Any warnings or notes: Please see previous chapters

Chapter 13

After a much waited and long recovery period, Ezra finally unveiled his promise to Jesse and the rest of his team. The timing was perfect, it was the end of the school year and the seven men were in need of some rest and relaxation. Ezra hauled out two boats. His party pontoon which could hold fifteen people and a speedboat for the more adventurous thrill seeking type.

The sun shone high in the sky, while the lake reflected the bluest of skies; not a cloud in sight. It was as if all their hard work had finally paid off. Chris' truck pulled one of the boats while Josiah's suburban was hitched to the other. This was how their week began.

It had been Ezra's doing to acquire both a pontoon and speed boats to entertain themselves and their guests. The pontoon easily seated fifteen, however the speed boat could only seat seven or eight. Ezra had fulfilled his promise.

The lake was the perfect temperature and the local ladies and tourists got an eye ogling sight at the seven men in swim trunks. Thankfully they were able to talk Buck out of wearing his speedo for this occasion otherwise they may have had a riot on their hands.

Jesse wore a dark colored T-shirt over his trunks he was a bit self conscious of his scars. It certainly had been awhile since the team truly let their guard down for a day. Chris commandeered the speed boat, while Ezra graciously allowed Josiah to steer the party boat. Rest and relaxation were at the forefront of their minds.

They anchored the two boats off of party grove, cranked the radios, and began to dive in. Pretty soon other boaters in the area followed suit. Their wide smiles were contagious as well as their antics. Chris and Vin literally threw Jesse overboard, life preserver and all. Jesse came up spluttering and had to move quick as Chris launched himself off the boat and into the water. Next Vin dove in closely followed by Buck and J.D. The so called adults on the pontoon looked out shaking their heads slowly back and forth at their various antics. They expected that sort of stuff from Buck and J.D., and were quite surprised by Chris and Vin, but then again those two did act like two grown kids from time to time.

Josiah got tired of watching the rest of them have fun in the water and decided to join them a la cannonball. "Look out!" Ezra warned them all. His warning almost came too late.

Jesse had a little fun with the ruckus. He decided to disappear for a bit, and see how Chris would react. He had an idea, but wanted to test the theory as they say. Since they all were in the water, at least the ones from the speed boat were, and they had been conveniently distracted by Josiah's grand splash. Jesse then heaved himself up onto the boat with no one the wiser. He stayed low and listened to the boisterous voices. He decided to give them five minutes. Although he didn't expect the next bunch of voices to coincide with his plan.

Another speed boat slowly entered the 'no wake' zone. "Ahoy muchachos!"

Joe? What was he doing here? "I'm glad you all could make it to our party." Ezra's voice sailed across to the other boat.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world. Speaking of which, you never mentioned you knew my Uncle Raphael." An amused Joe announced, he scanned the waters and the other boats for his leader.

Never missing a single beat Ezra replied. "You sir, never asked." Following Joe's gaze Ezra started to do a head count and realized who indeed was missing. "Oh, Mr. Larabee?"

"What, Ezra?" Chris shouted over the raucous after he thoroughly dunked Vin.

"We seem to be missing someone."

"Who?" Chris' gut suddenly went into overdrive.

Joe answered before any of the others could put voice into words. "Where's Jesse?"

Jesse would realize later that it wasn't a good idea to get lost in your own thoughts while hiding from everyone.

Flashback to a few months ago…

Prior to the end of the school year found Jesse recuperating at a somewhat steady rate. His sessions with Dr. Youngblood proved to be going well. There were the occasional setbacks, yet he wouldn't be human if those hadn't occurred. Even his dad attended those sessions when he was called upon to do it. No griping or complaining from Chris. He was Jesse's anchor in the sea of storms known as life.

They continued to butt heads more than a few times over Jesse's recovery. Some arguments escalated, but none were too severe to become worrisome. Once Dr. Gilbert gave Jesse the all clear, Chris suggested a trip to Kansas City to take care of some unfinished business. Not sure what his dad meant by that, Jesse reluctantly agreed to the suggestion.

Chris handled the travel arrangements. They would leave at the beginning of the week and spend a few days in Missouri. Apprehensive about whatever piqued Chris' sudden interest in returning to Missouri Jesse conveniently sought refuge at Rogue's side. That's where Chris found him, after his studies and assorted chores for the rest of the week. Jesse in the stable talking softly to his horse. Rogue playfully nipped and nuzzled his riding buddy. Chris watched and waited until Jesse spoke revealing how well he knew his dad.

"Are you going to stand and watch me the rest of the night or do you want to go for a ride?"

Acknowledging his son's request Chris answered. "Thought you'd never get around to asking."

They saddled and readied both horses. Chris actually saddled both horses as Jesse completed the task of putting the bridles on both Pony and Rogue. He was still working at getting his strength back to where it had been before the incident. Once mounted, Chris led the way to a familiar place. One of the first places Chris had shown Jesse. "Thought you might want a bit of familiarity to start with."

Jesse's mind was elsewhere, in a place that had once been happy, but now only held sorrow. He nodded in response to Chris' casual statement. He didn't see the green of the grass or the leafy trees. Instead he saw flames, death, and a hard life of a young boy. So caught up in his thoughts he hadn't seen Chris dismount or hear his next question. He was startled out of his thoughts when someone touched him. "What?"

"Jesse, you okay?"

"Huh, oh, yeah I'm fine." Jesse could tell Chris didn't believe a word he said. He hurried to wipe his face after discovering some moisture had run down his cheeks. He reaffirmed his disposition by testily saying, "I'm fine."

It was going to be that kind of day. Whenever he or any of his men said those two words they were anything but, fine. Chris worked his jaw a little and backed up a few steps allowing Jesse to dismount. He saw the tears and guessed what his son had been thinking on. "I'm sure Shane will be ecstatic to see you again, seeing he didn't get much of a chance to celebrate with us before being called back to the city."

"Sure. Why are we going there?" Simple enough question.

"Director Travis hinted at it. He thought we could check up on Shane, see how the Kansas City office is coping, and spend some time together."

"Like we haven't done that very same thing in the past few months. There's something more to this, isn't there."

His son is one sharp kid. Nothing gets past him. "There's some things we need to sort out and we can't do it here."

Well that was enlightening. Leave it to Chris to be all cryptic and such. "Fine." Jesse sat down on the grass and started pulling at the blades. He'd rather be riding than sitting here dwelling on things that were never going to be anything more than memories. He couldn't understand why he was so melancholy. Actually he knew, he just didn't want to admit it. If the pain he was feeling now were any indication he was sure it would be much worse when they arrived in Missouri.

"You want to talk about it."

A part of him wanted to but another part wanted to lash out. Neither choice made him feel any better. "No. Can we just go?" He didn't want to cry anymore. He also thought if he said anything he and Chris would end up in an argument. Better to leave it alone for now.

Chris could see the battle of emotions play across Jesse's features. This trip to Kansas City he was already wishing it was over and done with and they could get back to bigger and better things. Orrin thought Jesse needed some closure on the subject and what better time to do it. It wasn't like his men couldn't function without him. They've proven that time after time. The rest of them agreed with the Director's suggestion. Even Vin, who hated to be separated from Chris for a long period of time put his two bits in as well.

"Ya know the Director's right about this."

"How so? All I see is stirring up more trouble."

"Chris, ya both need this. Didn't Doc Youngblood say the same thing?" Vin watched his friend nod in agreement. "This would be the perfect opportunity for ya to clear the air in regards to your problems, too. You didn't get much of a chance over the last few months. Any time y'all talked it ended in some sort of argument over nothin'."

He never knew Vin to be so talkative. Only when he needed to make a point. Right now was one of those times. Biting back a grimace Chris heard his friend out.

Stubbornness stood at the forefront of Vin's mind when dealing with Chris. Not too many men could go head to head with the difficult, often misunderstood man. Many wouldn't even consider it, but Vin wasn't just any man. Chris Larabee may be his boss, yet he's also a close friend. "I'm not the only one that feels this way."

"Should've known the whole motley crew would feel the same."

"We're only concerned for ya and Jesse. We'll keep the team running like a well-oiled machine. No worries."

"Fine. I couldn't ask for a better team or friends. Thanks." He patted Vin's shoulder and they clasped forearms.

That conversation seemed like a lifetime ago yet it had only been last week. Now if he could only convince Jesse this little trip could benefit both of them in the long run. It was definitely time to lay the ghosts of their collective pasts to rest.

Kansas City, MO

The flight in wasn't bad. Besides being a bit groggy, Jesse seemed alright. Little did Chris know how much emotional baggage Jesse still carried. They checked in at their hotel first, Chris made a few phone calls, while Jesse looked out over the city he had once called home.

Granted he and his family lived outside of the big city, Jesse knew it backwards and forwards no matter how long he's been away. The urge to investigate it almost overwhelmed him. Perhaps later, when Chris went to bed he'd sneak out and get reacquainted with it. The night life was the best part of the city.

"Okay…Will do…See you in a half an hour." Ending his call Chris watched Jesse. "Hey, we're going to the ATF building. Shane can't wait to see us."

Snapping out of his thoughts Jesse reluctantly followed Chris out the door. "What were you thinking about in there?"

"Nothing. Can't I have thoughts and not share with you?" The teen tersely answered.

He had known this would be hard on Jesse, but he wanted the attitude gone. "Tone down that attitude. I didn't think the laws have changed that much since leaving Denver. I only asked you a question. I would have let it go after your first answer." Chris wondered if they were going to be able get through the first day without a heated argument. Not likely. He was already counting down from ten.

Feeling slightly guilty but not overly so, Jesse bit back another surly response. He sure as hell didn't want to be on this trip. The memories from five years ago were so fresh, it was like reopening a recently healed wound. Who's brilliant idea had this been? Oh yeah, Director Travis. Oh joy. He could see the tic in Chris' cheek and knew his dad barely had his own anger under control. Great, just peachy.

They arrived at the ATF building neither saying too much. Jesse was fighting an inner battle he currently was losing. The memories of this place were like a movie playing over and over in his head since they arrived. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep it together. The sooner he got away the better. Away from the ATF building, all those people who once knew his family, and Chris. There was only one place he longed to visit, but he didn't want any companionship.

If Chris had any inkling to what he planned he was sure his dad would bust his ass. At this point in time, he was positive they weren't even on the same wavelength. He was probably cursing Director Travis' and Dr. Youngblood's brilliant plan to chase away any remaining demons. Jesse convinced himself the only positive thing that would come out of this trip was him losing whatever sanity he had regained over the last few months.

As soon as they stepped into Shane Williamsson's office, Jesse had a feeling the other man could read him like a book. Shane may have been smiling, overjoyed to see them, yet that same joy didn't quite reach his eyes. Chris and Shane shook hands, clapped each other on the back, and asked each other how each had been.

"I see life's been treating you better than the last time I saw you. At least you're not constantly looking over your shoulder or flinching at the shadows. Good to see you Shane. Congratulations on your promotion. It's well deserved."

This time his emotions reached his eyes. "Thanks Chris. I don't think any of this would have been possible, if you and your team hadn't stepped in when you did." There was a pause. "Hey, Jesse, how've you been?"

Shane noticed the haunted look deep within those green eyes. He inwardly cursed himself as this was the same office years ago that Jesse learned the truth about his parents' deaths. "Fine. Nice to see ya again. How's it feel to be upper echelon for a change?"

If he didn't play it cool, Shane would no doubt blow the whistle on him. Pull it together Jesse, now's not the time for this crap. "So, what's the plans for today? Anything I can help you with while you're here?"

Chris could see the apprehension in Shane's eyes when he talked to Jesse. There was something going on, but he knew just how stubborn Jesse could be when faced with something unpleasant. He stood behind Jesse placing his hands on each of his shoulders. "Jess, would you mind if I spoke with Shane alone?"

Finally a break. He needed some time alone.

It didn't escape Chris' notice the tension that he felt from Jesse when he touched him. It reminded him of the first time they had met. Slightly disheartened by Jesse's current mood, Chris waited on his son's answer. "Go ahead. I'll be fine."

"Do you remember your way to the coffee room?" Shane questioned.

"Is it still in the same spot?" Shane nodded. "Yeah, I remember." He waited for Chris to give him the usual reminder.

"Stay put and don't go anywhere."

"Yeah, yeah. Go. I'll be fine." Chris wasn't reassured by that response but there wasn't much he could do about it. Later they would talk.

As soon as Shane closed his office door, Jesse went in search of the coffee room/cafeteria. A stray thought hit him and he decided to head to the lobby instead. It was like an unknown force was guiding him there. He hoped he had enough time before Chris and Shane would come looking for him. It was a chance he would take.

He made a beeline for the elevators, entered an open one, and quickly punched the button for the lobby. More memories of happier times passed across his mind. A time when his father and he would take the elevator up to his office. The elevator doors swooshed open signaling his arrival to the lobby. Cautiously he stepped out and walked to the wall he was determined to see.

There his past collided with the present. The wall had grown, since he last was here. Many plaques accompanied by pictures adorned its surface. Jesse's eyes zeroed in on the one picture that stood out among the others. He tentatively reached out and brushed the engraved letters of the name. Kevin Ryder. Dad, I miss you. The familiar lump in his throat made its presence known again. Damn. He instantly knew he needed to get to the other place as soon as possible, he needed to see them both. Looking further at the wall he saw the rest of Team Two. Those men and their families would always have a special place in his heart. Right next to the place he kept the memory of his parents.

Rapidly blinking back tears, Jesse made his way to the restroom. Thankfully no one else occupied it at the time. He quickly ran some cold water and splashed his face. Ten minutes had gone by as he attempted to regain his composure. Once satisfied, he made his way back up to the floor of the Director and hurriedly found the coffee room. He figured he hadn't been missed since he didn't see either Chris or Shane in the room. Jesse had been about to breathe easy when he heard, "Where the hell have you been?" Shit!

"Didn't I say not to go anywhere?" The incredulous voice repeated the phrase.

Not even looking at Chris, Jesse answered. "Had to do something. Nothing bad happened."

"Nothing bad, huh. Did it happen to cross your mind that Shane and I would be worried if we discovered you missing?" His son's non responsive mood irked Chris to no end. "I'm waiting for an answer."

Part of Jesse understood Chris' concern, however, the other part could have cared less. The latter won this time around. Being the impartial bystander, Shane saw past the mutinous expression on Jesse's hardened features. What he saw gave a hint as to Jesse's recent whereabouts. He'd bet anything, the teen visited the lobby and the wall. It was a natural reaction given the circumstances.

Clearing his throat and saving Jesse from answering Shane interrupted the tense scene between father and son. "Uh, Chris, sorry for the interruption, but I have an idea where he might have been." Chris now directed that infamous glare toward Shane. Wow! They weren't joking when people mentioned the intensity of that particular glare. Inwardly flinching he said, "I'm betting he went down to the lobby to look at the wall."

"The wall!"

How did Director Travis put up with Chris' moods? The man must be some sort of martyr for doing so. "Chris, you have the same wall in your building like in all the ATF buildings. The memorial wall." He took notice as Chris' mood shifted and understanding took its place. He, also, noticed Jesse's mood hadn't changed. I sincerely hope those two work out whatever it is between them before it goes too far to be fixed.

He sure felt like an idiot after Shane's statement. Of course, he knew what the man had said. "Sorry Shane, didn't mean to bark at you."

The other man chuckled. "Your bark and glare are well known throughout the ATF."

More than a bit embarrassed by that statement Chris said, "I know, my reputation as a hard ass proceeds me. Wouldn't dream of disappointing anyone." His gaze softened somewhat as it landed on Jesse. "What I'd like to know is why you wouldn't tell me this?"

"Wouldn't dream of interrupting your tirade." Jesse muttered.

Shane rolled his eyes. Why did this kid seemingly get his kicks in provoking others. He was positive it was a built-in defense mechanism or something. No wonder he was often in trouble. Hadn't he ever heard of thinking before speaking? Shane cringed waiting to see Larabee's reaction.

Chris barely contained it. That tic in his jaw reflexively showed itself while he clenched his hands into fists as they were folded across his chest. He's baiting you. Don't take the bait. Wish Vin or Buck were here to help him through this challenge. He decided to stay neutral. "I think it's best if we go. Thanks for your help, Shane, we both appreciated it. I'll convey your ideas to Orrin. We'll keep in touch."

Maybe next time their visit will be easier. He had hoped that the next time included the rest of Team Seven and even some of Jesse's friends. "See that you do." They shook hands again. "Jess."

Jesse looked up to Shane and despite his mood allowed the older man to pull him into an embrace. He heard Shane whisper. "I'm sure you're mom and dad are proud of you. Tell them I said hi and try not to give Chris such a hard time, will ya?"

All Jesse could manage was a nod against Shane's shoulder. They soon broke apart and he and Chris made their way out of the building. His dad asked him a question once they were in the rental car. "Is there anywhere you'd like to go before we head back to the hotel?"

Jesse shook his head no. He needed to rest if he was to put his plan into action. As much as he wanted to tell Chris, he felt as if he couldn't express it in any words. He would let it play out. He was pretty sure Chris wouldn't be happy with him later, but that's a chance he was willing to take.

That feeling that something was about to go wrong stuck with Chris like glue. The center of that feeling was connected to Jesse in some way. Ever since they arrived in Missouri he's had that gut feeling. It grew stronger, never wavering. He wished Jesse would talk to him about it, but he sensed his son was overwhelmed by other emotions. He wasn't thrilled with this idea either, but went along with it to help his son. Maybe by tomorrow they would sort all of this out. Although, this was Jesse, and nothing was ever that easy.

At the hotel, Jesse crawled back into bed, exhausted by the turn of events. Chris mentioned he'd wake him in a couple of hours so they could grab something to eat. He muttered something that Chris took to mean fine.

True to his word, Chris woke a groggy Jesse after a two hour nap. A bit disheveled, Jesse used the bathroom to freshen up before they headed out to a nearby restaurant. He gained a little insight into his old stomping grounds. Noticed what was new and what had stayed the same. He couldn't wait to explore the rest on his own and that thought gave him the boost he needed to tolerate the rest of the day.

Somewhat suspicious of the attitude change, Chris walked on eggshells for the remainder of the day. As soon as they got back to the hotel, he checked his voicemail messages as Jesse flipped on the TV. There were only a few messages. He decided to call Orrin back immediately and fill him in on what Shane had mentioned. Discreetly he left the room to make that phone call.

After the door closed, Jesse pretended to watch whatever was on the TV. He formulated a plan in his head and went over the details on how he would leave without waking his dad. That was going to be the hardest part, since they were sharing a room. Well, at least they each had a bed and Jesse was certain he could arrange the pillows to look like a person lying between the sheets.

Next, he paced back and forth all over the floor, listening to where the floorboards creaked and mentally stashed that knowledge for later use. He, also, made certain he had his cell phone, blade, and whatever cash he had on his person. Would it be suspicious to Chris, if he slept in his jeans tonight? Maybe he could fake falling asleep on top of the bed. He pulled off his button downed shirt and left his sleeveless tee on.

He laid his jean jacket on a chair next to his bed, there he placed his blade in its usual spot. Cell phone was dropped into an inner pocket along with his wallet. He would change it up once he was out of the room and on the street. He dismissed the idea of fake sleeping and hoped he wouldn't sleep through the night. If he kept this up he wouldn't sleep well, he never slept well when he was ready to hit the street. He schooled his features as Chris walked back into the room.

"Anything interesting on the TV?" Chris tried one last time to communicate with his son.

Jesse answered indifferently. "Not really." He wasn't ready to talk to Chris about any of the feelings that were bothering him as of late. In some way he hoped Chris would understand why he needed to do this, yet again, he was about to break his dad's number one rule: No running away. He began channel surfing while laying upon the bed.

"Pick a channel already." His dad growled.

"Fine." He settled on a baseball game.

An hour later, Jesse's eyelids grew heavier finally closing of their own accord. Another thirty minutes ticked on by and Chris looked up from the book he had been reading. Seeing Jesse out like a light, he decided not to harp on him to change his clothes, and gently pulled the bed cover over his sleeping form. Chris decided he too should hit the sack tomorrow may prove to be another long day. He prayed it wouldn't be, but with Jesse one never could tell. Once Chris' head hit the pillow he was out for the night. The day had been mentally exhausting for both of them.

The next time Jesse woke he chanced a glance at the digital travel clock and saw it was 3:00 a.m. Shit, times a wasting. He quietly sat up, grabbed his shirt off of the chair and put it on. Next he pulled on his socks and put his shoes on. He purposely didn't untie the shoelaces last night. He stood stock still listening to Chris' even breathing before he pulled his jean jacket on. Fishing out his wallet, he pocketed it into his front jean pocket. If someone tried to pick pocket him there he would surely feel it. Next, he traced tentative steps across the floor heading straight for the door. He gently turned the knob and with the extra key he hoped he was quiet enough as he locked the door behind him. Then he quickly walked to the lobby, placed the extra key in an envelope, wrote the room number on it, and put it on the front desk. He was thankful the night clerk was away, because he didn't want to answer any unforeseen questions.

Once outside, he took a deep breath and whispered, "Sweet freedom," and disappeared into the night.

Three hours later, Chris suddenly woke up. Bleary eyed, he too, glanced at the little travel alarm clock. Six a.m. He glanced to the other bed and saw what he thought to be his sleeping son in the darkened room. Figuring he'd give Jesse another hour's worth of rest he slowly made his way to the bathroom. He started the shower, grabbed some clothes from the dresser, and tip toed back into the bathroom. As soon as he was done with his morning ablutions he made his way over to the curtained windows and opened them wide. The sun had already begun its climb into the sky. It was then that Chris turned around wondering why the sunlight didn't bring forth the usual moan from the sleeping boy. He reached out to shake the boy awake and immediately knew that wasn't Jesse under the covers.

What the hell? Chris pulled back the covers, revealing two pillows. Damn it Jesse, where the hell are you? He quickly dialed the front desk and asked if anyone had seen his son leave the hotel. The woman at the desk told him that she didn't, although she had recently started her shift. She told him she would make a phone call to whomever was on the prior shift. Chris hung up and waited for the return call. As soon as the phone rang he picked it up. "Larabee. Uh huh…He found what?...Thank you…No, that won't be necessary." He slammed the receiver down. Jess, what are you up to? He pulled out his cell phone and dialed another number.

The phone rang and rang. Come on. Come on. Pick up. Chris tried to will the person on the other end to pick up the phone. Finally success.

"Williamsson. This better be important."

"It is."

Bewilderment hit. "Chris? What happened?"

"Shane, Jesse's gone, any idea where he might be?"

Crap. You just had to do it, didn't you, kid. "I kind of figured he would pull something like this after seeing him yesterday."

"And you failed to mention it to me? If you knew he would do this, why didn't you say something?" Chris was beside himself.

"Easy Chris, I'm not the enemy. I think I've already proven that, haven't I? I wasn't entirely sure, but since you're calling me at this hour, it's obvious Jesse made his move."

"Any suggestions?"

"He's probably revisiting some old haunts or from the look on his face yesterday he's probably going to see his old house and reacquaint himself with his parents."

A sharp intake of breath met Shane's answer. "You have some directions to those last two destinations on Jesse's radar."

Shane rattled off the directions then asked. "Need any help finding him?"

"If I do, I'll give you a call. Thanks for the help."

"Any time. Good luck. Jesse's one lucky kid to have you."

"Yeah, I just wish he knew it."

"He does. In his round about way, he does. See ya."

"Yeah, see ya."

He made another phone call and as expected received a voicemail message. "Jesse, it's dad. I'm trying to understand how you're feeling, but you're not making it easy. Please Jess, call me. I'm worried."

Jesse had heard his cell phone and immediately silenced the phone. Where he was headed he didn't want any interferences. After reliving some street moments Jesse hopped the nearest public transit to the furthest point outside of the city. From there he walked the final two miles to a place he had called home.

He wasn't surprised to see nothing left. Everything was gone, but the memories. Jesse didn't stay long, although he decided to take a different way back then the way he had come. He definitely wanted to cover his tracks. His mood hadn't changed much and he wanted to avoid Chris as long as possible. Even though there was still a part of him wanting Chris to find him. Since he took a different route back to the bus stop he missed his dad coming up the road.

Chris pulled off the road to look at the expanse of land that held the remains of a foundation. His heart ached at the sight. He could only imagine what Jesse was thinking. Although they both suffered tragic losses involving family and both at the hands of the same woman; it was different for each of them. He pondered on it a moment longer and decided to head to the cemetery and see if Jesse was there.

By the time Jesse made it to the cemetery, Chris had been waiting awhile to see if his son would show. His gut told him Jesse would be there. There were a few times he wanted to leave, but he couldn't ignore that feeling. It has worked too well in the past to give up on it now.

Jesse had made a stop before venturing to the cemetery. Along the bus route he had seen a floral shop. A block before he got off and decided to take a look around. Inside this simple store were a variety of flowers. The elderly sales lady helped him pick out two bouquets to put on the graves. He paid for them and thanked the woman. She kind of reminded him of Mrs. Wells.

Again he found himself waiting for the next bus. The final leg of his journey. He hoped like hell Chris would understand his need to do this. He mentally kicked himself for not leaving a note, but it kind of was a spur of the moment type of thing. Even though it had been planned in a weird sort of way. He wondered if his emotional state of mind not only involved making peace with his parents it also involved Chris in some way. Was this what they had meant by burying the past? Maybe he should have had Chris come along. He would have given him some space, and then comfort him when he needed it. Damn! I sure make a mess of these things. The hurt inside increased ten fold. His thoughts came to an abrupt halt as the bus driver yelled out the next stop. His stop.

A wave of emotion hit Chris hard. He had to put his coffee cup aside as he rode it out. Ah Jess. Without a doubt in his mind his son was hurting. He looked up and sure enough he saw Jesse enter the cemetery.

Although it had been five years, Jesse knew exactly which path to take to the graves. He didn't pay any attention to the sights and sounds about him. Lost in his misery he failed to notice the trees in full bloom and the birds which sang merrily. Squirrels chased each other up one tree and back down again. An array of floral abundance decorated many of the headstones within these hallowed grounds. Finally he stood in front of his destination and dropped down to his knees. Absent mindedly he pulled some weeds from around the headstone and brushed his fingers across the engraved names. There he placed the two bouquets on each of the graves. He had thought his grieving was done and over with, but in reality he had been waiting to see justice in the end. All of the emotions of yesteryear came bubbling to the surface. He didn't even bother to wipe the tears away as they began to fall in earnest. It felt as if he was burying them for the first time. In his collective memories he saw a young boy of ten, standing among others, next to two caskets waiting to be lowered into the ground. Yes he had cried then, but he held something back. This was the time he had been waiting for, a time to ask for forgiveness and to finally say goodbye.

Dad, I need you.

"I can't…believe how long it's been. It's still hard to believe you're both gone. Dad, I hope you can forgive me. I was so wrong that night. I now know you were just looking out for me. You knew of the danger, yet I couldn't see past my own feelings at the time. I've always been proud to be the son of Kevin and Tess Ryder. I'll never forget where I came from.

"My life has drastically changed, since then. Would you believe I managed to get myself adopted by another Team Leader in the ATF family. Kind of wild if you think about it. I hope you don't mind me taking his surname. I'm sure you'd understand and I'm sure you know Chris Larabee will do his best to continue raising me like you and mom did.

"He reminds me of you, dad. He doesn't let me get away with shit. Of course I tend to push him to the limits like I did with you." Jesse softly laughed. "And like you, he sees to it that I don't get too big for my britches. I know that bitch brought me and Larabee together, but I can't help but wonder if you might have had a hand in that turn of events as well. Her reasons were completely selfish. You, on the other hand, would have been looking out for me like a guardian angel. I'd rather believe that.

"I may not show it all the times, but I love my new dad. There's just times it's been hard to focus on the future when so much of my past stood in the way. Chris keeps telling me that I need to first forgive myself, then the healing process will begin. Maybe this is the beginning. Maybe this is what I needed to do all along. No matter what I will always be a Ryder, even though I now have accepted the Larabee name. Both families stand for justice, and I'm not about to break tradition. I will always love you. You'll remain in my heart until my last breath. You made me who I am today. Although I have begun a new life, I will never forget where my roots began. I will never forget you." He shakily stood, placed a hand on the headstone one last time, and then turned around to face the man he now called dad.

Jesse looked up at Chris through teary blurred eyes. His voice raw with emotion. "You came."

He opened his arms to his son, who gladly obliged him by stepping closer and embracing the man who loved him. "As long as there is a breath in me, I'll come when I'm called." He held his son close. He placed a kiss upon the top of Jesse's head. Thankful his son was safe. Chris rubbed Jesse's back as the teen sobbed against him. "I'll always be here for you Jess. I love you."

After awhile Jesse grew quiet. He didn't try to pull out of his father's embrace, he actually welcomed it. "Dad, do you think they heard me?"

"I'm sure they did." Chris said. He was mildly surprised Jesse didn't move yet.

"Thanks for being here. Did you follow me?"

He knew they would arrive at this point. Glad Jesse broached the subject first, showed he was accepting responsibility for his actions. Chris was extremely proud of him. "Once I discovered you were gone I called Shane and asked him. He mentioned a few possibilities as to where you might have gone. After putting that together and the way you've been acting I kind of went from there and he offered up some directions."

Jesse finally withdrew from their embrace. He scuffed his shoe on the ground before he tried to make amends. "I know I broke the number one rule, but…It was something I had to do…Not even you could help me with this…I mean I'm glad you're here. It's just that…at first…I couldn't see any way around what I had been feeling. The emotions were strong."

"I know son. I've been there myself. Before you came into my life I was still going through many emotional periods. You can ask the guys, they'll tell you I was a handful especially when the anniversary of…" Here is where Chris paused a little. "Sarah and Adams' passing came around. The nightmares would begin again like it was fresh and new. The wound kept festering and festering. I became one moody son of bitch each and every time."

Raking a hand through his hair, Chris continued. "You could say I got downright woolly. The whiskey bottle became my one and only friend. I wouldn't listen to reason or friends. However, those idiots stood by me no matter what I threw at them. Many times it was my fists. The damage that I wreaked within a week was devastating. I would feel even guiltier than I first did. A.J. was right. I suffered from a mean case of survivor's guilt."

A little more than curious, Jesse asked. "How did you get past it?"

He draped an arm over his son's shoulders. "This is the first year that I haven't escaped into the whiskey bottle. You could say I have had something else to keep me preoccupied." Jesse looked a little perplexed. "Don't tell me you can't figure it out?" Chris' eyes twinkled mysteriously. "It's you. You have made a difference in my life. Believe it or not this would've been a bad week for me."

Astonishment hit Jesse hard. "This is the week."

Chris affirmatively nodded. "If you wouldn't mind, when we get back I would like to visit a different cemetery."

"Sure dad. I'd like to meet Sarah and Adam." His dad pulled him back into a heartfelt hug."Thanks dad. I'm really sorry for pushing you away earlier. I knew you wanted to help, but at the time I didn't want it. I'm sorry I worried you."

"Are you ready to go home?"

"Now I am."

"Then let's go."

Chris kept one arm around Jesse's shoulder as they walked back to the car. "Dad?"

"Yeah."

"How much trouble am I in?"

"None."

End flashback

Chris looked frantically around for his son. "Ezra! He's not over there?"

"No sir!" The man shouted back. "I haven't seen him since Josiah joined the fracas!" Ezra pointed in the direction of the other boat. "Perhaps, you may want to check the interior of your boat?"

Buck swam over to where Vin and Chris were. "What's the problem, stud?"

"Have you seen Jesse?"

"Uh, no. J.D.!"

"Yeah, Buck!"

"Have you seen Jesse?"

The same dumbfounded look crossed J.D's features which only moments ago had been on Buck's.

Vin calmly placed a hand on Chris' shoulder to get his attention. "Quit yer fretting. I'm betting he's on the boat trying to put one over on ya."

His friend was probably right as his tensed gut relaxed slightly. A wicked grin graced Chris' features. "Let's play along then, shall we?"

"Oh this is gonna be good. Let's go get him, big dog."

Watching the three swim towards the supposedly unoccupied speed boat. Joe cupped his hands on each side of his mouth and hollered. "Jesse! Amigo! Quit your daydreaming and move it! You're in trouble now!"

Upon hearing his name, Jesse blinked a couple of times as Chris, Vin and Buck pulled themselves up out of the water and onto the back half of the boat. Jesse had been sitting on the floor of the boat out of sight until he and Chris' eyes met. Shit! The look in Chris' eyes brought Jesse to a standing position and he launched himself off the front of the boat.

He made one hell of a splash. Another splash followed close behind. By the time he came up he felt an arm encircle his waist and pull him in the opposite direction in which he intended to swim.

Amid much laughter from everyone present, Jesse heard a voice growl. "What were you trying to accomplish? Were you trying to pull one over on old dad here?"

He was trapped. Chris had a good hold on him. "Uh…Would you believe I was looking for my contact?"

"You don't wear contacts. Try again." Jesse squirmed in his clutches.

"Hey! That's not fair!" Laughter bubbled from Jesse's mouth in protest.

Chris was laughing as well. Tickling his kid underwater. "What's not fair?"

"Stop it!"

"Glad it's him and not me." Vin mumbled to Buck. Both were seated on the boat watching Chris exacting his revenge on his son.

"Alright, you win! Can't pull one over on you!" The tickling stopped and before Jesse could say another word in protest he was tossed into the air plunging back under the water. Spluttering once more as he broke the surface. "That was cruel."

"No, what you started was cruel. Had me worried there for a bit." Chris said matter of factly.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to let it go that far. Got lost in my own thoughts." An alternate form of payback was forming around Chris. All Jesse had to do was keep him talking. Vin clapped a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing aloud as he winked at Jesse. He and Buck slowly stood up and dove off of the back of the boat to join the fun.

"What were you thinking about?" Totally unaware of the sharks closing in on him, Chris rambled on.

Jesse did his best to keep the conversation going, although things got incredibly quiet as The Shark crept up on his intended victim. "Kansas City and home." He was sure the ghost of a smirk caused Chris' head to whip in the other direction or perhaps the lead shark got a hold of his victim Jesse wasn't quite sure. All he knew is he couldn't stop laughing for a long time after.

All six of Chris' men were in on it. Of course, none other than Tanner had instigated the entire take down. As soon as he grabbed Chris' leg under the water the rest of the wolves dog piled on the hapless leader.

They made sure they didn't drown him, but Chris could've sworn they almost succeeded a few times. "Payback's a bitch, ain't it Chris?"

"Tanner, I'm going to kill you."

"First ya gotta catch me."

"When you least expect it, I'll catch you."

Laughing good naturedly. "I look forward to it, cowboy."

Turning to his son. "Were you in on it?"

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't." Openly smirking as he said it.

"Admit it Chris, it was all in good fun. Ya didn't knowed what hit ya." Buck resumed his guffawing.

Ezra joined in flashing his gold tooth of a smile. "Oh, the look on your face was priceless and I've got the photo to prove it."

"Ezra, don't you dare!"

"Ya better look out Ez, the Larabee glare has ya in its sights."

"I think it should be placed right next to that other picture of his, wouldn't you agree gentlemen?"

They all nodded in complete agreement. Laughing loudly at Chris' expense.

The glare shifted back to Vin as Nathan announced. "Vin, that assumption of yours was dead on."

Did I miss something? What assumption? Chris pondered as he looked from Nathan to Vin.

"You may want to keep this in mind. We've all noticed whenever you and Jesse have a talk you become completely focused on him. You're oblivious to everything around you. I know Jesse was working hard to contain your focus, but even he knew how quiet it got just before Vin took you down."

Great. He would have to work on that. Bad enough his own men used it against him, what if some enemy took advantage of that in the future. Not going to happen. Chris resolved to fix that immediately. "Thanks for the tidbit. I'll work on that while I think of a way to get back at all of you."

"Well, boys, it looks like Chris has his work cut out for him. We've succeeded once again." Chris frowned at Josiah's statement. "Let's say we resume our fun and then head back to the cabin for our barbeque. We have more friends gathered to enjoy it with. By the way, wasn't Director Travis and his wife going to join us?"

"He mentioned they'd stop by for the barbeque and bonfire later."

Jesse and his boys let out a loud whoop and the fun began anew.

Regrettably time doesn't stand still and their week together although filled with abundant fun and good times had come to an end. The evening on the last day of their collective vacation, everyone present reminisced on all that had brought them together. Jesse and his group haven't had this much fun in ages. They had acted like the kids they were meant to be. Teenagers at the cusp of their young lives, teetering on the edge of adulthood. In less then a day, they would be thrust back into the lives that made them older than they had any right to be. Yet this time, they had a few more people determined to look after them in any way possible.

This was a new beginning for Jesse and Chris. The road ahead would still be quite bumpy for them, but their stubborn determination would see them through anything.

A/N: This may be the end of this story, but Jesse and The Magnificent Seven will ride again. Thanks to all who put this on their Favorites and Story Alerts. Also, a big THANK YOU to those who continued to give many reviews throughout the many chapters. My muse appreciated all of them.