Beginning

By hye-kyo

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.

A/n: My take on how Kenshin proposes to Kaoru, sort of a completion to the Tanabata episode.

"Do you like the ring Kaoru-dono?"

Kaoru blinks; she might have picked it up unconsciously. She abruptly turns to Kenshin, a smile on his lips.

"It will look good on you miss." She turns to the vendor, watches as his mouth forms a toothless grin. She hastily places the ring down on the table, the jade glinting in the waning sunlight. She takes a step back, folds her palms together and shakes her head.

"Let's go home Kenshin," she says, the words stumbling out of her mouth even before she decides to. She gives the ring one last look before marching off to the direction of the dojo.

"Don't you want the jade ring Kaoru-dono?" he goes just a bit ahead of her so he could see her face.

"I don't Kenshin," she mutters, lying to herself. There were too many things she wants to say in response to his question. But she fears it would frighten him—how much, too much, she wants him to stay by her side, be hers, only hers, mine, no one else's.

"I will buy you the ring if you want Kaoru-dono." He had stopped walking by then, his mouth in a slight smile.

She closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath. It was almost dusk, the sun a fading glow in the orange sky. Had he not understand the meaning of his words? Had he not learned his lesson yet? She would want to say yes, yes give me the ring Kenshin, marry me Kenshin, stay with me always, but she knew better than to make a fool of herself, again.

"Kaoru-dono? I will buy you the ring." She could feel him wordlessly telling her to face him. He was just some feet away; she could reach out and touch his face, his eyes, his nose, his mouth. At that moment all she wants to do was pull herself against him and feel the warmth of his body, tell him many, many, many times how much she feels for him. But she does not need to, it was against everything he needs, and wants.

"You don't want to buy me the jade ring," she chooses her words carefully; she averts her eyes, lest her mouth betray her, she could easily say it was a slip of the tongue. "Trust me. You really don't want to."

He takes a step forward, lessening the mere few feet that divide them. She lifts her head to watch him watch her, takes a step back which he easily matches with another step forward and she frowns. "Kenshin," she warns, her lips set in a thin line.

"Kaoru-dono is right," he almost whispers. His eyes are a set of infinite pools of the unfathomable, pulling her in. His every word feels heavy and, she notes, sad. "I don't want to buy Kaoru-dono a jade ring."

She almost lets out the breath she has taken in, but quickly holds on to it, lest he mistakes it for a sigh. She grips her left hand with her right and tries hard not to cry, but it hurts so much, and swallows all the pain, all the truth and wishes that she had not loved him at all.

"Not a jade ring," he breaks the silence. The cicadas had started humming. "But one with sapphire." A smile forms on his lips, a sad little smile and she could feel the weariness of all those long years of war and sorrow.

He pulls her in, catches her just as her limbs fail her. "I have taken so long," he buries his nose in the crook of her neck, his breath hot against her cold skin. He feels so vulnerable, so scarred. She clings to him, wanting to be strong at his weakest moment yet failing to do so. She opens her mouth to say something-anything-but words left her. "Will you forgive me?" he whispers against her skin, one hand tentatively touching the small of her back.

She shuts her eyes close, commands, begs herself to stop crying but she just could not, she could not because it feels so much. "Kenshin," she says, finally, in a broken voice, she says his name to affirm that he is real, that this is real. Finally.

He cups her face, almost sighs in relief, leans closer and smiles, "Kaoru," he says her name without the honorific and he presses his forehead against her, "Kaoru." He repeats her name like a chant, like a prayer. "Will you put up with me for some more?" he asks, immensely relieved, a grin kicking the corners of his mouth. He cups the back of her neck, pulls her in even as he leans closer.

"Yes," she sighs, meets him halfway and feels the lightest of tremors in her spine at the first touch. His kiss is soft and warm. A first of many to come.

He tells her wordlessly that he could not promise anything, just that he would be with her as long as Kami allows him to and he tells her he will pray that it will be forever.