A/N : This story is my first Dragon Age fanfiction. I just finished DA2 and was absolutely in love with M!Hawke/Fenris! So much squee~

This was written as an answer to a meme in a DA2 livejournal community:

Hawke and Fenris have a deeply antagonistic relationship (rivalmance to the max, anons!) mainly over Hawke being a mage and supporting (naturally) other mages. Fenris cares about him, but constantly goads and insults him and Hawke answers right back.

One day the Templars capture them both and knowing that Fenris is Hawke's lover they make him watch as they hurt Hawke - torture him, gangrape him, humiliate him in every possible way. Fenris is completely helpless to put a stop to it and it breaks, because despite their antagonism, he deeply cares about Hawke. Bonus points for the aftermath where Fenris deeply regrets each hurtful, mean, anti-mage thing he said to Hawke, especially if the Templars used exactly the same words as they hurt his lover.

I thought I would share it here as well. You'll have to forgive my grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language and I don't have any beta (by the way, if someone would like to become my beta, I wouldn't say no, lol).

Obviously, this contains maleXmale relationship. so if you are uncomfortable with it, do click on the button on your upper left. That way everyone will be happy.

Disclaimer : Every characters belongs to BioWare.

Enjoy!

It was already nightfall in Kirkwall. The usually bustling and busy city was now as calm as it could get. There were no passersby, the merchants had gone home for the day, and most of the guardsmen had retired as well. Silence had now overthrown the usual sounds of cheerfulness, business, arguments, and many others that could usually be heard during the day. However, that silence hadn't yet gotten to a particular mansion that had looked abandoned for years now. Inside, strong voices could be heard, even shouts of anger and outrage.

"Please, Fenris, just... let me heal you." One of the voices, calmer, told in tiredness. It sounded completely drained of energy, and so was the voice's owner. The one named Fenris, who was pacing back and forth in the room they were both standing, stopped abruptly and snarled dangerously. "I don't want you to heal me with your filthy magic!" He growled, glaring murderously at the other man. A flicker of annoyance appeared in the latter's eyes, but he quickly closed them to keep his composure, breathing in discreetly. "Fenris, be reasonable." He advised almost too gently for his taste. He was getting tired of all this, but he had to keep it cool.

Fenris covered the distance between the other man and him in long, heavy strides, stopping merely inches away. "Reasonable? Ha! Are you trying to make me laugh, Hawke?" He nearly shouted, fists clenched tightly. "How can I be reasonable when magic was the thing that hurt me? How can I be reasonable when it's your fault?" The elf wanted to reach for Hawke and shake him violently by the shoulders in order to try and put some sense into the damn mage. Said mage clenched his fists, slowly, discreetly. He couldn't lose it now.

"As I said earlier, I am sorry. I explained to you that I wanted to avoid mindless slaughter. Can you not understand that?" He tried, his voice as soft as could be. However, how could he even believe that it would help in calming Fenris' anger? It would only serve in fuelling it even more. The elf's eyes widened in absolute fury at the mage's words. "No, no I cannot! Not when it got me hurt because of it! Your stupid love over mages– " He spat the word rather violently. "...have almost gotten us killed when we got our backs turned. If you had killed them all, just as I had advised, we wouldn't have been in this mess!" The more this argument went, the less Hawke was able to keep his composure. He was getting too tired of this. "Magic spoils everything! Every mage is an abomination to be!" Fenris kept on, ignoring the signs of his companion's growing anger. "You're all going to use blood magic at some point; you're all going to become demons' playthings because you're too prone to temptation. You're all weak and non-trustable!" That was enough. Hawke cracked.

"We mages? WE?" He yelled, not able to contain his own frustration anymore. He'd had it with this elf's tantrums. He'd had it with this no recognition! "I have done nothing but try to help you! I have done nothing but try to be good to you! I have done nothing but show you that I wanted to be someone there for you. I have done nothing but be reliable! I have done nothing but put my trust in you! And you put me in the same lot as these other mages?" His breathing was heavy, his eyes flashing in scandalization. His infuriation, however, did not help Fenris calm. Instead, he felt piqued, which made him want to insult the mage more. "The only thing you're showing me is that you trust your kind too much and that you can become as dangerous as them! What proof do you have that you will not turn like them one day and betray me?" No. No, Fenris didn't mean that. He couldn't believe he was saying all of this. But he couldn't stop himself. He was mad because Hawke had been careless. And this anger was making him say things the wrong way.

The mage was ready; he had his comeback. He wanted to rub in the elf's face that he had been the one to succumb to the demon in the fade, that he had been the one to betray Hawke, not the other way around. However, never did Fenris give him time to retort. "You're a monster!" The elf finally yelled. Silence came down right after this, and, as Hawke said nothing, Fenris slowly realised what he had just done. His eyes widened a bit and he looked up, only to be met with a gaze full of hurt. Hawke pursed his lips and closed his eyelids, before turning his head. He was hiding all the pain that this single word had been enough to stir inside of him. "Very well then." He hissed in a very soft voice. Fenris couldn't help the shiver of fear that ran down his spine at his tone. Even though the mage wasn't yelling anymore, he could feel the other's wrath so much more clearly. Hawke turned around, his back now facing Fenris, and he marched forward to the exit. "If this is what you want, so be it. I won't heal you." His voice was calm, venomous. "That must mean your injury isn't too serious. I trust you'll be ready tomorrow morning when we have to leave. Good night Fenris." And without a single other word, the mage left the mansion, refusing to listen to anything else the elf could say.

Fenris watched with silent horror as the man he loved left. What had he done? What had he said? But... it was Hawke's fault. He had been the one to make him so angry. Surely he was right in what he had said? The elf cried out in frustration and punched a chair near. This mere action made him hiss in pain and his left hand flew to his right shoulder. He hoped it would get better during the night. He didn't need this damn magic! He had been right about everything! He had to be!

Maker, what had he done...?

The next morning was unbearably silent. Hawke had still brought Fenris along with Varric, Isabela and him. This obviously meant that he hadn't spoken about the argument they'd been having the previous night. However, the two rogues weren't stupid: they could tell something had happened, considering Hawke was giving Fenris the cold shoulder and was refusing to look and speak to him. Not that the elf minded. He wasn't in the mood for it either. He was just glad that the mage had not decided to bring Anders along. He wouldn't have been able to hear the end of it, and that too, he wasn't in the mood for.

They were presently walking on the shores of the Wounded Coast, on their way to retrieve something for a merchant back in Kirkwall. Varric and Isabela had been kind enough not to bring up the animosity that was in the air, trying their best to lighten the mood instead, cracking jokes here and there; of course, without getting any result from the other two. At the very least, it was a nice try, and even if Hawke did not show it, he was thankful to the rogues. It made him think of something else than that eventful evening he'd had.

They walked until they reached the upper parts of the place, arriving in a deserted camp where supposedly, they would find the needed item. However, once they set foot in the camp, other presences made themselves known. "Well, well, if it isn't the Champion." Hawke turned around to face the newcomers, his face neutral, eyes scanning. Before him stood a group of templars in quite a number. The one that had spoken was standing in front of them all, his arms crossed, cockiness worn on his face. As he analysed the situation, Hawke concluded that they could easily fight their way out of this. Still, he was cursing himself inwardly. This was yet another trap to add to the long list of people trying to get rid of him. Great. His week was just being so great.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" The mage asked, taking a step forward, his lips curled in half a smile. "I get that the item we came to get does not, in fact, exist?" He continued, sighing very softly. The templar laughed loudly. "No, indeed not. Who would have thought that you would be so trusty of others? It made this trap so much easier!" He exclaimed, smirking while unsheathing his sword. Hawke prepared himself to get his own staff. "And might I know what I have done to deserve this?" He demanded, his own half-smile not faltering. However, the templar's one disappeared for disgust. "You're an apostate on the loose. A lot of people fear that you will end up being a monster. For the good of the citizens, we will get rid of you." Upon hearing this, the mage fidgeted. For a brief moment, he seemed at a loss, unable to say anything. However, soon enough, it was replaced by anger and he took his staff. "I will certainly not let myself be killed now!" He roared, engaging the battle.

Fenris reached for his own sword, but hissed in the process. His shoulder hurt even more than the previous day and it was reminding him now painfully that what he had done the previous night might have been a mistake. Still, he unsheathed his sword as if nothing was wrong and swung it around to cut any templars going at him. He would certainly not become a burden now! And yet, the more he fought, twirled, cut, kicked and swirled, the more he felt weak. He could sense his legs trembling from the sheer weight of his sword. He could feel the pain in his shoulder growing more and more as he swung his weapon. And to make matters worse, the templars seemed to notice such flaws and came to him in greater number in order to bring him down first. Fenris couldn't even see the end of it. And suddenly...

"Watch out!" The elf turned around just in time for him to see Hawke being stabbed in the abdomen by the very same templar who'd spoken earlier. Fenris' eyes widened in horror. If Hawke hadn't thrown himself between the templar and him, he would have been the one to receive that sword. Hawke had protected him. "Hawke!" He cried out in pure fright, at the very same time Isabela and Varric called the mage's name. As he saw his protector collapse, as he saw blood pool on the white sand, the elf's tattoos started to glow furiously and his eyes narrowed dangerously. He screamed in rage and threw himself at the mage's attacker, wanting to make him pay badly. But there were too much templars, and his arm was throbbing in so much pain!

He barely saw enemies stabbing Isabela in the back and others throwing Varric on a rock not too far, knocking him unconscious, before Fenris felt excruciating pain in his neck. His vision was clouded in darkness and the last thing he noticed was the templars' leader smirking at him while watching him collapse on the ground as well.

When he woke up, Fenris groaned as he felt as though his head was about to split in two. He tried to move his hand to cover his forehead and maybe ease that pain a bit, but he soon found that he was unable to. Panic seized his heart and his eyes snapped open as he tried to understand why he was immobilized. He soon realized that he was in foreign territory, that he didn't know where exactly he stood. However, he did recognize all the templars that had been at the Wounded Coast, the ones that had attacked them. His mind suddenly recollected everything that had happened and he struggled to get free of the chains restraining him on the wall behind him. "Hawke!" He called out, searching frantically around for the man he loved so much. If he was alive, surely they had let the Champion live as well?

The templar who'd almost stabbed him previously turned his head towards the elf and grinned wickedly at him, bursting out in laughter. "The knife ears is finally awake! Men, the real fun can finally start!" He called out and the other templars around started laughing mockingly as well. Narrowing his eyes, Fenris could feel his patience growing thin. No, scratch that, he hadn't had any from the start. "Where. Is. Hawke? What have you done with him?" The lyrium on his skin was glowing dimly, sign that he could go berserk any time soon. Still, it did not seem enough to frighten the templars who were now laughing even more. "He's right here." Their leader – Fenris had assumed so – pointed out, gesturing for some of his men to move aside. The elf was finally able to see his companion, however not in a state he had imagined.

Hawke was lying on a wood table, chained to it just like Fenris was chained to the wall. The templars had stripped him of his clothes and his face was contortioned in absolute agony, eyes closed, breathing laboured. The once slave grew furious once more and struggled on the chains restraining him, trying to break them so that he could go to his companion's rescue. "Hawke! What have you done to him? Release him now!" He threatened, but it was only received with more laughter. He was powerless; of course no one would take him seriously. "For now, we've merely burned the wound that was inflicted on him." The group's leader told to Fenris with his wicked smile. "We couldn't have him die so easily, not when we didn't have our fun with him. But don't worry, we decided to wait for you to see everything before we played with him. Now that you're awake, the real fun will start." Fenris struggled, howled, pulled, shook, but there was nothing budging or breaking. He was chained, he couldn't do anything.

The leader made a gesture with his head to one of his men. The latter punched Hawke uncharacteristically in the stomach, making him scream in pain as his eyes snapped open. He would have doubled over, but he couldn't move. His breathing became harder, sweat breaking on every pore of his skin. The templar leader snickered and, in a quick movement, unbuckled his belt. "I'm going to be the first to enjoy him. I'll make sure to fuck him so hard, he'll see stars." He purred disgustingly. He climbed on the table, staring maliciously into Hawke's stoic eyes – well, as stoic as could be. However, before he started anything, he looked back at where the elf was standing. "And you, you'd better watch all of this carefully. If not, we'll kill him on the spot." He threatened and turned back to his toy.

His hands caressed the mage's skin in false gentleness, enjoying the look of defiance he was receiving. "I'll enjoy breaking you to the last of your pieces before I kill you." He whispered sensually, his eyes bearing a look of poisonous sweetness. "Is it frustrating, not to be able to use your filthy magic?" Fenris started at such words. Hadn't... hadn't he told just that the previous night?

"I don't want you to heal me with your filthy magic!"

A knot formed itself in the pit of his stomach and his heart beat faster. This wasn't true. This couldn't be true!

The mage had not yet answered and had no intention of doing so. It irritated the templar above him and he took a knife that wasn't too far, stabbing the palm of Hawke's right hand. "You are very impolite. Shall I teach you that you need to answer when someone asks you a question?" The templar whispered as he watched his prey biting his lower lip to stop itself from screaming in pain. Hawke breathed harder, but even so, he merely looked back with defiance once more, once the pain was a bit more bearable. The templar's annoyance only grew. "You want to give me the silent treatment? Fine then! I'll make sure to make you scream from the top of your lungs!" And without further ado, he positioned his already erected member in the mage's entrance, shoving himself in, making Hawke swallow him without any preparations beforehand. Just as promised, a scream tore the silence of the room as Fenris watched the man he cared for the most writhe in agony at being taken forcefully. "No..." He whispered, voice shaking. This couldn't be happening!

"How does it feel, you little slut?" The templar enquired with mockery as he groaned in pure pleasure, disgustingly so. "Do you like it?" He asked as he grabbed Hawke's member already half erected as well in unwanted desire. "You mages are so prompt to temptation and desire. No wonder your body reacts so well!" Hawke looked away from the templar, but also turned his head to the opposite side Fenris was standing. He was too ashamed to face the elf. Said elf was feeling dreadful. He was hearing his own words in that damn templar. He was hearing himself say all those abject things to Hawke. It was as if he was the one torturing the man he loved right there. Worst of all was that he couldn't look away: he was watched by the other templars and a single movement from them would mean Hawke's death. Fenris wanted to throw up. Badly.

The leader reclaimed the knife he'd stuck into the mage's hand and played with it a little, pressing it against his prey's cheek, pressing it a bit too tight so that it drew a bit of blood. "Aren't you going to use blood magic? To call a demon?" He jeered, chuckling darkly. He lowered his head so that his lips would be mere inches away from Hawke's ear. "You mages all do that. You're just abominations that wait to be out!" Without any warnings, the templar shoved himself deeper – enough to hurt the mage – and at the same time, violently bit his neck. Hawke bucked his hips and screamed – a scream filled with both pleasure and pain. A scream that disgusted him, made him want to kill himself on the spot. A scream that enraged Fenris, but also sickened him. Why was he so powerless?

Making back-and-forth movements, rash ones, the templar grinned savagely above his prey, both his hands now on the mage's hips, bruising them because of his sheer force. Hawke was trying his best not to scream in both pain and desire. "You don't seem to be a virgin there." The templar pointed out, tilting his head. "Are you really that much of a little slut?" He asked, before his wicked grin widened in absolute wickedness. "... Or are you a monster?" Hawke's breathing hitched and Fenris' eyes glowered dangerously. He, once again, struggled against what was restraining him. "Shut up! Don't call him that! Release him, you bastard!" He cried out, madly furious, his lyrium now glowing dangerously.

"Be. Quiet!"

Fenris' outrage calmed immediately, only to be replaced by cold fear. His eyes widened in horror and hurt as he realised that it hadn't been any of the templars who'd ordered him to silence.

It had been Hawke.

The man still refused to look at him, but Fenris knew very well what kind of expression the mage withholded. One of hate. One that clearly told him he had no right to stand up to those fiends. "Hawke..." Fenris whimpered, but it was covered by the leader of the group's laughter. "What, lover's quarrel? I did notice the flinch you had when I first called you a monster back at the Wounded Coast. Don't tell me that your lover called you that?" He asked and, even though he received no answer, he chuckled. "Oh, you poor thing!" He cooed, slamming inside the mage once more, making the latter cum in no glory whatsoever. The templar watched Hawke fall limply back on the table as he removed himself from the man before he buckled his pants. He turned to his men and sneered. "You can have a go at him."

"No!" Fenris yelled, but no one listened to him. He watched in horror as the templars took his lover, some three at a time. They tortured him, molested him, violated him, made him scream again and again in pain and unwanted pleasure. But what hurt the most were the words. The words that they sometimes whispered, sometimes shouted. Venomous and spiteful words, insults, anything to weaken his mental state. But Hawke would be able to get passed it. He was strong, wasn't it? Fenris didn't have to worry, right?

No, no, that wasn't true. Hawke was strong indeed, but Fenris had tested that strength, too much for the mage's own well being. He'd tested it so much that he had been the one to weaken his companion. And now, they were crushing him like a mere insect. Fenris could feel tears well up in the corner of his eyes. What had he done? It was his fault, it was his entire fault!

When everything seemed hopeless for the elf, when he was sure that Hawke would be destroyed completely, he heard footsteps running, coming in their direction. He turned his head to his right and, just in time, he saw their companions entering the room with cries of fight. A spell was the first thing that hit the templars that were on top of Hawke before Aveline roared as she came running, clashing the ones that were still too near of the mage. Fenris saw that everyone had come: Merill was casting spells all around, Sebastian was shooting arrows in a corner alongside with Varric – whom had been, thankfully, healed –, Isabela was making a dance of death alongside Aveline and Anders had rushed to Hawke's side in order to free and heal him. Some relief surged Fenris at this; at least, Hawke wouldn't die and he would be protected from now on. However, guilt was still gnawing the elf's insides. Everything was his fault. Everything.

He watched as Ander freed Hawke and worked his magic on his friend's body, ignoring the fact that he was completely naked. However, every time the healer touched the other, the latter flinched away, almost afraid of the contact. He would then try to joke over it when Anders would worry, but he couldn't fool his friend, obviously, and he would give up rather quickly, muting himself.

While he watched Hawke's behaviour, the guilt only growing inside him, Fenris didn't notice Isabela coming to his side in order to free him. When he was finally able to move his arms, he saw that the woman was standing beside him, arms crossed, stern look on her face. He knew exactly what she was thinking; the same thing he was thinking. It was his fault. Closing his eyes for a brief moment, he decided to ignore her for the time being and approached Hawke whom had just finished putting on his tunic and pants that had been lying not too far, leaving his armour on the ground for now. "Hawke, I..." The words blocked in his throat as he saw the rejection in the mage's eyes. The latter took some steps backward to put more distance between the two. "Don't. Just... don't." He whispered in a strained voice before he turned around and left the place without a word. He clearly fled; not only from the dead templars and this horrible place, but also from his friends. He needed some time alone, even if he had to return home unprotected.

"Leaving him alone is not good." Varric stated. "Rivaini, can you follow him? But keep your distance. He doesn't want to see us." He advised and Isabela nodded, leaving as well to make sure Hawke would reach his destination safely.

"And Blondie, I suggest healing Broody's shoulder, before he brings us anymore trouble." The dwarf kept on, pointing at Fenris. Said elf hadn't even noticed the exchange. He was merely staring at the exit in shock and hurt. Hawke had never downright rejected him. He laughed bitterly. Had he truly thought that Hawke would forgive him after what he had done? Could he be any stupider?

Suddenly, he felt a burning sensation on his cheek and he turned shocked eyes to an infuriated Anders. The man had just... slapped him? "You fucking damn elf!" Anders yelled, his fists clenched, ready to punch if it also necessary. "This is all your fault, do you realise that? Because of you, because of your carelessness, Hawke had to protect you and he was captured because of that! He was raped because of you!" The healer's eyes were almost glowing, sign that he was slowly losing it to Justice. Aveline had to put a hand on the mage's shoulder in order to keep him sane, at the very least. "Why was it so hard to be healed by magic? Why was it so hard to let Hawke help you?" Anders demanded. Fenris merely closed his eyes and fell silent, listening absent-mindedly to the mage's rent. He deserved all of this. He deserved to be shouted at, to be hated by his comrades.

To be hated by Hawke.

Once the shouts dimmed down and his shoulder was healed, Fenris approached the armour and sword Hawke had left behind, slowly gathering them in his arms. "What are you planning to do?" Contrary to his belief, it was not Anders who'd approached him and asked the question. It was Aveline. "I doubt he'll want to see you." Despite all the elf had done, she didn't seem as angry as he thought. It was as though she was saying 'He won't want to see you because you saw everything, which is even more humiliating.' Oh, right, they couldn't know all the things he had told the mage the previous night. "Please." Fenris whispered without turning around to face her, continuing to collect the armour. "I just need to do this. I'll leave him alone after that." He pleaded, holding the pieces of metal tighter against him, trying to push back the tears that threatened to well up in the corner of his eyes.

"What? You're not really going to let him do that, Aveline?" Anders demanded, outraged. The captain sighed heavily, ignoring the healer and nodded, before she remembered Fenris could not see her. "Very well, then." Was all that she said before she turned around, motioning to the others to follow her out, Anders complying while muttering insults at the elf.

Fenris waited until they were all gone before he left as well. However, he did not go to Hawke's estate just yet. The man needed time alone, mostly, and Fenris needed time to prepare himself mentally. He would go tonight. Anyway, they lived not too far from each other.

That night, Fenris was nervous as hell. He was standing in front of the estate's door, debating whether he should knock or not. But then, he couldn't simply return back to his mansion and not give back the champion's armour and weapon. This would be completely ridiculous. So, gathering his courage, he finally knocked, waiting for someone to answer. Bodahn was the one to open the door. He stared surprisingly at the elf standing outside before biting his lower lip in uncertainty. "Good evening, ser Fenris. I would welcome you inside, however ser Hawke has stated that he didn't want to see anyone." He explained softly. Fenris felt his heart sink. He knew he should comply with the mage's demands, but he really needed to come in for tonight and tonight only.

"I know, but... I came to bring back his armour and weapon. Also, I really need to talk with him. Just this once. Could you let me in, please?" He almost pleaded. He was on the verge of breaking because of everything that had happened.

The dwarf finally agreed to it and let the elf slide inside the estate. Fenris decided to place his package on a table in the entrance hall before turning his head to Bodahn whom, in return, pointed Hawke's room. Fenris nodded in understanding, before quickly and silently making his way to the indicated direction. He knocked briefly on the closed door and opened it quietly, infiltrating the room. The person he was looking for was sitting on the edge of his bed, face hidden in the palms of his hands. Fenris couldn't tell if he was thankful or not that the mage was not asleep. It meant that he could talk to him and wouldn't have to wake him up, but it also meant that Hawke was in too much of a wary state to be able to sleep. "Hawke." The elf called softly. When the other made no movements of recognition, Fenris moved forward slowly, carefully. And then...

"Why did you come?" A voice full of despair, a voice sounding betrayed. The elf closed his eyes and stopped, grief surging him. "I... came to return your armour and weapon." He started. Hawke did not let him finish. "Then you can leave." He told rather firmly, showing how unwanted Fenris' presence was. The elf gulped, but did not turn around. "And to apologize for what I have done and said." He finished, staring at the man he loved with pleading eyes. This time, Hawke raised his head just a little, his face neutral, completely closed. It pained Fenris to see the mage in such a way; he used to be much more open to him, regardless of their rivalry. Still, he could not back down now.

"I am sorry. What I said to you last night – the hurtful words I spat to you – I want to take them all back. I was cruel and selfish; I didn't realise I was hurting the person who mean most to me in this world. I said things I thought I meant, but realised that it was only the anger speaking, because I would never mean any of this to you. I was selfish and never took your feelings into consideration. I must have taken you for granted, which I should have never done. Still, it's no excuse at all." His voice threatened to crack anytime while he was speaking, tears wanting to flow away from his eyes as he recalled the previous events of the day. "The worst part in all of this is that it took me what happened today to realise how heartless and abject I was to you. I saw myself as they insulted you and I disgusted myself to no end. You don't deserve any of this. You're the most self-righteous man that exists. And even though you're a mage, you are strong, gentle, helpful, and trustable. You're a person that deserves only happiness." Fenris whispered, clutching the clothes above his heart.

"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. I never will. But I at least wanted to let you know that I regretted everything." He finished his speech, watching for a reaction out of the mage. None came. Hawke kept silent, eyes turned towards the fireplace, deep in thoughts. Minutes ticked by and Fenris concluded painfully that he would have to leave without hearing his love's voice. "Goodbye, Hawke. I will not be bothering you again. Thank you for everything you did for me." He smiled bitterly and turned around, heading for the door.

"You're right, you don't deserve any forgiveness." The elf froze in place, his heart sinking low. He closed his eyes tightly, suppressing his need to cry. Hand now on the handle, he turned it, ready to leave with those harsh words in mind, when he heard Hawke continue. "For now, at least." He added. "It will take a while before I can trust you again. Not only because of you, but because of them as well. Still, I... I need you here, Fenris. By my side." The elf spun around, for the first time letting hope flicker inside of him. He couldn't have heard right? "What? Hawke, what are you saying? I said hurtful things to you! I was the one at fault for your kidnapping!" He reminded, approaching the mage once more, carefully, unsure if he should believe his companion's words. A bitter smile was playing on Hawke's lips as he stared at the elf. "I still bear feelings for you." He admitted, and his love's reaction almost amused him. Eyes wide, agape, the elf was at a loss of words. "I... I..." He stuttered.

"I really need you. But I won't be able to let you touch me for a while, either. I'm... I'm too scared of that now. So pathetic." Hand pressed against his forehead, Fenris realised that Hawke was doing his best to suppress his tears. However, it was the thing he needed most. The elf approached him quickly, hovering over him gently. The mage froze and flinched, but then he realised that his love was doing nothing more than being near. "I'm here, Hawke. You can... you can cry." The human's face contorted and tears were finally allowed to flow freely. Fenris hushed sweet words awkwardly, but he knew his love needed them. He simply hovered over Hawke, never touching him, staying at his side.

He would make sure to earn that forgiveness.

A/N : And here you have it! I hope you enjoyed it, especially considering that this was the first time I was writing such scenes. I'm kinda not used to it. Oh well, I did my best, and I know that the person requesting this meme was happy with it.

I would still like to hear your thoughts, and critiques are always welcomed.

Thank you for reading!