Congratulations you have purchased a DANTE unit . Remember we are not responsible for any damage caused by this Unit whether physical damage or mental in any way.
Your warranty expires as soon as the unit is out of the box. Please note that if we send you the wrong model on accident send it back and we'll give you the right one. Also this version is the younger cockier version from "Devil May Cry 3"
Thanks- Asile
Your DANTE unit comes with the following
-one(1) long red trench coat
-two (2) pairs of boots
-four (4) beige colored pants
- Shirt is optional does not come standard
You can order more from the Anime Unit Company on this number XXX-XXXX.
WAYS TO UNPACK
There are many ways to unpack your DANTE unit from the box. Here are some ways that may or may not kill you.
-Easiest way is to get a pizza with everything except anchovies and place the box somewhere get a fan and point in the direction of the box. Dante will rip the box open just to get to the Pizza TaDa!
-Another way is to yell "Oh my god there's a demon" at the top of your lung. Warning he may try to impale you with his sword or shoot you with ebony and/or ivory. So we recommend that as soon as Dante comes out of the box reprogram him.
- Get a TRISH unit and command her to zap the DANTE unit. She will willingly oblige. Warning he will be extra grumpy for a while so give him a pizza he'll cheer right up.
- Get a NERO unit and send him to attack the DANTE unit, he will also willingly kick your DANTE unit's ass. Warning if you ordered the special yaoi edition this may result in a lemon right in front of you. Make sure they clean up, unless you like that sort of thing… Ewwwwww! In any case if not then your DANTE unit may be seriously be injured. After he'll be grumpy so give him some Pizza!
As you will soon find out Pizza may solve most of your problems!
If you find any other ways then please feel free to suggest them!
These are the traits that can be good or … you should just be aware of.
-If he asks you to bend over to pick up something … just be … aware. Or ready, since Dante is a pervert. His personality is programmed to match the Dante from the Devil may cry series.
-Don't ask him to kill you, like I said we are not responsible for any damage caused to anything this includes you so no suing. Just saying.
-Oh you can have kids with this unit but they won't have super demonic powers. But they will have white hair and blue eyes so there you go. If you always wanted a family of your own, well there you go too. (The secret to how this happens is that we genetically alter the D.N.A. so that the hair and the-)
"What are you telling them!" My boss shouted at me.
"N-nothing!"
How to reprogram: As soon as the DANTE unit comes out with one of the ways to unpack him just say his cereal number then say which mode you want if this doesn't work then there is a panel on his back, take it off and there are different modes. Some modes are locked so… you have to unlock them yourself. Thank you
Okay on with the setting and different modes to this unit.
Body guard- get this guy some pizza and he'll do anything for you. Good against demons and people alike. Especially those pesky stalkers!
Demon hunter – since your DANTE unit comes with his sword and Ebony and Ivory he'll hunt down any demon that you want.
Yaoi mode – Do I uhh…really have to explain this …?
Slash- locked not saying figure out on your own actually easier than you think to unlock, just saying. If you don't know what a slash is then oh well…
Rest- Just let him sleep since demons come out at night mostly he'll sleep throughout the day unless you reprogram him otherwise. Oh don't wake him and he may sleep naked that's just how he is.
Cleaning- This unit is perfectly capable of cleaning himself, though you can do it too. He also may ask you to join him…you have…two options.
Food- just give him pizza but if you give just give him pizza all the time… he'll love you. But just in case throw in some strawberry sundaes and make some homemade pizza sometimes too. He'll eat pretty much anything if you make it…well as long as it's edible.
Any questions?
"Yeah my DANTE unit has a blue coat and keeps muttering about being better than Dante…?"
Oops we sent you a VERGIL unit please send him back before something bad happens.
"My DANTE unit won't stop dancing. He's doing the macarana!"
Don't worry just give him some pizza he'll eventually stop sooner or later.
"Hey is my DANTE unit supposed to be pole dancing…?"
…hmm…I think you unlocked the secret yaoi dancing mode just throw in a Sebastian unit from black butler aka Kuroshitsuji and you'll have yourself a strip club on it's way.
As you soon will learn your DANTE unit can be wonderful and fun so tell your friends and make sure they get a one too. Coming soon the VERGIL unit and the Vampire Knight series!
Reviews are greatly appreciated and welcome. Oh I'd like to thank the person who started the user guide series even though I have no idea who started them. Please feel free to critique my stories they are greatly appreciated also. But if it's too mean…I'll just delete the comment. Thanks-Asile or Neaveh.