I do not own Gone. The characters belong to Michael Grant, and used here for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement intended.

~ Seven Years Gone ~

The lengths we will go to hide our pain will only increase the sorrow in our hearts

Astrid:

Astrid spat her gum into the gutter. She tried to keep her high heel clad feet out of puddles as she hailed a cab. The streets weren't that busy so getting a cab wouldn't be too tricky, but the sun was setting and she wanted to get off the streets and back home before dark. These streets could become dangerous for unaccompanied attractive women. Through all that Astrid had been through, she did not need another incedent.

Work had seemed to drag on forever today as it had every day for months. Of course, everyday was difficult. The challenge it was to live her life clean and sober. She wanted a drink, she wanted to drink so much she would forget all the bullshit in her life. Of course, if she was going to forget all the bullshit, she may as well forget her entire life altogether.

No, that wasn't true. There where positives in her life, some lights that still shown through the black web of turmoil. She had friends, yes, people who gave a shit about her. People who had helped her off her self-destructive path. They had put so much time and energy and compassion into getting Astrid back on track, she couldn't throw it all away to numb the pain. If she drank, that would lead to the crumbling of every stone she had laid for her foundation of life. If not for her sake, for the sake of her friends who had so much faith in her recovery. A new life, a new chance.

A cab pulled up in front of her and she got in the back seat. He asked her where her destination was and an address popped into her mind on instinct. It was so instinctive that she almost said it out loud. Two-One-Five Reed Street, number seven. Stop! She had to stop thinking of that place, the place where he lived. It was unacceptable and she would not allow herself to be drawn into that confusion again. Remembering that the cabbie was still waiting for directions, she hastily gave him the address of her place of residence and sat back to mentally scold herself for the thousandth time that day. It was always the same everyday. Get up, eat, go to work, come home, sleep. But every time she woke up it was drenched in sweat from the nightmares. She took no pleasure in eating food, the taste was dull no matter what she ate. She worked long hours to keep herself busy and her mind occupied to avoid thinking of other unsavory topics. Usually unsuccessful attempts. When she came home she was greeted by her roommates, but for all their love, they were not Him.

Sam...

No! She would not think of him! She refused to be that weak. He had been the one who had told her everything was going to be alright. He had brought hope to her every despair. He had shone like the sun in a dark and pitiful existence. He had pulled her out of the rubble and shown her that the FAYZ wall had come down. He had smiled at her, bringing the news of their freedom and salvation. He had shown her happiness and pleasure beyond anything that she could imagine. But he was not an angel. He was flawed in many ways worse than anyone who survived. He brought her down. She loved him and he had, or so Astrid had thought, loved her as well. But through all their affection he was not happy. He pushed her away, not kindly. Not sparing her feelings he had thrown her out like a dirty towel, to be disposed of when used. He had said it was for her own good but Astrid could argue the point. God knew she loved to argue. When he was rid of her, Astrid spiraled downwards. She had lost her rock, her lifeline, her reason and her will to go on. She was left with a gaping hole where he should have been. She had tried to fill that hole with booze. That didn't work very well. Then came the men, different every night. That, while being quite enjoyable, hadn't worked to fill the gap either. Then came the drugs, a last resort and a desperate attempt to rid herself of the images of dying children. The images of drake and his whip hand snaking around her. The memories of what that psychotic slime had done to her...Yes, the drugs had been an effective way to escape. All because she had lost Sam. He'd kept her sane in a truly crazy world and without him, she had fallen apart. So no, she would not think of him, at least not with any kind of sympathy or affection.

Now that she was clean and sober she had to deal with those images of the monstrous things she witnessed in the FAYZ, but she had others to lean on now. She depended on her friends so much, she couldn't deal without them. She didn't want to.

So she expelled all unpleasant thoughts from her mind as she began chewing another gum, watching the downtown buildings of Los Angeles blur as the cab went on its way. It was nice to live with other people. She had moved in with Jack and Brianna at the beginning of her recovery. Sanjit was already staying with the couple, and the four of them together made life bearable. She didn't know why they had all banded together like they did, maybe it was the mutual experiences or the sheer loneliness. No one would understand her better than those people, maybe except Sam...

She cursed under breath as her thoughts drifted back to her former lover. She wished not for the first time that she had never met Sam. She wished she could forget every memory she had with him. She wished harder than anything that she did not have to think of him ever again.

But she did think of him. With love and hate, passion and betrayal, lust and disgust, she thought of him. As much as she wished she could, she could never be rid of the bastard who had ruined her life.

Sam:

Sam rose from his bed, an action which received a confused grunt from the girl laying in it. What did she think, that because they'd had great sex he now wanted to cuddle? No way, not with her, he wasn't even sure if he could remember her name. Mandy? Something like that. That wasn't the point, the point was that he'd gotten what he wanted and he was sure she had a good time too, so what the hell did she expect?

"Hey," Mandy said, a satisfied smile resting on her lips. "That was...incredible," the girl giggled and tried to pull Sam back onto the bed. He moved out of her reach and began redressing. He was not in the mood for this mushy stuff. He wished she would realize how uninterested he was in her and leave already. "Oh come on, don't get all 'mopey' on me and come and have some f-"

"I'm tired and I have to get up for work tomorrow. I need sleep" He didn't want to give excuses, he wanted her gone.

"I'm not stopping you"

"Yes, actually you are," He snapped.

"Do you have a problem or something?" whats-her-name said.

That hit a nerve. "Yes, I have a million problems. Happy? But there's only one that concerns you, Mandy, and its laying in my bed."

He could tell that he had hurt her, but right now he couldn't bring himself to care. So what if she was hurt, it was nothing compared to what he had been through. She would just have to deal with it. He was proven right by the fact that she angrily got up and got dressed. Very quickly. She stormed towards the door, her blond hair swishing when she abruptly turned around to face him. "By the way, its Miranda. Bastard." she spat before leaving. Sam locked the door after she left and returned to his bedroom, glad the girl was gone.

Sam fell onto his bed. He regretted bringing Mand-Miranda here to his place. He had tried to get her to invite him o hers, that would have made it a lot easier to escape mushy affections...afterwards. But she wouldn't take him to her place, claiming she had roommates who hated when she brought guys home. He could have found another girl at the trashy club but he wanted her. after all, Miranda's resemblance to Her was incredible. Fine blond hair, soft facial features, delicate body...Her personality in contrast was nothing like Astrid. Miranda was loud and annoying. It insulted the girl she looked like.

Perhaps it was the booze, maybe the heartache, but every time Sam went out for drink he always tried to get one who resembled the woman he longed for the most. It was pointless, he knew. Astrid could never be his again, he had let that ship sail and it was never coming back. His fault, and now he was paying for it. But god he missed her. He missed everything. The smiles, the arguments, the small touches...He tried to substitute but none of them were her. None of them could ever fill in for Astrid. There was no hope for him to be happy, not without her. He was hollow and nothing could fill the void left in his shattered heart, no healer could take away the pain of having your other half ripped from you. He was incomplete without her, and she could never be his again so he knew he would remain this way for as long as he held on to his pathetic life.

He pushed her away. He couldn't be what she deserved. What she needed. She may have received a broken heart from his actions but if she had a chance for a normal life it wouldn't be with him. She would never be happy with him, there was too many painful memories she was forced to relive every time she looked at him. It was slowly killing her so he had let her go. He wasn't happy then but living without Astrid now was killing him...slowly.

So why bother live? If you were at the lowest of low, the bottom wrung of life, why continue? Was it because he had survived Drake? Was it because he had survived starvation, thirst and sickness? All the lengths which he went to survive would be for nothing if he gave up now. The FAYZ had turned him into a survivor. Somehow that gave living a purpose. Maybe not that much of a purpose but it was all that he had.

Sam rolled over and fell into the embracing arms of sleep. He dreamt of Astrid. She was as beautiful as an angel...more beautiful even. She laughed with him as they walked along the beach. This dream was bliss. No horror, no terror. Fear was a thing of the past. He could live happily in this dream, taking an endless stroll on the beach with her. He would need nothing else, but to feel her arms in his once more.

Astrid:

"...And now for the breaking news. Authorities have confirmed the escape of criminally insane convict Drake Merwin from custody this morning. The official statement is that the FBI and the L.A.P.D. are working to locate the convict, but are unable to provide any more details. An unconfirmed tip states that the authorities have thus far no leads although they can neither confirm nor deny the validity of this statement. The search for Merwin has been classified top priority and the police are recommending that all residents within the area on Los Angeles be on their guard and never travel alone although they strongly discourage panic. More details of this matter will be discussed on the morning news. "

Astrid couldn't move. She was frozen on the couch. The fear gripped her heart like she was bait, a helpless worm on the end of a hook. waiting for the predator to come.

The last words Drake said to Astrid came back.

Drake advanced to her, his eyes filled with lust and anger. Astrid's heart was about to explode if it pounded any faster. Fear release adrenaline into her system, the fear was so bad it hurt like a knife caressing her heart. He would get his way with her now, there was no one to stop him. He would get what he wanted and there was nothing Astrid could do. She was helpless to save herself, helpless to save her brother, helpless to do anything.

"That's right, Pretty, your helpless and I'm not going to hold back any longer. Your mine and very soon you will be dead but not after I defile your body and made you beg me for mercy. You will beg me to kill you, and you'll find I can have a lenient side to me. the last thing you will experience in this twisted world will be my mercy."

Fear choked her, she couldn't move or talk. She could barely breath.

"ASTRID!" that was Sam. He was looking for her. It was all she could do to let out a tangled scream. Sam would find her, he would kill Drake, he would save her.

Drake knew this. He knew the only person who could kill him was Sam. He seethed and cursed and whipped his snake hand into a wall, it crumbled with ease. Bits of drywall and plaster were flung everywhere, parts of the ceiling came down too. It covered Astrid where she sat, but she couldn't move to free herself. Drakes whip hand touched her leg, she writhed to free herself of his touch.

"Be nice, you don't want me to get angrier. I will have my way with you, I have patience and I will never stop. No matter where you hide, no matter how long it takes, I. Will. Have. You."

Astrid remembered those words like they were spoken yesterday. For all it was worth, they may as well have been. Drake would find her, he was on the loose and he would do everything in his power to fulfill his vow.

A/N: Yes I know its dark. It's suposed to be.

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