A/N: Been a long time since I did one of these...

Eventful. That was one very apt word which could sum up Uzumaki Naruto's day. Bizarre was another word, but then it would just be more appropriate to leave any semblance of censorship and declare his day 'fucked up'.

Amazingly, this was not so without proper reason…

~xcx~

Expecting another biased day at the Academy, Naruto decided to go a little late, and snuggled up under his torn and tattered blanket. It was only when his leaking ceiling dribbled a stream of water on him that he woke up, and noticed that it had started raining unexpectedly (some would reason that this was due to the monsoon, but the narrator would like to point out that this is an important plot point to keep in mind). Of course, how his second floor apartment ceiling had leaked in a four-floor building was a question for another day (hopefully not as fucked up as this one).

Realizing with horror that he was inexcusably late, Naruto hurried as fast as he could, not even stopping to eat the only thing that he was able to afford and eat – Instant Ramen. Except that it took three minutes more than an instant. Unless, of course, if tee-at-tee was three minutes… but it was never three minutes…

So, the blond boy reached the Academy very late, soaking wet. He did not know how late; his sundial did not work in the rain and his hourglass was unreliable.

Also, he did not know how to tell time off his wrist watch.

But that was not his prime source of distress (maybe the fourth or fifth source; do note that this is another important plot point). No, for on reaching the Academy, Naruto realized with a face-on collision with the locked gate that it was, actually, closed.

At that point, Naruto got, understandably, pissed off and wet. In his haste, he had apparently forgotten that it had been his day off. The -random-usually-ignored-adjective- boy now wanted to do nothing more than find some sort of shelter.

So he slipped into the nearest open public institution, which happened to be the Shinobi Library.

It was huge! With shelves piled with books of every kind which Naruto could imagine, and some which he could not. Books of information, of knowledge, of learning, of research, and probably even of fiction.

But most importantly, books brimming with words. Words which Naruto found drab and boring; little, inanimate black markings which promised a lot, but gave nothing. Words which never had been able to enrapture Naruto in their tales of past, in their proud lists of glories of new and old, in their boastful declarations of giving the perfect information, or in whatever the hell they wanted to teach.

Yet, probably because he did not want to drip water near the entrance or because he did not want to attract attention by loitering at one place, Naruto slowly approached the bookshelf and glanced over the titles. Titles of books which happened to have those dreaded words. But he figured that he had to do something to keep himself entertained while he waited for the rain to stop, so he started looking for something to read.

Nothing, nothing, probably boring, nothing, nothing… There!

Naruto's eyes widened as a particular title caught his attention with its simple but alluring words, "Powerful Ninjutsu 101".

When asked later, Naruto would be unable to put words to that superb feeling that overcame him as he reached towards the book (probably because he could only gurgle and point after the day was over). But, one can describe it as reaching into a big trunk with glowing treasure as a tune played in the background (which went like tun-tun-tun-tun, tun-tun-tun-tun, tun-tun-tun-tun, nan-nan-nan-nan, nan-nan-nan-nan, nan-nan-nan-nan, nan-nan-nan-nan, DUN-DUN-DUN DUUUUUUN!).

Fingers trembling with joy, or perhaps because he was still completely drenched, Naruto went to a table to begin reading the book. He did not let those printed atrocities called letters faze him as he started reading the first chapter, which dealt with chakra theory.

Now, Naruto had never been very bright. In fact, he was pretty dumb (and also pretty blonde, which is the most important plot point in the set of plot points, as the narrator would like to point out). But, he somehow understood the complex intricacies of chakra in his short, quick, yet struggled, reading of the theory. And so, he kept on reading.

He did not know when he dried up as he sat there, in all honesty, inhaling all that information, faster than any shinobi before him. He quickly finished, and magically retained, all the chakra theory and went on to sink his teeth into the meat of the book; the jutsu.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu," he read, "A jutsu which is used to create solid clones of the user. The jutsu is an A-rank kin jutsu, but this book lists it anyway at the behest of the dues-ex-machina.

"The beauty of the jutsu lies in the fact that the user gets all the memories of his/her clone's experiences. Essentially, this opens the door towards a very effective training method. But, not many people are able to use it as this jutsu is very taxing on the user's chakra."

Naruto almost licked his lips at the jutsu's extreme potential. He had to have it; his fingers were itching to try it out. Now, he knew that he was crappy at the Bunshin no Jutsu, but he also knew that he had a massive amount of chakra as his teachers, the ones he suspected of hating and sabotaging him, had told him.

Conveniently, just at that moment, the rain stopped and the sun peaked through the clouds, beckoning him outside.

Quickly memorizing everything written about the jutsu, because he knew he could not take the book with him, Naruto rushed to find a training ground as fast as his little legs could take him. Panting, he brought his hands together into a sign to gather his chakra. He could somehow feel it, deep down, that he could do it.

A huge cloud of smoke covered the clearing, obscuring his vision. But Naruto could feel the drain in his energy, and he knew that he had done something.

The smoke cleared dramatically, revealing hundreds of Naruto clones. Hell, he would go as far as to say that there were dozens of them! A pregnant pause followed, in which each Naruto looked around himself with shocked eyes, before a combined yell of "YATTA!" shook the training ground.

And a din of excited chatter followed, each Naruto wanting the other Naruto to listen to what that Naruto wanted to say, while this Naruto listened like the Naruto.

Pretty soon, every Naruto realized that Naruto was not compatible with any other Naruto, and an all out brawl broke in between all the Narutos. Eventually, only the original Naruto, battered and bruised, was left lying on the smoke covered ground, unconscious due to both the ass-kicking from his clones and the phantom pain he got from the memories other clones kicking each other's asses.

But something like a physical and mental ass-kicking was not going to deter Naruto from his goal; to be the very best, the one that never was. So, he picked himself up and raced back to the library.

His plan was set, he was going to make a few hundred clones and have groups work on different jutsu. This way, he would be able to learn many different jutsu in one day. Absolutely brilliant, with no possible negative consequences!

He grabbed the worn out scroll he always kept in his pocket to take notes (but he never did), and started copying a few cool sounding jutsu into it from the book he had found. Apparently, an academy student practicing some A-rank jutsu without caution was the in thing (if this was a plot point, notes the narrator, then it would be a leaf in the binary tree of plot points... but it's not).

Satisfied with the amount he had copied in his illegible scrawl, Naruto raced back to the clearing and proceeded to make a few hundred Kage Bunshin.

"Okay," he exclaimed, "Divide yourself into groups of hundreds!"

The boy, who was attempting this jutsu for the second time, had precisely made five-hundred clones, so he got five groups. And he had also copied five jutsu, such poetic justice!

Not wasting a second, he handed each group their respective jutsu to work on, already feeling giddy about the results.

~xcx~

Suffice to say, things did not go quite as expected. You see, the brain does not come installed with an automated organization unit.

Which meant that, when, after hours of practice, the Kage Bunshin dispelled themselves, the memory backlash rendered Naruto unconscious, with a stream of memory hitting him like the claw of an angry Biju.

Such unassimilated information would have quite possibly made normal adults vegetables.

Unfortunately, Naruto was no different.

The Biju-Claw Information Attack, or so people later called it, busted the poor child's brain.

And once you link all the plot points properly, as the narrator had pointed out, you'll realize that this was expected. The reason why that particular, eventful day was so 'fucked up'.

Seriously though, who would be idiotic enough to believe that bucket-loads of information in an instant would not fuse a child's brain?

A/N: Yes, yes I do believe this is what should happen in every other fic out there with Deus Ex Machina Kage Bunshin training.