Title: Some Dream By Day
Author: remuslives23
Rating: Hard R/Low NC17
Contains: Sexual Content, Strong Language (including derogatory terms), Infidelity, Physical and Emotional Abuse, Discussion of Addictions, Smoking
Summary: "Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible." - TE Lawrence.
Notes: Non-magic AU written for the rs_games. Thank you to dogsunderfoot for her sharp eye and encouragement. I chose to look to the entire song for inspiration rather than just the chorus. You can find the full lyrics here.
Prompt: 23) Oh, take this longing from my tongue, Whatever useless things these hands have done, Let me see your beauty broken down, Like you would do for one you love

Remus was sitting side on to the door when Sirius arrived, naked to the waist and sucking the guts out of a cigarette. Sirius took a moment to trace the angles and lines of his lean body with his eyes, smiling at the hair curling over the back of his neck, at the jut of a shoulder blade, at the fading bruise that bore testament to Sirius' need to taste. Longing twisted sharp in his stomach as he remembered the explosion of salt and soap on his tongue, and he had to swallow hard against the words of love and devotion that threatened to choke him, that he had no right to say.

He crawled across the bed, shedding his jacket and t-shirt before he licked his way up Remus' knobbly spine. "Hey," he mumbled against Remus' nape, knowing that the vibration of his voice tickled the sensitive skin.

Remus snorted out a laugh, making Sirius' heart leap joyfully in his chest. "Hey," he replied, taking a final drag on the cigarette then stubbing it out in a saucer on the side table. "You're late."

"Sorry," Sirius whispered then closed his lips over the mark on Remus' shoulder and sucked, blood rushing to the surface to freshen the bruise.

Remus abruptly jerked his shoulder away, Sirius' lips pulling off with an audible pop. "Got enough fucking bruises today without you adding to them," Remus grumbled, and Sirius frowned.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, rising to his knees and sliding his arms around Remus' chest. He propped his chin on Remus' shoulder and finally saw the ugly bruising that had closed Remus' eye. "Holy shit! What the fuck happened to you?"

"My dick of a step-father happened to me," Remus seethed, snatching up a pack of smokes and shaking another one out.

Sirius cupped the unhurt side of Remus' face and turned his head gently. Remus sighed and went with the pressure, gaze darting around the room to avoid looking at Sirius. "Fuck," Sirius cursed vehemently, ghosting the pad of his thumb over Remus' cheek and wincing when Remus flinched. "Why...?"

"Because he's a vicious bastard who knows I'll put up with it because I can't afford to move any-fucking-where else yet," Remus snapped, rearing back and reaching for a lighter. "My dad... He is nothinglike my dad was. My dad would never have let her tell me to give up on my dreams. Why the hell is she putting up with this? Why is she...? "

...letting him take the only thing I've got left away from me.

Remus shook his head and tried to light the cigarette, his fingers made clumsy by the tremors that shook him. Sirius put his hand over the lighter, tugging it from Remus' grasp and tossing it on the floor. He did the same with the cigarette then eased a suddenly pliant Remus to the bed, straddling his hips and staring down at him.

"I want to hurt him," he said harshly, dipping his head to press his lips gently to the swollen flesh below Remus' eye. "I want to hurt him like he hurt you."

Remus shuddered underneath him, fisting the sheets as Sirius' tongue lathed the abused skin. "Don't want anything to ever hurt you," Sirius said, breath washing over Remus' skin as he shifted to mouth at Remus' collar bone. "You're mine."

Remus arched up, his back curving gracefully as Sirius' tongue danced across his belly. Sure hands made short work of Remus' fly, his nose nudging the leaking cock from its cotton confines as he murmured, "You're my dream."

"You'll hurt me," Remus whispered, his head falling back as Sirius rubbed the slit with the tip of his tongue. "You'll get married and be too busy fucking your wife to see me."

"No," Sirius breathed, kissing the knob of Remus' hip. "Always want this, want you. I want to run away with you. I want to always be with you. You're mydream, Remus."

He slid his mouth over Remus' cock, loving the stretch of his lips, the weight on his tongue. He was so engrossed in the taste and smell and feel of Remus that he almost missed his mournful reply...

"Everyone wakes up eventually."

o0o

Sirius fidgeted by the counter, wanting to be anywhere but here watching Amy coo over their matching wedding bands. He checked his watch; he was meeting Remus after these wedding errands were finished and was counting down the minutes. He heard Amy fall into raptures over the size of the diamonds in her ring and her excited squeals speared through Sirius' head like daggers.

"Christ," he muttered under his breath. He turned away from her, an intense headache blindsiding him. He put a hand on a glass display case to steady himself, blinking rapidly to try and clear his clouded vision.

"Are you alright, Sirius?"

Sirius plastered a smile on his face and looked back over his shoulder at her. "Fine," he said, hoping he sounded convincing. "Headache."

"Would you like some water, sir?" the clerk asked, scooting off to a back room when Sirius nodded an affirmative.

"Aren't they beautiful?" Amy enthused, waving the rings under Sirius' nose.

"Lovely," he agreed absently, trying to avoid her flailing hand.

She stilled and looked at him with narrowed eyes. "You could be a bit more cheerful," she said, snappishly. "These are our wedding rings. You'll be wearing one of these for the rest of your life."

Sirius turned away before she could see his horrified expression. The rest of his life... Oh, God.A glass of water, glistening with condensation, appeared before his eyes, and he accepted it gratefully.

"Nerves are very common, sir," the clerk said helpfully. "Chamomile tea will help."

"Thanks," mumbled Sirius, taking a long drink from the glass as the clerk bounced back to Amy.

Sirius held the cool glass against his heated cheek, concentrating on keeping his breathing even. For the rest of his life. Amy laughed loudly at something the clerk said, and Sirius cringed. He was going to be spending the rest of his life with Amy's high-pitched fake laugh.

It's forever. It's... a long time. It's normal to be completely freaked out by that.

So why, when he thought about spending his entire existence listening to the low, musical chuckle that came right from Remus' heart, was he filled with contentment instead of fear?

He thought about what Remus had said the last time they were together. "Everyone wakes up eventually."Remus had it the wrong way around, Sirius thought. When he was with Remus, that was real. This... He glanced at Amy who was now covetously eyeing a pair of pearl earrings. This was the dream he wanted to wake up from.

o0o

They didn't fall into bed right away. Remus counted his morning takings, his mind obviously elsewhere, while Sirius hung his fresh-from-the-tailor suit on the wardrobe door. He undressed, letting his expensive trousers and shirt drop unceremoniously to the floor, and took great pains to step on them as he headed for the bathroom. He pissed then washed up, splashing cool water on his face.

"Got smokes?" Remus called, thumping about in the other room. "I've run out."

'In my jacket," he called back, staring at his dripping face in the grimy mirror. Dark circles under his eyes stained his skin, and he was tired, exhausted from trying to reconcile his two lives. This cheap and nasty hotel room was his oasis, his place of peace, and Remus, his lifeline. More and more frequently, he dreamed of running away, of him and Remus living in a flat of their own, Remus playing his guitar naked while he composed, and Sirius doing something useful – bar work, labouring, anything – to feed them until Remus made it big; then he'd open his own antiquity store. It would be so simple with just the two of them.

Romantic fantasies. In real life, we'd be freezing, starving, and too tired and pissed off to fuck.

But still, the fantasy lingered.

He scrubbed his face dry with the threadbare towel provided then stepped out into the bedroom. Remus was sitting on the edge of the bed, cigarettes in one hand, a red velvet box in the other. He looked up when Sirius came closer, and smiled grimly.

"They're nice."

Sirius sat beside him, throat going dry and heart pounding in renewed panic and resentment at one more reminder of his other life inserting itself into this one, into his time with Remus which was so very rare and precious. "Put them away," he mumbled, but Remus slid one of the rings – his – out of the box. He jammed his finger into it then held it away from his body in a tragic parody of what Amy had done just hours earlier.

"It's too big," Remus complained, letting it slide off his finger into his cupped hand. "Ah, doesn't suit me anyway."

"I don't want to do this," Sirius whispered, his voice a hoarse whisper.

"Then don't."

Sirius closed his eyes. He wished it were that easy. A hand touched his, and Sirius welcomed the warm touch, then something cold and constrictive slid over his finger. His eyes opened and he wanted to cry at the sight of the ring curled perfectly around his finger. It was a mockery. His hands - hands that had stroked Remus' skin, that had been inside him, that belongedto Remus - stamped with a sign of ownership by another.

"It looks good on you," Remus said, harshly before he pushed himself to his feet. Sirius' hand shot out, grasping Remus' arm and pulling him back down to the bed.

"Don't," he begged, wrapping his arms tightly around Remus and burying his face in his neck. He trembled, fear overwhelming him at the thought of losing this, of losing his anchor. "Please, don't."

"I didn't think you'd actually... Christ, you're really doing it,' Remus said, his voice cracking. "You're really fucking doing this."

Sirius' hands shook as he tried to wriggle the ring off his finger while keeping his arms firmly locked around Remus. He finally wrangled it off, and immediately, he felt like he could breathe once again. He tossed the gold band towards his clothes, not caring where it landed and pressed his lips to Remus' skin. "I don't want to," he said, pleading with Remus to understand. "You know I don't want to."

"Then come away with me."

Remus' voice was low and urgent in a way he'd never heard before, and Sirius, shock reverberating through him, pulled back far enough to see Remus' face. "What?"

Remus stared at him, determination the only discernible emotion in his blue eyes. 'I'm leaving," he told Sirius. "I've saved enough money to get out of here, and I'm going as soon as I can."

"Why?"

"Because I can't stand this anymore," Remus said, rubbing at his nose in agitation. '"You... you are the only good thing in my life, Sirius, and you're..." He exhaled – short and sharp – and shook his head. "I've got to go. Get away from this place."

"Wh... where will you go?" Sirius stammered, fear making his tongue stumble over the words. "What about this? Us?"

Remus' eyes narrowed, and he shoved Sirius off him. "I'll go wherever I want," he said as he stood, running a hand through sandy-brown hair. "And I've just asked you to come with me."

"I... want to, but..." Sirius grabbed Remus' hands. "I have commitments. My family, the business, need me..."

"Ineed you."

Sirius bit his lip, feeling as though his heart was being ripped wide open. "I can't go. Stay with me."

Remus' face hardened. "I can't." He pulled his hands from Sirius', grabbed his coat and his guitar case, and headed for the door.

"Remus!"

He turned in the doorway, face etched in sorrow. "What about us?" Sirius asked again, voice breaking so badly he could barely understand his own words.

"There is no 'us'," Remus said sadly, eyes shining a bit too bright. "There never really was, was there?"

And then, he was gone, and it was the taste of salt on his lips that made Sirius aware of the tears dripping down his cheeks.

o0o

Remus stuffed the last of his clothes in his rucksack and looked around the room. His sweeping gaze stuttered over a framed picture of himself as a toddler with his parents. He considered it for a moment then zipped the rucksack shut and slung it over his shoulder.

A car door slammed at the front of the house, and Remus swore. A quick look told him that his mother and Joe were back early from their lunch time session at the pub, and he hesitated, wondering if he should wait until later to make his exit. If he walked out now, there might be a scene with his mother. Or, even worse, she might not care at all. She might be glad to see the back of him, and Remus wasn't sure he could lose Sirius and the fragile remains of his relationship with his mother all in one day.

"Bugger it," he said eventually, tightening his grip on the strap of his bag. He made it to the bedroom door then turned back, quickly taking the photograph out of the frame and shoving it into the pocket of his jeans.

Joe didn't bother looking up when he walked into the living room, but his mother did. She had a tentative smile on her face that faded when she caught sight of the rucksack. When her eyes met Remus', he saw a combination of sadness and understanding. She nodded, glancing at Joe, then inclined her head towards the kitchen. She brushed past Remus, but, as he turned to follow, Joe finally noticed him.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Remus sighed then looked back at the older man. "I'm leaving," he said heavily, cursing up a silent blue streak when Joe frowned and struggled to his feet.

"You're just deserting your mother?" Joe slurred, swaying a little as he glared at Remus through heavily lidded eyes. "Always said you were a selfish bastard."

"Piss off," Remus snapped, turning to leave the room.

"Little faggot," Joe taunted, and Remus whirled around.

"Yes," he hissed. "I am." He smiled a triumphant smile and held up his hands. "You were right. These arethe hands of a fairy." He wriggled his fingers tauntingly. "I've been told they're very good for probing..."

He ducked as Joe seized a lamp and threw it at him, a shard of pottery nicking his cheek as it bounced off the wall behind him. Ellen ran back into the room and screamed, "Stop!"

Remus straightened, glaring at Joe who, to his surprise, backed down. Ellen turned to Remus and shoved something at him. "Take it and go," she urged, as Remus' hands automatically came up to take what she'd handed him. She raised herself to the tips of her toes and kissed Remus' cheek. "Call me when you're settled, or if you need anything."

Frowning, Remus nodded, and Ellen patted his cheek. "I love you, Remus," she whispered. "I always will, but you're doing the right thing. You've always been brave - just like your father."

She let her hand slide down to his chest and gave him a little push. Remus nodded and mouthed, "I love you," before he left his childhood home for the last time, a fistful of cash clutched in his hand.

He paid for a room in his and Sirius' usual hotel and dumped his stuff in the middle of the floor before flopping onto the bed with a sigh. He was really doing this. He was really leaving. Turning his head to the side, he stared at the empty space beside him, a space Sirius usually filled, his light, summer-scented aftershave underscoring the sharp perfume of their combined sweat and come.

Remus swallowed hard, rolling over and burying his head in the pillow, pretending he could still smell Sirius there. Was he really doing the right thing? He could stay here, find a bedsit, and he and Sirius could...

He sat up as nausea burned in his gut. Sirius was getting married in just a few days. Although they could easily continue this, it wouldn't be long until Remus was pushed aside for family functions, births, anniversaries... all the responsibilities married life brought. And Remus would be stuck in a crappy flat waiting for Sirius to make some time for him.

As much as he loved Sirius – and he didlove him – he wasn't prepared to stay in this godforsaken place waiting for the knock at the door.

But he wasn't ready to let Sirius go without giving him every chance to change his mind.

o0o

Sirius slipped inside the hotel room, almost tripping over Remus' rucksack. He stared at it for a long moment then looked at Remus with a devastated expression. "Remus..."

"I'm leaving in a few days," he said without preamble as he stared up at the ceiling, unable to meet Sirius' eye. He blindly tossed a packet of cigarettes to Sirius who caught them awkwardly. "Smoke?"

Sirius shook his head, dropping the carton on the dresser before walking slowly across the room. "You can't go," he pleaded, sinking to the edge of the bed beside Remus' sprawled figure. "Don't leave me."

He slid his hand into Remus' and Remus closed his eyes against the sting of tears. "I'm not leaving you," he said, twining their fingers. "I'm leaving town. It's your decision as to whether I leave alone."

Sirius was silent, and Remus, with a sudden swell of hope, peered at him through his eyelashes. Sirius was gnawing at his lower lip, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. "Come with me," Remus breathed, sitting up abruptly. He caught Sirius' face in his palms and forced the other man to look him in the eye. "We could have this all the time." He punctuated each point with a kiss to Sirius' face. "Be together every night, wake up together every morning, never have to rush through a fuck because we've got to be somewhere else..."

Sirius turned his head, Remus' final kiss falling on his lips. Their mouths moved slowly together, the kiss tasting of desperation and longing. Remus pushed Sirius down onto the mattress, propping himself up over him as the kiss deepened.

Clothes were slowly peeled away and every inch of skin lashed with lips and tongue. Their bodies undulated in a practiced dance, limbs stretching and elongated, backs arching in an elegant curve. When Sirius whispered, "Fuck me slow," Remus obliged, breaching him inch by torturous inch in short, shallow thrusts. He set a leisurely pace, dipping his head with every push to kiss Sirius. When Sirius began to chant his name, his fingers bruising Remus' hips, Remus added a twist that made his cock bump against Sirius' prostate.

He brought Sirius, and himself, right up to the edge and back again and again until he thought he'd go mad from the ebb and flow. Sirius dragged his fingers through Remus' sweat-damp hair, pulling him down for a deep, breathless kiss. His cock slid between their slick stomachs and, the friction too much now, Sirius came long and hard, sobbing out Remus' name as his muscles clamped down.

Remus cried out then pressed his face into Sirius' throat, teeth scraping over his pulse point as he rocked through an orgasm that felt too much like a goodbye.

"Can I stay tonight?" asked Sirius a few minutes later.

Remus rolled onto his side, head on Sirius' shoulder. "Yeah," he said despondently, realising this was Sirius' attempt to hold on to him, to keep Remus with him for as long as he could. "I'd like that."

The next morning, dressed and coiffed, Sirius hesitated in the doorway. "Remus, please..."

"I'm leaving in two days," Remus said firmly, slapping a band aid on his breaking heart because he'd rather die than let Sirius see how fucking much this hurt. "I'm going to be in town until seven o'clock Saturday night."

Sirius looked stricken. "An hour after the wedding ceremony," he said faintly.

Remus lifted his chin, hooking his thumbs into his belt loops. "I'm going to be at the platform where we met until then," he said, "and if you're not there when the seven o'clock train gets in, I'll take that to mean goodbye."

"Can't..." Sirius' eyes darted away as his voice failed him. He cleared his throat. "Can't you wait and see if we can work this out?"

Remus cocked an eyebrow. "You want to have your cake and eat me, too?" he asked sarcastically.

"It's not like that," Sirius protested.

"It's exactlylike that," Remus retorted, his resolve to stay calm and cool snapping like a twig. "You are happy for me to give up my dream of getting out of here, of making a go of it somewhere as a songwriter so you can keep getting your dick sucked, but you aren't prepared to give up a damn thing for me."

Sirius opened his mouth then closed it. He shut his eyes as if gathering strength then nodded. "You're right," he said quietly. "You're right. But I'm in too deep. I don't think I can get out of this without too many people getting hurt. The stakes are too high now."

He touched his fingertips to Remus' chest, just over his heart, silently asking Remus to understand, but Remus stepped back, out of his reach. "Well, this way, only I get hurt," he said grimly, then turned his back on Sirius.

He was nearly in the bathroom when he heard Sirius say, "I love you."

His already broken heart shattered into a million pieces, but somehow he found the strength to reply, "And I love you. But it's not enough, is it?"

Then he closed the bathroom door behind him before Sirius could answer.

o0o

The door slammed shut behind Sirius and he paused in his relentless pacing. "Isn't it meant to be bad luck," he said, smiling weakly at Amy who was resplendent in her ivory lace gown, "to see the bride before the wedding?"

"It's also bad luck to have the groom's face look like a slapped arse in the society page photographs," she retorted, crossing her arms over her chest. "What is wrong with you?"

Sirius gazed at her for a long moment, seriously considering telling her the truth. It'd be a relief, really. To be able to stop pretending and admit that his heart was catching a train out of town today.

"Nothing is wrong," he said finally, turning away to tie his cravat. "I'm just nervous."

"Look," she said, stalking up to him and poking a finger at his chest. "I think it's time for some honesty, don't you?"

Sirius blinked, confused, as she continued, her voice hard and a granite in her green eyes that looked oddly familiar, but that he couldn't quite place. "Neither of us are making a love match here, but we can help each other out. I want your name because, despite your father's exploits over the last few years, he hasn't undone all the hard work your grandparents did. And, once I'm your wife, I'll take over the business and build it back up into an empire to be envied."

"The business is mine," Sirius objected sharply, and she looked at him askance.

"Didn't you pay attention at all during the pre-nup negotiations?" she asked patronisingly. "The business becomes ours when we wed. And, if you ever find the balls to try and leave me for whoever it is you've been fucking lately, it'll become mine outright."

She smiled triumphantly as Sirius' face drained of colour. "Your mother must have been desperate to get her social standing back to agree to that condition."

Suddenly, Sirius knew why that calculating, uncompromising glint in her eye seemed a little off. It was because he usually saw it in his mother's eyes.

"So, I'm going to finish dressing, we're going to get through this ceremony, and then, we can get on with our lives," she said carelessly, heading for the door. "Oh, and I don't care who you've got in your bed as long as you don't give me anything or humiliate me by getting caught with your pants down."

Sirius sat down heavily on the bed as she let herself out. He had agreed to this marriage in order to save his family name, to save the business his grandfather had built, but the business wouldn't even belong to his family anymore, would never be his, unless he remained trapped in a marriage to a woman exactly like his mother. Forever.

He remembered his father's shaking hands as he tested Sirius on his antiquity knowledge. His life had driven him to drink, had forced him to take pleasure outside his marriage, had made him agree to hand over his legacy to strangers in order to please a social-climbing wife.

That's going to be me. In twenty years, I'll be as broken and pathetic as my father.

"Sirius?" He glanced at the open door and saw his father's red-rimmed eyes peering at him quizzically. "We need to leave for the church now."

Sirius stood without thinking and gave him a curt nod, buying himself some time by checking his appearance in the mirror before easing his jacket off the hanger. "Dad," he asked quietly as he pulled the coat on. "What would you do? If you were me?"

He turned and looked at his father's stony face. "I'd do exactly what I did do twenty-two years ago," he said testily. "I'd put what the family needed first."

"And if you had another option?"

Orion took a step forward into the room. "There areno other options," he hissed. "If you don't make this match, our name will be worth nothing. It will destroy us."

"And if this deal destroys me?"

Orion narrowed his eyes, hesitating for what felt like an eternity before answering. "The car will be leaving in ten minutes. Don't keep us all waiting."

His words hit Sirius like a blow from a hammer and, off balance, he took a step back. Orion threw him a warning glare then left the room, closing the door softly behind him. Sirius put out a hand, groping desperately for the bed, for support. His fingers grazed the mattress and he stumbled back, sinking down on the bed and burying his face in his hands. His father knew about the deal. His father was throwing Sirius to the wolves to save what he had lost, to save his name. His father knew exactly how this felt – to be forced into a marriage with someone he didn't love – and he expected Sirius to go ahead with it anyway.

He began to shake, fury boiling inside him. He was notgoing to be their sacrifice. If he walked away, he would be saying goodbye to his dreams of running the family business, but if he didn't... He thought of Remus and turned his wrist to look at his watch. It wasn't too late, but, while his family would be no loss, was he really going to be able to walk away from the opportunity he'd been waiting for since he was old enough to talk?

He was going to give up one dream for another today. He just had to decide which one he couldn't live without.

o0o

Remus leaned against the wall, watching as people shouldered their way in and out of the train. He knocked the heel of his sand shoe against the ground and checked his watch again. Two minutes later than the last time he checked. Against his will, his eyes shifted to the entrance, darting from face to face before Remus berated himself for clinging so desperately to one last scrap of hope and tore his gaze away.

His head kept telling him not to be a fool, that there was no way Sirius would give up a certain, well-financed future to run away with a broke busker, but his foolish heart leaped every time a dark head appeared in the crowd.

Seven o'clock, Lupin. Not a second longer. He's had enough time.

He splayed his fingers against the wall and let his head fall back. This spot – this very spot – was where he and Sirius had met. He had been singing – a Leonard Cohen mix, he recalled – and Sirius had sat on the bench opposite for nearly an hour before he approached, dropping a twenty pound note in Remus' case. They'd talked for several minutes, attraction bubbling between them immediately, then Sirius asked if he could buy Remus a drink. Remus asked if drink was a euphemism and told Sirius he wasn't a whore, but he'd fuck him for free. Then Sirius had smiled that glorious smile and Remus was utterly captivated.

Their hands had been wrapped around each other's cocks fifteen minutes later.

Remus sighed and glanced down at his wristwatch. His stomach twisted painfully as time ticked over, and the lingering hope faded.

"Time to wake up now," he whispered as the seven o'clock train pulled up to the platform.

He heaved his rucksack over his shoulder, picked up his guitar case, and headed for the opening door, pushing his way through a gap in the assembled throng. The bag containing his entire life fell with a thump beside his feet as he settled into a seat opposite the door. Remus braced the guitar case between his spread thighs and determinedly averted his gaze, refusing to watch the door close on any chance of a future with Sirius.

The train took off with a lurch and Remus' stomach churned. He shut his eyes as someone jostled his shoulder, hiding the hot tears that prickled insistently behind his closed eye lids. His fingers clenched around the strap of his guitar case as he fought back the urge to leap from the moving train.

This is what I need to do for me. Bugger Sirius fucking Black.

He inhaled deeply then slowly let the breath go. "This is the right thing to do," he muttered to himself then his eyes snapped open as warm air wafted over his ear and a low, husky – God, so very familiar- voice murmured, "Yes it is."

Remus stared at the other man, eyes hungrily devouring the sight of the man for whom he'd fallen so hard. "Is it you?" he whispered tremulously, the pleading hope in his voice tangible even over the clacking, shuddering momentum of the train and the buzz of conversation around them. "Or am I dreaming?"

Sirius slid his hand alongside Remus' on the seat between them, hooking his little finger over Remus'. "I'm real," he said with a soft smile. "This is real." He slipped his hand under Remus' and pressed something hard and circular against his palm. "Sorry I was late. I had to make sure I got everything I needed, everything I was owed."

Remus turned his hand and stared down at the gleaming pocket watch cupped in his hand. "For the oldest son," Sirius explained. "Handed down on the day he celebrates finding the love of his life." Sirius closed Remus' fingers around the watch then wrapped his own around the fisted hand and smiled. "This watch has seen a lot in its lifetime. I want to add some memories of my own. With you. Together."

Remus smiled back then, as the train screeched to a slow stop and bodies swarmed around them, he took advantage of the confusion and brushed his lips quickly over their joined hands. "Together,' he repeated, slotting their hands between their almost-touching thighs then settling back against the seat. He leaned towards Sirius, perhaps a little too close for proprietary. "We're real."

"No need for dreaming anymore," Sirius said quietly, and Remus' smile widened as the doors slid shut and the train bore them away.

fin.