Chapter 1: Goodbye

Goodbye, green eyes
Goodbye for now
Goodbye, sunshine
Take care of yourself

I have to go, I have to go, I have to go
And leave you alone
But always know, always know, always know
That I love you so, I love you so, oh.
I love you so

Full story summary:

"You see, Bella, I was always that boy. In my world, I was already a man. I wasn't looking for love - no, I was far too eager to be a soldier for that; I thought of nothing but the idea of idealized glory of the war that they were selling prospective draftees then - but if I had found..." He paused, cocking his head to the side. "I was about to say if I had found someone, but that won't do. If I had found you, there isn't a doubt in my mind how I would have proceeded. I was that boy, who would have - as soon as I discovered that you were what I was looking for - gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn't have quite the same connotations."

What if Bella is given a chance to go back in time to Chicago, 1918? Follow Bella as she finds out if Edward was right in his assumption.

BPOV

"Are you going to visit him today?" Edward asks as he leans somewhat casually against my dressing table.

I nod, turning around to read his face. How is it possible that my visiting Jacob has no effect on him? I ask myself if I will be uncomfortable if Edward were to visit someone he'd loved previously. I cannot even give a resolute 'no', if I am being truthful. Plus, there is still a little teensy bit inside me that still loves Jake.

I get up from my bed and walk over, throwing my hands around him. "I love you. You know that right?"

He wraps his hands around my waist and clutches me closer to him. He buries his nose in my hair as he inhales deeply. "I know. I love you too, Bella. More than you could possibly comprehend," he whispers.

"Impossible," I shake my head.

"I know I've told you this before, but you're comparing one tree to the entire forest."

Impossible.

I tilt my head to the side and kiss his throat before pulling back slightly. "Jake's waiting," I murmur.

He sighs, releasing his hold on my waist to cup my face between his hands. He leans down and places small butterfly kisses along my jaw line. Immediately, I feel my knees turn to jelly and I clutch his biceps for support. I didn't actually need to because I know Edward will never let me fall.

Where am I going again?

One of his hands moves up to my head and his fingers knots in my hair while the other inches down my back and crushes me against his chest, his lips finally finding mine.

He kisses me softly, his hard lips moving with mine ever so gently as I tug at his hair with my fingers. How can his hair be so soft? Then, his tongue touches my lips almost hesitantly and I gasp. He pulls away - or rather, wrenches himself - from me, breathing heavily. I almost whimper at the loss.

"Jacob's waiting for you, remember?" he whispers.

Oh yes. Jake. I step away from him with a sigh.

He meets me at my truck in the driveway (Charlie is in the house so he can't walk me down) and leans against it, out of Charlie's view. He brushes my hair away from my face and plants a kiss on my forehead.

"Be safe," he says without a trace of humor in his voice.

"I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble comes looking for me," I point out, hopping into the cab of my bright orange Chevy.

Edward eyes my truck almost anxiously as if he expects it to blow up in front of him at any moment. "That's what I'm afraid about," he says so low that I'm not sure if I was meant to hear that.

O.o.O

"You mean he actually told you that while you were discussing the prospect of marriage? Damn, I've really underestimated him!" Jacob chuckles quite bitterly for someone who said that he'd stop cutting me in half to show that he loves me more than Edward does.

"What's wrong with saying that?"

"Do you really think he'd give up being a soldier just because he loves you? No guy would do that, Bella. During the 1910s, most of the men idolized the idea of fighting for the country, even if it meant sacrificing themselves. At the most he'd join the army and then come back a few years later to marry you," Jake scoffs.

"Stop it, Jake! You don't know what he was like back in 1918," I say defensively.

"And you do? C'mon Bells. He's not the kind of person he says he is."

"Why does it matter anyway? He's who I want," I plunge the knife in and re-open the barely healed wounds for both of us.

"Let's give us another shot -"

"No, Jake! Why hurt ourselves by trying it again? I know who I can't live without -"

Jake winces. "Wait. Listen to me. If I can somehow get you back to 1918, you can find out for yourself what kind of person Edward was before he became a bloodsucking monster. You can find out if he really would have proposed to you instead of going off to fight a war."

"Whether or not he would have done it then doesn't matter to me. What matters is now he wants me to marry him, and I want to be his in every sense of the word."

"Either way, you don't lose anything, Bells. If he doesn't change his mind about becoming a soldier, you'll understand how his mind works, at least. And he'll still be here when you get back," he shrugs like time travel isn't such a big deal. "When you find out what kind of person he really is, maybe you might change your mind about being tied to him for eternity."

"Are you delirious, Jake?" I reach out to touch his forehead. His temperature is a hundred degrees on average, so I have no idea if he has a fever or not. "Time travel isn't possible. It hasn't even been invented yet!"

"You don't have a lot of faith in him, do you? You keep thinking of reasons not to do it, instead of reasons to do it," Jake grins.

Damn, this side of him makes me want to yank my hair out in frustration! I have complete faith in Edward, don't I? So why does it matter if I go back in time or not?

"What's in it for you?" I narrow my eyes suspiciously at him. He mentioned giving us another chance. But how...?

"I'm hoping that when you realize that bloodsucker isn't the noble guy he says he is, the one who is willing to give up fame for love, you'll come back to me, because I'd do it for you, Bells. In a heartbeat."

Yeah, and I have to go back in time to prove Edward is who he says he is and Jake doesn't need me to have any proof of his words.

What do I have to lose? Even if Edward decides to go to war instead of staying with me, what difference does it make? I will still get to marry him when I get back right? Plus it won't hurt to know Edward when he was human to understand why he makes the decisions he makes when it involves me.

"Fine. Either way, my decision stays the same, Jake. Don't keep your hopes up." My voice cracks when I say that last sentence. Jake tries to hold back a grimace without much success.

"I still have hope for us, Bells. I'm not giving up just yet."

O.o.O

"Dad, have you eaten yet?" I ask Charlie who is watching a re-run of a baseball game when I return home.

"Yeah, I picked something up from the Diner before I came back. How's Jacob? Is he feeling any better?" Charlie replies, his eyes glued to the TV screen.

"Yeah, Jake's fine," I keep my tone somewhat neutral, knowing that Edward is listening from upstairs.

"That's good to hear. Goodnight, Bells," he makes eye contact this time, no doubt looking for signs of any waterworks.

"G'night dad. Hope the White Sox win," I try to give an enthusiastic smile but fail miserably at it.

I go upstairs. Edward is leaning against my bedroom door by the time I reach the second floor landing. His eyes rake down my body twice before coming back up and looking into my eyes. He is checking for any injuries, no doubt

"How's your best friend?" Edward whispers into my hair, pulling me into the bedroom and kicking the door shut softly.

"He's almost back to normal now," I reply, careful to keep my tone happy.

He pulls back slightly to analyze my face. I keep my eyes on his, not wanting him to suspect anything. Trying to keep my smile looking genuine, I trail my hands up his chest and lock them around his cool neck.

How long will I be gone for? How long will it take 1918 Edward to fall in love with me?

Contemplating the latter makes me feel like a manipulative bitch.

"I love you. I will always love you, no matter what happens," I whisper before crushing my lips to his in a desperate kiss. I only have a fleeting twelve hours left with my Edward and I want to make the most of it.

He kisses me back, hesitantly, and I can almost hear the whirring sounds of his brain as he tries to come up with a reasonable answer for the way I am acting.

My tongue traces lightly over his lips, relishing in the warmth from my lips on his. He tenses slightly but doesn't pull away. I suck his bottom lip into my mouth and he steps back, unlocking my hands from around his neck.

"What is it?" he murmurs, slightly breathless from kissing.

"What is what?" I feign ignorance as I throw myself onto my bed and hide under the covers.

Edward worms his way under them to join me a split second later, careful to keep some of the duvet between us to insulate me from his cold skin. I yank them away almost immediately. No, I don't want anything in between us. Not when I only have so little time left.

"Tell me," Edward demands, angling my face upward so that he can read my face.

I avert my eyes anyway. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Damn it, Bella, you're the world's most horrible liar. I know you're keeping something from me," Edward growls. I can hear the frustration in his voice.

"I can't tell you yet," I whisper.

Oh Edward, believe me, I want to tell you. I want to, but I can't.

He scrutinizes my expression for a while before he gasps. Oh my God. Are my thoughts written on my face? Or does he suddenly have the ability to read my silent mind?

"You're leaving me?" he whispers, and I can hear the anguish and heart shattering pain in his voice.

Yes, but only temporarily. Oh Edward.

I reach up to touch his face and tears well up in my eyes at his expression. I've never seen so much pain on my angel's face.

"No, Edward, I'm not. Why would you think that?"

He leans into my touch as he continues to scrutinize my face. He has become so good at reading my face that I almost start panicking. What if he finds out? I know without a doubt he will do anything to try and stop me. Will he feel betrayed because I don't trust him enough?

"You don't want to marry me?" he tries again, his voice barely a whisper. He looks down at my ring, traces it briefly before looking back up at me.

"I want to marry you, Edward. Believe me, there's nothing I'd rather do," I whisper back, finally succumbing to my tears. I can't take it. The guilt of going behind his back and the prospect of leaving him, even for a little while is too much for me to handle.

He crushes me to his chest, letting my tears stain his shirt. He rubs soothing circles across my back while he holds me and kisses my hair, making me feel worse than I already feel.

"I love you, Edward. I love you so much. I want to tell you everything, but I can't, and it's killing me inside," I sob brokenly into his chest, inhaling his sweet, sweet scent and committing it to memory.

"I love you too. More than anything in the world, my beautiful brown eyes," he says softly, his lips at my ear.

I cry even more than I had when I knew it was over for Jake and me. My eyes are so swollen and tired that I know I can't even cry another tear. I look up at Edward in the darkness. His expression is so heart wrenching that moisture brims in my eyes again and spills over onto my cheeks.

How can I leave him for God knows how long when I can't even survive the thought of it?

I finally understand how he felt when he thought he had to leave me last year after my disaster of a birthday. It is the worst feeling I've ever felt in my life.

He hugs me even tighter to his chest than before. I hear Charlie's footsteps as he ascends the stairs and up to my room to check on me, but he doesn't enter. Maybe he heard my sobs from behind the door. I wasn't exactly trying to muffle the sounds I made. He leaves after a while, his footsteps even heavier on his way down to his room.

I kiss Edward's chest, hold his hand in the darkness and somehow drift off into a restless sleep.

O.o.O

I make meticulous notes the next morning, getting information from the Internet, from Carlisle and from Edward himself. I can't just waltz into 1918 Chicago without knowing my American History! Edward may have already guessed what I am up to if the idea isn't so bizarre. Well, more bizarre than the existence of vampires and werewolves anyway.

Edward had eyed me warily when I woke some three hours after I cried myself to sleep. His hand traced soothing circles on the back of my palm, his other hand under my neck.

"I'm okay now," I lied, rubbing my eyes.

I can tell he didn't believe me, but he didn't press it.

"I'm going to Jake's," I tell Edward after I finish gathering my notes.

"Okay. Hurry back," he gives me a chaste kiss and my favorite crooked grin.

I'll try. I promise.

"Okay," I return his smile. I turn to step out of the house. What if I don't come back for a whole month? What will Edward think?

I spin around and throw myself at him, literally, and attack him with my lips. He kisses me back hungrily, almost desperately. He backs me up against my front door and traces the waistband of my dark washed jeans. His fingertips makes contact with my skin, and I gasp at the electricity that seems to flow. It scorches my skin, but I want more. I can't get enough of it.

My fingers find their way to his silky bronze locks and tug on them harder than I usually would have.

He lets out a sound somewhere in between a growl and moan. It is almost animalistic, but damn if it isn't sexy.

I break away, gasping for air, and he angles my face upwards even more to kiss my throat. I hitch my leg up around his hip in response.

His tongue flicks out to trace over the spot on my throat he's just kissed and I let out a moan loud enough to wake the neighbors.

Edward pulls away slightly and kisses my lips once more. It is sweet, soft and lingering. He pulls back.

"I'll see you later," he says huskily. If I didn't know how he feels about sex, I could have sworn he was thinking about doing it later, his conditions be damned. But this is Edward we are talking about. He is the master of self-control.

My cheeks are flushed from our makeout session on my front porch and he touches them lightly with his cool fingertips.

I trace his cheek with my fingertips and memorize every inch of his face, from the unruly bronze locks that falls over his liquid gold eyes to his full perfect lips.

"Wait for me, Edward."

"Of course," he answers with a smile.

"Promise me," I add.

His brows furrow. "I promise, Bella. I love you."

Tears spring to my eyes again involuntarily. I bite down hard on my lip, fighting to keep them at bay. "I love you more," I whisper, getting onto my bike.

When I am on the road, some fifty miles from Edward, I let the tears spill over and cloud my vision.

O.o.O

"So how are we going to do this?" I ask Jake flatly. I yearn to be back in Edward's embrace where I know I will always be safe.

"Here," he hands me a pale purple candle.

I raise an eyebrow. "What's this for?"

"It's your method of time travel," Jake explains patiently, as if I am asking him a math problem, instead of defying all possible explanations of science. "Just light the candle and make a wish."

I am sure he was pulling my leg now. I stare at him, waiting for him to slap his thighs and break out in uncontrollable laughter but he doesn't. He looks very serious. Too serious for someone who I assume is telling a joke.

"You'd better not be pulling my leg, Jake," I say warningly.

He passes me a lighter and I light the candle. It starts burning with a lilac flame.

"One last thing, Bells. Don't do anything major that will screw up history okay? One wrong move can rewrite history. Remember that," he looks grimly at me.

I nod.

"Okay. Picture Chicago in 1918 and blow out the candle. Focus on where you want to go," he instructs.

I push all thoughts about Edward's protective embrace out of my head and picture streets without the modern infrastructure. Girls wearing long skirts that covers their ankles and big floppy hats with feathers. Men wearing pants with suspenders. Edward with a slight tan and warmth...

"BELLA!"

I gasp, wrenching my eyes open. Edward – my Edward is rushing to me at full vampire speed, so fast that within a split second, he has crossed a distance of half a mile. His hand is outstretched, fingers grasping wildly at my arm.

Everything happens so fast that I am not even sure what happened. A tremendous force hurls me away from Edward and I feel as if a cyclone is dragging me into its vortex, sweeping me away at 200 miles per hour.

I feel my feet hit the ground a while later, the force pushing me not quite dissipated yet and I collide into something hard and unmistakably warm.

"Ow!" a voice says in protest as we both fall forward. My head hits the gravel and bounces off with a sickening thud. My vision blurs and tears fill my eyes as the pain resonates in my skull.

The darkness threatens to overwhelm me. Falling into it will be simpler than blinking. I blink a few times to clear my vision, as I fight to stay awake.

"Miss? Miss, are you all right?" an all too familiar voice asks me.

My vision clears for a few precious seconds and I see a head of wild untamed bronze locks and sparkling green eyes.

"Edward..." I say breathlessly.

The last thing I remember before letting the blackness consume me whole is the familiar furrowed brows on his face…

A/N: Okay, there you have it. I'm already working on the second chapter, but I have no intention of posting it until I know that people actually want to read this. So yeah, drop me a note to tell me how I should improve and/or if I should continue writing this story.

Okay, see you soon! Go to my profile for fic recs and my twitter in case you people want to see spoilers and know when I'm gonna be updating this and my other fics.

XOXO ~ DILK