Disclaimer: It's not mine...but I want to have it. :(

Author's note: You wanted it and you will get it. The readers voted for Inferno x Red Alert and I must say, good choice. ^^ I had some trouble to decide what to write first. Why didn't I just go according to the list, you ask? Because this would really kill my motivation to write it. There is no room for creative ideas if you follow the script.

I tried everything! I tried to think of a number but I couldn't. I rolled a dice (but mine goes only to six. XD ) and I tried random numbers on the I-net, but somehow felt cheated since those programs use mathematical formula's and wouldn't be random.

So I took the time and effort to write each one of them down, folded them and put them in a box. After shaking it one or two times I just picked one. Now many would think it's idiotic, but I think it served it's purpose. It can't be more random. XD

~o~o~o~

1. Karma
by Misty Mina

Appearance is the most important thing in the universe. An unspoken rule between the worlds. Everything is based upon it. If you look mean, people will assume you are mean. If you look cute, most people will have the urge to cuddle you.

So no wonder that the twins thought the same thing. Appearance is everything. The way you look is the way you are.

But somehow the rule doesn't really fit with Red Alert. He was a Lamborghini alright. Yet he was neither very tall nor really good looking. (Now really, where does he put his alt mode if he's so short? )

Anyway, Red Alert was a sports car with a powerful engine. So the twins thought their fellow Lamborghini should at least choose a mate, who had a sports car alt mode as well. Like Tracks for example. Others should know in what category their security director belonged to.

To their absolute horror, Red Alert started to take an interest in his bodyguard Inferno.

A fire truck? ...A slow, big, ugly fire truck? You had to be kidding! This would scratch their honor as Lamborghinis. No way! Not if the twins had a say in this!

Something had to be done about this before Inferno might notice and on the top of all reciprocate those feelings. The twins decided it was up to them to stop this madness.

Those two would 'never', 'never ever' be together!

Too bad the twins didn't know the second universal rule.

'Never' ...is Karma's doorbell.

~o~o~o~

The first plan was to make Inferno into something Red wouldn't want. And the best way was to spread some rumors. Like he was a berth hopper or he was never interested in mechs before and never would be. At first things were looking good for the twins and the rumors spread like wildfire.

But somehow due to hearsay, the rumors started to morph into the opposite. Now Inferno was an honest Autobot, who had his optics set on mechs. Which only piqued Red's interest.

Slapping their foreheads, the twins scratched out the first plan. Onto the second.

~o~o~o~

The second plan was to make Red Alert unattractive for Inferno. So that the fire engine would never even consider him as lover. Sideswipe played one prank after another while Sunstreaker tried to break as many rules as he could. Fighting the minibots, trashing the med bay and painting the corridors were the harmless ones. Ok, this landed them in the brig most of the time, but Red Alert was stressed enough to let his glitch run wild.

It worked and Inferno avoided Red Alert. But only because he didn't want to add to Red's stress. It didn't matter why. All that mattered was that he stayed away, which was fine with the Duo.

This lasted only until the day Sideswipe decided to scare the other Lamborghini. He'd seen Red Alert in the rec room sipping on his energon with sparking horns and a light tremble in his movements. Another night without recharge thanks to his yellow twin.

Sunstreaker had walked through the base with a brush and a can of paint, but didn't paint anything. Sometimes he had stopped and glanced at a wall as if he considered it to be the best place for his next painting. But then he shook his helmet and continued his way.

Red Alert couldn't arrest him for merely walking through the base at night and Sunstreaker was off duty the next day anyway. Enough time to recharge. So the only thing the security director could do was to watch the yellow twin carefully. Of course, there never was a painting and Red Alert had been on guard for nothing. Which only resulted in dim, exhausted optics and a very twitchy Red Alert. Something Sideswipe found very amusing.

The red twin crept up behind his unsuspecting victim. It seemed like Red's sensory network wasn't really working when he was tired. An information he filed away for later purposes.

When he was close enough Sideswipe turned up his vocalizer and yelled: "SECURITY BREACH", right next to Red's audio receptors.

In his panic, Red spilled his cube on his chestplate and almost clogged up his intakes because the energon went down the wrong tube.

Sideswipe was almost rolling on the ground with laughter. This was just too good.

Suddenly Inferno stood in the doorway looking like he'd driven on highspeed to get to the rec room. He must have been close when Red Alert had yelped in fright. The next reaction was not something Sideswipe expected.

He'd expected for Inferno to grab him and haul his aft to the brig. Not that the fire engine would just stay and stare at Red Alert like he'd never seen him before. Now really, who would find spilled energon on someone's chassis interesting? But Inferno kept staring and made Red Alert feel uncomfortable.

"What?" The small Lamborghini asked. It was embarrassing to look like a mess in front of your crush.

Shaking his helmet slightly Inferno had the decency to look away before he stomped over to Sideswipe. He took the frontliner in a headlock and brought him out of the rec room. The red twin was too shocked to protest. Had he'd seen it, or imagined it? Inferno's faceplates had a red hue, something the humans would call a blush.

Now he wanted to slam his helmet against a wall. Perhaps he'd not only spoiled their good plan, but also made Inferno look at the security director in a different light.

This called for desperate measures!

~o~o~o~

They really tried everything.

They'd send Red Alert Sword- and Spider lilies in Inferno's name. ...How were they supposed to know that those flowers had nothing to do with swords or spiders which would look like a threat to Red Alert? Stupid humans and the stupid irrational naming of flowers!

They tried to make Inferno look weak and incapable of taking care of himself when they battled the Decepticons. Interfering whenever possible. Ok, he took a few potshots, ruined paintjobs and one or the other dent. Nothing too serious and nothing their medic couldn't fix.

It only resulted in Red Alert taking care of Inferno and said fire engine was enjoying the attention immensely.

Sunstreaker went so far to use permanent marker on Red Alert while he was in recharge. And the marker was really hard to get off. Not like others which could be washed away or wiped off with denatured alcohol.

Red Alert had to use a special solvent which washed off his own paintjob as well, leaving him metaphorically naked. Wheeljack and Ratchet took the time to repaint Red Alert and to polish him as well. When they were finished, the Lamborghini looked better than ever. Even better than Sunstreaker on his best wax-job-days. Needless to say Inferno was mesmerized by Red's now shining beauty.

Their last try was on fourth of July when everyone would celebrate the Independence Day. Sideswipe left a note in the monitor room, which only said that Red should meet Inferno outside. If Inferno would stand up Red, it would surely crush the smaller mech's hopes.

There were music, fireworks, happy humans, but no Inferno.

The twins stood around the corner, already celebrating their victory, when Red Alert came running through the entrance of the Ark. But instead of running straight for the monitor room or his quarters to mope or even cry, the security director practically flung himself into Inferno's arms. The fire truck had been looking for Red Alert and was worried when he couldn't find him.

Stunned Inferno bent slightly down to look at the smaller mech. It wasn't really in Red's nature to be so carefree with touching.

"Red? Wha..." Inferno started concerned, but couldn't really finish the sentence since Red had silenced him with his own lip components.

The twins were close to a spark attack. Wasn't Red Alert freaked out by the fireworks? Not thinking it was all a plot against him? Wasn't he hurt because his crush stood him up? Shouldn't he be, at least, mad that he'd been called out for nothing?

When they separated, Inferno could only stare with dazed optics while Red's faceplates seemed to light up with happiness.

"Thank you Inferno. Thank you so much. ...That was the best Spark Day gift ever."

Inferno didn't even know that it was Red's Spark Day, it was not like he'd told him or anyone else. But he'd be a fool of Starscream's caliber to not take advantage of the situation.

"...Ya're welcome." He said with a slight grin.

The Duo was ready to crash. Ok, Perceptor had calculated everyone's Spark Day, but Earth time was very different from cybertronian time. It could take many years before one's Spark Day would come up. Tough luck for them that Red Alert's had been on this day.

However judging from Red's behavior, he thought the fireworks and the music and all were for him in celebration of his Spark Day and all Inferno's idea. Could this be? That perhaps Red Alert didn't know about the Independence Day?

It was over. The twins were defeated. They had tried and tried again, but the universe was against them. Primus himself was against them!

They were moping and miffed about the whole thing for a few days, but had no other choice than to accept it.

Maybe those two were just meant to be despite everything.

~o~o~o~

end...

YAY, I just loved writing this. Practically wrote itself. Karma is really a bitch. (Call me Karma! XD ) Hope you liked it. ^^