UPDATE - Okay guys, this is a very old piece of work. Very angst-ish. Very….shall we say, immature? Not a whole lot of depth of…well, mostly it's not at all my best, far from it. I guess I'd just thought I'd put it out there so maybe some rainy day a person would come around, read it and be amused... Le sigh.

I did do a ton of revision to it so it would be less…choppy and abstract. So now, I think I've got it about as good as it is going to get. This isn't my typical genre and I don't know that I'll ever be doing one like this again. J

Kagome is suffering from a mysterious illness, and no one seems to understand what's wrong. Will Inuyasha be able to save her before it's too late, or will Kagome be lost to him forever? For their struggling relationship it's either the end or a new start.

A/N- I wanted to do this as a chapter thing, but I don't have the time now…or ever. Anywho, I don't own it, don't make money off it and I can't draw.

Please review or I'll cry. Lol, jk.


Stalemate

"Oi," Inuyasha called to Kagome. "Keep up! I ain't waitin' around all day!"

Kagome glared at him as she struggled to get to the top of the hill. He was in his usual jewel hunting frenzy, hell-bent on getting nowhere fast.

"It's easy for you to say," she mumbled under her breath. "You're not wearing a skirt!"

And that was part of it, but the other, larger, part was that she was just tired. It had been a long day, and they hadn't stopped to rest. She was hungry, achy and dirty.

"Wench!" he barked from somewhere ahead of her, she couldn't see him anymore.

"Hold your horses!" she called back, trying not to let the pant into her voice. "I'm going as fast as I can."

In the past Inuyasha might have carried her, but these days she refused. She would never be able to hold her own if he coddled her all the time, and that's what she told him. She remembered it well…

"What do you think you're doing?" he yelled as they landed. "That HURT wench!"

"I don't want you to carry me anymore!" she yelled back.

"You didn't have to KICK me!"

"You wouldn't listen, you BAKA!"

"I stopped listening because you just complain all the time!"

"Well, excuse me! I can't help it if I'm not as strong as the great big half-demon!"

"No," he retorted. "You're just a weak human!"

Kagome shot him a glare. "I know."

"Whatever, wench," he replied, crossing his arms. "If you want to walk, fine, walk. Just don't expect me to wait around for you all day."

"Don't do me any favors," she said with angry tears in her eyes. She doubted he'd ever talk to his beloved Kikyo that way.

"Keh," he said stiffly, almost as if reading her thoughts. "You better keep up, is all I meant. I'll pick your butt up and drag you if it comes to it."

Kagome looked away.

Kagome feared it was coming to that. She quickened her pace and tried to make up for some of the distance she had already lost. It was nearing nightfall, which meant that soon they'd have to make camp. The sooner she caught up the sooner she could nag Inuyasha to stop for the night.

That gave her added energy.

But her attempt was in vain; as she kept on she could see that he was actually waiting for her, a scowl on his face. She might get dragged yet.

"Nice to see you again," she said, holding a stitch in her side. "How's it going?"

"Slow," Inuyasha responded, looking at her with concern. "I suppose you want to stop for the night? It might be a good idea. I think there could be a storm coming. I can smell rain."

"I would like to catch up with Sango and Miroku," she said. "The sooner we catch up the sooner we can start tracking Naraku and the shards."

Kagome let the backpack she had on slide to the ground. Her back ached so badly that when she pushed her shoulder blades together it brought tears to her eyes.

"I doubt he's on the move," Inuyasha said, looking in the direction of the setting sun. "I think he's waiting for us."

Kagome glanced at him.

"It's probably good for them to get some alone time anyway," she said, rubbing her neck. "It'll give them time to work things out."

Inuyasha snorted. "Whatever."

There was a silence between them.

"You wanna stop then?" he asked again after a while. Things had been awkward for them lately.

"How far is the village?" Kagome asked hesitantly.

Inuyasha shrugged. "It's about four hours away yet."

Kagome looked in the direction of Kaede's village and sighed.

"No," she said, surprising him. "I'd just as soon walk it tonight as drag it on into tomorrow."

"At night?" he asked doubtfully. "Seems like a bad idea. You never know what scary stuff is lurking about after dark."

Kagome laughed. "Are you afraid, Inuyasha?" she asked.

He snorted. "Never."

Kagome gave him her brightest smile. "Then I'll race you!"

She spurred off in the direction she knew to go, leaving him with the backpack.

"Hey!" he called. "You can't do that!" He grabbed the bag and began to chase after her.

Really it was just her way of playing with him; they both knew she didn't stand a chance.

Kagome ran until her lungs burned, a smile on her face the whole time, even when Inuyasha passed her with a yank on her hair. She just laughed and tripped him.

Really, she had ulterior motives. She needed to see the priestess because she had a feeling something was a foul. Something inside her.

"Kagome," he said as she walked toward him, he was waiting for her once more. "If you let me carry you we could be there in less than half the time."

"No," she said firmly. She wanted to be able to hold her own.

He looked at her, his gaze disapproving. "I think that you should let me."

Kagome looked at him. It was so rare for him to give her a choice that for a moment she almost let her eyes widen, instead she smiled at him.

"I think you're right," she said after a minute.

"I am?"

"Yeah," she said staring off and into the distance. "We should camp for the night, I just saw lightening."

"Oh." He said dumbly. "We probably want to find some shelter then."

Kagome laughed. "No problem, Mama made me pack a little something. She told me it would come in handy in case we have a rainy spring."

"What is it?" Inuyasha asked as Kagome pulled things from her bag.

"A tent!" she said cheerfully.

"A what?"

Kagome smiled and tossed him a tarp.

"It's a makeshift shelter," she told him sweetly. "Now put that on the ground so we don't get wet."

"Okay," he said as he unfolded it and spread it out. "How does it work?"

"Well, the one Mama got me is inflatable, you just have to stake it to the ground so you don't blow away."

"Inflate?"

"Air holds it up," Kagome explained. Inuyasha looked at her as if she had just told him the sky was purple.

"That's about the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

Kagome ignored him and pulled out a green plastic-like thing from her bag. She walked it over and set it down in the middle of the tarp where Inuyasha was patiently waiting to see how exactly she planned to make them a shelter out of a pile of junk. Then, just when she was beginning to see the doubt in his eyes, she flipped a little switch and the air began to flow.

"What is that noise?" Inuyasha asked as the built in compressor made a loud mechanical sound.

"It's nothing to worry about," Kagome told him as he covered his ears. "It will stop automatically in a second. I'm just going to tap these into the ground so it will stay put!"

Kagome then took a rock and began hammering in the stakes one by one. Just as she finished she looked up and Inuyasha was gone.

"Inuyasha?" she called over the inflator. "Inuyasha!"

There was no answer. She looked out into the trees hoping to spot him, but there wasn't a flash of red in sight. There was, however, ribbons of light in the far distance…they looked vaguely familiar.

Then Kagome recognized them. They were Kikyo's soul stealers. He had gone to his past love while she was distracted.

Suddenly Kagome felt very lonely. The darkness inside her, a very familiar void these days, opened up and took another small part of her. It had been happening more frequently lately, she had been…not herself. Mostly she felt moody and depressed, but also hopeless and tired. At first she had thought it was merely the stress of living two lives, but recently she felt it was something much more sinister…like something very important had been stolen from her.

She looked at her smallish tent. Enough room for four, supposedly, but it was still small. It would be odd having him so near…if he came back at all.

Her stomach grumbled. She had forgotten how hungry she was. She looked around, there weren't any streams nearby to fish and she was rotten at hunting. She had seen some leaves that would make a nice tea, but for that she would need hot water and if she already had water hot she could fix ramen...

So Kagome started building a fire and as it came to life she picked some plants and flowers for herself and Inuyasha if he would come. Then, she went inside the tent and looked around. It was so bare and dark. She hung a flash light from the center of the top and drug in her yellow backpack with her sleeping bag and supplies. The little green tent would be a nice little place from her to call home for the night, even if she was all alone.

She noticed that the fire was nice and hot so she poured some water that she always carried on her into a small pot and waited for it to boil. Ramen was practically gourmet in the Feudal Era. Too bad Inuyasha was off doing whatever it was he did, he would miss a nice meal. She wished she could just chalk it up to his loss, but a strange part of her felt a great longing at his lack of presence.

Kagome sighed to herself. There was definitely going to be a storm tonight. She could see the big grey clouds rolling toward her, flashes of lightening streaking the sky in its wake. What a terrible night to not have any company. If she were at home she could enjoy the rain and cozy up in her favorite chair and just watch the show nature had graced her with…but in the wilderness weather had a nasty habit of becoming more frightful than if you live in a nice sturdy house.

She listened as the thunder rolled in the distance.

"I brought back dinner," Inuyasha said from behind her, making her jump about a foot in the air.

"Inuyasha!" she said as she spun around and saw him standing there, a rabbit in one hand and some sort of root vegetable in the other.

"Think we can get this stuff cooked before the storm?"

"…I dunno."

Did he really just go to get her dinner? Maybe he hadn't noticed the soul stealers in the distance. She doubted it.

"Wow," he said, looking at the tent. "The shelter you put up actually looks pretty good, wench."

"Thanks."

Then, in that moment when he though she wasn't looking, he shot her the most guilty look with his ears pulled back and his eyes wide. The look told her all she needed to know. He had been with Kikyo.

"Well," said Inuyasha, looking at the fire and the small meal Kagome had made. "It looks like we're going to have a big dinner tonight."

Kagome watched as Inuyasha started making a stew, adding the ramen noodles and vegetables, picking through her herbs and selecting only some. Apparently he was designing his own little recipe. If she wasn't so unhappy she would have thought it was cute. She just watched him as he worked, and when he was done and they were just waiting for it to cook, she didn't say a word to him…afraid of what may happen if she broke the uneasy silence.

"I'm sorry," he said after a long while. "I really just went to get information…I didn't know how to tell you."

Kagome closed her eyes. It was rare for him to speak on the matter. She must look as terrible as she felt.

"Not telling me and just leaving is much worse," she said with false chipper. "I know you don't want to hurt my feelings, Inuyasha. I really do understand. I know it's not personal."

But the problem was, to her it was personal.

"Yeah," he said, clearly uncomfortable. "Foods almost done. We should put out the fire and eat it inside. The rain is about to come."

Kagome and Inuyasha wordlessly cleaned up their outdoor kitchen and brought the few things they had outside in. Kagome had warmed some blankets and night clothes by the fire, thinking that the rain might make it too cool for comfort. On her way in she handed one to Inuyasha.

"Thanks," he mumbled, not even bothering to tell her how weak she was. Kagome thought it might have been nice, if it were for the right reasons.

She went to the corner, and with her back to him she silently changed into her pajamas. She took comfort from their heat and soon felt a little of her old self coming back.

"The stew was really delicious, Inuyasha," she told him with a small genuine smile.

He perked.

"You think?"

"Yeah," she reaffirmed. "It really hit the spot."

"Good."

Then, without realizing it, Kagome closed her eyes and inhaled. It felt good to be her again, if only for a minute.

"Are you okay, wench?"

"Right now I am perfect," she told him tiredly. Her long day was catching up to her. On the roof of the tent she could hear the soft pitter patter of the first wave of rain. "I do like the rain."

"It makes your hair curlier," Inuyasha commented, Kagome could tell it was his version of a compliment.

"Thank you," she said graciously. "It's the humidity."

"The what?"

"Never mind."

Kagome reached up and turned off the light. Then she lay down in her warm sleeping bag, leaving Inuyasha to do what he would in the dark.

"Kagome?"

"Yes?"

"Are you still mad?" he asked gingerly, almost childlike.

In the deep night she felt the cold dark void twitch inside her. It was a warning that they were in dangerous waters.

"Yes," she said without realizing it. As soon as the word left her mouth she knew that she hadn't meant to say it.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"Inuyasha," she said, sitting back up in the tent reaching out her hand to find him. "I don't mean that I'm mad at you, I'm not. I'm mad at me for being so silly, okay? If you need to see Kikyo, for Naraku or for other reasons, that is your choice and I need to learn to respect that."

Inuyasha let those words hand between them.

"It is for Naraku," he said plainly. "I know the Kikyo I knew all those years ago is dead. I know this Kikyo is a shadow and not a person…it's just odd it all. My nose tells me one thing, and my brain tells me another…."

"I really do understand," Kagome said, reaching out and taking his hand. "Besides, no matter what, Inuyasha, I will stay by your side."

"I know."

"Good, go to sleep then."


"Okay… I guess," she said. "But just this once!"

He squatted down; she put on the pack and climbed on. In no time they were bounding through the forest, leaving everything else behind them.

Kagome loved the way it felt to be so close to him. It was almost intimate. Almost. She loved the way he smelled, the way he braced her thighs every time they landed so she wouldn't be jerked, the way he would turn his head so slightly when he thought she was asleep, just to check on her.

She missed it.

But really, it wasn't hers to miss.

She was eager to see Kaede. Something was wrong with her and she was concerned. The darkness was growing, she was sure She didn't feel right, like she was slowly slipping from herself, to a place that was cold and desperate.

She didn't know what it was, but she knew if anyone could help her it would be her mentor.

She snuggled her head down into Inuyasha's neck.

Inuyasha. Not her lover, not her friend…something in the middle. She was worried about him. It was the dead priestess who had been giving Inuyasha his leads, where to look and how to defeat Naraku. She knew that running between her and his past love was taking its toll on him, too.

It had been heartbreaking at first, but now she was accustomed to the familiar sting she felt whenever she looked up and he wasn't there. Just like last night. It wasn't the sting of him leaving that was bothering her anymore, but the dark feelings it brought on. The thing lurking inside.

After all, he wasn't really hers to harp over.

Besides, what right did she have to complain? Kikyo was helping, and it was no secret that he loved her. If anything Kagome should be glad for the assistance. It was her responsibility to see the jewel completed, she was the one who broke it.

She had resigned herself to second best.

She knew Inuyasha had noticed the change the night before, and misunderstood it as heartache. She pushed him away and now they were here, at a stalemate. He had insisted that she let him carry her and she had reluctantly agreed, still feeling weak from the day before.

Kagome watched scenery fly by and closed her eyes. If only her stubborn pride would let her do this more often. If only she could let herself live the life before.

But walking made her strong. She felt when she forced herself to do what he did, running and fighting and gathering, then she could also be strong enough to push back the whole that was gaping in her heart. After all, he was the strongest person she knew…

Today, however, she had woken up achier and fatigued more then she had before they made their little camp and went to bed. So, when Inuyasha insisted that she ride on his back, it was easy to let him sway her.

"Wake up," Inuyasha said to her over his shoulder. Her eyes opened. Had she fallen asleep? "We're almost there."

She squeezed him in acknowledgement.

Kagome didn't want them to be there. This was a rare indulgence for her, to be close to someone, but she knew it was for the best. It wasn't wise to get attached to things you couldn't have.

Kagome let herself enjoy the feel of being content for a few more minutes before Inuyasha made his final landing. Where had the time gone? Secretly Kagome wished she wouldn't have fallen asleep. She would rather be miserable with him then in perfect health without him.

"We're here," he declared. She slipped off his back and yawned.

"Thanks for the ride Inuyasha," she said. She was exhausted, she didn't want to think what would have happened if they'd walked all the way the night before. She'd probably pass out from exhaustion before they got another mile.

"You know, I really don't mind," he said as they landed and she slid off his back. "I think it's better if you let me carry you."

A year ago, a month ago, even a week ago that simple statement might have warmed her heart. Today, it just fell on deaf ears.

"I know you don't mind, Inuyasha," she said softly under her breath. "It's just something that I have to do so I can get stronger."

Inuyasha looked at her. She knew what he was seeing. She was paler and thinner than ever before. Her hair had lost some of its luster and her eyes were matted. She did not want to push him out; she just didn't feel like she had any choice.

"I guess I understand, Kagome," he said after he was sure she was finished. "I just think you're pretty strong already…wouldn't want to push yourself too far. You know, you're probably the strongest person I know…maybe not in physical strength, but in other ways."`

Kagome smiled a little to herself, feeling a bit more like her.

"Thanks, Inuyasha."

"Kagome!" said a bouncing orange blur.

"Shippo!" she called back, holding her arms out to catch him.

"You're finally back!" he said with enthusiasm. "We've all been waiting for you! We should be ready to head out again in a few days, but we were afraid you wouldn't make it back in time and-"

"We're back now, that's all that matters," Kagome said gently.

"It seemed like forever!"

Inuyasha bonked the kit on the head.

"Hey," he said with displeasure. "It wasn't that long, runt."

Maybe if I wasn't so slow, Kagome thought to herself. Maybe the others wouldn't have to worry so much…I just feel so weak. I have to get stronger or this thing will take over me…

"Sorry Shippo," Kagome said sheepishly.

"It's okay," Shippo said brightly. "I'm just glad your back. Kaede needs your help with some things."

"I think you better take it easy today, Kagome," Inuyasha interjected, placing one clawed hand on her shoulder.

Kagome brushed the hand off.

"Let's go see what Kaede needs," she said brightly, carrying Shippo down the path.

"Keh," Inuyasha mumbled, watching them go. "This just reeks of trouble."


"Good morning, Kagome," said an elderly voice from above her the next day. Kagome opened her eyes; it couldn't be morning already could it? She still felt pooped.

"Good morning Kaede," she replied, the usual chipper gone from her voice. "How late have I slept?"

"Oh, it's a little past noon," she said softly, kneading something in a bowl. "Inuyasha said to leave ye; he said you needed the rest."

Kagome snorted. Leave it to him.

"Kaede," she said suddenly, wanting to talk with the old woman before Inuyasha returned from wherever he was. They had been so busy yesterday, and Shippo had been with them, so she had not gotten the chance. The little fox demon never left her alone long these days; it was almost as if the he knew too. "I think I need to talk to you."

"Hmm?" asked Kaede, intent on her work. "Is it about the jewel shards?"

"Well, yes," said Kagome. "But, no."

Kaede laughed to herself. "Well, that's hardly an answer, child."

"When is it not about the shards?" she asked a bit bitterly. Kaede, caught off guard by the tone in her voice looked up.

"What ails ye then, Kagome?"

Kagome sighed, looking for words that didn't make her seem crazy. "Something's wrong with me Kaede. I feel like I'm on the brink of something terrible and there isn't anything I can do to catch myself," she said sadly. "I think I'm sick, Kaede, in more ways than one."

Kaede quirked an eyebrow, but didn't look worried. "My child," she said, "it is common for a girl on the brink of adulthood to feel overwhelmed. You're nearly nineteen now, it's just the mind preparing itself for what lie ahead."

Kagome shook her head. "No, that's not it at all." She then proceeded to tell Kaede about how she'd been tired and unlike herself. She told her about Inuyasha and how she felt sick all the time.

When she was done Kaede didn't look any more concerned than before.

"It's just lovesick that ye be Kagome. Perhaps ye should more on to greener pastures, child."

For some reason the comment both stung and shocked Kagome. Never before had anyone ever said anything like that to her regarding Inuyasha. They'd all told her to wait. That he would come around eventually.

If they didn't think so anymore, how could she?

Kagome thanked Kaede for her company and left the hut. She wanted to bath, to feel clean again. She had a long day ahead of her.


A few days passed and the group left the village. Kagome continued to move in and out of herself. It was like flipping a light switch inside of her, some days it was dark, some days it was light.

It was nice to be with the others, but she could tell she was worse. She gave up on any façade of happiness unless she absolutely had to. She stopped caring about her appearance and started wandering off at night because she could no longer sleep.

Inuyasha was worried. Sango and Miroku both blamed him, and he was of the same opinion. Kagome was … wrong. Kagome knew where all the blame was being laid and didn't say a word against it. Partly because she wished he would stop sneaking off to see Kikyo and partly because she was indifferent on the matter.

Perhaps it was this indifference that gave her away to the others; perhaps it was Inuyasha's decision to stop seeking out Kikyo when she called. She could tell that they were quickly beginning to see that something else was wrong, something more than the half-demon sneaking off to see his old flame. After a while she could hear the others whisper about her a night, they were worried about her. Even young Shippo said her scent had changed, but he couldn't place it.

"Do you think it's merely despair at Inuyasha's inappropriate behavior?" Miroku asked to the others while they thought she slumbered.

"I'm not so sure anymore," Sango replied. "Inuyasha has not been to see Kikyo for a very long time and yet Kagome is still very sad."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not even here!"

"What do you think it is, Inuyasha?" Shippo asked, clearly very frightened that something may be wrong with the woman who acted as his mother and friend.

"I dunno," Inuyasha interjected a hint of sadness in his voice.

"I am beginning to think that it is more than just a sadness that has taken over Kagome," Miroku stated simply. "I believe that something is affecting her very essence."

"But what could it be?" asked Sango.

"And why?" asked Inuyasha.

None of them said anything for a moment, but then Shippo spoke.

"It's because she is the glue that holds us all together," he said softly. "We all need her so much and we all take a little bit. I think right now Kagome just can't give to anybody but herself, so she's avoiding us to make it easier. I think she would be her normal self if she could."

They all contemplated that a moment.

Kagome found some solace in the youngest member of the group's words. When she finally drained from the truthful statement all she could she allowed sleep to overtake her. She didn't care what else they had to say.

The others were in agreement that Kagome needed tending. However, they had long since left Kaede's hut and now they were too far away to seek any council. Inuyasha would have turned them around to go back, but they would lose what little ground they covered and there was no guarantee it would even help Kagome. Kaede certainly hadn't noticed that last time they were there. So they tracked on.

Kagome no longer had much will to do anything, she only ate when there was someone there to watch and she only bathed if Inuyasha told her there was a body of water nearby. She would have simply let herself die if she were not so concerned with the people around her and how she knew they would blame themselves. The part of her that was still Kagome was inside fighting to get out. It was faint, but resolute. Even so, the quiet unfeeling absence of life sounded appealing.

It wasn't until one night when the new moon was out that she knew that she could get away with what she wanted to do.

Inuyasha was in his human form and that was just perfect.

As usual he refused to sleep, but Kagome knew a way around that.

"Where you off to wench?" he asked her as she got up to leave camp. She hadn't made any attempt to sleep, it was under the guise that she wanted to stay up with Inuyasha, but they both knew better.

"I think I want to go use the bathroom."

Inuyasha didn't buy it. "You think? I think not."

Kagome looked at him for a long time. "I'm going now, Inuyasha."

He didn't make any protest to stop her, just closed his eyes and asked whatever entity that was listening to bring him patience.

Kagome wandered off into the woods, looking around. Once she would have been scared. Now all she felt was a deafening quiet in her person that made her apprehensive, but fearless.

She walked for a long time. Then she sat down on a rock. It was hard and uncomfortable, and for those reasons she liked it. She looked around her. Everything was hushing at her.

Shh Shhh Shhh, it said. Be quiet.

Yes, thought Kagome, I'll be very quiet.

She looked down at herself. She was a mess, a disgrace, a burden. She just upset everyone, Kikyo was the real shard detector, no one needed her…no one wanted her…she didn't want herself really …shh shhh shhhh.

Yes, though Kagome, I won't make a sound.

"Kagome!" said a faint voice in the distance. It was Sango. "Are you nearby?"

Kagome didn't answer. The voice wasn't too close. It wouldn't find her in time.

"Miroku said to come find you, that you might have gone off to find a hot spring!"

It was a thinly veiled lie at best, but the part of her that was still Kagome felt relief that someone had even come at all.

From her left palm she brought the arrow point from the one that had once sealed Inuyasha to a sacred tree. She didn't know why she kept it, just that she had always thought it might come in handy. She also didn't know why she chose it for this task now…she wasn't even sure why she wanted to do what she was about to. All she knew is that once it sealed Inuyasha to a tree and now it would seal her to her fate.

She didn't want to. Not really. It didn't make much sense.

"Kagome!"

But she had to, it was the only way.

She looked at the arrow in her hand. It seemed to menial. Someone 500 years from now would look at it and see nothing special, but to her it was more priceless than rubies or gold.

"Kagome!" called Sango. She was closer now. It was time.

Then she looked at the arrow and did what it told her. She opened her mouth to swallow it, but the darkness inside her made her freeze and took control of her frail body.

How odd, she thought to herself. Surely this thing inside me is the inspiration behind the weird desire I have to put this in my body.

She barely noticed herself falling from the rock to the ground.

Yes, she thought. Swallow the arrow.

She put it in her mouth, but that was as far as she got.


"Inuyasha!" called Sango, hoping he could hear her in his human form. "Miroku, Shippo!"

Really, anyone could come. Sango knew the moment Kagome got up to leave that something wasn't right. She had the same look in her eye that Kohaku got when he was no longer himself.

Kirara was the first to answer her calls. Sango quickly grabbed up Kagome and put her on the fire cat demon's back. Nothing really seemed wrong with Kagome, she was just…lifeless. Sango could still see the breaths in her chest and her eyes were open, but it wasn't right.

"Go quickly, Kirara," Sango told her friend desperately. "Something is wrong."

Kirara sped up and soon Sango and Kagome were back at the camp fire.

"What's going on?" Inuyasha asked as Sango slid Kagome off Kirara.

"I'm not sure," Sango said, laying the girl flat.

"Her aura is strange," said Miroku, from where he had been sleeping.

"Shippo!" Inuyasha said, looking for the kit.

"Yes?" he asked from behind a tree where he was trying to stay out of the way.

"Take Kirara and go as fast as you can to fetch Kaede," Inuyasha said, knowing he would never be fast enough as a human and that Shippo would be the lightest for Kirara, making her journey quicker.

"Okay!"

"I will examine Lady Kagome," Miroku said. "If there is anything that can be done for her immediately, I will see to it."

"Alright, Monk," Sango said digging through Kagome's big yellow bag. "I can get us some water and herbs that might be useful. The demon slayers have a recipe for warriors that go into shock that might help."

Inuyasha stood and watched all of them. Without being part demon there wasn't much he could do.

"Kikyo," he said to himself. Sango heard him.

"If you think she can help Kagome," Sango said, picking up her weapon, "by all means, fetch her."

Inuyasha nodded and set off into the woods. She had been waiting for him anyway, he knew. He had been avoiding her, not just because of Kagome though. Also because he had bad news for her and he would rather be a coward then hurt someone he cared about.

Inuyasha set off by himself. He knew what he had to do.


"Where am I?" Kagome asked. It seemed like she was in a dark room with a floor and no walls or ceiling.

You are with me, said a voice that was cold and warm at the same time.

"Who are you?" she asked, frightened.

I am what is inside of you. I am the thing filling the hole in you where a part of your soul used to be.

"What do you mean, where a part of my soul used to be?" Kagome yelled. "What did you do with it?"

I did nothing, said the voice. You loaned it to the dead priestess out of love of Inuyasha and now it will kill you!

"I did no such thing!" she exclaimed, looking around her. The voice seemed to be everywhere and nowhere.

Yes, you did. Now I will take you over and have the rest of your soul, while your body becomes an empty vessel. I will enjoy having form again.

"Oh no, you won't," Kagome told it knowingly. "My soul is mine to do with what I want! Even if I wanted to give it to a dead girl, then that's my problem. It certainly doesn't give you the right to move on in and take over!"

Then push me out, if you're strong enough, said the voice tauntingly and high pitched, but you'll need your whole soul!

Kagome closed her eyes and started to glow a pink color.


"I see you've found me, Inuyasha."

There she was, standing in the clearing. Beautiful, as always.

"Yes," Inuyasha said, admiring the woman he still loved.

"It took you a great deal of time to seek me out," she said without emotion.

"I know," Inuyasha told her plainly. "I've been putting it off."

"Have you?" she asked, turning her back to him. "For what purpose, I wonder?"

Inuyasha looked at her hard. He knew, deep down that this was the right choice.

"To say good-bye to an old lover and hello to a new friend," he stated slowly so his meaning would not be missed. Kikyo did not respond. It was further proof that he was doing what he was meant to and not just following foolish desires.

"I see," Kikyo said, reaching out to one of her soul stealers. "There is no other purpose for your visit? It seems odd that now of all times you would gather the courage to face me without another motive."

Inuyasha looked hard at Kikyo. The woman he loved before would have helped him no matter what. He idly questioned to himself if she was still that woman in death.

"I come to you because Kagome is ill and I think you may be the only one who can help her," he said, hoping that the last part of Kikyo, the part he had once loved best, was still in there to help him. He knew it. He just had to coax her out for Kagome's sake.

Kikyo said nothing for a minute.

"I know what ails young Kagome," she said after a long time. "It is because of me that she suffers. I have known it would happen for a while now, I have been waiting for your choice, Inuyasha."

"My choice?" Inuyasha asked dumbly.

"Yes, and now that I have it, I have a present for your Kagome," Kikyo said, beckoning a soul stealer to her, the white ribbon snake floated around her once while Kikyo started to glow red and reached out her hand to the direction of the camp. The soul stealer followed her arm as it extended to her palm, where a soft pink orb lay glowing in her hand.

"Take the soul fragment to Kagome," Kikyo said, sending her stealer and the pink orb toward Inuyasha. "When you find her, there will be an arrow head in her mouth, remove it and the rest of her soul will reenter her and she will be whole again."

Inuyasha watched as Kagome's soul floated on forward without him.

"What about you?" he asked. "Don't you need that?"

Kikyo smiled.

"I can make do on the souls of others for a while yet," she told him more comforting than she had been in a very long time. "At least until Naraku is defeated…then I will leave this world, my purpose complete."

"Kikyo," Inuyasha said sadly.

"Go to her now," she said as she began to walk away. "Remember to remove the arrow."

Inuyasha watched her retreating back. As soon as Kikyo was out of site he turned and ran as fast as he could back toward the girl who had once freed him from a sacred tree.


"KAGOME!" cried a voice. It was Inuyasha. Kagome tried to open her eyes, but couldn't. She was someplace dark. She wanted free. For some reason, she felt victorious and tired…

"Kagome!" she heard a shout. Something pulled at her. Something that hadn't been felt for a long time. Something felt like it had been put back.

Her throat hurt.

Suddenly Kagome felt the urge to burp.

She was warm...and free.

She forced her eyes open.

"Inuyasha?" she rasped out. Her voice didn't sound like her own. It was harsh and dry, as if not used for a long time.

"Kagome!" his eyes widened and he threw his arms around her. "I can't believe it worked, I can't believe it worked, I can't believe it worked…" he kept repeating into her hair.

Suddenly the past month or so activities came rushing back to her.

But, now she felt good. What had happened? What changed?

Inuyasha was trembling, holding her. She hiccupped. She noticed she was back at the camping area with her companions.

She felt…odd. She remembered, but…

"Inuyasha?" she asked. "What's going on?"

He pulled away and looked at her like he never had before.

"You've been out of it a few days," he told her thickly. "For a while there it looked like you wouldn't be back at all."

"What happened?" Kagome asked, looking around. "Did something happen with my soul? I had the weirdest dream, there was this voice and it was all he would talk about..."

"It did have to do with your soul, Lady Kagome," Miroku told her, with an eyebrow raised. "It may not have been a dream you were having though-"

"It was Kikyo," Inuyasha said. "When the witch resurrected her she used a bit of your soul…after a while your body needed it back. A soul can only be incomplete for so long before there are dire consequences."

Kagome's eyes widened with understanding.

"That's why you were acting so odd," he said. "You couldn't help it, because you weren't you anymore."

She looked around and saw the faces of Sango Miroku and Inuyasha all looking back at her both relieved and tired.

"How did….how did you fix me?" she asked after a while.

There was a long pause. Then Sango answered.

"Kikyo gave you back your piece of the soul."

She looked to Inuyasha with a question in her eyes.

"How?" she asked.

"She chose your life over hers," he said softly. "For my sake…by my choice."

"Oh," she replied. That was it, wasn't it?

"The arrow," said Miroku, "it was what saved you. A part of you was still there Kagome, a part that still wanted to live. Since it had been in the sacred tree, it let you borrow some of its power, and sort of…sustained you. It was good you swallowed it. How did you know?"

"I didn't," Kagome responded. "I just sort of felt…compelled to do it."

Kagome smiled. She felt so loved and grateful, but there was one thing.

"How will we be able to defeat Naraku without Kikyo?" she asked. Didn't the dead priestess need her share to keep in this world?

Inuyasha smiled. "Oh, she's still around... She can keep on using the souls of others for as long as she needs to defeat Naraku."

Kagome felt relief and sadness. What a terrible choice for Inuyasha to make. She wished that life wasn't so hard for the half-demon she loved.

"Eh hem," said a voice from the corner. It was Kaede. "I want to apologize for not taking ye seriously when ye came to me."

"Kaede!" Kagome exclaimed. "How did you get here?"

"Kirara and I went and got her as fast as we could when we saw how sick you were," Shippo piped up from her side. "Inuyasha made us because he was in his human state, and we all know how weak and slow humans can be."

Inuyasha thumped him.

"I've just been helping," Kaede said, resting a hand on her forehead. "Ye friends would have been fine without me. Go to sleep now, child. Ye need the rest."

Kagome just gave them all a look that beamed happiness and love. Things were better.


A few days later things were almost back to normal.

"I guess I owe you an apology then," Inuyasha said later as Kagome took a little walk to the forest. The others were close behind, enjoying having their friend back.

"Inuyasha," she said full of emotion. "How many times do I have to tell you, I'm always going to stand by your side?"

For some reason thus made Shippo laugh and he darted foreword and joined in the embrace. Then Miroku and Sango joined in and soon even Kaede was laughing, though no one really knew why, except for the moment everything was fine and everyone was alive and that was something that everyone was happy for and seemed worth celebrating.

"Does this mean that you two are going to get together?" Shippo asked after a while. The group fell silent.

Then Inuyasha cracked him over the head for the second time that day. "Shut up."

But Kagome looked at him fondly and she knew that things were going to be okay. Now if she could only steal a kiss…


A/N The End.

I don't have much to say for myself, except it all gets better from here, lol. I did some experimentation with line breaks and horizontal rulers, so maybe that will help the format a little.

If you like my Inuyasha stuff, you may like my Hellsing stuff (if you know what that is). You can check it out at .net/u/934500/Sanis

Catch you guys next time; I've got a big beautiful project in the works. J Cheers, yo.

- Azulia

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