I knew the moment I kissed her she would understand how I felt, and I had hoped she felt the same too.

–

October 17, 2010.

It was average day at the park. We swung on the swings, we jumped around, and we screamed. A lot. She was going out with this girl she liked. Deena. She was nice and all, we were even friends. Best friends even. I was talking to Rocky, and telling her how the first time I made out with a guy it was terrible. She was saying she'd teach me and show me, I was kinda confused when she said that. Did it mean she was going to make out with me? If it did, I was excited.

"Rocky, I'm not going to kiss you if you're going out with someone." I kept telling her. I didn't wanna seem like a slut, or a home wrecker, even though she's not married. I just didn't want to be the "other woman."

She left home after I told her that. It was when we got off the bus. We'd flirt a lot, but I never thought it meant anything. I never knew she liked me.

I was sitting down, laying in the grass just talking to Deuce. We weren't that close back then. He was just my fattie that was hilarious. Rocky's brother Ty was walking by since they lived right across the street from the bus stop. He was heading to his friends house. He was like twenty yards away and yelled "ROCKY BROKE UP WITH DEENA!"

I couldn't believe my ears. The moment I had been waiting for. My heart started to pound faster and faster with every beat going faster than the other. Before I told Rocky I wasn't going to kiss her since she was seeing Deena, I told her she was probably cheating on her. Deena was kind of a slut, and she flirted a lot. I knew Rocky knew Alexis was probably cheating on her too, and she never said anything until I told her. "Why are you even with her if you think she's doing that?" I asked her.

She didn't know the answer.

Ty jogged the rest of the way all across the park to his friends house.

"Deuce! Tell Rocky to come to the park." I said excitedly.

Deuce called Rocky, telling her I wanted to come to the park. She came back. At first we were just flirting. Rocky was kinda into sports back then, before we were on Shake it Up Chicago. She really like football.

"Okay, if I hit the light pole, I get to kiss you, okay?" How cute, she was so determined.

I laughed, "Ha okay."

She missed. "Okay, I get three more tries."

"What! Your such a cheater!" I smiled and watched her try again.

She missed all three tries again."Okay I hit it!" Lie.

"Oh wow haha, not even!" I laughed a little and pushed my hair back. "You're just ridiculous."

6:27 pm

I didn't kiss her. I wasn't ready for it. But since I hadn't, when the rest of our friends were there, she wasn't talking to me. She was mad that I wouldn't kiss her. I don't get it. If she loved me, she wouldn't be mad and try to pressure me to do it.

7:20

Everyone else left and it was just Rocky and I, okay and Deuce and his "friend."

This "friend" he had, he was whoring around with. He already had a girlfriend, but he was supposedly in love with both of them. Believe it or not, Deuce had game. I had been there the whole time he was whoring around. He was my best friend and I was his. But I wasn't going to tell on him.. I was friends with all three of them of his love triangle. But man later on I felt bad when I told on him.. but that is not till later.

Rocky pulled me away to the table while they sat a couple of yards away on a bench. Kissing her was awkward.

First, I tried to kiss he sitting down. Fail. It was harder than I thought. I didn't put any lip gloss on, it was just going to be nice and clean.

"You're not putting any lip gloss on?" She questioned me.

"No haha why?" I asked.

"I dunno. All the girls I've kissed always do that before."

Well don't I feel special.

Rocky and I stood up. I think it was clear now that I liked her, and a slight chance she liked me.

We kissed. I don't know how everyone gets worked up about it. I did actually feel something though, I'm not sure what it was but, it was something.

Her lips were perfect. Soft and inviting. They were the only thing I had been staring at since she came back to the park.

One kiss for her wasn't enough though. She'd ask me every minute if she could have a kiss. And frankly, I'm a HUGE tease. Sure I just walk around school like an average person but, when I flirt, man I'm a major tease. I'll say I do things with them but I wont, only because I'm too shy to. Not because I don't want to, because I REALLY do.

"So are you gonna go out with her?" Deuce asked.

"Wait what? She didn't ask me." I said.

"Yeah I did, do you wanna be my girlfriend?"She said looking at me.

I laughed. Awkward moment. "Yeah," I said coolly.

Then we just sat there all together with her holding onto me, putting on music from her phone, "Break up to make up" played.

Well so far, this is ALL true about me life.. I'm gonna have to skip some parts of my real life because I don't remember all of it.. -.-

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