CO-AUTHORED WITH ORIGINAL GROFFETTE

Sorry for the delay, we have both been very busy with our lives!

Rachel found herself pleading with the universe. Maybe if she begged enough, she could get what she wanted. If she could only get one wish come true, it would not have to do with fame, stardom or any of the artistic aspirations that usually enthused her. Neither would it be to be accepted in Julliard, or better yet, to be discovered on Broadway straight out of high school. If she only got one wish, just one, it would be to get Jesse St James out from under her skin. But the universe wasn't listening, and she could only keep on wishing for the impossible.

She kept her phone close by, looking at the text message she had received a few days back, and which she could not bring herself to answer.

What happened? We need to talk. I meant what I said. Please call me. Jx

How did it all happen, how was it that she ended up feeling like that? What had he done to her? Or even worse, what had she done to him? She sat on her bed bracing herself, gently rocking back and forth as her mind wandered to the moment that changed her life.

She had always been sure that she would know the exact moment when she fell in love: it would be like in the movies, a sudden and grandiose realization of undying love just by looking into her soulmate's eyes. There's a moment in romantic movies where two people realize they were made for each other, like the moment Sam took Annie's hand in "Sleepless in Seattle", or that epic kiss under the rain in "The Notebook". Before Jesse came back, Rachel thought "the moment" would happen with Finn, but it never did. It didn't happen with Jesse before either, so Rachel assumed that "the moment" existed only in fiction, or that maybe she would get her "moment" when she was older, maybe after conquering Broadway. But in truth, when the moment happened, she wasn't prepared. At all.

This is not happening…

She still didn't know what possessed her that day to impulsively kiss Jesse and then take him backstage to the dressing room. Maybe it was the simple fact that she felt accepted in a way she never had before, maybe because he made her feel happy and complete.

Either way, she had made up her mind when she locked the door to the auditorium dressing room, and she didn't let Jesse speak at all for fear of losing her nerve. Every time he attempted to speak she silenced him. First he tried to ask her what was going on, but the urgency of her kisses answered him pretty clearly. Then, when she took off his shirt, and her own dress, he managed to ask her only "Are you su-" before she put her fingers on his lips and simply nodded "Yes". After that, all that came from Jesse's mouth were moans between kisses as she hurriedly unbuttoned his pants and grabbed him firmly over his underwear, right before she finished undressing herself and stood stark naked in front of him, her heart beating out of her chest.

She did not feel awkward at all when she had to finish taking off his clothes, since apparently he was too stunned to even move, his breath ragged as he looked at her in what seemed to be utter disbelieve. Time stood still as she walked to the sofa and softly laid there, in what she hoped was a seductive pose. A few seconds more passed before Jesse reacted and positioned himself on top of her, kissing her deeply as his hands roamed undiscovered parts of her body. Rachel could feel his hardness rubbing against her naked hips as he looked at her between desperate kisses, afraid of going any further in case she changed her mind.

But Rachel was sure of what she was doing, and she needed to feel him more than anything, so she adjusted her hips until she felt him at the right spot and swiftly pushed herself against him, gasping loudly when he entered her for the first time. He did not dare to move, as he looked into her eyes and his hands lovingly brushed the sides of her face, until she started to move her hips again against him, the pain she had initially felt replaced by intense pleasure. Rachel never thought making love would be so insanely passionate and simultaneously so sweet. He started thrusting into her slowly, and then more hurriedly as she encouraged him further. She wondered if the world had ceased to exist, if he was feeling the same thing. All she knew is that Jesse was everywhere; his arms tight around her, his neck hot under her mouth catching her ragged breath, his mouth against her ear, and he was inside of her, everywhere.

Suddenly he started saying her name, almost chanting it with every movement. "Rachel, Rachel, oh Rachel…" She ran her hands over his shoulders, and as a wave of ecstasy started building in her, she dug her nails into his skin as she let out several loud moans. To say that she saw fireworks would be an understatement; she felt like she was traveling inside a wormhole where she could see a million stars. But after what felt like an eternity she was back, feeling him still pushing and pulsating inside of her, and the sight of his face wracked by his own orgasm was the most beautiful and sublime thing she had ever laid her eyes on.

That was it, he was it. It was the moment she thought would never come, that instant in which she knew Jesse was the one, her soul mate, her true love. Yet after experiencing the most intense passion of her life, she wasn't ready for it. So when he looked deeply into her eyes adoringly and whispered "I love you", she said the only thing that she could muster at the time : "I'm sorry"...

Historically, Jesse St James had been the one to make a hasty exit after sex with a girl. Rarely had he hung around for the crass cuddling and false promises of phonecalls. Never had he given consideration to the girl he left behind in the crumpled sheets. Equally, Jesse had never imagined that he would ever be the one to be abandoned in a room reeking of sex. So when it happened to him, it shocked him to the core. And the fact that the girl to do it was Rachel Berry? That just damn near tore his heart in half. Now he knew what countless girls must have felt; used, dirty and worthless.

He pulled his clothes on slowly as he ran over the events for the hundredth time. Even now, he could hardly believe what had happened. He had followed her eagerly into the dressing room, sure he was in for a heavy make-out session which was long over-due. He felt a throb in his pants at the very thought of sliding his tongue into Rachel's mouth and running his hands over her breasts. When she closed the door behind them and slid the lock into place, he knew something was different. Then he caught the look in her eyes; pure lust burned behind her long lashes.

"Rache-" he began, but her mouth closed over his before he could continue. He stifled a moan as her tongue caressed his urgently, causing his pants to suddenly be impossibly tight. He had dreamed about making love to Rachel, but in all his fantasies, it was nothing like this. He had always imagined a grand romantic moment, but this was raw and impulsive. He had never been more turned on.

As she began to remove his shirt, sliding her small hands over his chest and dragging her nails lightly down his flesh, he again attempted to speak but found himself silenced by her lips on his. He gave in to the passion and kissed her forcefully while she rid herself of her dress. He tore his mouth from hers and managed to confirm that she was sure. He knew he was nearing the point where he would be unable to stop if she changed her mind. Incredible wanting rippled through him as he crushed his lips to hers in a fervent kiss. Her mouth swallowed his moans as she rubbed his hardness through his underwear, sending pleasure shooting through him. He moaned again when she removed her hand to discard her underwear. Then she was naked before him, a sight he had imagined countless times. His imagination had done her an injustice; she was more beautiful, more sensual than he could ever have envisioned. He allowed himself the luxury of casting his eyes languidly over her form, taking in her breasts and thighs.

It was as if he was caught in a trance; he could not move, only hear his breath coming out in ragged pants and his blood roaring in his ears. He watched, mesmerized, as she moved slowly over to the coach and draped herself seductively across it. With her arm above her head and he legs slightly parted, she was presenting him with the perfect invitation. Suddenly, he snapped out of his daze and placed himself between her toned thighs and he plunged his tongue into her mouth. He needed a part of him to be inside her, but he was still wary of taking the ultimate step of sliding his hardness inside her. His hands roamed her body, relishing every millimeter of her smooth skin. His lips dragged down her throat as his fingers ventured between her thighs. She moaned in his ear, a sound which sent more blood rushing southwards.

When Rachel began to move her hips against him, he thought he would explode over her right there. But then she flicked her hips upwards in one smooth motion to sink his hardness deep inside her. It was the most exquisite sensation of his life. He saw the look of pain in her eyes, heard her gasp. He waited for her to be ready for more. The gentle rocking of her hips sent almost excruciating pleasure flooding through him. He closed his eyes as he fought the urge to pound into her, desperate for his own release. After a few moments, she urged him to increase the pace, her own needs now rivaling his. As he moved more urgently inside her, the outside world dimmed; all he could feel was Rachel, all he could see was her beautiful face and all he could hear were their ragged breaths as they made love. He never wanted the moment to end.

He heard himself begin to pant her name repeatedly as he felt his orgasm building. He could feel she was on the brink too. The combined sensation of her tightening around him and her nails biting into his back was enough to force him to thrust hard and deep inside her until he exploded inside her. Breathing heavily, he ducked his head to kiss her slowly, wanting to savor the moment. And then he said what he had wanted to say for so long.

"I love you," he whispered as he stroked her face softly.

Her response floored him.

Her eyes betrayed her, a look of horror and regret plain to see. "I'm sorry," she gasped as she pushed him away from her.

"Rachel?" he asked incredulously, "What's going on?" Fear filled his heart at the possibility that she did not reciprocate his feelings; worse yet, he was terrified he had hurt her.

She scrambled from the sofa and began to hurriedly pull on her underwear and dress. Unable to meet his eyes, she said nothing more as he dashed to the door.

Momentarily she forgot that is was locked and simply shook the doorknob in frustration at apparently being trapped in a room with Jesse. Her actions were crushing him; he could barely breathe.

"Rache, please stop, we need to talk about this!" he pleaded desperately, suddenly feeling naked not only physically but emotionally too.

She suddenly remembered that the door required unlocking, and practically threw herself out of the door, slamming it behind her. Jesse was left on the sofa, stunned and unable to move.

Now fully dressed he walked out of the dressing room in a zombie-like daze, his head and heart reeling from what had just happened. He could not process the fact that he had taken Rachel's virginity and confessed his love for her, and then moments later she had looked at him as if she had made the worst mistake of her life. His stomach twisted and churned sickeningly as he wandered out of the auditorium and towards the parking lot. His heart was in tatters.

He slumped behind the wheel of his car, unable to find the strength to even insert the key into the ignition. What had gone wrong? What had he done? He played it over in his mind again; had he forced her unknowingly? He knew that wasn't true; Rachel had been the one to initiate everything, including the moment he entered her for the first time. But he must have done something to cause her run away from him like that.

He took his cell from his pocket and quickly tapped out a message.

What happened? We need to talk. I meant what I said. Please call me. Jx

His head told him she would not respond, but his heart, ever optimistic, prayed that his phone would chime.

Time would tell whether his head or heart was right.

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