This will be a collection of random bits inspired by DA2 with no particular rhyme or reason. But first, a word of...well, not exactly explanation:

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1. Prologue - Genesis of a Title

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Scene: The Writer is on the freeway, driving home from work in heavy commute traffic.

The Writer: So I've got these unrelated germs of ideas for DA2 drabbles...

Higher Brain Function: You could make them into a collection.

The Writer: Would that work?

Higher Brain Function: Why not? People with far more talent than you've got have been doing it and you enjoy their work.

The Writer: True. Hmm, what should I name it?

Higher Brain Function: "A Ferelden in Kirkwall"

The Writer: Too Hawke-centric.

Higher Brain Function: "Kirkwall? Kirkwall!"

The Writer: Meh. Sounds like a musical travelogue.

Higher Brain Function: "A Ferelden Champion in Viscount-"

The Writer: No.

Higher Brain Function: See, it's like "A Connecticut Yankee-"

The Writer: What part of "no" was unclear to you?

Higher Brain Function: Umm...DA2..."DA-Too"..."DA-Tour"..."DA-Toot"

The Writer: No. No. And are you kidding?

Evil Muse: "Kirkwallop"

The Writer: ...pfffftt...

Higher Brain Function: What?

Evil Muse: "Kirkwallop"

The Writer: Bwahahahaha!

Higher Brain Function: WTF?

The Writer: "Kirkwallop"...snyerk...hahaha!

Higher Brain Function: Why on earth do you find that so amusing?

The Writer: [crying with laughter] I really haven't got a clue.

Higher Brain Function: TRUCK!

The Writer: I see it, I see it!

Higher Brain Function: [to Evil Muse, accusingly] That was your fault!

Evil Muse: And so my work here is done.

Higher Brain Function: You! Pay attention!

The Writer: Yes, fine.

[A short silence ensues.]

Higher Brain Function: Don't forget to stop at the produce stand.

Evil Muse: Pssst..."Kirkwallop"

The Writer: Bwahahaha!

Higher Brain Function: Oh, for... [figurative facepalm]

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The preceding has been a true and correct rendering of the thought process leading to this collection's title. No names were changed seeing as how no one involved is particularly innocent.

Higher Brain Function: This had nothing to do with me!

We now return you to actual fanfiction. Thank you for your indulgence.