Stumbling in the Dark

"Doctor Rush...how kind of you to stop by..."

"You knew it was me?"

"You smell funny. That's all I need to know."

Lisa Park had once heard that when one lost a sense (usually sight), the other four did their best to make up for it. It was a statement backed up by T.J. and right now, residing in Destiny's infirmary, her own experience. So that was why she could smell Doctor Nicholas Rush walking in after days of absence. That, and because most people on Destiny only had a single set of clothes and since science overcame hygiene in Rush's mind, he smelled funny enough even before she lost one of her senses.

Which made this even more bitter. Right now, as Rush drew closer, Lisa would have much rather had lost her sense of smell.

"I came to see how you were doing..." the brainiac murmured awkwardly, drawing a chair...or something that sounded like a chair over to the patient's bedside. "It's been hectic the last few days and-..."

Lisa rolled to the other side of the bed. She couldn't see Rush, but she had no desire to be looking in his direction at all. If by some chance her vision returned, even after days of stumbling in the dark, her 'superior's face was the last thing she wanted to see.

"I suppose it could only be temporary," Rush continued, his controlled voice demonstrating to Lisa that her hearing was still functioning as well. "I mean, flash blindness is well documented and-..."

"No-one ever documented looking into a blue star," Lisa murmured.

"True...true...but I mean, it could be worse. I mean...we might run into a purple star or something. I mean...we've already encountered a star system that shouldn't exist, so..."

Rush trailed off. Apparently he'd come to realize the same thing that Lisa had, that as brilliant as he was at astrophysics, he was no comedian. Apparently he also hadn't realized that even suggesting a purple star could exist was painful, as Lisa knew she'd never be able to see it.

"Well, I should be leaving," Rush said eventually, sliding the chair in some direction and getting to his feet. "I'll be leaving-..."

"Yeah, that's right," Lisa interrupted. "And don't come back."

It was strange, really. Up until now, her remaining four senses had made up for her lost fifth one. Yet now, as silence descended over the infirmary, it was like she'd developed a sixth sense to outright replace her sight. A sense that told her to shut the hell up and listen to what Rush had to say.

"What do you want from me?" the man growled. "I stayed behind on Destiny to get us through the star with Eli. I helped pilot the ship through thirty-three thousand kelvins worth of plasma. I helped save the ship, its crew and the mission. What I didn't do, Miss Park, was hang around with plants and decide to stargaze after the dome burst. So I'm sorry, Doctor Park. I'm sorry that you can't see. I'm sorry that you're now useless to us. But I will not apologize for putting the needs of the many over the needs of the few."

Useless...that was how he'd described her a year ago. Back when Rush was the only one who knew how to do a damn thing on the ship and everyone else seemed like dead weight to him. And now, after all this time...she was back to being just that. Useless.

Somehow that stung the most.

"Thanks for laying out the bare truth doc," Lisa murmured, still lying down in the opposite direction. It's good to be able to see the facts once in awhile...keeps me from stumbling in the dark."

"We're all stumbling in the dark, Park. We've been stumbling around since we first came here. It's just something we have to live with...as best as we can."

And then Rush left. Or someone else did. But even without sight, even in the darkness inflicted on her, Lisa knew she was alone now. Stuck with a bound mind and without the means to liberate it via sight.

In that regard, her eyes were indeed useless.

Still, as the silent tears began to flow down her face, it was clear that her eyes hadn't lost all of their functions.

A/N

This was written before Gauntlet and admittedly doesn't fully mesh with what we see in regards to Park's blindness being treated. But hey, with the series being over, we're all free to go down the path of 'what if?'

...yeah, I'm going to get back to ranting at Syfy now. :(