A/N: From ColdHeartSnake: I would love to see a chapter about Blaine telling Kurt about Cooper, because Cooper is home, visiting.

This should be fun. I apologise for anything that's about to come up.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Blaine: Help me. Kurt, please, I'm begging you.

Blaine: He's reading Sylvia Plath.

Blaine: Cooper is reading Sylvia Plath out loud to get me talking to him.

Blaine: And it is depressing the hell out of me. Please help.

Kurt: Well, he's got a point.

Blaine: Kurt!

Blaine: That was the wrong thing to say. Why, Kurt? Why?

Kurt: He lives in LA, yes?

Blaine: Yes…

Kurt: And you live on the other side of the country, in Ohio.

Blaine: Your point being?

Kurt: You don't see him very much. You should be spending time with him, not with your phone that's with you always.

Blaine: But he's being crude! And I don't want to spend time with him while he's like this!

Kurt: Like what?

Blaine: Annoying. He's just being really really annoying.

Kurt: You're really really annoying lots of times, and I don't text someone else complaining about you.

Blaine: But that's because I'm not afraid to tug the phone out of your hand and kiss you senseless. Cooper, as my brother, will not do that.

Kurt: Blaine. Your brother is obviously not going to make out with you.

Blaine: Not that. Obviously he won't do that. He rarely sees me, so he's a little cautious around me and so won't pull my phone away from me.

Kurt: He might be a bit nervous around you, then. Why don't you just talk to him, and not to me, for a bit? You never know – you might enjoy it. You might reconnect. Anything could happen.

Blaine: I doubt it.

Kurt: Blaine. Just do it.

Blaine: But I don't wanna.

Kurt: Stop acting like a petulant child and man up.

Blaine: Mean.

Kurt: Deal with it. I can get a lot meaner if I want to. I'm not afraid of you.

Blaine: Yes. I'm well aware of that fact.

Kurt: So just talk to him.

Blaine: Okay, I will.

Kurt: Good boy.

Blaine: Kurt help help me please.

Blaine: Kurt he's stripping I don't know what to do.

Kurt: Appreciate it?

Blaine: KURT.

Kurt: What? Your brother's hot.

Blaine: Great. I'll let him know that you're objectifying him.

Kurt: That was not objectification!

Blaine: Don't lie, Kurt. We both know what you're thinking.

Kurt: Fine. If it makes you feel any better, I objectify you mentally too.

Blaine: It doesn't really, although I am flattered.

Kurt: Good. But I still would like a photo.

Blaine: Kurt. I am not taking a photo of my half naked brother for you, when you're dating me.

Kurt: Not seeing the connection.

Blaine: We come from the same gene pool, Kurt. I am more than willing to strip for you.

Kurt: Yeah, but…

Kurt: You do know that I'm joking, right?

Kurt: Blaine?

Kurt: You're infinitely hotter, you do know?

Blaine: Yes, I know.

Kurt: OK, good. I'm really sorry if… I can get excited sometimes.

Blaine: Kurt, calm down. It doesn't matter. I really don't care.

Kurt: I don't know that. Sometimes you really do and sometimes you couldn't care less.

Blaine: I'm aware. Sorry for being high maintenance.

Kurt: Please, darling. If we're having a high maintenance competition, I win on all fronts.

Blaine: Do you?

Kurt: Yes. Do not argue with me on this.

Blaine: OK. Kurt Cooper's trying to teach me how to act again.

Blaine: He tends to do that a lot. I guess it's some weird protective older brother thing that he has.

Blaine: It doesn't really make that much sense, though.

Kurt: How is that a protective older brother thing?

Blaine: I don't know. Everything that he does is governed by that, though.

Kurt: Really?

Blaine: Yes.

Blaine: Trust me.

Blaine: Really.

Kurt: OK. I trust you. I trust your judgement.

Blaine: As you should.

Kurt: Though the patronising could be greatly reduced.

Blaine: Whoops. Sorry. Cooper tends to bring out a patronising side in me. :(

Kurt: It's fine. I'd still like a picture of Cooper though.

Kurt: Or you. Either goes.

Blaine: You're not going to get – in the foreseeable future – a naked picture of Cooper. I'm not sexting via my brother. Do you realise how weird that is?

Kurt: I don't care how weird it is. It's Cooper Anderson – anything goes.

Blaine: Oh my God. Why am I even going out with you again?

Kurt: Because you love me and I'm forever the light of your life?

Blaine: That's one way of putting it, certainly.

Blaine: The time is 9:38 pm, Cooper has gone to bed and there is peace at last.

Kurt: Peace at last? Isn't that a little overdramatic, even for you?

Blaine: Nope. You wouldn't think that, not if you'd been here today.

Blaine: You wouldn't.

Kurt: Well I wasn't, because you and your brother were reconciling, and I had no place in that. So I guess I'll just have to trust you on that one.

Blaine: I guess you will.

Kurt: Except that you're prone to exaggeration.

Blaine: Me? Prone to exaggeration? I think not?

Kurt: I have seen it plenty of times. It's true.

Blaine: Such insults from the one sworn to love me unconditionally. It's truly hurtful, let me tell you.

Kurt: Is it? Look at how much I truly care about that.

Blaine: Ooooooh. Someone's feeling catty today.

Kurt: No more, no less than I usually am.

Blaine: :(

Kurt: Don't do that. It really doesn't work on me.

Blaine: But the puppy eyes do.

Blaine: [image attached]

Kurt: You can send me all the sad eyes you like, I won't be swayed.

Blaine: Swayed by what? What could there be to sway you?

Kurt: Nothing, I'm sure. It's late, Blaine, and you said Cooper had already gone to bed.

Kurt: I think you should go to sleep.

Blaine: I think you're becoming unnecessarily bossy.

Kurt: Bye, Blaine.

A/N: I'm very sorry for the delay. I've finally finished all of my public exams now (yay!) so when I get back there will be plenty of free time, and hopefully I'll be writing in some of it.

:D

Imogen xx