Title: The Nutcracker

A/N: Written for my darling Nittygrittywho means so much to me that words fail me and is extremely special. So on your birthday Pat, I bring you this stupid silly fic. I hope you like it!

You can kick my ass later for making this so late. I love you baby girl! 3

Beta'd by 80x18! Oh what wouldn't I give to you as a token of my appreciation for all your hard work for me! 3

Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters are the property of Masashi Kishimoto.

It hurt like a bitch!

Naruto grimaced as he pulled his book bag closer to himself and gingerly limped towards the school's main building. After a couple of steps, he paused to grimace again and looked down at his crotch. He shook his head sadly but continued towards his first class anyways.

"Hey, don't you think that blond loser is walking a little abnormally?" Really, Suigetsu had a way of stating the obvious. Sasuke fought the urge to roll his eyes at his friend who was now noisily slurping water from a styrofoam cup.

He decided to ignore Suigetsu and instead turned his attention towards the person of his affections. Uzumaki Naruto…the boy ignited a panging of lust and fire so potent in Sasuke's veins that when they were in contact with each other it would take all of Sasuke's will power to prevent himself from jumping Naruto. Considering that they fought almost all the time, Sasuke was always at a battle against his will.

Why is Naruto walking like that? He moved forward to talk to his crush but halted midway at Suigetsu's next words. "Looks like someone finally made him take it up the ass!"

What? No! No! No! It couldn't be! It just couldn't be! Naruto was his and his alone! But judging from the way Naruto was walking-no limping, it surely made sense. Sasuke frowned in anger; jealousy coursing through his veins. Who the hell did this to you?

He'd have to find out and kill the doer. Naruto was his and he was going to make sure that everyone else got the message loud and clear. A devilishly small smirk made its way on his face but died when another thought hit him. Could Gaara or Neji have been responsible for this? Did any one of them really...?

This looked bad, really bad.

Sabaku Gaara watched Naruto limp towards the school building with no particular expression on his face, but Kankuro could tell that Gaara was internally fuming with rage. Judging from the way Naruto grimaced with every step and prevented his legs from coming in contact with each other, there was some serious ass-ripping involved.

"Gaara?" he said, hoping to draw Gaara out of his musings which probably involved torturous death of someone; Kankuro shuddered lightly, "Let's go."

"Who do you think it was Kankuro?" Gaara asked, his tone light and thoughtful. But Kankuro knew him too well. Beneath all that lightness a hungry tiger paced agitatedly waiting to pounce on the culprit and tear him to shreds.

Kankuro frowned before shrugging. "Who knows?"

Gaara caught Kankuro's arm in an unforgivable grasp. "I need a name Kankuro."

Immediately, Kankuro's blood ran cold. Gaara meant business and if Kankuro were to disobey, the consequences of the fury would involve him as well. "I...er...Neji!"

The menacing look in Gaara's eyes upped a notch. "Neji, eh?" A cruel, almost malicious grin crept on Gaara's face as he let go of Kankuro's hand. So Neji is the one responsible for taking Naruto, I see.

The feral grin from a second ago turned pure evil as Gaara folded his arms and moved towards the school, formulating a plan in his head. Little did Neji know who he was dealing with. Looks like I'll have to teach Neji a lesson. One I hope he will never forget...

Neji moved silently towards his locker when he spotted Naruto limping towards his own locker. His pupil-less eyes narrowed in concern. Is Naruto hurt? Did someone beat him up again? Was it Uchiha?

He caught himself overreacting and opened his locker. He just couldn't go up to Naruto and ask him what was wrong. Neji wasn't Naruto's friend and nor were there any future chances of him becoming one. It was a common knowledge that Naruto did not befriend seniors and so Neji had no choice but to quell all worries and concentrate on pulling out the books that were required for class.

He watched Naruto walk to his locker from the corner of his eyes. There was something wrong about Naruto's walk. He walked as if he had trouble keeping his legs together and limped severely. And then it struck! Did Naruto do it with someone?

No! It couldn't be! It-just-couldn't-be! Neji mentally shook his head. He was just being stupid or maybe he was hallucinating. Yes, he had to be hallucinating!

"What the hell are you doing slapping yourself like that?" Tenten's voice broke through his thoughts and he looked up at his best friend who was staring at him with her face torn between amusement and disbelief. It took him a moment to realize that his hands were on his cheeks and judging from the stinging he had indeed slapped himself pretty bad.

"Wh-what?" Neji asked suddenly out of his character and lost. He bent and hid his face in his locker to prevent Tenten from seeing the blush.

Tenten shook her head and leaned against Neji's neighboring locker. "It's Uzumaki isn't it?"

"Huh?"

"Wow! You're slow today." She straightened herself and said, "You're thinking about Uzumaki aren't you?"

"What about it?" Neji asked as he began pulling out his books. Damn! My locker is so untidy!

"Is that? Are you cleaning your locker?" Tenten began laughing hard and that's when her eyes fell on the boy his best friend lusted after.

"Hey, check this out! Uzumaki is walking funny!" she sounded amused and excited.

"It's Naruto, Tenten and yes I noticed already." Neji was suddenly so tired and defeated.

"Uh-huh, looks like he had a rough night." If anything she sounded completely thrilled about that much to Neji's chagrin.

Neji just continued to pile his books neatly, checking every spare paper twice for its importance and making piles sorting the unimportant ones.

"So who do you think it was?" Tenten asked.

"Who what is?" Neji asked momentarily distracted by a piece of fragranced pink paper.

"The person who didNaruto?" Tenten shrugged with that 'duh' look on her face.

Neji stayed mute, clearly not wanting to think along those lines. "I think it was Sasuke," Tenten spoke after a moment, her voice challenging.

Sasuke, you bastard! Could you really have...? Murderous thoughts floated in Neji's mind and for a moment he saw red.

He was going to get Sasuke for this. Naruto only and only belonged to Hyūga Neji and if Sasuke or for that matter anyone tried to get their hands on him, Neji would make sure the person was destroyed.

Sasuke practically dragged Neji by the collar of his white shirt before banging him against the wall.

"How dare you?" he snarled at Neji.

He was angry, well way beyond angry. He was mad! How dare Neji touch Naruto! His Naruto!

Neji pushed him away and settled his collar. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Don't play dumb with me Hyūga. We both know what I'm talking about."

He leaned in closer, his face almost inches from Neji's. "How dare you touch Naruto, Neji?" he snarled.

Neji's eyes widened. Ah! So it wasn't Sasuke after all! Thank God! He decided to play with Sasuke for a bit.

"Oh, that is what you're talking about?" he pushed Sasuke away and began walking towards his class.

"Well, Naruto was upset last night and he confessed that he had, what was that word?" Neji paused for a moment as if trying to recall the word, "Ah! A 'tendre' for me. After that," Neji sighed and stretched as if for emphasis and with a slight smirk said, "the rest is history Sasuke."

Sasuke was torn between disbelief and potent hatred. He wanted nothing more than to grab Neji by his crotch and rip the other man's balls off. "What did you just say?" Sasuke bellowed, uncaring if the world heard him at the moment. All that mattered was the fact that Neji had violated Naruto, his Naruto!

This just wasn't acceptable!

It was all as quick as lightening. Sasuke pounced on Neji and began punching every inch of skin he came in contact with. "Tell me you didn't do it! Tell me you did not do it with him! He's mine, mine alone!"

Neji decided he'd had enough when a moment later his lip cracked open and he spit blood. "Fine! I'll tell you the truth! I did not fuck Naruto okay? Now stop hitting me!" he almost whispered the last words too weak to actually say something else.

Sasuke's anger-fueled brain took a moment to understand and digest what Neji had just told him. Neji was not the cause of Naruto's limping! For the fraction of a second relief flooded his insides but then another face swam in his mind and he snarled.

If not Neji, then it has to be Sabaku Gaara. It seemed that realization dawned on Neji at the same time for he stopped struggling and gasped while staring at Sasuke.

Slowly Sasuke let go of Neji and wiped his own bloody nose on his sleeve. Reluctantly, he looked down at Neji and after a moment's hesitation held out his hand towards his rival for Naruto's affection to hoist him up.

This was two against one. He couldn't wait to see how Gaara wheedled his way out of this one. After all for the crime Gaara had committed, even death was a small punishment.

Neji and Sasuke cornered Gaara as the redhead made his way out of the school building. They had it all planned.

It was simple really. The day was a Thursday and Kankuro had basketball practice so he stayed late. This meant that Gaara would have to leave alone after school.

It was Sasuke who caught him in a headlock and covered his mouth with his hand while Neji made sure the coast was clear and guided Sasuke who dragged a struggling Gaara towards the empty space at the back of the school's main building.

Once they were all gathered there, Sasuke finally removed his hand from Gaara's mouth and stood back a little. He knew out of the three, Gaara was the strongest and it would make more sense if he kept himself at a distance.

Gaara did not disappoint. A moment later a punch came out of nowhere and nearly knocked Sasuke out. While Sasuke lay on the floor nursing his abused jaw, he felt immense pleasure when he saw Neji's face get similar treatment.

"What the hell did you do to Naruto?" Sasuke asked his tone turning as chilly as ice. He formed his fist in a punch again ready to strike when Gaara held up a hand to silence him.

"Does it really bother you?" Gaara folded his arms across his chest. "You know I had my eyes on Naruto ever since he came here. You should have just kept your eyes away and-." Gaara was quieted by Neji this time.

"Don't talk like some high and mighty upperclassman, alright?" Neji growled. "And anyway, what the fuck do you have that can make Naruto happy? Look at me! I can give him anything he wants. I have money, I have pow-" this time the punch came from Sasuke.

"I knew you were a materialistic bastard. Do you seriously think Naruto is after all of that? Do you know what I can give him? Happiness! I can make him happy, in bed and out of it too!" Sasuke yelled.

"Shut up Uchiha! What do you know about happiness? All you can think of is sex! You can never understand Naruto. What Naruto needs is someone to understand him and care for him and really love him." Gaara spoke softly his mind filled with thoughts of Naruto.

"Love? You think that is love? That animalistic approach is love? The poor guy can't even walk Sabaku!" Neji spoke with disbelief.

Gaara looked confused. "What the hell are you implying?"

"Don't act smart with us Gaara. We know how much of a beast you are and judging from the way Naruto can't walk, you really seem like a sadistic bastard." Sasuke's voice was completely filled with malice and disgust.

"I didn't do that to Naruto." Gaara spoke softly. "I thought you did Hyūga or you Uchiha." Twin sets of dark eyebrows quirked in mock disbelief with the fists of both the boys ready the sides.

Gaara coolly folded his arms across his chest and regarded both the boys with furious glares. "I swear."

Both Neji and Sasuke relaxed for a moment and then the three of them frowned together.

Gaara whispered, "If it wasn't-"

"-Either of us-" Neji continued.

"-Then who-" Sasuke butted in.

"-could have done this to Naruto?" The trio spoke together as if in a trance.

Sasuke was the first to recover. "We must find out!"

Just as they were about to move towards the front of the building, they heard a small noise coming from close by. It seemed as if someone was having a serious conversation and judging from the voice it was-

"Naruto!" Neji exclaimed as if this was the most important universal truth. Both Gaara and Sasuke rolled his eyes at Neji and put their fingers over their lips as a signal to shut him up. They tiptoed closer to the place where Naruto was.

Naruto was talking to someone who was partially hidden by shadows. "Che," Sasuke growled in frustration unable to see the man who Naruto was having the talk with. He was particularly pissed by the fact that Naruto was leaning against the wall where the other man stood as if blocking the man's face.

"Yes I will keep it in mind." Naruto's voice sounded small as he chewed uncertainly on the nail of his right thumb. "So when do we meet again?"

Gaara's, Neji's and Sasuke's brow rose at the same time. What the fuck was happening? As much as they wanted to go out there and look at Naruto's suitor's face and demand explanations, they knew their hands were tied. So all they could do at the moment was stand behind the wall and eavesdrop on the conversation.

The man in the shadows had an enthusiastic and loud voice. Sasuke gasped. I've heard this voice before! Behind him Gaara spoke up with disgust and disbelief, "It's Rock Lee."

"Tonight," Lee spoke as he leaned in closer to Naruto making the three seniors grit their teeth and clench their fists in anger. "We meet at 9 in your apartment. Remember 'The Nutcracker' that's what we will be doing it to tonight."

Naruto seemed to nod in understanding. He must have said something for a moment because Lee's obnoxiously green spandex-clad hand rested on his shoulder and Lee said, "Don't worry; I won't make you do that again." He gave Naruto his 'Nice Guy Pose'.

This must have calmed Naruto's somewhat because his shoulders visibly relaxed. "You will get used to it don't worry." Lee smiled with assurance as he consulted his watch. "Well then I have to go now. I'll see you tonight okay?"

Naruto smiled and said, "Okay. I hope this time its good."

Naruto waved and began walking towards the front of the building. Seeing this as their cue to run away before Naruto saw them, Neji, Sasuke, and Gaara made a hasty exit.

Once they were at the front of the school building, Neji broke the silence. "What the hell was that about?"

Gaara and Sasuke looked thoughtful. "I guess we will just have to ask him now," Gaara deduced.

Neji nodded in agreement. But now another dilemma stood before them. "Who would go and ask Naruto?" As it was, Sasuke and Naruto were sworn enemies, Neji was a bullying senior, and Gaara…well Gaara was out of the question for his homicidal tendencies.

"I'll go." Sasuke volunteered, almost leering atthe opportunity to talk to his crush even though it meant learning some important albeit dirty secret. "I mean, even if all Naruto and I do is fight, amongst the three of us, I'm the only one he talks to."

Neji and Gaara looked at each other silently as if having a mental debate about Sasuke's choice as a worthy candidate for the job. It was true. Between the three, Sasuke was the only one who could actually get the answer out of Naruto.

Sighing in defeat, Neji reluctantly nodded. "Alright, go ask him now while he's alone."

Sasuke nodded and moved towards the school building where he'd seen Naruto go moments ago.

He gleefully cracked his knuckles and smirked…

Naruto saw Sasuke walking towards him with that aloof and arrogant smirk on his face and felt his blood boil. "What do you want?" he hissed.

Sasuke leaned in and grabbed Naruto by the front of his shirt bringing their faces almost centimeters close to each other. "Who the hell was it?" Sasuke sounded furious.

Anger clouded Naruto's vision and a minute later a fist collided with Sasuke's jaw. "What the hell are you talking about bastard?"

Sasuke's punch to Naruto's stomach was not a nano-second late. "You know very well what I'm talking about."

A kick met Sasuke's shin and he grunted in pain, giving Naruto immense satisfaction. "If I did, I wouldn't have asked you this question, asshole."

Sasuke caught Naruto's foot resting next to his body and twisted it, making Naruto fall. "The reason for your limp," he nodded towards Naruto's legs, "who is it?"

Realization dawned a second later of breaking Sasuke's nose. "Oh, that!"

Sasuke clutched his nose and almost howled in pain. "Yes, that!"

"Why do you care?" Naruto asked, lunging towards him.

Sasuke shrugged before catching Naruto's wrist to stop the punch. "Because I really want to beat the crap out of anyone else who hurts you Naruto."

Naruto froze. "Eh?" Confused blue eyes stared into almost shy black ones. A moment later, realization struck and immediately Naruto's demeanour changed.

He looked almost apologetic and embarrassed when he spoke next. "That's because I have a muscle pull." He stood up and offered Sasuke his hand for support. "You see Sasuke, I've never done a banana split my entire life and thanks to the stretch, my thighs hurt like a bitch..."