Hey, kids, I'm still alive and kickin'. Mostly. Here's the 'Tom gets what's coming to him' chapter, bwahahaha. The steamy chapter should be ready for uploading before too awful long as well. It's turning out longer than I expected. No, that's not a pun... What's that? It's already *been* awful long? Yeah... sorry about that. I know I've been MIA, but I have very good reasons! You see... oh... nevermind. You don't need to hear all that. Hope you enjoy this for now. I'm missing the fandom. Love to you all.

"Tom… Tom… wake up…"

Tom's eyes slowly opened and blinked. The face hovering above his startled him, his eyes flying wide as he recoiled from the unexpected sight. She was so close he could feel the breath accompanying her hushed voice.

"Tom! I need your help."

"Roxanne? …What… the hell are you doing here?" He tried to sit up, but her hands were on his shoulders, pinning him to the bed, her face still close enough he couldn't raise his head without ramming it into her nose. Grogginess weighed down his limbs and prevented him from rousing the strength to push her aside, but it didn't stop him from noticing the black shade of her lips, due to more than the darkness of the room, and her heavily outlined eyes. Her hair was swept back, standing on end. And the tall collar she wore looked very familiar. "What are you wearing?"

"I need your help, Tom," she whimpered, finally straightening, pushing away from him with unnecessary force and pacing away a few steps before turning back to plead, "Megamind's lost his mind. Totally over the edge! He's… he's scaring me!"

"You got yourself into this…"

"No! I'm telling you I need your help! You were right. Everything's been part of a plan to do horrible, evil things to the city, and he's about to put the plan into action. Tonight! I don't want to be part of this anymore!" Hearing Tom groan, she wrung her hands and added, "You have to get up and help me." With a nervous glance over her shoulder toward the door, she explained, "I know what he's going to do, and we might be able to stop him if we go right now… but he always has brainbots following me..."

"I'm not getting involved." Even though his curiosity was piqued and he felt a mean sense of satisfaction that she was finding out how wrong she'd been about the blue creep, he rolled over in bed, turning his back on her.

"You already are! If they find out I came here, they're going to come after you! Even after I leave. Come on! Hurry up! Get up!"

"Oh, thanks a lot," he griped as he began to flounder around, trying ungracefully to free himself from the sheets. The thought of Megamind's nasty, snapping cyborgs busting into his room gave him an unpleasant adrenaline rush. "Don't have a choice now, do I? What a way to spend my Friday night."

Roxanne refrained from pointing out the fact that he had already been asleep in bed. "I'm sorry, but you're the only one I could think of to turn to. You're the only one who hasn't bought into his story."

"Yeah, well, you sure did," the grumpy reporter groused, glancing over at her while he pulled his pants on. A long cape fell from her shoulders in heavy silken folds to nearly sweep the floor at the back of her stiletto-heeled boots. His eyes followed the vinyl, gleaming even in the barely lit room, up her shapely legs, past buckles and studs to the smooth pale skin of her thighs. Then a pair of skintight boy shorts and a wide studded leather belt rode low on her hips and above that more skin with a brief leather halter top showing a shocking amount of cleavage for a woman who was usually rather conservatively dressed. Without completely meeting in the middle, it was fastened across her bosom with shiny silver buckles. Roxanne's generous figure seemed about to burst the seams of the outfit that was crowned over all by a shorter version of the popped collar her alien partner sported.

Tom huffed, clearly unable to stop gawking. "What are you supposed to be? His dominatrix or his bitch?"

Roxanne's black lips pursed briefly before she answered. "He dressed me like this. So I could be his e-vil queen."

"Isn't that what you were planning anyway?"

"No! I thought he was really changing his life. I thought I was helping him."

Tom shook his head. "You need to wise up, Roxanne." As he bent to tie his shoes, he missed the crafty look that crossed Roxanne's face and cleared just as quickly as it had appeared. He stood up finally. "Ok, let's go." Pausing to look her up and down more openly, he asked, "You like dressing up like that?"

The answering expression on the reporter's face could have been a sneer or just the wrinkling of her nose. "Well, it's his style. I thought I'd get further with him if I just played along."

Tom began to think that if her new relationship wasn't working out, he might take the chance of seeing if she would dress that way for his amusement sometime. Owen hadn't published those photos yet. Maybe he could use them as leverage. "So… what am I supposed to do to save the day?"

"I'll explain on the way," she answered as they left.

In the car, Tom's steady stream of complaining about the lack of information she had to offer in answer to his questions about the secret evil plan grated on Roxanne's nerves. She would have liked to pull over and dump him in the street, but she needed him.

Seeing her handling the black, chrome-trimmed Hudson with easy familiarity had surprised him. "He lets you use his car, huh?"

"Oh yeah," she'd answered, eyes on the road.

Studying her as she drove, he had found the naughty outfit she wore more and more tantalizing. The way her breasts rose and fell with her breathing, threatening to spill over the tight top drew his eyes like a magnet. He reached over to place a hand lightly on the exposed stretch of leg above the long boot closest to him. "I know we've been at odds lately, Roxanne, but I am glad you came to me."

Roxanne's eyes widened slightly before she glanced sideways at her passenger. "I wasn't sure you'd help. Considering the way you've been treating me lately."

"Oh, come on now… If you think about it, you'll see I was trying to help you. Giving you a wake up call. I couldn't stand seeing you paired up with an ex-con. And one that apparently I alone could see was so obviously still conning everybody. And an alien! I mean, blue? It's just weird. I knew you'd get yourself in trouble."

"Get myself in trouble? I didn't get myself to the top of that statue. And then I almost died."

"Now, see," Tom chided, patting her leg. "You misunderstood that whole thing. When you were on that statue with Tighten, I was about to call for help and then come rescue you myself when he showed up. I had my hand on my phone. He just beat me to the punch and took the credit. I was there first."

"Taking photographs."

Tom finally withdrew his hand from her leg, leaving behind a searing impression that rapidly cooled. "Documentation. I wanted to show you those later so you could see for yourself what you'd been doing. You know, an outside perspective. Like an intervention." He clicked his tongue. "You just haven't been thinking straight ever since you got involved with Megamind, and you needed to see things my way. Objectively." Pausing, he insisted with quiet sincerity. "It was for your own good."

Still not having made much eye contact with him, Roxanne nodded slowly. "I see."

Tom reached out toward her bare arm. "You know… I still care about you." His fingers ran lightly down. "I've grown a lot as a person since you dumped me. And I know now I should've never let you go. That's why I put myself in danger to follow you that day. I really put myself on the line going there to help you."

"So kind of you, Tom," Roxanne murmured.

Tom looked at her stony face staring ahead at the road. Not getting through to her yet. I'll have to work on it. "So, when we get there, then what? You still haven't really told me what he's up to."

"Oh, when we get inside, you'll know exactly what he's doing."

They were nearing the lake, turning onto a street that ran down to an area of abandoned warehouses and the city's long defunct power plant. The car stopped in front of a massive, unlit building. Peering up at it through the windscreen, Tom was about to ask a question. "Is this hi-" But Roxanne has already briskly exited the car. He scrambled to open his door and follow her.

Passing without hesitation straight through a wall, Roxanne never paused to look back at her nervous guest, expecting him to keep up. Tom approached the wall and stopped, looking this way and that, then closed his eyes and plunged through as he'd seen her do.

"Wait!" he hissed as he found himself in a long dim hallway. Roxanne paused to look back. "We're just going to walk in? Isn't this his base? What if he sees me here?"

"Oh! No, this is just the staging area for the big plan!" She motioned in the air with her hands, then flapped one dismissively. "Don't worry," she assured him, the cape swishing behind her as she turned to continue walking. "He's not even here. He's… setting things up."

It was odd how her manner had shifted, more focused and confident as they neared Megamind's territory instead of worriedly wringing her hands and insisting she needed his help the way she had in his apartment. He remembered her concern that the brainbots might track her down and looked around hastily. "What about those flying… brain things?"

"Stick with me, and I don't think they'll bother you." She was striding on ahead of him boldly, not even bothering to try to keep to the deeper shadows as he was. Doesn't even know how to sneak into a place. Well, she's supposed to be here though. I'm not! Distracted by various evil-looking pieces of equipment and machinery he saw here and there, piles of dynamite, frighteningly complex contraptions, he was wishing he had a camera and lost sight of her as she rounded a corner. "Come on, Tom. Keep up. It's just up here." He scurried to catch up.

WHACK

As he rounded the corner, a heavy blow fell across the back of his neck. He crumpled to knees, dazed, the edges of his vision turning dark grey. "What the hell-"

"No, no. You need to hit him harder. Aim for the back of the head."

WHACK

Face down on the floor now, the tabloid reporter felt almost as much confusion as pain. Why was Roxanne talking to herself? His head spun in a most alarming manner. The floor seemed to be trying to buck him off, and the dark frame around his field of vision seeped forward, now accompanied by tiny pinpoints of flashing light.

"How was that?"

Just before the darkness closed in on him completely, he heard her again, the disembodied voice seeming to come from far away. "Perfect! Nice job." The blackness claimed him.

Tom felt irritated as he gradually regained consciousness. What was that... it didn't belong… someone was in his room, making strange, irritating noises. He felt he ought to recognize the sound but... couldn't quite place it. Quiet, familiar… intimate... Suddenly he knew he wasn't at home in bed. The sounds, the smells... this wasn't his apartment. He was confused for a moment, but he knew he needed to figure out where he was. He could hardly lift his eyelids, and they only parted enough to show he was in almost complete darkness before he closed them again with a grimace. Don't even care. Augh, my head! A steady beat pounded in his skull as though his brain was trying to jackhammer free of its boney covering accompanied at intervals by that low, infrequent clicking, rustling… breathing?… What is that?

He was warm at least, covered by something up to his neck. Attempting to lift his hand to rub his face, he found his arms and legs secured. The exploratory movements increased the intensity of the pain shooting through his head, so he stopped. He had no willpower to struggle yet anyway and so lay still, trying to puzzle out his situation, eyes still shut. He'd been asleep in bed… no… recalling the events of the evening, he finally remembered where he was and felt the first hint of fear.

The odd sound was so familiar… with an occasional creak and sigh… It annoyed him somehow that he knew what it was… but he couldn't identify it until he heard a barely audible hum followed by the unmistakable sound of whispering.

"… no chance of that…"

"… could have… you…"

"...mmm…"

Oh lord. That's… They're making out! Opening his eyes mere slits to peek out of, the lashes so low they blurred what little he could see, he caught sight of Roxanne and Megamind entwined near a bank of equipment punctuated with small blinking lights and buttons and levers. Looking into his eyes, her arms rested on his shoulders, cradling his oversized blue head while his hands encircled her waist, holding their bodies closely together. Tom saw the leather clad fingers begin to trail along the bare skin exposed at Roxanne's midriff, making her arch against him with a smile. As they began to kiss, his hands slid down to squeeze her ample rear. Tom expected to feel revolted by the sight of his ex-girlfriend sucking face with the evil blue freak, but… for some reason… he couldn't stop looking at the way they traded kisses and smoothly pressed themselves together, backed against the console. Roxanne sighed as Megamind bent his head to nuzzle down her neck to the full breasts pillowing over the top of her leather bustier.

She must be trying to make him think she's still on board with it. He was probably watching us come in the whole time. Really stupid, Roxanne. I knew you should have been more careful.

Watching the pair surrepitously, Tom told himself he buying time to think of a means of escape but the distraction they provided disrupted any actual planning. His jaw went slack as he continued to spy on the mildly pornographic display through lowered eyelids, keeping up his pretense of being unconscious. Man, she's really… doing a good job of faking.

As one pale pink fingernail began to stroke up and down the side of a fuschia-tinged blue ear, Tom barely heard, "Now, now… you know what that does to me... and I really do need to retain... mmm… some of my composure to…." The blue man made no attempt to stop the caresses though, and Tom saw Roxanne grin as she was pulled her even more tightly to him while he ravaged her neck with a growl, his voice muffled against her skin. "Oooh, sweetheart… I should have put you in leather long ago."

"Let's get this over with so we can go play," Roxanne whispered.

A throaty chuckle answered her as the pair locked eyes and their faces drew closer together until they shared another playful kiss. "There was something from last night I wanted to try again," Megamind mentioned.

Roxanne's smile shone in the dark, accented by her blackened lips as she teased, "I bet I know what it was…"

"Oh really?"

A heavy heat spread down Tom's legs watching the giggling television reporter squirm, a stifled laugh escaping her as her lover whispered his desires in her ear. Tension caught in his throat, making him swallow dryly. The black glove at her side slid upward, its thumb beginning to trace around the curving shape it cupped as Roxanne's throaty chuckle over the suggestions he was making turned to a moan. "Oooh, yes... I would like to try that again..." Tom nearly forgot about keeping up his pretense of being unconscious just as her gaze fell on him.

"Megs…"

"Hmm?"

"I think our guest is waking up."

The big blue head whipped around quicker than a snake's, the green eyes piercing him with unexpected intensity. Tom jumped.

"So he is…" Turning back to the woman in his arms, he murmured something to her and she nodded in response before they parted. Roxanne adjusted her outfit slightly as Megamind turned to the unethical journalist on the table. "Welcome, Tom. Or… not, as the case may be."

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing? Why am I here? You can't treat people any way you want just because you think you're-"

"Oh, spare me." Megamind rolled his eyes so hard his head followed suit. "You aren't here because of me. You're here as a gift to my e-vil queen." He gestured graciously back toward Roxanne, the corner of his mouth lifting as he took in the sight of her again. "Don't you love the ensemble? Smoking hot… I picked it out myself."

So she was right. "She told me that. And I think she looks like a freak. Just like you."

"Oh dear. Then I don't suppose you're going to be entirely happy with the outfit we chose for you." Megamind whipped off the sheet that covered him. "Ta da!"

Tom felt an alarming breeze in places he shouldn't have been able to feel a breeze and looked down at himself. "Wha-? Where are my clothes?" At some point while he had been unconscious, his clothing had been replaced, and he now found himself dressed in a style similar to the lead character of a certain cult-status movie, his hairy chest enclosed in a black corset and legs encased in garters and fishnet stockings down to a pair of uncomfortable pumps shoved on his size 12 feet.

"We dressed you for a special mission," Megamind began, then noticed the significant bulge in the man's tight shorts. A look of extreme distaste twisted his blue lips. "Is that…? Tom! Tsk, tsk! For shame! Maybe you actually like your new outfit a little too much."

"Oh, I don't think that's it, sweetheart," Roxanne chimed in, moving closer to look over his shoulder at their captive. "I think he's been awake for a while," she accused him. "And was watching us."

"Oh, shut up!" Tom snapped miserably, his arms bound at his sides leaving him helpless to do anything about his embarrassing state of exposure.

"Well, well," Megamind muttered, still obviously disturbed. "I certainly didn't intend to provide entertainment for your base, voyeuristic tendencies, but at least I have the satisfaction of assuring you that you have absolutely zero chance of ever enjoying that kind of interaction with this beautiful woman again." Megamind leaned closer. "Ever." He shook his head and looked back at Roxanne who smiled at him. "I don't know what you were thinking, Tom, to give her up." He leaned closer to stage whisper, "She's amazing."

Tom knew only too well. But it had been the young intern's insistence that their casual encounters should be something more meaningful that had caused him to push her away. He had no use for emotional baggage complicating his life. "Oh yeah? Well, tonight she came to me for help to get away from you. How do you think I got here? She's only pretending to-" He stopped as Megamind made some small gesture near his wrist, and a strange thing happened. The blue head and black outfit blurred and glowed, looking as though he might melt away until suddenly his image cleared again, and he looked identical to the woman standing behind him. Now Tom was staring in bewilderment at two Roxannes.

The one who had been Megamind clasped her hands together. "Oh, Tom. I need your help. Megamind's lost his mind." He even sounded like her.

Tom stared, making the doppelganger laugh. "Did you really think I'd send my precious angel out to pick you up? Dressed like this? Oh, I knew you wouldn't be able to resist her. You came along very willingly, just as I planned. But I would never place my treasure close enough to you for you to lay a hand on. Or ask her to lower herself to be your bait… Tom, you twisted pig. No. So that was me. And too easy, I must say. You didn't even notice that her beautiful blue eyes had turned green, did you? Not even when you had your hand on my leg."

It was only then that Tom recognized the difference in the two women.

"He put his hand on your leg?" The real Roxanne gaped, more amused than shocked. "Tom! How dare you hit on my boyfriend!"

The mortified reporter shuddered at the thought of caressing that blue alien thigh as he watched Megamind change back into his true form. "I – I didn't know it was him! I thought it was you!"

Megamind backhanded him across the face. "How dare you hit on my girlfriend."

"Ahh! This is insane!" Tom protested, almost too alarmed to feel his cheek stinging.

"Oh, you don't know the half of it," the former villain assured him in a low, hoarse tone. Another twist of his wrist device, and Tom's blood ran cold as he began to fear his situation was much more dire than he'd originally suspected.

Megamind, now in the form of Tom's friend and colleague Owen, held up a digital camera card pinched between two fingers. "Recognize this?" He watched the reporter's mouth open and close like a fish. "I see you do. Thanks for giving it back to me." Understanding dawned on Tom's face, realizing how he'd been duped. "Yes. That was a particularly bad choice. And right after my visit to your office. You're in deep shit now."

Calling for a brainbot, he kept his eyes on the unnerved man before him as he held the card up a little higher. Tom's eyes grew wide and he flinched as a fine purple laser shot from the bot's eyestalk, disintegrating the card completely.

"I'm sure you hated to lose that valuable portion of your work portfolio," Megamind pretended to commiserate with him as he rubbed his fingertips together to dust away the carbonized residue before returning to his own form again. He held out a black-gloved hand and yet another bot flew to him, handing him a stack of 8x10 photographs. Megamind finally took his eyes off of Tom as he began to peruse the pictures of Roxanne and Hal at the top of the museum's new statue. "I have some copies here though. You can keep any of them you want. Otherwise I'll just have the bots… dispose of these as well… Oh, look. This is a particularly good one." Turning the photo around, he allowed Tom one last look at Roxanne being forced back toward the edge of the statue by the crazed anti-hero, her face panicked as the wind flapped at the sides of the blouse he'd torn open.

Tom was about to protest when a flick of the alien's nimble wrist aimed the snapshot toward his head. The brainbots waiting at his shoulders both fired, vaporizing the glossy paper in midair near his left ear.

"AHH!" Tom cried, cringing. A tiny cloud of smoke lingered near his shoulder.

"Guess you didn't want that one," Megamind muttered, continuing to look through the stack.

"They could have hit me! Burned me! Th-"

Far from being concerned, Megamind began rapidly flicking the photos toward the tabloid reporter's face, one by one. Tom began to shriek and protest as the hovering cyborgs vied to see which of them could hit more of the targets first. A smell of burning filled the air around him, the lasers passing so close that he squeezed his eyes shut tightly and begged for them to stop, his face screwed up in fear. After what seemed an eternity in which he was sure he was about to be maimed at any second, he realized the firing had stopped and opened his eyes to see Megamind standing empty-handed, watching him. "I guess you didn't want any of them." Behind him Roxanne still stood calmly, her face a mask and her arms folded.

"You could have killed me!" Tom gasped, his chest heaving. "Roxanne, tell him to stop! He really is insane!"

"There's a fine line between insanity and genius, Tom. I find it amuses me to cross it now and then." The blue lips curled in a thin, crafty smile. "We may just cross it several times tonight. I feel like laughing." To make his point, he treated Tom to one of his best evil chuckles and then turned serious as quickly as snapping his fingers. "No one treats my angel the way you did and gets away with it. No one." Megamind straightened and called back over his shoulder, eyes still fixed on the stunned tabloid jockey. "Minion!"

The genial fish lumbered into the room accompanied by two more glowing brainbots. "Ready, Sir!"

"Time to put our plan into action."

With a nod, the fish turned a knob built into the chest of his mecha suit. Tom yelped as an array of beams fanned out from a small aperture, scanning him where he lay. Then with a second twist the little henchman grinned and took on a new form.

"But that's… that's me," Tom gasped in dismay. "What are you going to do with me? Looking like that!"

"I told you we dressed you for a special mission," Megamind explained. "We're taking you out for a night on the town! First, it'll be a little trip in an open top convertible through the downtown nightlife of Metrocity, waving to all and sundry, showing off your revamped look. Would blowing kisses and singing at the top of his lungs be too over the top?" he asked Roxanne who shook her head with a smile. "Then you'll be off to exact some petty revenge on the city's new defender whom everyone realizes you despise. A little vandalism at the new museum sound like fun? My bots will record it all. One's going to broadcast it here so you can watch yourself," he assured him as a large screen descended from overhead, placed just right for Tom's viewing ease. "And the other is going to take pretty pictures of it all. Those I plan to keep safe with me. As insurance." He put an arm around Roxanne's waist. "And should you ever feel the need to harass my beautiful Roxanne again," he warned. "The evidence of your special night on the town will be promptly sent to every newspaper in the city as well as the chief of police."

Tom gaped before finally protesting in a weak, husky tone. "That's blackmail." He stared, knowing he was helpless to stop the humiliation. "Impersonation. And entrapment and… and…"

"Revahnge," Megamind added. "Plain and simple. Cold. Heartless. Just like you." He turned to Roxanne and Minion. "Let's get this show on the road. Literally!"

Seeing them all beginning to leave, Tom called, "Hey! But! You can't just leave me here!"

"Oh, I nearly forgot." Megamind moved back to the console of buttons and gadgetry and pulled a lever. "I couldn't leave a guest all alone, could I? Why, that would be terribly rude. So while you watch yourself on the mega-screen there," he said, gesturing to the oversized screen currently displayed the blue M and bolts logo. "And enjoy the broadcast of aaall the mayhem..."

With the flip of a switch, the table Tom lay bound on began to tip upright until he could see a portion of the floor sliding away, leaving him stranded on a small circular platform. The metal cuffs than had held his arms to the table released with a clank. He had started to slide down the flat surface, the nervous sweat on his back rubbing and catching along the steel surface, when a reptilian form leaped into the air from the pit below, snapping its jaws near his black patent pumps. The reporter scrabbled frantically at the slick table as another alligator followed suit.

"My pets will keep you company." Putting a finger to his lips, Megamind turned thoughtful. "Dear me, I've been so busy today I completely forgot to feed them. So… you may want to refrain from making any sudden movements so as not to give them the wrong idea." Two brainbots approached Tom's small refuge, one carrying a wrench. "Oh look! The bots want to play too."

"Go away!" Tom hissed at them, eyeing the red-stained, bear trap mouths over his shoulder as he huddled against the table. The loud clamping of one set of serrated teeth answered him, and both cyborgs hovered closer.

"Better throw that wrench," Roxanne couldn't resist suggesting.

Megamind smiled maliciously, biting his lip. "Yes, I've found out the hard way they can be inordinately impatient, the little imps. Luckily the prosthetic fits great and is hardly noticeable." He flexed the fingers of one hand in the air.

"Prosth-" Tom swallowed hard. Megamind didn't have a prosthetic limb… did he? With a shaking hand Tom reached out and took the end of the tool gingerly. At first the bot pulled back, playing a little tug of war with the reluctant reporter. Just as Tom was about to give up, it released it and bobbed excitedly, waiting for the game to begin. As he gave the metal bar a half-hearted lob, the quick movement of his arm drew the attention of the well-trained reptiles below, who leapt up again, snapping and throwing themselves against the edge of the pit before sliding back down. With a cry of alarm, Tom shrank back against the vertical table. He winced as he felt an ankle turn on the unfamiliar footwear.

"Oh-hoho… Look at them playing!" Megamind commented fondly as his henchman beamed and Roxanne giggled to herself. "Well, have fun! I know we will..." They left hearing the excited bowgs of the bots and the snapping of the alligators accompanying Tom's whimpers of despair.

A few hours later, Roxanne sauntered leisurely back into the Lair, not quite sure what she would find but certain it would be very satisfying.

Tom sat huddled on his paltry refuge, his arms wrapped tightly around his knees, his eyes glazed and dull. A bot was returning the wrench to him which he listlessly tossed away before immediately grimacing and squeezing his legs more closely to himself as the alligators leapt up yet again. It was Roxanne's chuckle that made Tom notice her arrival.

"Hello, Tom. How are you holding up?"

He glowered. "I'm cold. And cramped. These stupid clothes are damned uncomfortable..." The second cyborg flew over and dropped the wrench near him again. "And don't these idiotic things ever get tired of this? My god, my arm aches!" He glanced around, knowing Megamind was most likely somewhere nearby.

Roxanne smiled. "Well, I'm here to rescue you."

"Yeah, right. I get it now. You weren't looking for my help at all. In fact, you're probably him." He glowered darkly and refused to look at her, wondering what color her eyes were. The impatient bot waiting bowged and darted at him, making him grab quickly for the tool and throw it as far as he could muster in frustration. A twinge of pain made him wince. "But I don't even care. I can't do this anymore," he whined. "Get me out of here."

Roxanne pulled her own de-gun from her thigh holster. "That's what I'm going to do. And once you leave, you will never come back. Will you."

"No."

"And you will never reveal this location to anyone. Will you."

They weren't questions. "No."

"And you will never publish anything against Megs or Minion or myself again."

"No! In fact, I'm getting out of this town! I can't wait to get away from all of you and this whole stinking place! I'm moving as soon as-"

In one fluid motion, Roxanne aimed and dehydrated the detestable man. "Believe me… the feeling's mutual."

Megamind appeared from the shadows and crossed to where she stood, planting a kiss on her cheek as he gave her a quick squeeze. He helped her pull the necessary levers and switches and walked over to retrieve the blue cube from the floor, tossing it lightly in his hand. It was so tempting to keep it, maybe high on a shelf where it could collect dust forever or to use it for tests of one kind or another. Placing it in a vice to see how much pressure it could withstand sounded tempting. He smiled to himself thinking he could shove it in one of the raw, whole chickens he fed the alligators and wait for it to reappear. "Shall I drop him in the middle of the lake?"

His lovely new partner smirked at him. "No. But I know his ex's address. We'll just mail him there."

The blue hero grinned back. "Oooh, I love it when you're evil."