AN: I wrote this when I was really board so it is up here on fanfic for no reason whatsoever. I do not own Fullmetal alchemist or its characters. I don't know where this fic is going so please don't be angry or sad or depressed or locked into a murderous rage. Again… I DON'T KNOW WHY I WROTE THIS.

Fuery stared at the gun in his hands then back to the doors lining the walls. He was looking for room A34: the official residence of first lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. He was terrified. She had made it perfectly clear that no one, no one, was to disturb her at home unless it was an absolute emergency. Mustang had demanded that he return Hawkeye's gun to her. She had left it on the desk and he assumed that Mustang had been concerned for her safety.

He found her apartment and simply stood outside it. He was terrified! He was about the knock when he heard humming on the other side of the door. He knew Riza Hawkeye; she did not hum. Fuery listened for as long as he dared before he knocked on the door.

Riza signed her last document and stood up to leave. "See you boys tomorrow." She chimed trying to keep the sleepiness out of her voice. She sighed inwardly. Time to go home and see her secret. Riza still couldn't decide if her secret was good or not. She shook her head to clear it and walked home along the winding streets of Central.

After letting her hair down, brushing it and putting it up again Riza walked over to her neighbor's house to retrieve her secret. Her neighbor was more than pleased when she showed up, it seemed that her precious little secret wouldn't stop crying for some reason or another and it was driving her neighbor up the wall.

Finally after a sufficient amount of humming and singing and attempting to do anything to halt the crying, her secret stopped its pitiful wailing and settled down some. Riza heaved a sigh of relief. Then someone knocked on her door and the screaming started up again. Grumbling and complaining low under her breath Riza went to open the door forgetting that she still held her secret firmly in her arms.

She looked a mess and Fuery would be the first to admit that if he hadn't been shocked into silence. Her hair was falling out of its usually neat twist and some… mush?… stained her uniform jacket. She must have been wearing makeup during working hours because bags like the ones she had under her eyes didn't spring up overnight. But what surprised Fuery most was the fact that his superior officer was cradling a baby in her uniform-clad arms. He squeaked slightly when he could make any noise at all and dropped her gun before turning and sprinting away.

Fuery didn't stop running until he reached Central H.Q. Several soldiers paused their own lives to ask him what was wrong but he never stopped running to acknowledge them or give any answer. He raced strait to Mustang's office and once inside slammed the door behind himself.

"You all right there Fuery?" Havoc asked smoking a cigarette inside because Hawkeye wasn't there to scold him. "Did she shoot at you after you gave her the gun?"

Fuery shook his head and turned ghostly pail before running to the toilets and emptying his stomach of its contents. He was worse than terrified he was… there needs to be a new word for it! Fuery decided. I am Hawkified! "I can't tell you details Havoc unless you promise not to tell the lieutenant or anyone else what I am about to tell you or that I'm the one who told you in the first place." He needed to vent and he felt he could trust Havoc, a fellow hawkified person.

Havoc was astounded. He couldn't be hearing things right. First lieutenant Riza Hawkeye had a baby. Now he really wanted to kill Mustang. Who else could the father be? Oh no, it had to be that arrogant, flirtatious, low life, womanizing, useless… He decided to put a restraining order on his insults for now so he could get full details from Fuery.

"Describe the kid." Havoc commanded after a few moments of stunned silence. If he could prove that this kid was Mustang's by its appearance he would feel a little bit better.

"Well… it h-had blond hair, a little darker then the lieutenants," Fuery paused trying to remember the child down to exact details. "And light blue eyes." Havoc didn't think that sounded like the chief.

"Hell, that kid sounds like it looks like me." The blond officer stated.

Fuery stared dumbly at the second lieutenant. Hmm… Hawkeye's kid does look suspiciously like him. Is he the father? No Hawkeye would never even consider doing…that… with Havoc. Thinking about it though it didn't seem too preposterous.

"Are you the father, possibly?" Fuery asked, finally wrangling up some courage. "I mean the baby does look like you." He couldn't believe he was stating this to his best friends face. "Sorry." He squeaked.

Havoc considered what he was saying he thought back around the last year. "Unless we were both drunk as shit there is no way in hell I could be the father."

Riza closed the door slowly after picking up her now slightly bent gun. The young child in her arms reached out chubby pink arms towards the fire arm. Gasping she pulled it away quickly and holstered it at her waist. Moving herself into the kitchen, Riza looked for the baby's bottle.

After a quick feed she laid her child down for a good long sleep. I hope that she sleeps… Hawkeye thought going back to the living room to sit down for a quick nap. I still don't know who the father is though. Maybe I should research that in these afternoons. Despite her intentions, the lieutenant was fast asleep on the couch within seconds.

The world seemed to smell like alcohol. The blond first lieutenant sat up wincing at the pain in her lower half. There was someone next to her snoring softly. After a quick peek under the covers she determined that neither of them were wearing clothes and the body next to hers definitely belonged to a male. When she turned to see his face her head swam with the intoxicating liquid that was swimming in her skull. The face blurred and she passed out. A few hours later the woman woke up again to see that no one was anywhere near her. Her mind projected, 'just a dream, go back to sleep,' against her eyes and she did just that.

A high pitched shriek rang through Riza's interesting dream. Glancing at the clock she noticed that that dream had taken no more than seven minutes. Sluggishly, she scrapped herself of the couch and went to change her daughter.

Havoc sat on the couch at his own home in the same apartment complex as Hawkeye. The door to B29 swung open to reveal a drenched Fuery. Is it raining? he questioned. "Thanks for coming. I wanted you to take me down to Hawkeye's apartment so I can see this kid for myself." Something about the description of the child's appearance had spooked him and he felt the need to see it for himself.

"Yeah, I want to see it again too and see if the Lieutenant is okay. She looked like she had been put through a lawn mower earlier." Fuery panted.

Making their way down the Hallway Havoc tried to think if he could be the father. His mind played a similar situation to Riza's: waking up and not being able to see his partners face because of the worst hangover of his life, becoming scared and leaving quickly.

"Here we are." Fuery's voice cut through his thought bringing him back to reality. Jean Havoc prepared himself to die, as he was going against one of her most elaborate rules, and knocked on the door.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Riza moved to open the door. This time her daughter hadn't woken up at the sound. Her expression hardened though. If this was someone else from the office he was going o die or end up permanently maimed. Swinging the door open gently she revealed the faces of Fuery and Havoc. "What are you two doing here? I specifically told you not to interrupt me at home! Or didn't I make myself clear?" She spat.

Both men flinched away from her words. Somewhere in the house a soft cry was heard. Riza closed her eyes and groaned. Not again, she thought gesturing for the men to come in while she ran to stop the crying as quickly as possible. I can't hide her away from them forever, she reminded herself. Carrying her daughter out into the living room, she sat across from a shocked Havoc and a hawkified Fuery.

AN: Please leave a review and feel free to be harsh. I am sorry that this is awkward.