This is obviously about Cat and her family life and I thought that since they don't really feature her family that I'd write this, all these thoughts came to me when I was listening to "Nobody's Home" by Avril Lavigne. That song is one of my favorites and it means the world to me and Cat is one of my favorite character's on the show. This is my first Victorious fic, so please be gentle with your comments. Enjoy.

She doesn't like going home, the house is always empty and every step she takes is echoed through out the entire house. And it doesn't seem to matter how loud she turns on her music or how she sings at the top of her lungs, the loneliness is still there; it clings to her like the suffocating hold of a boa constrictor.

She wishes it'd let her go, but it never does.

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,

She felt it everyday.

And I couldn't help her,

I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

She's bright and sunny everyday at school, she doesn't want anyone to worry about her, and she doesn't want them to suspect that she's lonely, heartbroken and wanting of love. But Cat knows how to make people believe she's happy; she is an actress (a pretty little liar) after all.

"My brother tried making a parachute out his bath robe, he jumped off the roof and broke his ankle," she rambled picking at the salad she was eating a cheerful smile on her face.

She was used to the odd looks she got, and no one ever seemed to question the accuracy or legitimacy of her stories. She was well aware that people thought she was stupid, weird and crazy, Cat knew she wasn't stupid or weird and crazy was only half of the story (in fact it was all of her story, she wouldn't ever admit that).

What's wrong, what's wrong now?

Too many, too many problems.

Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.

It's where she lies, broken inside.

With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.

Broken inside.

She glared miserably at herself in the mirror; her velvet red hair suddenly repugnant to her and her doe brown eyes seemed disgustingly plain and boring, she could see all the holes and freckles marring her skin. All her imperfections seemed to magnify, multiply into a disgusting mess. A stray tear slipped from her eye and trickled down her cheek, roughly she wiped the tear away and picked up the razor; its silver edge glittering in the light of the bathroom.

The blade was calling to her (whispering sweet little promises), and she wants to answer it (she needs to answer it).

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.

You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.

Be strong, be strong now.

Too many, too many problems.

Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.

It's where she lies, broken inside.

With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.

Broken inside.

The music for the song she's supposed to sing for her choir class is blasting through her stereo and echoing through the entire house, her voice is strong as she sings each word never once warbling or hitting a sour note or falters on the wrong key.

When the song ends the loneliness (emptiness) of her house clings to her, wrapping its cold heavy fingers around her neck choking her. Quickly she turns on another song, singing along desperately (this time her voice cracks, warbles and hits the wrong key) to get rid of the disgusting emptiness around her (it's suffocating her), but it's still there despite how loud she sings, despite how tries (tries so, so hard) to make it go away.

And her little silver savior is calling her again, begging her to rip her (disgusting) flesh open and find solace in the trickles of (beautiful and perfect) crimson ink leaving her body she likes to watch it stain her skin and stick to the white cold tiles of her bathroom. Cat doesn't want to, she doesn't want to (but she needs to- she needs it so bad) cut herself open and rip out all the wretched imperfection clinging to her bones.

Her feelings she hides.

Her dreams she can't find.

She's losing her mind.

She's fallen behind.

She can't find her place.

She's losing her faith.

She's fallen from grace.

She's all over the place.

Yeah, oh

She sits in her brothers room wrapped up in one of his old shirts; her mascara staining her cheeks and her heart breaking heavily in her chest. She wants her brother to be here, she wants him to hold her to him and say

"Don't worry Kitty Cat; everything's going to be just fine."

She wants him to smile at her in that goofy way he does and kiss the top of her head and to rub her back. But he's not here; in fact she doesn't know where he is at the moment. (She wonders if her parents think of her brother… she wonders)

She sits in her room looking out his window waiting for him to climb back in, give her a wide grin, and scoop her into his arms and say

"Hey Kitty Cat, long time no see huh?" And of course she'd cry and throw her fists against his chest demanding with tears streaking her cheeks of why he left and why he didn't take her with him.

She still wonders why he didn't take her with him, why he didn't come back like he said he would. She wants him to come back so he can take her away from her empty house and that little blade instantly haunting her mind.

Until she seems him come through his window or hears him sneaking in through the back door, she'll lie (because lying is what cat does best) and make everyone believe that she's happy and that everything is okay.

"My brother tried to cut his hair with gardening shears once, we had to take him to the hospital," she'd say at school with a blank airy smile on her face.

Andrea, Beck and Tori would give her worried concerned looks while Jade simply raised a dark brow at her almost as if she knew that what she just said was a lie.

But they wouldn't ask her if it were true, they never did and Cat wishes they would so she could tell them that her brother ran away from home 3 years ago and she hasn't seen him since.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.

It's where she lies, broken inside.

With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.

Broken inside.

She wants to tell her 'friends' (she's still not sure if she can really call them that) how lonely she is inside her empty, empty house and how she wishes her brother would come back home. Yet, she knows that she can't tell because they wouldn't understand what it's like to feel so empty.

And she can't let them know about her little friend whose silver edge dances against her skin leaving an eruption of crimson dripping from her skin. They wouldn't understand; they'd just call her crazy. (She's definitely not crazy…no, not all the time at least).

She wants to scream it at the top of her lungs; she wants the world to know that she's not as happy as she looks. But each time she readies herself to confess, she realizes that they won't believe her, because she's an actress (a pretty little liar) and a good one too.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

So while the emptiness strangles her and the scars on her wrists and thighs get wider, darker and deeper she feels lost and alone (and she's so scared and confused). She wants someone to hold her tell her that everything will be alright even if she knows it won't (even if everything's going to be worse).

Cat needs to hear those words, but she wants (wishes) that they'd tumble out of her brother's mouth, but he's not home. The tears fall from her eyes, the suffocating silence smothers hers tightening its grip on her throat, that silver demon is calling her again… she doesn't want to answer (but she will).

"Why won't he come back, please… please come back," she whispers into the empty house, sobs shaking her petite body, blood squeezing out of her fresh cuts and splattering onto the white tiles.

She's tired of being alone, she's tired of waiting for her brother to come back from wherever he is to come save her (and she really needs someone to save her). She tired and wants to escape. So she grabs hold of her razor and begins slicing and slashing away at herself digging out the emptiness, the loneliness and disgusting presence of imperfection in her body.

"What have you done to yourself Kitty Cat?" she swears on her life that's her brother's voice and when she looks up out of her open bathroom door (her parents would never be home to see) she believe it really is him standing there with wide horrified eyes (brown eyes just like hers).

"Your back, Drew you came back," she whispers softly her vision going back as her body hits the tile, the blood pouring out around her.

As the darkness sucked her in, she believed her brother's strong arms lifted her up pressing her tight against his chest and cried, his tears mixing into her blood.

"Cat I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, I'm… I'm going to take you to the hospital," her brother said tears and panic choking his words as he carried her down the stairs and out of the house into his car.

A tiny flash of stars surged over her eyes; the darkness still pulling her down, but Cat smiled because she wasn't alone anymore. Her brother came back home and he was saving her, just like she wanted.

If you have any thoughts and/or comments, please leave a review. All my other fics will be updated as soon as possible. :) xoxo