice, but on this particular occasion it seemed incomprehensible to him.

"... What? Why?" Was it magic? Could that be it?

Genis rolled his eyes. "Oh, you're so dense. Stop asking questions and just try it."

Well, this was awkward. Lloyd glanced at Genis, who looked curious and eager for some reason, and then at Colette, whose expression happened to be the exact opposite of Genis's. He took a deep breath.

"Uh... um..." This was surprisingly difficult, for some reason. Those three words seemed nearly impossible to spit out. "I love you!"

Lloyd looked at Genis.

Genis looked at Colette.

Colette still didn't seem to have any pupils to speak of. It made it kind of hard to tell what she was looking at.

Silence.

Lloyd could feel that the awkwardness of the situation was highly tangible. In fact, he could even perceive that it had compounded itself tenfold within the last millisecond or so.

"Oh well," Genis sighed in a way that made Lloyd suspect he was doing so primarily to distract himself from the awkwardness. "I guess if that was all it took to bring her back to normal, we wouldn't be coming all the way out here to Tethe'alla."

That was then everything clicked in Lloyd's mind.

'I love you' wasn't magic. It was just Genis's way of teasing him. Suddenly, he was almost glad Colette was soulless. Being told 'I love you' would only have embarrassed her. Right?

"Genis!" He then proceeded to subject his best friend to some very tough love indeed.

"Owww..." was Genis's sole response.

Lloyd knew in the back of his mind, of course, that what he said didn't matter. He would bring Colette back, with or without words.

But Genis still deserved that friendly kick in the shins nonetheless.

In spite of the onslaught of emotions he felt inside of him, the only thing he could say to Colette when she was herself again was "welcome back". She seemed not to mind, though.

Colette had been much less of a klutz when she lacked a soul, so it was a relief in a way when she accidentally tripped over a rock one day. It wasn't such a relief when she somehow ended up on top of him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Lloyd!" she squeaked. What was a relief was to hear her apologize again, even though it was awkward and she was crushing his lungs.

"You dork! Can't... breathe...!" he gasped. But he felt so giddy and so relieved that in spite of himself he began to grin.

And that was all it took to make Colette burst out into giggles.

Colette spoke to him one day as they walked along. "Say, Lloyd."

"Yeah? What is it, Colette?"

She peered at him with blue eyes shining thoughtfully. "I never properly thanked you for saving me."

"Oh, it's okay. It's good to see you back!"

She smiled – quietly, demurely.

"... Thank you, Lloyd."

He looked at her, almost startled by her gratitude. Because the moment those words left her lips, he felt the sudden, emphatic urge to pull her into an embrace so tight that she could never, ever slip away from him again.

He was so used to acting on his impulses that it surprised him when he did not put his arms around Colette.

"We're friends," he told her with a smile. "It's what friends do!"

"Yep!" she chirped and, almost imperceptibly, she drew even closer to him. "You fought so hard for me. It made me very happy. I only wish I could do something for you too."

"Just... stay happy!" he suggested lamely. "And, uh, eat your vegetables!"

"Right!"

Again, he felt the urge to hug her, to show her through actions just how glad he was that she had come back to him. He realised why he was so unwilling to do that at the same time.

It was... awkward, wasn't it? When he thought about it (and that took a whole lot of energy), it actually was a bit of an achievement to say 'I love you' to someone, especially if that someone was as important to him as Colette was. The problem was that he could still see her as a blank slate behind her smile of old. And saying 'I love you' to a blank slate was not only embarrassing, it hurt as well. It was actually terrifying in a way.

He watched her out of the corner of his eye when she excused herself and went to chat with Sheena. The two of them were smiling as they talked to each other. Watching the two girls smile so radiantly, Lloyd felt strangely detached from it all. He was not sure he could say 'I love you' to Colette again.

He sighed and shook his head to himself.

"It's no use," he muttered.

"Maybe you should try telling her you love her," a young boy's voice suggested slyly behind him. "It'll definitely work this time."

As it turned out, Genis had been walking behind him the entire time.

Lloyd kicked him in the shin.

When it was his turn to keep guard when they camped out for the night, he tried not to let his mind drift, but sometimes, he glanced towards Colette in her sleeping bag. She seemed so small and defenceless when she slept.

He didn't realise he was staring as she opened her eyes. It was only when her bright sapphire eyes locked onto his that he realised what he was doing.

Before he could look away, he noticed her sleeping bag rustle slightly in movement. She smiled and put a finger to her lip. No talking. The others are asleep.

He smiled and nodded before glancing around the camp's leafy backdrop. The dying campfire cast long, flickering shadows across the nearby trees, although try as he might, Lloyd could not sense anyone's presence from beyond the boundaries. Everyone was safe right now.

He heard more rustling from Colette's direction. Colette emerged from her sleeping bag and sat down beside him on the grass.

He blinked, gazed at her.

She reached for his hand. He offered it to her.

With one finger, she began to trace words on his palm, just like she had when she had lost her voice.

Are you all right, Lloyd?

Lloyd traced a message of his own on her palm. Why do you ask?

You are very kind. You don't want to be a burden so you keep things to yourself sometimes.

Same to you!

Colette smiled.

We're both dorks, she traced, and giggled quietly so that she wouldn't wake the others up.

He had to bite his tongue to stifle his own laughter. We must have infected each other somehow!

Then we must search hard to find an antidote. Maybe the Professor knows one!

That was the Colette he knew so well – always taking everything literally.

He had no retort in mind and could only keep clutching her hand, chuckling inwardly. Out of the corner of his eyes, he noticed her eyes, how brightly they shone even in the night. She was enjoying this moment just as much as he was.

Again, he was struck by the sheer depth of his feelings. He had missed so much about her... too much.

Gingerly, he retracted his hand and was glad that he had no obligation to hold conversation because if he did, he would suddenly have become tongue-tied.

He had to remind himself that even though he cared very much for Colette and wanted desperately to see her remain safe, she wasn't the only reason why he was on this journey. It was because she was that important to him as a person and not simply as the Chosen that he made so many sacrifices for her sake. Simply saying something like 'I love you' had failed to change anything, but maybe... maybe feeling it had.

He felt Colette's soft and small hands nudge his shoulder. Feeling as if her touch had sent something tingling and warm trickling down his spine, he turned to her and smiled.

Accepting the non-verbal invitation, she began to trace one more message on his hand.

So will you tell me?

He paused and took the opportunity to look into her eyes. He thought he could see a tiny reflection of himself in there. He shifted his seating position slightly towards Colette and then, with a minute shake of his head, he shifted back away again.

He grabbed her hand.

Maybe later, he traced.

Even as he watched her, he saw the slight disappointment settle into her eyes. But mostly, she was still smiling.

You've already told me.

A pause. She lowered her eyes as she continued to write. Practice had made her quick at tracing words on his hand, but this time, she was slow and deliberate, almost hesitant.

I heard you the first time.

Author's note: This fic is dedicated to doroniasobi. Thank you so much for supporting me and putting up with me and my awful writing for all this time. You're the Rhyme to my Beat, the Colette to my Lloyd. Also, thanks goes to my beta reader for this fic, Forever New Yorker, who received and edited this fic in record time. Beta readers are amazing people!