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Blind Luck2: No Way Back

Notes:
1) This story picks up right after chapter 7 of Blind Luck ( storyid: 5886368) This installment will make no sense if you haven't read Blind Luck 1.
2)The epilogue of Blind Luck 1 still stands but as it is set 5 years from now, it'll be in the future for a while yet...
Now that I've started on BL2, BL1 needs a subtitle: 'The Way Out'
3) Errata: I made a few canon factual mistakes in BL1, most notably the opening times of the Touya Go club. In this series it runs from 10 am to 10 pm every day of the week. And Heart of Stone is open daily from 11 am to 11 pm. I don't see how I can fix this mistake without totally rewriting BL1, and I think I can spend my time better on writing BL2 (and maybe BL3?). I may make an attempt to make the times fit better in this fic, but most probably not.
Furthermore I was mistaken about a character name of one of the members of the Heart of stone Go club. I had remembered the older man as being Doumoto but his name should be Soga. I have corrected this in my BL1 uploads.
4) As of yet BL2 is not finished; about 1/3rd is still in the works. However I've had the first 2/3rd ready for some time now so I've decided to upload because there's really nothing more I want to do to this part.
As for the rest of this fic; I'm having trouble getting enough time with my betas 'cause they actually have a life.
But don't worry: BL2 will NOT be abandoned, even if after these 44k there may be another silent period. (God, I hope not!).
5) This story is a bit of a slow starter, sorry about that, just stick with it, it will pick up speed.
6) Many thanks to my betas: Amarthame & Maiden of Book

Well, so much for the author's whinging.
Now on to the story; please enjoy and don't forget to review!
(Please, please, review!)

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From Blind Luck1:

Just before they left the meeting room, Hikaru whispered,
'/I'm so glad you're back./' He pushed the chair back under the table as Sai opened the door. '/And I'm so gonna totally beat you at Go, sometime soon!/'
'/You can always try,/' was Sai's answer, as he navigated the doorway and was ready to field any and all of his new friends' questions.

Chapter 1.

The blind man who had been known to himself and others as 'Mayo' for the past year stepped out into the bigger area, flanked on the left by his new/old friend Shindou Hikaru, who had given him back his name only moments before. He was Fujiwara no Sai, Go tutor at the imperial court, dead a thousand years and a ghost that had haunted Go players. Also he was SAI, the Internet prodigy and mystery. And now he was here, in the flesh and blind to boot, and his only connection with his past was the teenager standing at his side.

It was a bit much to take in, but the fact that he believed every word the boy had spoken bolstered his confidence immensely. That is not to say there wasn't a lot here to work through, and a whole avalanche of questions to ask, most of which had probably not even occurred to him yet. But for now, he had a friend, who knew him from before, and that mattered to his heart more than the answers to a thousand questions.

'And?' Ogata asked. He sounded ever so slightly breathless.
Sai took a moment to gather his wits. Ogata had trusted him; taking him home proved that much. It hurt Sai that he could not give Ogata that same trust; he may not have known the man long but he sounded and acted like a thoroughly modern man, who'd consider himself far too rational to believe in fairy tales.
So that left disassembling and downright withholding of information.
And that worried Sai immensely, as he didn't think he was very good at that sort of thing. This apart from the fact that the prospect of repaying trust with falsehoods made the blind man's stomach turn.

Hikaru touched his hand to Sai's left, the one in the cast, trying to find some purchase. He settled in, gripping part of the cast.
Sai felt heartened by the touch, squeezed Hikaru's fingers awkwardly, took a deep breath and said, 'What was said is between Hikaru and myself, but he has told me two things of great importance,' Hikaru flinched at that, Sai squeezed his fingers again in reassurance.
'One, I am Sai. My full name is Fujiwara...' he almost added the /no/, 'Sai.' He paused a moment before continuing, 'The second is that I have no family; I'm all alone.'

It hadn't been until he had started speaking that he had realized that that was what really mattered in the story Hikaru had told him; Fujiwara no Sai had lived and died a thousand years ago, any family he had had was dead for almost as long. There was no father or mother, no sister or brother, nor aunts, uncles, cousins to come forward, ever. Sai's eyes filled with tears. All his dreams of one day finding his family lay dead, and their sudden death stabbed his heart with a sharp pain. In all the time he had longed for family, he had never wondered what they'd be like. Now that he knew he would never meet them, he yearned to know about them. Who were they, what were their relationships, their stories. What of their hopes and dream. All he could hope for now was that that bit of his memory would return to him some day, and he'd have a reintroduction of sorts. That would be nice, but he didn't feel that it would make up for the fact that he was all alone in this life.

Sai hung his head and started to turn away to hide his tears. Hikaru's hand on his plaster cast wrist stopped him.
/'You have me, don't you?'/
Sai was silent for a moment, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. /'Yes, I do,'/ he finally whispered, knowing even as he said it, that that was not the same as having real family. But maybe it would do. Sai certainly hoped it would. /'Thank you, Hikaru,'/ he added.

'Just a minute,' Ogata interrupted, sounding miffed. 'How do you know that for certain; there could still be someone, somewhere? Now that you know your name, family could be found, couldn't they? Why would you take his word for it?'
Sai's tears dried up, helped along by wiping his face with his right sleeve. He hadn't figured that he'd be having to field Ogata's questions just yet. He had hoped for more time to try and gauge the titleholder's mood and maybe be able to talk more privately. The blind man cursed his own lack of vision; he could not see the man's face to read his mood and he was too far away to feel his presence. Sai's heart plummeted when he realized that this would be where the confrontation would start. He turned back around, shoring up his courage and said,
'Ogata-san, I believe what Hikaru-kun says absolutely; there is no-one.'
'But how, why...?' Ogata sputtered.
Sai's heart thudded in his chest at the thought of losing this man's trust. He had been a good friend, letting a total stranger in his house and life, and he deserved better. But Sai could not give him better, and that realization hurt.

'Ogata-san,' Sai said, bowing, 'I'm sorry but I can't tell you more. You have given me trust, and I'm unable give you the same back, no matter how much I want to. I have never lied to you and you have my solemn oath I'm not lying now. Understand that I cannot explain my certainty without lying, so please let it go.' Sai knew that pleading might not be a good choice with the man, but still, lying would be worse.
'But...? Shindou has lied before about knowing you!' Ogata tried again. Sai squirmed to hear the accusation in his voice. Was there some sort of problem between the titleholder and the boy? And if there was, had Sai's former existence been a factor in that? He vehemently hoped not; it would complicate matter enormously.
'Please, I trust him,' Sai pleaded one last time. The plea was met with silence.
Sai swallowed, if Ogata could not accept this, and Sai knew he was asking for much here, their budding friendship would be lost. It hurt to face the loss, but as the silence continued, Sai had to take it as rejection.

Hanging his head, Sai sighed and said, 'I value your friendship greatly, Ogata-san, it will grieve me much to lose it. But I have no choice in this.'
'Shindou is making you do this, right?' Ogata hissed. Sai hadn't expected the man to be this angry, and the anger seemed to be firmly directed Hikaru and not at Sai at all. There really was something hostile going on between these two! Now Sai was caught in the middle, and he didn't like the position at all.
There was a footstep forward; Ogata's.
'Hey, lay of me, dude!' Hikaru said from besides him.
Sai stepped out a step in front of the boy, feeling the titleholder's presence very close to him. It had been an instinctive move to separate the two and diffuse the situation. He couldn't be sure there might not have been violence if he hadn't stepped in between them, but he really didn't want to find out. Also he knew he owed the boy a debt, one he could never repay, for Hikaru had let Sai totally derail his life, at the very least, when he had been a ghost.

Sai's heart hammered in his throat, knowing first hand Ogata's moments of 'forgetting himself' as he had called it. But better the man hurt the former ghost than the boy; after all Sai knew he could take it. He just hoped it wouldn't come to that.
'Ogata-san, this is my decision, not his. Deal with me!'
Ogata was now standing right in front of Sai as he spoke, his cigarette breath wafting in Sai's face.
'Why can't you explain it me? Don't you want family?'
The question felt like a punch straight to the heart. Not want family? He'd give his right arm for family! But he knew there was no-one, not after a thousand years!
'Of course I want family,' he started to explain patiently, his heart aching with the truth of the wish. 'But there just isn't anyone out there for me.' He hesitated, he'd come to crux of this argument and he needed to compose his next words carefully. 'I don't want to lose our friendship over this but, please, I can't explain it, I'm sorry.' He took a deep breath and continued, his voice sounding strained, 'I understand if you don't want me around anymore...'
'No!' This time Ogata's response was so quick it startled Sai. He couldn't be sure but he thought he'd detected fear in the tones. He heard Ogata sigh, his own heart slowing down in synergy.
'No, I meant what I said, I still want to play Go with you, and you're welcome at my house, for as long as you need it.'
Sai felt a weight lift from his heart, but just to be sure he asked, 'Even if I don't explain?'
Ogata sighed again. 'Even if you don't explain,' he confirmed. 'Not that I like it, but if that's the condition, then I will accept that.' He sounded defeated.
Sai breathed a sigh of relief; he would have been devastated, quite literally, if he had alienated the titleholder. He was under no illusion that there would be no more arguments, but for now it seemed he'd won. So far so good.

As if on cue Akira spoke up, 'Can we ask, uh, can we know anything more about what Hikaru told you?' Akira's voice had an odd tinge of concern, that Sai found touching. He contemplated what more he could divulge but realized that he really needed to confer with Hikaru before he revealed anything more. The little bit that he had revealed had made Hikaru squeeze his fingers almost painfully, and Sai could understand his concern, especially as it was Hikaru who knew all the details and Sai wouldn't know what was safe to say and what was not.
'Hell no!' Hikaru blurted out.
'Not right now, I think, Touya-kun,' was Sai's more diplomatic answer.
'Anyway, don't you wanna play?' Hikaru added.
What a good idea! Sai smiled. 'Of course I do,' he beamed, immensely grateful for the change of subject.

Hikaru moved his hand to Sai's elbow and gave him a tug to follow him. He guided Sai to a chair and then audibly flopped into a chair across from him.
/'Are you sure you are okay with all this?'/ came a whispered question by his left ear.
/'Yes, I trust Hikaru-kun, Touya-kun,'/ Sai answered. And that was the truth. He had only met the boy today, but their history spanned over two years of living in each other pockets. Sai was sure there would have been fights for dominance; their former unique situation pretty much guaranteed that. And Hikaru had said he hadn't been interested in Go at all before meeting a Go obsessed ghost. So something, or some things must have happened for Hikaru have become a Go pro in his own right.
/'And with Ogata-san?'/ Touya apparently was very perceptive too, he'd have to remember that.
/'I hope so...'/ Sai trailed off.

As Hikaru readied the game, Sai suddenly remembered he had promised to play Ogata today, first thing. Sai wanted to clear his debt, even though he had played Touya first this morning, he knew he should really be playing Ogata next. But he also wanted to find out more about his new/old friend. He wanted to see if he could see himself in Hikaru's Go.
The blind man and the titleholder had reached a truce of some sort, but Sai wasn't at all sure it would hold if he started to give the boy some of his time. Still he wanted to play his long time friend so much, it made his hands itch. Sai decided to brave the waters.

'Ogata-san, I know I still owe you a game, but would you mind if I played Hikaru-kun first?' he asked tentatively.
'Please?' he begged, when the other remained silent.
Ogata audibly snorted, and Sai realized the man's patience was wearing thin.
'Well okay, I need to check something in the office anyway.' the titleholder said. Then, to Sai's relief, he changed the subject to food by asking Akira to order lunch for all. His footsteps moved off to the left while Akira's went to the right, to where Sai remembered the receptionist's station was.

xXXx

/'You realize they ain't done askin', don't ya?'/ Hikaru whispered.
/'I know...'/ Sai touched his ragged sleeve covered fingertips to his mouth for a moment, then let his hand fall. He knew they'd come back to the same subject again and again. He just hoped he could keep strong.

'Do you /nigiri/, now?' Hikaru asked once they were truly alone.
Fair question Sai supposed.
'Well, as I can't see what my opponent's pulling out of the /goke/, I've given up on that...' he whinged.
'I don't suppose you play your own stones now, either?' Sai could hear the smile in the words.
'No, I'm afraid not.' Was Hikaru making fun of him?
'Well then, I'll lay the stones for you, pretty much the same as always!' Hikaru laughed and it sounded wonderful to Sai.

They worked out the practicality of it; Sai would say a coordinate and Hikaru would play it and answer with a coordinate of his own. The blind player had done it this with all his other games, so far, but it was new to Hikaru. That surprised Sai, who then realized he shouldn't have been; he had not been blind when he had been haunting the boy, he had merely been unable to actually play the stones onto the Goban.

Hikaru told him how they had worked it out while Sai had been a ghost and they first started playing together. He spoke of the confusion of the point of view of the coordinate system, since before they both had been sitting on the same side of the Goban, playing other people. And how they had had to abandon it in favor of Sai pointing with his fan.
Sai was very touched by the story, and realized as he gripped his folded up cane, he used the stiff bundle pretty much as one would use a fan for pointing and expressing himself. In new or unfamiliar company he would always keep his hands still in his lap, lets they start gesturing wildly and draw unwanted attention to himself, or accidentally him someone. He was glad to learn he had always had a fan before, as he was glad to learn of anything about himself before the amnesia, and he eagerly asked Hikaru about it.

'You always had it in your right hand,' the boy said thoughtfully.
'And when I dreamed of you that time, after you were gone, you gave it to me in the dream...' There was a movement across the board and something touched the palm of his right hand.
He took the item and touched it with the fingers of his left hand. It was long and rigged, made of paper and wood, and it felt very, very familiar.
'You dreamed of me?' Sai was oddly touched; to appear in someone's dreams was something special, he felt sure.
'Uh-hun,' the boy confirmed, 'I tried to talk to you but you didn't seem to hear me. In the end you gave me the fan and smiled. It...' he hesitated, 'I guess it made me feel like I was heard, even though you couldn't really hear me. Kinda...' he trailed off.
Sai fingered the fan, opened it, closed it, balanced it. The only odd thing about it was its balance; it was off somehow, the rest was very familiar.
'But,' Sai started, gripping the closed fan tight for a moment, 'this can't possibly be...?'
'Uh... no,' Hikaru said from his position across the Goban, 'this one I bought after I had the dream. It's been with me ever since.'
Sai stiffened; he had had dreams too over the last year; strange, disjointed dreams. Not unhappy or nightmarish, for the most part, but very unsettling and most often he wouldn't remember any of them when he woke. Just odd and disconcerting feelings.
He wondered if he had dreamed of his friend; if maybe he _had_ given the young man his fan.

'Sai?'
Sai blinked and focused again on his surroundings, such as they were.
'Are you okay?' came the concerned question again.
'Yes..., yes,' he said with a little bit more confidence at the second word. His nightmares had plagued him before and would do so again he felt sure, but for now he wanted to think of something else.
He held out the fan for the boy to take back, saying, 'Your turn, I believe.'
Hikaru didn't take the fan, but instead said, 'Uh, you should have that, it's yours after all...'
Sai held out the fan again.
'No, I have other things to hold onto now and as I gave it to you, it's yours and no-one else's.' Sai offered the fan more firmly.
Hikaru's chair squished a bit as he moved and the fan was taken this time. As it slipped through his fingers, Sai felt a tassel at the end of the handle. He was sure his had never had a tassel and with that certainty came the good feeling of passing the fan to its rightful owner.
In compensation Sai gripped the bundle of his folded cane. That also felt right, his companion of the last year. He turned his mind to the game after that.

oOOo

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