Meanwhile, in the Cullen's pad, Esme, Rosalie, Alice and Bella were sitting around the kitchen table, watching Renesmee, who was making paper airoplanes on the floor.

Suddenly, Esme frowned. "What's that?" They all followed her gaze to the window, where what appeared to be a large, ungainly bird was flying towards them, screams getting louder and louder.

"Wait a minute,it's wearing a My Chemical Romance shirt, it must be Le-"

(Why an MCR shirt, I hear you ask? Well, because I'm wearing one right now, my dears)

With a smash, Leah came through the window and landed on the table, sliding to a halt on her back with her legs in the air. Slowly, she put them down, sat up and blinked.

"Oh, bonjour, mes petite... vamps." She stretched and yawned, then got up- still on the table- and cracked her back.

"Wow, flying through forests isn't pleasant. Don't try it, children." She jumped down and strolled back out through the hole in the window, leaving a stunned female population of the Cullen family.

In the corner, Renesmee held up a piece of paper. "Look," She said prodly,"It's not a paper airplane, it's a paper Leah, neown neown CRASH."

After a few seconds of stunned silence, Tanya got up off Jasper, who made a noise rather like a deflating balloon. She stared around at the wreckage. Somewhere in the distance, Emmett was screaming with a pitch worthy of Justin Bieber.

She opened her mouth, but was interrupted by Leah, who pranced in to the clearing. "Bonjour, mon amie." She frowned. "Sorry, I'm in a strangely foreign mood today."

"Same," Said Carlisle, "I made french pancakes this morning, but couldn't eat them, because I'm a vampire."

"Excuse me," Tanya interrupted, "What the hell's going on?"

"Well, Ginger-"

Carlisle looked at Leah pointedly and she backed off, hands raised.

"Well, you see, Tanya... well, we had a... plan."

"To do what, exactly?"

"Um, to..."

"To get rid," Edward said, standing up unsteadily, "Of you."

Tanya gaped at them.

"Because you're a bit of an annoying slut, to be honest."

"Amen." Jasper's hand apeared from the hole as he said this, followed by his head.

"Hear, hear."

"Preach it, CopperHead."

This last comment came from Leah, who was, unusually, not making any sarcastic comments.

They all looked at Tanya for her reaction.

Somewhere, in the distance, Emmett's screams died down as he took a breath, then started again.