HI... don't really know what this is; it was just an idea I had in my head for a while. Thought I might just put it up and see what happens. I would love some imput on it.

All rights to Glee. Cheers.

This story isn't for you… it's not some great love story or anything like that. All you need to know is that it's about me and it's about her. Everyone just assumes that we've always been together; that we always knew that it- this thing, us, was happening. It was innocent at first, a brush of the hand, a simple glance. I never had to explain or apologize I didn't have to pretend to be someone. I could just be me; it was easy. I didn't have to play a game with her; I never thought it, us, as that. I was just Santana and she was just Brittany; it was simple. Until it wasn't anymore…I don't know how it got to be so complicated…. I just want all this confusion to stop.

We met in grade school she was quiet and I didn't know anybody… we met but truth be told we weren't best friends. No that didn't happen until high school, freshmen year, cheerleading tryouts.

Smile; my heart hammering against my rib cage like it's trying to escape. Breath just calm down; you did everything perfectly, but she's only taking a couple new girls. I made it; I know I did, I was perfect. I owned these losers; well most of them anyways, Quinn is still standing next to me. Daring a glance at her and her smile doesn't waver, she stands cool and collected… meaning she's just as terrified as I am. Of course she'll never admit it, and I'll cut a bitch before I ever let her know… she'll never let it go. And rightfully so… it's how we work, not too many people get it but then again that doesn't matter.

It's a twinge in the pit of my stomach, a whispered voice in my head that makes me glance over to Brittany. She stands watching something so intently that I can't stop from following her gaze. What could be so interesting? Two cheerios stand shoulder to shoulder, comfortable in the familiarity of each other. One nudges the other with an elbow, a faint smile playing across her mouth. Looking back to Brittany, a mimicked smile on her face, what's so interesting about them Brittany? She turns her head scanning the crowd, her smile never waiver, there is no flicker of fear or nerves in her eyes. They're blue, I never realized that before. Her gaze meets mine and I can't help this rush of heat from filling my veins, flooding my face as I look away, shit.

"Ladies, two words: sloppy and rudimentary. If you thought it would be easy to make this squad, you were dead wrong. In fact I have had people attempt murder to make as far as you have and honestly if it weren't for those pesky laws it would be a requirement. With that said I need the rejects to sign these waivers, stating that I am not responsible for when you attempt suicide, on their way out. So… Dora, Barbie, and Betty you stay the rest of you, get out; I'm tired of looking at you."

She points her hand lazily towards us, before she turns back to her clip board. As if on cue someone starts crying in behind me. Wait did she just call me Dora? A hand on my shoulder forcing me to turn, Quinn smiles letting her hand fall behind her.

"Congrats," she shifts from one foot to another out of excitement.

"Same to you." Her smile is cold; it's a passing flicker in her eyes that betrays her excitement.

She turns to Brittany, a quick hug and a warm smile as she pulls away moving to the swarm of cheerleaders crowding us. This twinge in my stomach, like I'm walking in the dark, cautious with each step I take. She smiles happily, excited in a reserved way as she moves toward me.

"Congratulations Santana." I can't help but smile back; she pulls me in her arms enveloping me.

"Congrats Brittany," she smells of a flower I can't place. The look on Quinn's face making me drop my hands, we step away from each other in an awkward motion. The smell of that flower lingering still in the air. What type of perfume is it? Where did you get it?

"Ladies, if you're done hugging and whatever it is you do; get out. Now." She yells it into a speaker phone, still reading over that clip board.

"Ok," Quinn stepping in between us, that cool and collected smile falling onto her face. "We're leaving, we'll see you tomorrow."

She glances back at us, expecting us to agree; we kind of have to. She moves taking a slow lingering step like she's waiting for us to follow. She just shrugs, that smile still playing at the corners of her mouth. We follow Quinn to the hall, gathering our bags quietly. The squad moves like water through the halls, unrelenting and commanding, they split into smaller groups. Their stone faces, and glaring eyes break into weary smiles as they congratulate us. For a moment I feel… okay, comfortable in this crowded hall of near forgotten and nameless faces that flood us; neglect us.

"So what class do you have now?" Her voice is soft, and that chill of nerves run's just under my skin.

"I'm heading to homeroom," she turns her head slightly in confusion. "math; Buhler."

She leans forward, almost standing on her toes that smile crawling along her lips.

"Me too," I didn't see you yesterday.

"You weren't there yesterday." Quinn turn's, hugging her books to her chest like she's scared; she stands next to us that questioning look on her face like she's trying to figure her out.

"I got lost," she shrugs it off like its nothing…. she's stopped smiling though.

"Ok… well just stick with us then." She glances over her shoulder, her eyes darker like she's daring me to do or say something against her.

She nods her head in agreement, screw you Quinn, and turns down the hall waiting for us to follow. We try to fight our way through the crowded hall, past nervous groups of freshman and the calm groups of upper classmen. My arm brushes against hers as we squeeze past a group of football players. They look down, their eyes roaming over us, smug smiles littering their faces.

"So how was your summer Brittany?" I don't really know why I'm asking, it's not like we're really good friends. Honestly, even though we've been in the same class since second grade, I barely know her.

"It was ok, I just-"a sharp sudden pain shoots through my body, as Quinn's elbow and foot connect with me.

"Ow." Instinctively I feel my palm move against Brittany's stomach in an attempt to stop her from walking into Quinn as well. My hand is on her stomach… I should move my hand.

"That hurt; watch where you're going troll." Glancing away from my hand on her stomach I peer over Quinn's shoulder. Standing just on the other side of her stands a small surprised little brunette. Almost feel sorry for her.

"Oh, sorry I didn't mean to. I was just caught up in the moment of the performance and I di- didn't think that would people would still be walking pas-." How cute, she's scared.

"Ok stop. I don't care. Just watch where you're going." Steeling myself against this nauseous feeling in my stomach, I do my best to glare at her. I bite the inside of my cheek in attempt to stop from laughing, she's dressed like she should be on stage singing backup to a drag queen; way too much makeup kid.

"Oh, ok-"She looks down at her shoes, quiet and small standing before us. It's in the way she quickly glances up… a quiet plea for us to like her.

"Let's go, we don't want to be late." Her voice hard and cold; this girl just made a mistake. Backing down without a fight will destroy in this place… I wonder how easy it is to make her cry.

Walking around the corner, I can see Brittany glancing over her shoulder, a weird look in her eyes. Like she feels sorry or confused or something about what just happened. I don't know what makes me do it; it's just a thought that crosses my mind. The softness of her shirt against my elbow as I nudge her, her eyes falling into mine and all I can do is smile.

"What did you do this summer?" She almost bounces into the room, a smile on her lips once more; she follows Quinn to a middle table.

"The usual, just hung out with Quinn." She watches me as I move past her and Quinn, a look of disappointment in her eyes as I pull out a chair.

"You make it sound like a chore." She carefully opens her binder looking around the room. She acts like it's the most natural thing to do; to count how many people you know in a room.

"Sometimes it is." She turns her head, trying not to smile… she reads like a book.

I can feel her watching, this cool chill that runs along my spine. I should be use to people staring; I've been a cheerleader since I was ten. I sit up straighter in my chair, a nervous habit, and my eyes narrowing in on the board. It's a low murmur that crawls among the crowd, searching for the source and the room glances away; afraid I'll catch them. It's a loud whisper, concentrating on hearing it clearly it makes my stomach turn with how it's said.

"They're the new cheerios."

Like fire it spreads in hushed jealous and fearful tones. It's in the air, electric and thick… I should feel different. I should feel powerful and something other than this… I joined the cheerios to belong; why do I feel so alone? Quinn sits up, posed gracefully and strong; she loves this. My stomach turns, this feeling like someone is staring right through me… her blue eyes questioning in this crowded room.

For you to really understand… god why the hell am I even bothering with this? I don't get it? Why him over me?