Okay, so this is just a little something I was thinking of and it sort of just, well, flew out of me. I typed it pretty quick and didn't really edit it, so hopefully there aren't too many typos.
Anyways, this is pretty much me wondering what might have happened had Anakin and Obi-wan actually taken the time to talk to each other about certain things. It never seemed like they had done that in the movies, and that sort of sticks out to me for some reason. So, here's my take on that. I don't know if this would have changed Anakin's future at all, but one can always hope...
Enjoy! :)
Anakin stared long and hard into the distance, trying to see anything at all. He was out of luck. Only an endless sea of grass, stretching to the horizon. He shrugged, acknowledging the fact that there were at least some hills. If he were honest, he would voice his disappointment in the scenery. There were no towering mountains like the ones Naboo had, no rushing rivers running through a lush field, no splotches of flowers here and there.
It was just grass. Waving gently in the breeze.
His master had told him that Stewjon was as beautiful a place as any, but he had reason to doubt him now. What was so beautiful about an endless ocean of green?
"Well? What do you think?"
Anakin turned to stare at the older Jedi walking towards him. It had only been a year since his knighting, and Anakin still had yet to think of Obi-wan as anything but his master. Deep down, he knew that he would never be able to call the man by his actual name without feeling uncomfortable.
He shrugged again, hoping he didn't look too disappointed. Then he realized it didn't really matter. Obi-wan knew him too well for it to make a difference. "It's… well, it's… um…" he trailed off, wincing at his stuttering mess.
Obi-wan smiled slightly. "Green?" he offered.
Anakin frowned, turning to glare at his former master. Then he recognized the amused glint in Obi-wan's eyes and dismissed the small spark of anger. If there was one thing he had learned from this man, it was that there were varying degrees of sarcasm. There were those used as a last resort in precarious situations, there were those issued as a rebuke, and there were those used in a teasing, joking manner.
More often than not, it was typically the last of the three with Obi-wan, though Force knew his master excelled in using all of them.
Anakin returned the smile. "Not the word I was searching for, but yes, it is very green. Why did you bring me here exactly?"
Obi-wan shrugged. "You've seen a lot of the galaxy due to the war. I thought maybe you would enjoy seeing one of the more peaceful planets."
Well, he had to give him that. There certainly wasn't much of anything going on on Stewjon. Certainly no battle droids or ion cannons coming at them. No fighters in the sky either. Just wispy clouds that looked like strands of cotton. "Peaceful," he echoed. Then he scratched the back of his neck. "It feels sort of weird, actually."
He didn't have to look to know that one of Obi-wan's eyebrows had just shot up. "Weird? Do you mind if I ask why?"
Of course he minded. They hadn't had a personal conversation since he had been twelve, maybe thirteen. Having a conversation like that, with this man, Obi-wan, was just bizarre on so many levels. Though he considered his former master to be something of a father figure in his life, his formal personality and lack of emotions had always made it seem like there was a canyon between them, a line that just couldn't be crossed.
Despite the seemingly insignificant question, Anakin knew that he couldn't just answer with a simple lie. There was so much more on his mind than that. Instead, he shuffled around uncomfortably for a few minutes. He even walked a little ways away, knowing Obi-wan wouldn't follow. That's just how the guy was. Patient and respectful to a fault.
And yes, it was a fault. Everyone else saw it as one of Obi-wan's most admirable traits, but they hadn't shared an apartment with the man for over a decade. They didn't know what so much patience would do to a padawan who didn't respond well to the silent treatment. Somehow, Anakin had always known that Obi-wan just wouldn't figure that one out.
For all of his wisdom, his master just hadn't known when to talk and when to leave him alone. He had always just let him be, thinking that he would come and talk when he was ready.
The thing was, Anakin silently reflected, he had always been ready. He had just needed Obi-wan to let him know that he would be there to listen to him. Not just sit on the sofa, reading a datapad or working on a mission report, seemingly without a care in the world.
And now that Obi-wan had finally come forward and asked, apparently willing to listen now, he felt an overwhelming urge to glare at him and tell him it was too late. You waited twelve years to come ask me 'Why?'!
That was the reply that was on the tip of his tongue. Those were the words he had been dying to scream for the last who knows how many years. That was how long he had been waiting for his father to show up. Not just his master. His father.
Blast it… he couldn't hold them in any longer. Just as he was about to turn and give his former the justified berating he deserved, he felt a slight whisper in the Force that told him that Obi-wan had followed him over.
Had followed him over…
The words stopped, barely kept in through sheer will. Though he knew his eyes were flashing and he could feel his heart rate speeding up, Anakin felt like he should wait a few seconds and see what happened.
The seconds ticked by, accompanied only by silence. He knew Obi-wan was standing behind him, standing in his shadow, shielded from the sun. Anakin almost smiled at the irony in that fact alone. Obi-wan had always been one of the lightest Jedi in the Order. It was strange to think of him standing in a shadow. The only shadow in a wide expanse of green.
Okay. Five minutes had to be long enough. If the man was going to say anything, he should have said it by now. Anakin started to turn, pivoting smoothly on one foot. Right as he completed the turn, right as he got his shoulders squared and his feet planted, Obi-wan decided to speak.
"It's not peaceful, is it."
A statement, not a question. Anakin blinked, somewhat confused for a second. Why wasn't it peaceful? There was nothing around to disturb the simple landscape. Only a breeze, and the two of them…
"It's as close to peaceful as we're gonna get." Anakin hadn't meant to sound so blunt, but he wasn't able to keep the edge out of his voice.
Silvery-blue eyes fell on him and for the first time in a while, he held the gaze, glaring with the swirling, stormy blue of his own two eyes.
Obi-wan looked away first.
"Why did it take you so long?" Anakin asked quietly. "Why, for Force's sake, did you have to wait for a kriffin' war to start, for us to go through so much, for us to escape death more times than I can remember? Why. That's it. One word. But all you ever did was sit on that blasted sofa and read those stupid datapads while I sat in my room and held in the tears with my pillow to my face."
He watched Obi-wan closely, saw him swallow, saw his jaw clench. He watched a strong, calloused hand reach up and run itself through tawny, ginger hair. He could have predicted this reaction before it even happened. That's how well he knew this man.
But he didn't know him, really. Hardly at all. And Obi-wan didn't know him. Neither of them had been willing to jump over the canyon.
Until now. Anakin had jumped first. And now that he was over it, he could see that Obi-wan hadn't brought him here to simply sight see on a peaceful planet. No, this was something more. Obi-wan was finally ready to talk. In a way, Anakin supposed, the guy had tried to cross the canyon before he had.
Only he had decided to build a stupid little bridge, rather than jump over it.
Anakin wondered what might have happened had he not just blurted out what he was truly feeling. Would Obi-wan have just let it go? Probably.
Let it go and walk away, letting his fragile bridge crumble and break.
He took a step towards his former master, raising an accusing finger. "You know, you never were very good at talking, were you? Did you ever stop to consider what I went through when Qui-gon died? And when my mother died, I couldn't possibly have felt the least bit broken inside. No, not at all. But you just had to stand back and let me –"
"Anakin."
It was soft spoken, but it stopped Anakin completely. For some reason, Obi-wan had always been able to do that. No one else had ever been able to shut him up with a simple utterance of his name, but Obi-wan had always made it seem so easy.
A sigh escaped the older Jedi. It wasn't one of those sighs Anakin saw all the time, like when it was raining and they were stuck in a cold, damp shelter for a few days, or when they crested a ridge only to come face to face with full battalions of battle droids. No, not one of those. Not even close.
It was as if a heavy burden of some sort had just been dropped from Obi-wan's shoulders. That kind of sigh.
"Anakin, I was never ready to be your master."
Anakin was stunned. "What… ?"
Obi-wan glanced at him, but couldn't seem to find the strength to face him directly. Instead, he lowered himself to the soft grass beneath them and leaned back on his elbows. It was a position that didn't fit him at all, Anakin decided. The posture was just all wrong, and he looked so… defeated.
"When Qui-gon died, I was just so lost… I didn't know how to handle it – you, I mean. It was all I could do to get through each day… each hour, really…" He paused for a moment. "I still miss him."
Anakin didn't know how to respond to this. This human side of Obi-wan. He had never seen it before, and he had to wonder if Obi-wan had picked such a secluded spot because he didn't want anyone else to see him like this. Yes, that was it. Anakin should have known.
He suddenly didn't feel so angry anymore.
He sat down next to Obi-wan and followed the man's gaze. Still nothing but green. "I miss him too."
He felt, rather than saw, Obi-wan smile. Every time his former master smiled, Anakin always felt warmer inside. Was it possible to have a connection that deep?
With a master, no.
What about a father? A thought wiggled its way into his mind then. A thought of what things might have been like if he had never become a Jedi, if he had actually had a father.
He smiled at the thought until he glanced at the man seated next to him, who had just admitted something very personal to him.
This man was his father in every sense of the word. A teacher, a role model, a friend, a brother. Yes, he was all of those as well. Would anyone else have been willing to fill that position in his life?
As he stared at Obi-wan, the only answer he could think of was 'no'.
"Will you forgive me for not doing this earlier?" Obi-wan's voice, soft and cultured, broke through the silence like a vibroblade cutting through plastic.
And really, that's what all of this had been getting to. The trip here, the blank landscape surrounding them, the question… Was he ready to forgive?
All of those years still weighed on him. All of that time feeling as though he didn't matter to this man, that the guy had never really wanted him after all. It was almost too much to forgive.
But if he didn't forgive him, then none of it mattered anyway. He would still feel the same way, even though Obi-wan had just shown him that he did care and he was sorry.
Even if they had only spoken a few sentences to each other.
It was a start, anyway.
"Of course," he said, grinning at the obvious relief that was all over Obi-wan's face. Then he turned serious again and looked away. "Can we talk more later? I have something I need to tell you…" He didn't know if he was ready to talk about his wife yet, but he knew that he never would unless he gave himself an opportunity to do so.
Obi-wan gave him a knowing look, one that made him wonder for a second if his former master already knew about Padme, and then nodded. "Certainly. I wanted to show you something anyway."
Anakin watched, suddenly curious, as Obi-wan stood up and pulled something out of a pouch hanging on his belt. He wrinkled his brow. "You brought a bunch of stones with you?"
"Well you're not gonna find any around here, are you?"
Anakin was at a loss for words for a moment, not used to Obi-wan speaking without his usual enunciation on every syllable. But then he smiled. It was a nice change to see Obi-wan so comfortable, no matter if the place was as drab as this one. "True," he granted as he stood up. "What are you going to do with it anyway?"
"Skip it," Obi-wan said. He drew back his arm and whipped it forward sideways, releasing the rock at just the right moment. The smooth stone sailed a good distance before falling at a shallow angle towards the grass below, still traveling at a good speed.
"Master, it's just going to fall into the dirt," Anakin said, feeling he should point out the obvious. Though the grass really did look like real water if a person looked close enough, it was not the real thing. A stone wouldn't skip over it.
Obi-wan only smiled in answer. Before the stone touched the first blades of grass, they bent together, each blade neatly lined up against the other, forming a smooth surface for the stone to skip off of. And skip it did. Anakin watched in stunned amazement. The stone continued to skip in a straight line across the grass, looking just like a stone skipping over water. Only this one skipped at least a dozen times before falling to the ground.
Obi-wan did it again with a second stone and this one went even longer. This time, though, Anakin's eyes were drawn towards the man beside him. With each bend in the grass, his master would gesture with a few fingers, manipulating the Force to allow the smooth surface to form.
His former master was using the Force… for fun. Anakin couldn't pass this up.
He snatched the pouch from Obi-wan's belt and drew out a stone, smooth, gray, and cold. "I'll beat you," he challenged, drawing back his arm.
Rather than offer a witty remark, Obi-wan only smirked and crossed his arms.
The stone didn't even skip once. It landed with a dull thud a little ways in front of the surface of grass that Anakin had formed. He frowned.
"Hmmm, it appears that you missed."
Anakin's arm shot out, an automatic reaction brought on from years of similar remarks. Obi-wan stumbled sideways as the small wave hit him, chuckling the entire time. Anakin was still frowning. "How can you make it look so easy?"
Obi-wan regained his balance and held out a hand. Anakin handed him a stone and watched as he threw it, and he continued to watch as it skipped well into the distance, disappearing from view. "Show off," he muttered.
Obi-wan chuckled again and raised a brow. "Would you like me to teach you?"
"Who taught you?" Anakin countered.
His former master smiled a little and got a far off look in his eyes. "I've visited this planet more than once. My brother came up with the idea."
"Your… brother?" That was something he hadn't known.
"I was born here, Anakin."
Ah. Anakin left it at that. He held out another rock. "Okay, teach me how it works…"
He was a quick learner and was soon matching Obi-wan skip for skip. Their laughter echoed across the grassy fields and Anakin felt a peace that he hadn't felt for quite some time.
That he actually hadn't ever felt.
How was it that a slave from Tatooine, an ugly, dirty dustball of a planet, had come to be paired up with a man raised as a Jedi, from a planet as beautiful as this?
The question crossed his mind multiple times in the following days. Eventually, he decided that he simply didn't care.
He had a father, and that's all that mattered.
I know it's short and probably sounds somewhat rushed in parts, but I HAD to get it out of my head, so there you have it. Hopefully you enjoyed it!
Please leave a few thoughts; that would be great! :)