*Ducks spears, rocks, half-written flames and other paraphernalia*

I'm SO SORRY this took so long for us to update, but we sort of lost the mojo for a while. BUT GUESS WHAT? We're back and ready for some action!

~The Marvelous Adventures of a Mary-Sue: Chronicles of Narnia~

Chapter 4 – Gag Order

Gathering back in the library, Peter glaring grumpily at the book, everyone was arguing over who would read next.

"No. Absolutely not, not under any circumstances," said Susan.

"Please?" Lucy asked, using her best innocent face.

"That doesn't work anymore, now that you've proved how dirty-minded you are," said Susan. "Ed reads."

"It's Peter's story, Peter should read," said Edmund.

"Peter wants to end this insanity," said Peter. "Peter is not reading, lest he throws all of his siblings off the highest bloody room, in the highest bloody tower." Lucy and Susan shared a look of concern at seeing the slightly crazed look in their brother's eyes.

"I didn't know we were quoting from Shrek…" Edmund trailed.

"What's a…Shrek?" asked Lucy.

"Never mind. Just give me the damn book," he said, closing his eyes with a pained expression as he held out his hand.

"Good luck, Sir Pete!" said Lucy cheekily.

"I'm going to need it," muttered Peter.

That, and a pain reliever, he thought.

"Follow the wolf. He will lead you to the witch's camp," said Aslan.

Everyone gave chase, Leana in the front. Obviously.

They reached the witch's camp. All sorts of nasty creatures populated it, and were sharpening their weapons.

Leana gazed around, looking for Edmund. The others could deal with the fighting, while she handled the brainy part of the mission.

In a few seconds, she found the idiot tied to a tree and gagged. Well, THAT part wasn't so bad… Leana sighed. She supposed she'd have to take the gag off…eventually.

"How I'd like to gag her," Susan murmured to herself. "Amongst other things…"

"Like what?" Lucy asked innocently. The Gentle Queen gave her sister a look that was partly crazed, particularly sinister.

"Maybe we could issue a gag order," Peter pondered, but mostly to himself.

She strode up to Edmund, who looked highly grateful. As was only natural.

Ignoring the fighting around her, Leana undid the knots, remembering her Girl Scout training.

"What is this girl scoutery?" asked Edmund.

"Beats me." Lucy rolled her eyes.

"I have to admit, she has a point about the gag thing...it improves you," said Susan.

Edmund shot her a glare of death's incarnate. Peter cleared his throat and began reading again.

Leana grabbed Edmund by the hand and dragged him away and back to the camp. He probably couldn't find his way without her.

Edmund closed his eyes and waited for the horrible sounds of laughter to diminish.

When she glanced back at him, though it was dark, she could see his scarlet blush, probably at her hand grasping his. She smiled to herself, and began skipping with him through the rest of the forest, fairly dragging him alongside her.

"…Damn it all. Do shut up, all of you," Edmund commanded with a stony glare. But his siblings paid him no mind, holding their stomachs and throwing back their heads in near hysterical laughter.

"Oooh, look at me, I'm Eddie prancing through the forest with my new girlfriend!" Peter teased. Edmund, thoroughly exasperated, didn't even have the heart to take his kind brother aside as he spoke his flat retort. Instead, he plucked the book from Peter's lap.

"…If you value your future reproductive activities…" Her paused to flip a few pages further. "Which it looks like you'll be needing it in not so distant future chapters, shut your bloody yap."

The other three regarded him with equal expressions of shock.

"Ed…?" asked Lucy, tentatively.

"I'm fine. Just read," he said grumpily, tossing the book at her.

"But it's Peter's turn!" said Lucy, blocking the book with her hands.

Peter sighed dramatically.

So long suffering.

Sigh.

"…Do I have to?"

"Yes," said three voices.

"My own flesh and blood turns against me. Oh, the irony."

Once the hilarity of mocking the eldest King died down, Peter was left glowering at his siblings and mentor, as they were still snickering quietly to themselves.

"If you all are quite finished," he mumbled crankily.

"We are...Leana, on the other hand…" said Susan, mischievously.

Peter fixed a glare upon the Gentle Queen, a glare that could have frozen the sun.

"Anyone else have any complaints?"

Three heads shook.

"Okay," said Peter. He sighed, and began to read again.

If things had been left up to everyone else, they would have all been killed. As it was, Leana lead the party back to Aslan's camp with superhuman stealth. Edmund tripped about five times, and kept falling on Leana. She was beginning to think he did it on purpose…

"Give me that...thing!" shouted Edmund, making a grab for the book. Peter fended him off, then tossed it underhand to Susan, and restrained his brother.

"You know, I don't think this chapter's so bad," he said, chuckling.

"I hate you all," said Edmund, grumpily.

Susan cleared her throat and began to read where Peter had left off.

Finally, they reached the camp. Leana discreetly brushed off her shirt where Edmund had leaned on her.

Aslan was clearly in serious-mode, because he had a private talk with Edmund, and then with Leana.

"You did well today," he told her. "Without you, the expedition would surely have failed. However, this will be the least of your hardships...but the least of your triumphs."

"I'm ready, Aslan," said Leana.

"I know you are, child," he replied.

Then, the Pevensies and Leana convened over a breakfast of burnt toast that Edmund was shoving into his mouth at fifty miles per hour. Meanwhile, Peter tried to convince everyone else to stay behind, as if they were weak or something! Leana was having none of it.

"I'm just as great a warrior as you!" she said, staring him in the eye until he quivered.

Muffled giggles echoed throughout the room. Peter growled.

"Just keep moving...no reason to stop here."

"Err, right," said Susan, trying to get her laughter under control.

Peter submitted to Leana immediately.

Susan stopped reading and set the book down delicately, with look of horror mixed with amusement on her face. Everyone was silent for about ten seconds.

"I...didn't know you were into that, Peter," said Edmund, valiantly trying to keep a straight face.

"LUCY IS RIGHT THERE!" shouted Peter.

"Lucy knows exactly what you're talking about, Sir Pete," said Lucy, wickedly. She mimed cracking a whip.

Peter turned purple.
"Just read, you sadistic freaks," he said.

"We do need to train," said Susan. "I mean, I have a bow and arrow, btu I abrely know how to use them."

Leana rolled her eyes. Susan was such a downer. Still, she had a good point, maybe for the first time.

"Of course," said Leana, smiling. "We'll meet tomorrow, to train with our weapons."

She suggestively winked at Peter, who returned her a smile.

Peter turned various shades of red, which deteriorated to purple. Everyone else dissolved in gales of laughter.

"I'm sure Leana would love to use weapons on you, Peter," said Susan.

"Shut...up," growled Peter, through his teeth.

"Oh keep your breeches on, Pete. The fun is just beginning! Hell, I'll even continue reading for you," said Edmund. He would probably regret the day he was born after this afternoon's reading session, but it would be worth it to see his brother red as a tomato once again.

With a short clearing of his throat, he began to read.

The next morning we awoke to a bright, clear day. I was excited, since it was on this day that we would be getting to work with our given weapons. I had never fought before, but I used to be very talented at archery. I could hit any bull's eye at any range without batting a lash.

"She seems a bit overqualified," Orieus commented. Lucy nodded in agreement.

"Of course she would be excellent at archery," muttered Susan. The other four gave her cursory glances. Peter was beginning to get worried for their sister; she was looking a bit pale, and…was her eye twitching?

So archery only took her about five minutes to master. The horse-man…thing…said he had never seen someone with as much natural talent as me.

"Thank you, sir," I said demurely.

Oreius eyed the book critically while the others gave him measured glances as to gauge his reaction.

"We tried to correct her, it didn't do much," Edmund tried apologetically. Lucy elbowed him in the ribs.

"Truly, you will soon surpass even me." Oreius was his name, I think. That's what Aslan said earlier, but to me he just looked like another overpaid meat patty.

"Oh, dear Aslan," Peter muttered, swiping a hand over his face. He looked over at his general to see his eye twitching not unlike Susan had been, though he didn't utter a sound. Somehow, this was worse. Edmund hesitantly continued, scared for what lied ahead (and for his own wellbeing, as a vein on the centaur's temple was starkly visible and pulsing).

Anyway, I moved on to throwing daggers with Lucy. Hers missed entirely, sinking into the grass with a thud. Tears sprung to her eyes pathetically. I hid my sniggers behind my hand and subtly pushed her to the side.

It was my turn.

I let it fly and smirked in satisfaction as it landed dead center.

"What! Mine was the one that hit dead center, not—ughhh!" Lucy's frustration served to make her siblings snicker, but they were soon quieted by their sister's saccharine voice.

"Do keep reading, Edmund. I want to know what happens when she starts sparring with you and Peter."

The brothers looked at one another and grimaced.

Muahaha, that is where we will end it for now. Next: sparring and the arrival of the White Bitch—I mean, Witch. Stay tuned! ~

—E2189 & WP