Now, I don't usually post chapters this short, but I don't want to rush this story, this is the part where I can have as much Doctor/Aliya/Jack fun as I want, so I don't want to skip past any of it just to get to Boom Town faster.

Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter: kie1993, OptimisticLivvy, Lexy Summers, ZackAttack96, Mrs. 11th, toavoidconversation, readandwrite4evernever, Marmelatta, Taryn (your review reply is at the bottom of the chapter), Tipper dehavilland, fanfreak4ever!

11 reviews! Thanks so much guys, I love you all!

So enjoy what is pretty much a whole chapter of Jack being entertained by the Doctor and Aliya's relationship. :P

Warning: A LOT of sexual references. XD

The TARDIS had landed in the middle of an alien market, and the two Time Lords and the newest addition to the crew, ex-time agent Jack Harkness, were quick to explore.

"So...is this what you two do? Just travel the universe aimlessly and see everything?" Jack asked curiously as they inspected various wares on the hundreds of carts.

Aliya grinned at the Doctor, and adjusted her large floppy sunhat as she regarded the older man in leather. "Well, he's been doing it for centuries, I suppose I've just been dragged into it."

"But you love it just as much as I do," The Doctor said with his knowingly smug eyebrows.

"Of course," She stuck her tongue out and looked pleased with herself.

"Centuries, huh?" Jack repeated with an eyebrow arched with interest. "What species are you two, anyway? What's your longevity?"

The Doctor smirked and said something very brief in a dialect that Jack couldn't recognize. Aliya tried to fight back a light chuckle and lost, though shot him a reprimanding look. Appeased, the Doctor became serious once more.

"We're Time Lords," He said, and Jack froze momentarily. Whatever he had been expecting, it had not been that. "Heard of us?"

"Well, yeah, but you're a myth, a legend! You're telling me that you actually exist?" He asked incredulously. The Time Lady made a point of adjusting her green sundress so as to try and hide the obvious pain in her eyes. She wasn't successful.

"Please don't say it like that," She said quietly, "The Time Lords were very, very real and the whole universe should remember all that we ever did."

Jack processed her words and cottoned on to another piece of information. "Wait...so that Time War was real too? That kind of destruction...only Sontarans would enjoy that..."

"Think of the worst nightmare you've had, then add murder and pain and destruction along with millions of different cases of genocide, fire raging for decades...then multiply the horror of that by a thousand, and you might start to be able to imagine the idea of the Time War," The Doctor said darkly, watching Jack with his solemn and clear blue eyes.

"Okay...so you're an old soldier, I can kind of see that," Jack noted reasonably with a nod, "But not you, Aliya," His eyes fell on the blonde and she simply nodded slightly, "What's your deal?"

"I was..." Aliya frowned and Jack could visibly see her brain whirring and coming up short. She hesitated and the Doctor came to her aid.

"Think of the equivalent of getting sent to the countryside," The Doctor offered, and while Jack nodded, it was clear that Aliya didn't understand, and neither of them bothered to explain. "Except she was the only one, and I was the only one to make it out of that war alive. We're the only ones left now."

Jack eyed the two people in front of him. They were polar opposites. A man who occasionally looked as though he carried the weight of the universe in his eyes, who wore dark leather and kept his hair short. And then there was the blonde who always had a comeback, however smart or pathetic, who dressed like her fashion sense changed everyday and acted as though she had just been released out of jail.

As expectations of the last of the Time Lords went, these two weren't really what one would expect. But Jack had known them for less than 48 hours and already knew that he wouldn't change a thing about them.

There was still a question in his mind, though.

"Okay...but if she was sent away, why wasn't anyone else?" Jack's question was met with a shared look.

"Everyone was needed for the war. Someone saved me," Aliya finally said as she pointedly looked at the flowers in the cart in front of her, "Or tried to kill me. Completely illegally, of course, but whoever did it is the reason I am standing in front of you instead of dead or in a Time Lock."

"Tried to kill you?" Jack looked curious and folded his arms over his plain white fitted t-shirt.

"Let's just say that my 'countryside', as you call it, was not a very pleasant or safe place. The intention are unclear, but I'm grateful nonetheless," Aliya shrugged and purchased a flower before tucking it behind Jack's ear.

He wasn't in the mood for flowers in that moment. He was still thirsting for answers.

"But what about the children?" Jack demanded. "You must have evacuated the children!" When Aliya didn't answer, he turned on the Doctor.

"The Council argued about it, and the Lady President voted against it, but she was overruled," The Doctor explained grudgingly, "Our children were too clever, too useful."

"You let innocent children die?"

The Doctor looked slightly angry, and Aliya touched his arm gently, which saw him calm down before answering. "It wasn't my decision. I never said the Time Lords were noble or kind. Just too smart for their own good and too used to power. That was a dangerous thing when our enemies took it away from them."

Jack was about to reply when Aliya cut him off.

"Can we stop talking about this, please?" She snapped, her voice wavering slightly. "It's still kind of a fresh wound."

"Sorry, yeah, of course," Jack said quickly, suddenly realizing just how forward he was being, asking them questions about what was probably the darkest time of their past. "But what about your language? Can I hear it?"

Aliya smiled and spoke in a beautiful, lilting tongue that sounded slightly Celtic. When she was done, she grinned at him again, though the Doctor did not look too pleased by whatever she had said.

"I just told you that you're handsome and funny," She translated. Jack grinned.

"Well, I tend to have that effect," He joked, and she laughed.

"You think you're funny, Aliyanadevoralundar?" The Doctor asked, and Jack sensed a slight hint of possession in his tone. The Time Lord spoke in the language, Gallifreyan, Jack recalled, and while he was only talking for about ten seconds, Aliya dropped the vase she had been holding in her hands. It fell to the floor with a crash and a bird-faced vendor started yapping at them angrily.

The blonde quickly shoved some money at it, her hands shaking ever so slightly, her cheeks a little flushed. She turned to regard the Doctor with an unfathomable expression. Although confused, Jack found the whole thing strangely hilarious.

"We're in public," She hissed, and this made the Doctor look more pleased with himself.

"And no one can understand what we're saying because the TARDIS doesn't translate Gallifreyan," He grinned at her smugly.

"Can I ask what he said?" Jack put in, and Aliya turned bright red.

"No, I can not repeat what he just said, and I wouldn't even know to translate all of it into English..." Aliya said adamantly.

"Why not?"

"She's right, it's not exactly fit for public ears." The man in leather was smirking at his other half, who seemed angry but not quite, as if there was something Jack was missing. "Sort of...private."

"That's not much of an answer."

The Doctor grinned again, a glint in his eyes as he regarded Jack. "It was filthy."

Jack thought that his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets as he realized the other man's implications. "Oh!" He laughed appreciatively. "Didn't think you had it in you, Doctor."

"She needed reminding what would happen if she took too much interest in pretty boys," The Doctor said as if it were completely justified.

"Could have reminded me later," Aliya muttered.

"That a promise, Ali?" The Doctor's taunt was met by a rude hand gesture from the woman being teased. Suddenly it seemed that she changed her mind and her eyes narrowed slightly and a torrent of words flew out of her mouth, and Jack could tell by looking between the two of then that hers was just as dirty as his, if not more so.

The Doctor's eyes visibly darkened and he shot Aliya a warning look. She simply moved away from Jack and approached her kindred with a satisfied grin on her face. He watched her with narrowed eyes.

"Don't tempt me," He said in a low tone, but she simply stretched up to kiss him fleetingly and then jumped backwards before his hands could grab her. "Do you really want to start this?"

"Of course!" Aliya retorted as she sidled before Jack and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Because now I have Jack to protect me!" The Doctor raised an eyebrow at the third member of the group, who slowly grinned at him.

"Tag team?" He offered, and the Time Lord's face split into a grin as he nodded. Aliya, not understanding the term, did not guess the meaning of it before Jack reached behind him and scooped her up bridal style.

"Jack! I thought you would be on my side!" Aliya grumbled as she was transferred to the Doctor, being carried like a child through the market while she wriggled fruitlessly.

"Bros before hoes, Ali, sorry..."

"I don't know what any of those words mean, Jack, that's not fair! And you, Doctor, stop laughing at me or I will withhold sex for a month linear time."

The Doctor immediately sobered and she smirked triumphantly while Jack looked between the two of them and proceeded to figuratively laugh his pants off.

"You know, I think I'm going to call your bluff."

Aliya raised an eyebrow without turning around and flicked her eyes to the mirror where she saw the Doctor standing at the corner of the area of the wardrobe she was in. Clothed in only undergarments on her top half and small denim shorts on the bottom half, she would have felt bare in front of everyone else, but being shy with someone she shared a bed with would hardly be logical.

"Call my bluff on what?" She asked tentatively before reaching for a nearby t-shirt. Before she could pull it on, he had crossed over to her and snatched it out of her hands. Perhaps she would have noticed it falling to the floor at their feet if she hadn't gotten distracted by the look in his eyes that she knew only too well.

"You couldn't go a month without me any more than I could without you," His hungry blue eyes stared down at her as they gravitated towards each other, coming closer and closer but not touching, stuck in a game of cat and mouse where neither knew who was which animal.

He grabbed her wrist to stop her hand, which had been reaching out to touch his face, and they stood there, both staring at the one point where they had finally made contact. The block didn't put her off, she merely tried again with the other hand, only to have that one halted in a similar away.

But Aliya wasn't one to back down easily, and she turned his own moves against him as she leapt at him, using his arms as leverage to leave the ground behind. In one quick second, her knees were locked around his hips and their faces and chests were a mere few torturous inches from touching.

"Your move, soldier," She whispered, and felt his arms wind around her tightly, pressing her flush against him. The tiniest movement on her part could have brought their lips together by that point but she remained still as she locked eyes with him once more. His right hand began to slide along her exposed thigh in obvious invitation, and she dipped her head the half a centimeter it needed to seal her actions with a kiss.

Within seconds her bra was unhooked and she grinned against his lips as her own hands did their best to throw his leather jacket on the floor. His response was to walk them into a dressing stall of the wardrobe and press her back against one of the walls.

They didn't bother to pull the curtains shut.

Several days later, Jack was fixing himself some coffee in one of the many TARDIS kitchens when a Time Lady wearing nothing but a long bed shirt burst through the doors and raced to the other side of the room. A few seconds later, the Doctor followed, looking half-naked himself without his signature jacket.

"Alright, you win this time," He grumbled, "But you cheated."

Aliya made a point of batting her eyelashes innocently. "Cheat? I did no such thing."

"You undid my pants!" He argued, and Jack looked between them before laughing heartily. Aliya joined in and began walking back to the main kitchen area.

"Hm, yes, your fly is still undone, Theta," She giggled a little as she went past, and he hastily remedied the situation, looking irritated. "Hot chocolate?"

"Tea, thanks," The Doctor corrected, and she shrugged.

"Then that's your own problem, I don't know how to make anything but hot chocolate."

"What kind of rubbish wife are you?"

"Wait, you two are married?" Jack's question made them all stop, the two aliens staring at him with confusion as they took in his obvious surprise.

"Yes, in a Time Lord sense," Aliya said with a small nod, wondering how he hadn't realized earlier, "We have a mental bond."

Jack looked impressed. "So, you can read each other's minds?"

"It's not that simple. It takes a lot of effort, and we need to be touching," The Doctor crossed his arms as he leant against the kitchen counter.

"Unless it's an emergency, in which case we can use a lot more of our mental power, but broadcast it across a distance, sometimes even time, according to legend," Aliya added, "But we haven't tried it yet, because it's exhausting and frankly, being separated is boring."

"By that comment, I'm going to assume that you haven't been married long," Jack smirked, and they both laughed a little.

"No, we haven't, we're still very much in the honeymoon stage," Aliya said as she shot a warm smile at the Doctor before walking past him with her hot chocolate and sitting down at the dining table by herself. "We'd probably be a more…private, but it's not as if you mind."

"Mind? I enjoy knowing details of your sex life," Jack agreed, and Aliya snorted into her mug before composing herself and sipping it slowly.

The Doctor frowned as he looked between them. "Well, you're not getting too many details, Captain."

"Of course he isn't, you know that I find it repulsive to talk about intimate acts like that, it cheapens them," Aliya nodded, resulting in Jack to raising his eyebrow questioningly.

"That's not what it seemed like at the market place the other week," He pointed out only for Aliya to shake her head quickly.

"But I was getting angry at him…plus, it's my native language and no one could understand what we were saying. I could never do it in English," She shuddered visibly.

"So you don't talk dirty to each other?"

The Doctor grabbed his cup of tea and sat down opposite his fellow Time Lord, sighing. "Why are we having this discussion?"

"Have you considered, Jack, that perhaps he's simply so good that dirty talking isn't necessary?" Aliya's voice was quiet and suggestive as she trained her different coloured eyes on him with a large smirk.

Jack, however, wasn't fazed for a moment. "And have you considered, Ali, just how sinful his gorgeous Northern accent could make those kinds of words?" Immediately, her cheeks flushed a bright pink as she imagined exactly what he was describing, and her cheeks only got hotter once she realized that she liked that fantasy. Quite a lot. The ex-Time Agent noticed this within seconds. "I thought so."

"I don't need sexual advice from you, Jack!" She snapped, glaring, and he chuckled. "And stop laughing at me!"

"You're being quite bossy for someone who isn't even wearing pants," Jack's smirk drove her to the limit and she stormed out, cursing under her breath.

The Doctor watched her go, and rolled his eyes before sighing. "Well thanks a lot, Captain, now you've pissed her off and I'm going to have to calm her down."

"Yeah, you are," Jack said, innuendo laced through his tone, "Try some of that dirty talk this time, I bet she'd go for it." The Time Lord just rolled his eyes again and looked away. "Oh, come on, Doctor! Someone who talks as much as you and has an ego as big as yours-"

"You're a fine one to talk about egos."

"-but someone like you…talking has to be something you're into, am I right?"

"Maybe," The Doctor avoided his eyes and got up from the table before making for the door, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a wife to diffuse."

"Oh, I know!"

So hopefully that was kind of fun and a nice change of pace from that dark Dalek arc in the new DS chapter that I put up yesterday. I had a lot of fun writing this, but hopefully I got Jack in character, because he is so hilarious! :)

Reviews would be an amazing late birthday present? (I am sixteen now, WOOP!)

-MayFairy :)

Anonymous Review Replies:

Taryn - Thanks so much for such a nice review! No, there isn't enough Ninth Doctor fic out there considering how awesome he is, and so much of it is just Nine/Rose centered, so it's nice to have something different. And while I may not hate Rose (though I do have my days), she does get on my nerves quite a lot. She'll pop up now and again, but she isn't going to become a companion at any point, don't worry. It's nice to know that you love Aliya, though! This is actually just an AU companion story, you should check out the main story, Deafening Silence, which has Eleven instead of Nine, but it's quite different because their relationship is much more complicated due to River and stuff. :) It gets a lot more priority than this too.