Reading The Diaries of Darren Shan

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the amazing Darren Shan's work, even though I wish I did3

Warning: If you haven't read all the books, there will be spoilers in here.

A/N : I noticed no one had done a reading of the Darren Shan books, which kind of disappoints me, since they're awesome books! So I thought I'd do some!

Enjoy!

Voldie~x

Chapter 1 - Surprises and a Introduction

It was about a year after I had been made a Vampire Prince. I was still getting used to it all. I mean, who would've thought that out of everyone it would be me, normal, well almost normal- just take away the whole 'being a half vampire, assistant to a vampire' away, and it's just me. Yet now I'm a vampire prince, cool right? Well half-vampire.

But back to what happened, I was just doing my normal duties, you know, sitting around in a big room, talking to some generals, when suddenly a bunch of books and a note come slamming down on my head. I didn't scream like a girl or anything, men don''t scream..okay? But man, the speed those guards moved was like 'whoa'. Anyways, of course after much speculating of how the hell these books even GOT into the hall of Princes in the first place, we finally read the note.

I volunteered to read, it said...

To myself(Darren) from the past(weird right?),

You know those diaries you(I)'ve been writing for the past god knows how many years? Well, here they are in full, I'm from a long way into the future, but I want to change this. I've got some help from Mr Tiny(I still can't believe he did that), and we decided that you, and a few other select people will help with the reading. You may find yourself in the company of some enemies and friends, but all your vampiric powers will be taken away(don't ask, I have no idea).

When you've finished reading this, the people will appear in the Hall of Princes, don't attack them. And you will start the reading of the diaries!

Yours,

Darren Shan

I looked up to the see the faces of confusion, when suddenly there was bangs and much smoke. Coughing I shielded my eyes, until I heard a shout. Uncovering my eyes I saw a blur rushing towards me, when it quickly slowed down to a normal humans speed. I gasped when I saw it was my best, well, ex-best friend Steve Leopard(Leonard).

Among a cluster of people near the middle of the hall, there was Mr Crepsley, Steve, Kurda, Debbie, Harkat, Evra Von and of all people, my little sister, Annie.

There were many confrontations, but once we got another note telling us to get a move on with the books, that's what we did.

"Erm, I guess I'll go first then," I said, trying to sound brave, but that's kind of a hard thing to do with your sister who thinks you're dead, a girlfriend who you ran away from in the middle of the night, and a ex-best friend trying to kill you.

Introduction

I've always been fascinated by spiders. I used to collect them when I was younger. I'd spend hours rooting through the dusty old shed at the bottom of our garden, hunting the cobwebs for lurking eight-legged predators. When I found one, i'd bring it in and let it loose in my bedroom.

It used to drive my mum mad!

Annie started laughing, "oh my god, I remember that! Remember that time when-" I stood up, walked over to her and covered her mouth up, so she couldn't say any more.

"Annie, if I move my hand, you're not to say anything. Okay?" I could feel her nodding, so I let her go. I felt a tinge of nostalgia, I remember doing this when we were little, before, when things weren't complicated or dangerous.

I could feel everyone staring at me, so I carried on with the reading about my personal life and thoughts.

Yay.

Usually the spider would slip away after no more than a day or two, never to be seen again, but sometimes they hung around longer. I had one who made a cobweb above my bed and stood sentry for almost a month. Going to sleep I used to imagine the spider creeping down, crawling into my mouth, sliding down my throat and laying loads of eggs in my belly. The baby spiders would hatch after a while and eat me alive, from the inside out.

I looked up to see everyone staring a me strangely.

"what?" I asked, curiously.

"It's just, you have some weird thoughts, really weird thoughts," Debbie answered for everyone.

"Well, it's not like I knew I would be sitting here with you all, reading them!" I said, starting to get annoyed. How would they like it if they had their thoughts from when they were a kid on display for everyone, including enemies.

Mr Crepsley just coughed and told us that maybe we should carry on. So I did just that.

I loved being scared when I was little.

When I was nine, my mum and dad gave me a small tarantula. It wasn't poisonous or

very big, but it was the greatest gift I'd ever received. I played with that spider almost every waking hour of the day. Gave it all sorts of treats: flies and cockroaches and tiny worms. Spoilt it rotten.

Then one day I did something stupid.

Steve just snorted. I stared at him, then asked him what was so funny. He just glared at me and said, "When don't you do something stupid?", making me angry, but sadly for me and good for everyone else, before it could turn into a full out argument, Evra stepped in, taking the book out of my hands, and reading in my place.

I'd been watching a cartoon in which one of the characters was sucked up by a vacuum cleaner. No harm came to him. He squeezed out of the bag, dusty and dirty and mad as hell. It was very funny.

So funny, I tried it myself. With the tarantula.

Annie gasped and just said 'So that's what really happened, mum and dad told me it was a accident!'

Everyone else was either looking amused, disgusted or glaring. Guess who the glare was from. If you need more than one guess, you've failed.

Anyways, to try and stop the looks, I took the book from Evra and carried on reading.

Needless to say, things didn't happen quite like they did in the cartoon. The spider was ripped to pieces. I cried a lot, but it was too late for tears. My pet was dead, it was my fault, and there was nothing I could do about it.

My parents nearly hollered the roof down when they found out what I'd done – the tarantula had cost quite a bit of money. They said I was a irresponsible fool, and form that day on they never again let me have a pet, not even an ordinary garden spider.

" I remember that, you were so upset," Annie teased me. I just glared and denied everything. So I was a bit upset, who cares, I was nine. That's a acceptable age to cry at, right? Right.

Evra just stared at me and said, " but I thought you didn't like spiders, at least you never liked Madam Octa,"

"Yeah, well it's all her fault," I counter-argued.

Mr Crepsley looked affronted and tried to argue saying, " but you were the one that stole her," however, we soon got another note telling us to shut up, and read.

I'm starting to wonder how these notes know when to come down, but decided to just oblige and read.

I started with that tale from the past for two reasons. One will become obvious as this book unfolds. The other reason is:

This is a true story.

"Well, no duh. We wouldn't be sitting here if it wasn't," Steve sneered. Everyone just glared at him until he shut up. Thank god, sometimes he goes on for ever about stuff that no one cares about.

I don't expect you to believe me – I wouldn't believe it myself if I hadn't lived it – but it is. Everything I describe in this book happened, just as I tell it.

"doesn't that make this book biased?" Kurda asked. I answered with a 'Not really, an anyway even if it is, we can correct it, we're going to change this anyway.'

And with that I carried on reading.

The thing about real life is, when you do something stupid it normally cost you. In books, the heroes can make as many mistakes as they like. It doesn't matter what they do, because everything comes good in the end. They'll beat the bad guy and put things right and everything ends up hunky-dory.

"is that even a word?" Evra asked everyone.

"Of course it is! Why would I use it other-wise?" I answered.

"Well, we all know you're weird and not normal, so no one's going to take your judgment on it," Debbie said, sticking her tongue out. How mature.

In real life, vacuum cleaners kill spiders. If you cross a busy road without looking, you get whacked by a car. If you fall out of a tree, you break some bones.

Real life's nasty. It doesn't care about heroes and happy endings and the way things should be. In real life, bad things happen. People die. Evil often wins.

I just wanted to make that clear before I began.

"God Shan, I think we get it. You hate 'real' life." Evra laughed. I just shrugged him off, and carried on reading.

One more thing: my name isn't really Darren Shan.

"What? Yes it is, this books confusing," I exclaimed. Mr Crepsley raised one of his eyebrows and said, maybe it was to confuse the readers, so they won't go looking for a 'Darren Shan'.

I decided to just accept that and kept reading.

Everything's true in this book except for names. I've had to change them because...well, by the time you get to the end, you'll understand.

I haven't used any real names, not mine, my sister's, my friends or teachers. Nobody's. I'm not even going to tell you the name of my town of country. I daren't.

Anyway, that's enough of a introduction. If you're ready, let's begin. If this was a made-up story, it would begin at night, with a storm blowing and owls hooting and rattling noises under the bed.

But this is a real story, so I have to begin where it really started.

It started in a toilet.

I groaned. Why, out of anywhere, did it have to start here.

"Well, that's the end of that abnormally stupidly long introduction, who's up for reading the next chapter?" I asked to everyone, who were trying to not laugh. They probably thought they were covering it up well, but I could see it.

Annie volunteered to go next, so we started on the next chapter straight away.

A/N: And that's that! God, I forgot how long the introduction was.!

Shan sure knows how to write. Lol

Anyways; the only characters involved will be, Darren, Annie, Debbie, Evra, Mr Crepsley, Steve and Harkat and Kurda.!

I hope you like it! Feedback would be great though! Even if they're in the form of flames, because flames keep me warm, and being warms good. Especially to roast marshmallows on :3

Peace. Love. Read. Write. ~Voldie