"Are you fucking kidding me?"

The way my dad sighs loudly and runs a hand through his hair for the thousandth time since the beginning of this conversation assures me that he is, indeed, not kidding me.

"I know, Rosie. I messed up, but really, this is for the best." He pleads with me.

"You messed up? You messed up? Damn fucking right you messed up! In fact, I'd say you messed up about a thousand times over! What the fuck were you thinking?" I scream at him.

My dad is a very good Auror, no one can deny that. He's been in the Auror office with my Uncle Harry for decades and together they have brought the crime rate down considerably since they took over the office.

However, sometimes my father can be a bit…stupid, dare I say it, for lack of a better word. I love him dearly, I do, I just become quite irritated when he manages to endanger my life, as any other daughter would react, I'm sure.

"I didn't think he would escape!" My dad exclaims in his defense.

"That's your excuse?" I yell at him. "You didn't think he would escape? You taunted and baited a criminal simply because you could and you thought it was okay because you figured he wouldn't escape?"

I'm seething.

My dad looks at me sheepishly. "Merlin! I get it Rose! I made a mistake and you have every right to punish me for it!" He says, exasperated. "But I'm not giving you a choice on the matter, it's for your own safety!"

My dad pissed of a common criminal. This may not have been a big deal if said common criminal hadn't escaped from his community service building and is now consequently at large. Oh, yeah, and apparently said common criminal is also coming after me.

Why me, do you ask? Well maybe not just me in particular (apparently he had threatened my entire family) but seeing as my brother Hugo is still at Hogwarts finish up his final year and my mum can handle herself, I seem to be the easiest target.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Dad just had to insult Mingan "The Grey Wolf" Fuenning. Then Fuenning threatened to hurt Dad's family and now here I am, sitting in my office as my dad reluctantly explains to me why I'm at a major risk.

Dad won't tell me exactly what he said to make Fuenning so angry, but obviously, by the looks of it, it was enough for him to threaten my life.

And now, the illusion of my once sort-of-peaceful life is shattered. Great, he's now lecturing me on self defense.

This is all his fault! I glare at my dad, wishing that for once he had been able to meet his stupid mouth shut.

"…And Muggles have this silly thing called…salt spray? Yeah, I think that's what they call it, and I think you should carry it around, too, just in case you can't reach your wand in time or something."

I think he means pepper spray. And when in the hell would there ever be an instance in which I wouln't be able to use my wand but would be able to get my hands on a bottle of pepper spray? I roll my eyes at my father, still trying to console myself.

I know that he loves me.

Oh fuck this isn't working; my father is such an idiot!

"…But of course your bodyguard will be well equipped to handle any type of emergency situation that could present itself…" my dad continues.

Wait a fucking minute! Hold up! My bodyguard? No one ever mentioned anything to me about a bodyguard before!

"Bodyguard?" I screech at him.

This day just keeps getting better and better.

My dad chuckles nervously. "Heh. Yeah, um, sweetheart, you're a very good witch and I know you got an O in DADA but Fuenning is very dangerous and I just can't let you be unguarded with a criminal like him on the loose looking for you."

Perfect. Absolutely fucking perfect. I'm going to spend the rest of my life being guarded until this crazed lunatic is captured for good.

But there is still one question I want answered.

"And who exactly is going to be my bodyguard?" I question my dad threateningly.

I know this was exactly the wrong question to ask when my dad squirms uncomfortably, not looking me in the eye.

"Best Auror-in-training in his year. He is well equipped and educated and he will be able to guard you until Fuenning is captured." He fires off facts at me.

But he still hasn't answered my question.

"Who. Is. It?"

"He'll be by here at the end of your work day, 17:00, to pick you up. Don't worry Rosie! He'll protect you! Oh! And he'll need to stay in your guest room…thank Merlin you have one! I really have to go now…Harry needs my help with some…filing…" he trails off meekly.

"WHO IS IT?" I scream at him.

"ScorpiusMalfoy. Bye sweetheart! Love you!"

And then my dad, Ron Weasley, world renowned Auror known across the planet for his braveness practically sprints out of my office.

Fucking hell.