Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley and other respectable parties. This story is purely for entertainment purposes and not to be sold anywhere.

This is a work of fiction, any similarity or likeness to any events or persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

A/N: Another M-rated story. It's not a lemon, but does have some heavy sexual themes so it's there just in case. This story was intended to go as a chapter for Life at St. Joel's but due to the recent praise from my last M-rated story, and that this story breaks canon so much that it would probably shoot me like a canon (get it?), I decided to be a little bit more detailed with the chapter idea. Hope you like it.

Just a small little one-shot for funzies.

Voice4TheMute Presents

"Lisa! There you are!"

"Scott, I TOLD you I would be here…I gave you the passcode to get pass the electronic lock, remember?" I said to him, my hands resting on my hips as I saw him walk through the double doors of the school theater. St. Joel's had a marvelous size theater: two stories high, an opera-size stage, seats to house the student body and teachers, and out of all school facilities, no one messes with this building. Our performing arts, as well as our football team, were the shinning jewels of St. Joel's. Only a handful of students are allowed inside the theater when it's not in use…and I'm one of them.

"So Scott, what can I help you with?"I asked, crossing my arms across my chest and raising an eyebrow at him. Scott asked if I could help him with something in private. And with his recent endeavor of making Kimberly Pine his girlfriend, Scott was spending more time with her and less time with me. But I can't complain. Within the short timeframe that Scott's been dating her, I manage to join the theater club as well as land a role in this fall's theater presentation. It's a small role, but big enough to give me access to the theater. So it helped us all out I suppose.

…don't know how I feel about Kim dating Scott though…

"Uh…I don't know how to ask this…" Scott hesitated as he diverted his attention from me to the ground to the spotlights on the ceiling. He was scratching his head nervously and I was tapping my foot impatiently for this answer.

"Just come out and say it Scott. I mean, it can't be that bad of a request." I said to him as he looked back at me, sensing the tension in his body lessen when I said that to him.

"Well…" he started as he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "…can I kiss you?"

Teach me, Lisa! 028

I felt my face get really warm really fast. My head started to feel heavy from the request.

Here I thought Scott wanted to copy the history homework or something…but a kiss? What? I've been diligent in keeping my feelings in. No hints to anyone but myself. Could Scott have seen right through me?

"What? What the-! Scott? Are you on crack or something?" I asked as I slightly turned away from him to hide how red my face is right now. "What about Kim? Did you forget that you have a girlfriend?"

"What? No! I mean…let's see if I can rephrase this…" Scott said as he tapped his chin with this finger. "Can I…? Uh…practice kissing…with you?" He said again in an unconvincing and unconfident way. I felt myself get embarrassed again at the word combination of 'kissing' and 'you'.

"And exactly WHY do you want to do that? If you want to practice kissing, go practice with Kim. It's called 'making out'." I said as I began to walk away from him.

"Well…you said that you have experience right?"

"Yes…I was in a relationship in my sophomore year before coming here to St. Joel's." I said as I turned my head towards him, wondering where he was going with this train of thought.

"Well…Kim hasn't really kissed anyone either. And me, well, I never had a girlfriend. I'm just scared that I'll lose her because of a stupid mistake. Or because I'm inexperience." Scott said, a hint of depression in his voice.

"But you and Kim are in the same boat. She won't leave you just because you can't kiss correctly. Just…watch a chick flick and copy what they do."

"Please Lisa! Let me practice one kiss on you. Maybe two kisses, tops!"

"Ok, you gotta stop saying that out loud." I warned him as I felt nervous again.

"Please Lisa? Just…tell me what I'm doing wrong."

I shifted my eyes towards him then looked around at the various exits of the theater room. I knew Scott wouldn't leave me along about this so even if I ran, he will find me the next day and ask me again. At least in here, no one can come in unless they were part of the theater tech.

It would be an excellent way to help me practice separating my personal life with my stage life…and I've always wondered what kissing Scott Pilgrim would be like.

I took a deep breath before giving him my final answer. "Fine, you can practice kissing on me." I said, trying not to hint I was actually excited about it.

"Really? Great!" Scott said as he hurried towards me. I saw how fast he advanced at me and I raised my arms t stop the testosterone locomotion that was Scott Pilgrim.

"Whoa Scott! Down boy! No need to bum rush me! Just promise me that this doesn't leave the theater room and PLEASE don't tell Kim about this! As far as I'm concerned, this day…" I said as I gestured my hands to italicize the next part, "… never happened!"

"Alright. I promise. This stays in here…" Scott said as our vision locked for a minute. I still felt embarrassed as I knew that the kiss was going to happen as any second.

This was it…my first kiss with Scott Pilgrim.

"…I guess I'll kiss you now."

"Urg…" I groaned as the plent up excitement of the kiss died…hard. "Scott. Tip number one. Don't announce it."

"But how does she know it's coming?"

"Know it's-! Scott, that's just weird." I said to him, as if I'm trying to teach romance to a ten year old…not that they would want to know that stuff at that age. "You don't ask, you feel it. Or wait for the perfect moment or some kind of signal. If Kim is the spontaneous type then all you need to do is just kiss her!"

"Just kiss her?" Scott asked, rather confused.

"Yes, just kiss the hell out of-" but before I could finish my sentence, I felt a pair of soft lips press up against mine. My eyes widen as my vision was suddenly blurred by Scott's head. His kiss was tender as I felt his lips slowly pursed over my upper lip. I felt my eyes slowly close as my body indulge in Scott's spontaneous kiss. It was all I ever wanted…

…just me and Scott alone and making out…

…but this wasn't a make-session. In fact, it wasn't even a session. It was one good kiss. I felt my eyes open as I saw Scott just stand there, his lips still locked on my upper lip and his eyes shut like there's no tomorrow. My eyes started to dart around, just to make sure time didn't freeze and I'm not stuck in a time warp.

What the…that's it? One kiss? The hell? I gently pushed Scott away and he looked at me with hopeful eyes…probably anticipating good news.

"So how did I do?"

"Scott, you're suppose to kiss her some more! Not just one good kiss!" I said to him, but he looked at me with even more hopeful eyes.

"You mean that was a good kiss?" Scott asked as I averted my eyes away from him.

"…yes that was a good one. A really good one. I'm actually kinda still flustered by that one." I said, not wanting to look at him straight in the eyes. I wasn't lying either. That kiss sparked something in me. Something that craved more.

"Oh…ok. Well, so what can I do to improve?"

"Well, for one…" I started as I regained my composure. "You need to kiss her more. If you can, keep kissing her like that first kiss. Then she'll be putty in your hand. Trust me." I said as tried to recall the image of Scott's face as he kissed me. "Oh, and also don't close your eyes so hard. I mean, it looked like you were straining yourself in keeping your eyes closed."

"But don't people normally close their eyes when they kiss someone?"

"Yes, but not like there's a Vice Grip clamping their eyes shut!" I said to him as he nodded at me. My body started to relax but Scott was still staring at me, as if he was waiting for something. "…yes Scott?"

"Can we practice again?" He asked as I sighed, trying to mentally prepare myself again.

"Ok, just give me a moment will you? I gotta…'get into character'." I said to him as I rotated my shoulders and closed my eyes, trying to concentrate on the person I'm going to portray…

…a girl that's betraying her two best friends.

"What do you mean by 'getting into character'?" Scott asked as I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"Well, I hate to break it to you Scott, but what you're doing isn't exactly 'kosher' in…well, ALL relationships. I mean, kissing a girl that isn't your girlfriend? You'll be paying for this in hell you know." I said to him. "But…as an upcoming actress, I will probably have to stage kiss a lot of guys. So I gotta get use to it. In order to not let the kiss get to me personally, I gotta separate my personal feelings with my character's feelings."

"I don't get it."

"I didn't expect you to, Scott." I said to him as I turned to him, now focused and now convinced I was someone else.

I'm no longer Lisa Miller. I'm Sarah Lesora. A girl who's trying to help her friend in kissing. She doesn't like Scott. She has no feelings for him. He-

My eyes shot wide as I felt Scott's lips press up against mine, once again, unannounced. I felt my heart race again as Scott's first kiss was as soft and tender as I remembered it, gently kissing my upper lip and sucking at it gently. I felt a moment of separation as he continued to kiss me, each kiss as meaningful and passionate as the next. My head was spinning. It was hard to concentrate…hard to think straight…

I'm Sarah Lesora…I'm Sarah Lesora. She has no feelings for Scott…! She has no feelings for…!

I unconsciously raised both of my arms upwards and wrapped them around Scott's body and gently pulled him forward. I felt Scott's body shake, catching him off guard, as I pulled him in, but he responded in kind by wrapping his own arms around my body. His body was warm. His lips…soft and caring. His embrace, strong and secure. I felt safe in his arms, love in his lips, and warm against his body. It's all I ever wanted…but I knew it was all a lie.

She has no feelings for Scott! Lisa…snap out of it! Stop kissing him! You can't fall in love with him!

Scott broke away from me as I found myself leaning forward to kiss him some more but I missed his lips by an inch. Scott was panting, trying to catch his breath.

"What's wrong?" I said, a dazed but very relaxed expression was on my face as we held each other close.

"Ran out of air…" He said as he laughed nervously. I gently shook my head at how oblivious and inexperience he is at kissing and making out with someone.

"Breath through your nose."

"What?"

"Breath through your nose, you idiot. It's not rocket science." I said to him as I placed a hand on his check. "And don't be afraid to kiss other parts of her body too. Like her cheek…her neck…down her collarbone." I said looked down my own body, imagining what Scott's lips could do to me. "…and using your hands won't hurt. Just be mindful of where you are, ok?" I said to him as I felt both of his hands go from around my waist and travel up my back. I felt my body arc as his touch as I pulled his face towards me and started kissing him.

Crap! I started the kiss that time! Break away from-

But then, Scott started getting into it himself. I felt his hands guide up and down my back as it felt like he was trying to get under my bra strap. I small moan of approval escaped my lips as I felt my lips part. Then Scott caught me by surprise again. I felt his tongue gently licking my upper lip. I shivered at the thought, but I gave into the idea. I parted my own lips and met his tongue with my own, giving him the green light to continue to do what he's doing. The kissing became more passionate, our tongues coiling and playfully circling in our mouths while Scott's hands were feeling the curves of my body. His kisses slowly moved from my lips to my cheek and slowly down my neck. Another moan of approval left my mouth as I brought my hands up to his brown hair and combed it closer to me. I was in full bliss and I wanted to take in everything. I wanted more…so much more that I was contemplating something that I thought I would never would have considered up until now… But mentally, it was a different story.

Lisa, this is getting out of hand! You MUST stop this NOW! This is all a lie! All deceit! He's not doing this for you…he's doing it for KIM!

"Scott…" I said, trying to bring myself back to reality to get things under control again. "…I think that's good enough." I said but he continued to kiss my neck and slowly started to descend to my chest. "Scott…stop. Please…" I said as his hands were now feeling my breast, something I never would have thought Scott would do or even come this far into our little 'practice' session. "Scott!" I yelled as I gripped hair and pulled it upwards to make him look at me in eyes.

"Ahh! Sorry! Sorry…! Got…lost in the moment I suppose." He said, his face a bit red. "…so how did I do?"

"G-g-good. You did well. Um…nothing I can add…I think." I said, flustered and very uncomfortable in our current situation. Scott released me and slowly regained his composure as did I. I think it was now we realize what we were just doing with one another and we could no longer look at each other straight in the eyes.

"Um…so…I guess…thanks?"

"Yeah…that's um, was good. I don't think you need help. Just…go find Kim alright?"

"Alright."

"And for the love of God, Scott. Don't TELL HER what happened here." I warned him as Scott hesitantly, but eventually started to walk towards the theater exit and left the building. I couldn't help but think of the events that just took place here. What Scott did…what he did with his lips…his hands…

"Oh my God..I'm so uncomfortably warm right now." I said aloud as I started fanning myself with both of my hands. That 'practice' session I had with him just now has definitely taken its toll on me. I t was like a fantasy come true…not exactly what I wanted it to be like but it'll do.

Dammit, I must stay professional! I can't allow personal feelings get in the way with acting! That was a terrible performance on my part. What if that happens on stage? What will I do? I was supposed to be acting right? I was 'acting' as a neutral friend giving kissing advice to a friend. Or was I acting as a 'friend' but really wanted to kiss him…?

…also the fact that I'm a little turned on and very sexually flustered isn't helping any…

"Gah! This is so frustrating!" I said as I wrapped my arms around my stomach, giving myself a reassuring hug. "That Scott Pilgrim…getting me so worked up…" My skin was still sensitive and I would feel the touch of my hands through my uniform. It felt good…really good. For a minute, I thought it was Scott's hands touching my body once more.

"Mmm…Scott…" I softly moan as I moved a hand upwards, feeling out the natural curves of my body as Scott did. I recounted the memory, the feeling, the lust I had for Scott as he continued to kiss me on my lips…down my neck…feeling my body…I grazed over the area were Scott kissed and sucked my neck and soon…I found my other hand moving south…down towards my-

"LISA? You in here?"

OH SHI-

I immediately dropped my hands as I looked around the supposedly empty theater, praying to God that no one saw what I was doing with myself…or with Scott for that matter.

"Y-y-yes? Who's there? I answered, looking around again. A whole mess of emotions were surging through me: confused, scared, nervous, timid, flustered, but mostly…uncomfortably turned on. Off in the corner of my eye, I saw movement from the front entrance to the theater. There, poking her head through the double doors, was Kim Pine.

Oh God, of all people to see at this very moment!

"H-hey Kim! What are you doing here?" I asked, unsure what to d with my hands. Cross them? Rest them on my hip? "How do you have access here anyways?"

"Student council told me to check the light and stuff to make sure it's all working. Since when did a junior representative had to do maintenance work, I have no idea. Plus it gives me a chance to talk to you. You know, assuming you'll be here." She said as she walked towards me. "So what are you doing here Lisa? Practicing?"

"Uh…yeah. But just finished practice." I said, knowing that she'll never understand the irony of her comment. "So what did you want to talk about?" I asked, locking eye contact with her. I saw her eyes widen and her face turn a light pink. She then turned around and started to walk away from me.

"Forget it. It's nothing. It's stupid. You're stupid." She said as she hurried towards the door. My jaw dropped as she insulted me and walked away. I quickly reached for her and manage to take hold of her arm and I pulled her into an embrace.

"Can't escape me Kim! Now tell me what's up."

"It's nothing! Let me go! It's a stupid request! Just drop it! I'll check the lights later!"

"Come on, you can tell me Kimmy." I said as I rested my head on her shoulder and wrapped my arms around her body.

"Don't call me Kimmy. And why are you so…affectionate today?" Kim asked as she noticed how close I was getting to her. I was surprised how close I was getting to her too. Maybe it was because I was still turned on and something or someone must receive this affection.

"Mmm…don't know. One of those days I suppose. So what's wrong Kim? Is it Scott? Did he do something stupid again? Oh God, are you pregnant?" I joked but Kim pushed me away from her.

"God! No! I'm not pregnant. Yesh…"

"So it can't be that bad compared to that. What can I do for you?" I saw Kim's face turn pink again as her eyes shifted from looking at me then at the ground then towards the door. "Kimmy…?"

"…" Kim mumbled as I leaned in closer towards her, not hearing a thing she said.

"What?"

"…can I…" And then she mumbled again.

"What?" I repeated, as I did the stereotypical thing of leaning one of my eyes towards her with a hand cupped around it so I can hear her more clearly.

"…can I kiss you?"

I felt my eye twitch…HARD.

WHAT'S WITH EVERYONE TODAY?

"…WHAT? Are you on crack?" I said, backing away from her. Never thought I would hear those words come from Kim Pine's mouth.

"I told you it was stupid! Forget I said anything ok?" She said as she started to run again.

"Whoa whoa whoa girl! Don't run!" I said to her has I manage to catch her hand. "Why do you want to kiss me?" I asked, giving the most logical reason rather than the most extreme reason of Kim being a lesbian. Kim's struggle to break free from my grasp slowly stopped as she continued to look forward.

"I don't know. I was a dumb request. I just wanted to see what an experience kiss feels like." She admitted. I couldn't help but laugh at both the irony and how uncomfortable she must be admitting that to me. Then again, I was pretty uncomfortable with the thought to kissing Kim right after I had a pretty intense make out session with her boyfriend for the same reason. "I just…I just want to know how to kiss better. You know…can you give me pointers or…?"

"Well…the best way to learn how to kiss is to just…do it." I said to her as I turned her around and hugged her close. I saw her eyes widen and get really embarrassed as she struggled a bit in my arms.

"W-What are you talking about? I just wanted information! I don't want to kiss you!"

"Come on Kim. I'm a professional actress! I can separate personal feelings with fake ones." I lied. I was terrible at it. But I still gotta start practice somewhere, right? And besides…it's Kim, another girl. It's not like I want to kiss girls.

"You're a student in a play. You're not a professional!"

"It's my job to separate friends from theater. Come on…I promise you that I won't think any less of you. And I promise I won't tell Scott." I said as Kim's body started to ease into my arms. "You do want to make Scott like you more right…?"

"…maybe…"

"…then just do it." I whispered to her as I leaned my head towards her, the hint of her cherry ChapStick tingled in my nose.

I felt dirty…dirty all over. It was a long walk from school to home. I didn't want to take the bus. I knew both of them would be there and the tension and the awkwardness would probably make me implode. Like…seriously implode. The events that took place in that theater…I just didn't want to look back at it. Forget it and move on.

But it was hard to forget something like that. The way she kissed me…the way I kissed her back. Our hands moving around our bodies…

…the smell of her hair…

"Oh God…what am I doing to myself?" I shouted out loud as I started to walk faster, hoping to escape those dirty thoughts.

After what seemed to be an hour long walk, I made it home. I opened the door and closed it mindlessly, just wanting to get up the stairs, take a long shower, and just call it a day. The images were still burned in my mind. The emotion…the feeling…the deep DEEP confusion…

"Hey there Lisa, how's school?" I heard my mom call from the kitchen but I paid no attention.

"Yes, sweetie. How was it? I heard my dad but I was climbing the staircase one step at a time. I heard footsteps approach from behind as I could only imaging that both of my parents came from the living room to see me.

"Lisa…? Is everything ok?"

"I KISS A GIRL AND I LIKED IT!" I yelled at them, letting out all of my frustration and confusion I had for the entire day in one, short sentence before charging up the stairs towards the bathroom and slamming it closed.

"…I told you that the music she was listening to was poisoning her mind."

The End

Looking back, I realize that a lot of my more 'humorous' stories are M-rated and my more serious ones are T-rated. Guess I have a sick sense of humor or something.