I'm sorry this took so long, I just had a little bit of writers block. The next chapter should be up soon, and it'll be longer, promise!

-Han

A leather journal crashed against the wall, loose pages fluttering out and the spine nearly breaking. A slew of curses followed a second later as Kat cradled her arm and glared daggers at the inanimate object. She hated writing, it made her feel stupid. When words refused to flow the way her thoughts did and not even a dictionary could correct her spelling, the frustration was pushing her beyond her limits.

Her head pounded, blood pumping through her body and carrying the pain, doubling its intensity until she felt like she would explode. Every breath inward made pain radiate through her chest to the tips of her wings and they quivered in response. Her fingers wove into her hair and she pretended that the action didn't double her pain.

She hated feeling stupid; it was something that had plagued her ever since she'd escaped her own personal Hell. Fourth grade math and reading didn't let you function in normal society, and she couldn't learn it, no matter how hard she'd tried. She used to stay up until sun rise trying to learn percentages and multiplications. It would end with her slamming something against the wall, her running into the Lot to work with her hands, something she could understand. She could tell you the parts and fix them, but she couldn't figure out how much a tip should be at the local diner.

She looked up guiltily as Bobby wheeled himself into the room, a sad look in his eyes. He picked up her journal, running his aging hands over the cover and the ink-smudged pages. He didn't open it, only kept it closed and set it in his lap.

"Sorry," she muttered avoiding his eyes. He wheeled closer, his body tired and heavy feeling.

"What for?"

"Everything?" she made it a question, almost unsure why guilt was suddenly weighing heavily on her chest, why it felt like it was crushing her.

"Not everything is your fault," he said with an attempt at a smirk. She rolled her eyes and held her hand out for the journal. He passed it slowly. "Why'd you do it?"

"Sell my soul?" Kat asked, looking at Bobby as if facing a judge. The older man nodded numbly, not trusting his gruff voice to communicate what he wanted. "Because you guys give up too much on a daily basis, it was time for someone else to make a sacrifice."

"Idjit," Bobby grunted. "All hunters sacrifice."

"Exactly," she quipped. "And it was my turn. The three of you gotta stay together, gotta be strong."

"You're family too," he insisted roughly.

"Those boys mean more to you than anything; they mean more to each other than the world they're tryin' to save. I know you guys care, but sometimes, a girl's just gotta make the world easier for other people," she said with a shrug.

"One day we're gonna tackle your self-worth issues," Bobby said tiredly. She smirked, a shallow smile that rested on the surface or her skin and refused to dive deeper and make herself happy. Too much was happening in the world for her to be happy and really, she needed a vacation.

"They're not issues, they're fact," she said stubbornly. "It's just the truth, Bobby, you guys deserve to stay together. I'm not gonna screw that up."

Before the older hunter could open his mouth again, likely to push something through her obnoxious brain that she was worth the trouble to save, he heard the door to the Impala slam outside. Kat looked up sharply, a breathless smile rising to her lips. She looked back at Bobby.

"Remember the way this has to work," she insisted. He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly nodding reluctantly. The front door opened and slammed shut, speaking volumes to the state Dean would be when he entered the room. It sounded like he was simply continuing a conversation that had started outside.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Dean shouted, clearly at his brother. Sam sighed, his shoulders slumping inward and he wondered how he'd ever thought they could handle this like normal people.

"Dean," he tried, his hazel eyes begging for understanding.

"No, don't 'Dean' me. I mean, you, you have had some stupid ideas in the past, But this…" he trailed off, walking further into the room and sparing Bobby and Kat a glance. "D-Did you know about this?"

"What?" Bobby and Kat asked together, her head tilting to the side in confusion.

"About Sam's genius plan to cram the devil down his throat," Dean spat.

"What," Kat repeated as Bobby nodded his head slowly. She turned to the older hunter. "And you thought I was stupid?"

"Thanks for the heads up, man," Dean said to Bobby, his eyes hard.

"Hey, this ain't about me," Bobby said, raising his hands in surrender.

"That was my point, exactly!" Kat accused indignantly, her eyes wide and frustrating. Her fingers clutched at her journal as if it were the source and her head pounded furiously.

"I'm older, I can make these kind of executive decisions," Bobby quipped. Kat rolled her eyes in annoyance and sunk further into the couch, the dark circles under her eyes looking more pronounced than ever.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean cut across, glaring at the two of them. Kat swallowed and traced her fingers against the work leather of her journal.

"Nothing," she whispered, scrunching her eyes shut in concentration and trying to get her head on straight. Everything hurt, but she had to hide it. Hide it because they couldn't see her broken or in pain. Hunters were supposed to stand tall, back straight, chin up. "What uh…what are you talking about?"

"I want to say yes to the Devil," Sam said quickly. "And then I want to jump in the pit."

Her heart stopped, her body shutdown and the pain faded to the background to a numb dull ache. Her mind went into a frenzy of fear and loss, just the idea of Sam giving his life to save them seemed wrong. Her head shook back and forth, emotion threatening to break through her currently fragile body.

"No, no, no. There's gotta be another way, Sam," she mumbled, almost to herself. Dean nodded his agreement and stared at his brother. "Look, we'll find something, anything, but don't you think you two have been through enough? Don't you think you've sacrificed enough?"
"Of course we have, but…Kat, if there's a way to save the world…" Sam argued, his eyes wide with emotion rolling inside him. She knew that look, the one that said he honestly believed this was the only way. "I have to take it."

"Sam," she insisted, her eyes narrowed on his hulking form. "Keep thinkin' like that and you'll box yourself in, and it'll really be the only way. You gotta know that we're not gonna just let you go quietly," She said slowly. "Way I see it, you and Dean, you two belong at each other's side. You're at your best when the other's there. I'm not just gonna sit by and watch the team of all teams be split down the center. I think you both suffered enough the first time."

"There goes the consensus," Sam muttered, avoiding her eyes. Dean grinned cheekily, sending her a grateful look.

"All right, awesome," Dean said with finality. His phone ringing cut off whatever he might've said next. "This isn't over," he said, pointing at his brother before answering. "Yeah?"

"Dean," the gruff voice sounded, the Angel having an aversion to saying 'hello'. Dean breathed out, relief rolling into his system and he wondered when the Angel had become such a friend of his.

"Cas?" he asked, hope rising.

"Is he okay?" Sam asked quickly, his eyebrows rising. Kat fixed them both with hard looks.

"Why would he be anything but? Didn't you say he'd been checking in with you?" She asked, confusion and mistrust in her eyes. Sam swallowed thickly, avoiding her cutting blue eyes and Bobby shifted uncomfortably in his wheelchair.

"We all thought you were Dead. Where the hell are you, man?" Dean said, ignoring the rest of them.

"Dead?" Kat asked in a deadly voice, her eyes narrowed and her hands in fists. "You thought he was dead and you just, what? Weren't gonna tell me?" she demanded, her voice rising.

"A hospital," Cas said gruffly, looking around himself at the clear plastic tubes that pierced his vessel's skin. It was too white in here, too sterile. It made him feel even more uncomfortable than the den of iniquity that Dean took him too.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked, trying not to look guilty in front of Kat.

"No," he said shortly, his eyes rolling as if annoyed. "Tell Kat to stop worrying."

Dean relayed the message and passed her the phone when she held her hand out sternly. She held it to her ear and he thought her eyes turned sad and careful looking.

"Cas, are you really okay?" she asked carefully.

"I already said no," Cas said softly, staring at the wall in front of him like it could tell him the answer.

"Can you fly?" she asked softly, jus the word striking pain into her wings.

"No, can you?" he asked hopefully.

"No, Michael kinda screwed me up," she said hoarsely, looking down at her lap and wishing she couldn't feel the cracking soreness in her wings as she tried to extend them again. "Why don't, uh, why don't you sit tight and we'll wire you the cash for a plane here, or something?"

"Okay."

"What happened, Cas?" she asked, swallowing thickly and trying to push down the guilt. She knew she should have gone in with him, should have helped in some way.

"Apparently, after Van Nuys, I suddenly appeared, bloody and unconscious, on a shrimping boat off Delacroix. I'm told it upset the sailors," he said softly, as if attempting humor. Kat chuckled lowly.

"Told you, you need a bell," she said affectionately. "So, did you just wake up?"

"The doctors were fairly surprised. They thought I was brain-dead," he said calmly, as if the fact meant nothing to him. Kat nodded dumbly, having very little else to say.

"Are you physically injured, if you are we may have to put everything on the back burner until you're set. We're makin' plans to gank Petulance soon, but we need you ready to go," Kat said, rubbing a hand over her face tiredly.

"N-no," he said unwillingly. "You could say my batteries are drained," he said awkwardly, trying to speak like Dean did.

"What does that mean?" Kat said quietly, her eyes flicking back up to the quietly waiting hunters.

"I'm saying that I am thirsty and my head aches. I have a bug bite that itches no matter how much I scratch it, and I'm saying that I'm just incredibly..." he trailed off unwillingly.

"Human," Kat whispered gently, her eyes wide with sympathy. "Cas, I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Castiel said confusedly.

"It's a human thing, Cas," she said without explaining it. "Bobby'll wire you the cash, here, talk to Dean again," she said softly, passing the phone back and leaning back into the couch.

"I will?" Bobby asked, his eyebrows raised. She gave him a tired smile and shrugged. "How long you been awake, anyway?"

"What day is it?" she asked, her eyes flicking back up to Dean as Cas spoke to him.

"Dean, you said no to Michael, I owe you an apology," Castiel said slowly, his brow crinkled in earnest. "You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be."

"Thank you, 'preciate that," Dean said with only a thin layer of sarcasm coating his words.

"You're welcome," Cas said with sincerity.