SURPRISE, MOTHAFUCKAS! I AIN'T DEAD YET!

I did it, I finally finished it. "ABOUT TIME!", right? I know, I'm sorry, life isn't fair.

This story started back in May 2011. That makes it almost four years. Been a long ride, eh? I still can't believe how much love my idiot child has received in that time. You guys have been simply amazing, having faith and sticking around even when it seemed like the next chapter would never come out. I don't blame those who gave up at some point, heck, I was ready to give up at times. But then I came back to read your comments and realized that I couldn't just leave you guys hanging like that. You guys have given me more strength than you might be ready to believe. You're the best, never forget that.

Alas, the time has come. The last, but no less sincere than the rest, round of heartfelt thank yous:
celestialdimplez, anusin, sha5aditto, Mariohno (Thank you! If you ever find this fic again I hope you'll enjoy the last chapter as well!), C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only, Dimensional Roamer, rinoaterra, Okikagu Hardcore Shipper, Panda musume (ahahaha, sorry it took so long. Thank you so much and I hope you'll someday find and enjoy the last chapter as well!), Eden (...I'm sorry I ruined your hopes of finding an author who updates quite frequently...Thank you so much for your kind words, and I hope you'll someday find and enjoy the last chapter as well!), chinasadistxxx (Thank you! I'm sorry it took so long, and I'm also sorry to admit that any kind of citrus is impossible for me...I can't even write a kiss scene well...I hope you'll find and enjoy the last chapter as well, even if there is no citrus available!), Guest (I hope you'll recognize yourself. Thank you for your enthusiastic review, I'm sorry it took so long to update. I hope, if you ever find this fic again, that you'll find the last chapter as good as the previous ones!), X-Crimson Fate-X, Ryuuta (Thank you! At first Sougo had just accepted the fact that he couldn't get rid of her, but he was a little bit curious about her. Then it grew into something way more. I hope, if you're even reading this after so long, that this last chapter will satisfy you!), Fictitiouslove, Daniloveswriting, Twisty Emerald (Thanks for all the letters!), kaitothegreat, awesome-sadist, Alexia Colette, lanzky, Itherael, kazuki-chan018 (thank you so much! I'm really not that good, I have a long way to go yet. I have some ideas for OkiKagu fics, but unfortunately writing them down has become an issue, as you can see. I hope that, if you ever stumble across this fic again, that you'll enjoy the last chapter as well!), Yuu'Kata.211, Hikari Kashiwazaki, ChibiHyouka, SumiEvans, Haruka2016, korin-chan14, , haku-maiden, darkcherrypop, Guest (I hope you recognize yourself. Thank you so much, I'm sorry it took so long to update. If you're reading this, I hope you'll enjoy the last chapter as well!), soralove45, anon (the first Gintama fic? Wow, I'm honored, thank you so much! I'm sorry the update is so late, but I hope you'll read and enjoy this at some time!), El (teehee, I have to tease him a little bit at times! If you're reading this, I hope you'll enjoy the last chapter!), ma-chan-chan, Alert1, Guest (I'm taking a wild guess and say that those five reviews were left by you. Thank you so much! Your reviews were so lively they made me grin! If you're reading this I hope this last chapter doesn't disappoint you!), Jenchen (Really?! I'm so happy and honored, thank you! I don't even know what to say to answer your kind words. I just hope that, if you ever find this, you'll enjoy the last chapter as well!),loveanime1999, Guest (I hope you recognize yourself. Thank you! I hope this last chapter doesn't disappoint!), Nikkss (hey, another night-writer! Thank you for your kind words! I'm sorry to say that this is indeed the last chapter, I don't want to ruin the story by trying to add stuff that I would have to force my brain to come up with. This is how it was always supposed to end, more or less. All good things come to an end, now it's Error's turn. I hope you'll enjoy the last chapter, sorry it took so long!), LazyAssOtaku and Kimchi (Hi, I do remember you. You have a cute and easy to remember nick. To be honest, I was surprised by your letter. I rarely get reviews, or letters in this case, that are written with so much heart and honesty without walls. I have to admit that I both chuckled and cried when I read it. I felt so immensely happy, warm and grateful to have received your words. I do treasure my readers, that's the main reason I publish anything nowadays. I always answer in hopes of making someone smile or happy or just noticed. It makes me so happy to know that my words have made a difference to someone, no matter how small and insignificant in the long run it might be. Thank you. I think I know how you feel, I'm quite uncertain as to how I could convey this feeling to you in words. I think I could describe it as a hug, a really big, tight bearhug that gives a warm and fuzzy feeling inside but also makes you tear up because it's a farewell. Well, I sincerely hope it is not an eternal farewell. One thing I wish you to know is that words will always reach me. I will read every single review I ever get, no matter how far in the future they might come, and I will answer if I can. I won't forget the kindness and strength my readers have given me. And this letter will surely remain with me as the most unusual yet most touching review I have ever received. I want to end this letter with words of encouragement, even if I'm not too good at those. It seems like you already know how shitty life can sometimes feel, but I want to tell you that it'll be alright. Some hurdles in life can seem like you could never overcome them, but as long as you don't give in to the grim thoughts (as my grandpa called them) there will always be a tomorrow waiting for you. That's something I've learned with my own experiences. I'm glad to have been a part of your life, and I wish you all the luck in the world, I really do (a little movie reference, know where it's from?). Until our next meeting, take care).
This journey wouldn't have been possible without you guys!

I hope you guys enjoy this last chapter! Now, I usually don't do dedications or special stuff like that, but this time I'll have to make an exception. I'm making an exception because there was one reviewer whose letter to me a few weeks ago got me rolling again, slowly but surely. It's all thanks to this person that the last chapter of Error is here today. I don't know about phenomenal but, Kimchi, this one is for you.

Happily ever afters are complete BS and just another way to ruin children's sense of reality

The doors of Kagura's bridal chambers banged open and half a dozen maids marched in, their loud chorus of "Good morning, My Lady" making her jump out of bed in fright. Still half-asleep, Kagura looked at them wildly with her fists raised up and a mighty yell of: "You'll never take me alive!" coming out of her mouth slightly jumbled. She hadn't slept well at all, both because of wedding jitters and because she was sleeping alone (some stupid and illogical tradition, again, here to make her life difficult), and her sleep-deprived brain had serious trouble trying to catch up with the situation.

Otae stepped forward and bowed to her slightly. "My Lady, we have come to help you with your preparations for the ceremony."

Kagura blinked slowly and looked out the window. "...it isn't even dawn yet."

Otae merely smiled. "My Lady, there is much that needs to be done and time is of the essence. We have not a second to waste", she said and snapped her fingers. The maids behind her saluted. "So, shall we get started?"

Kagura really didn't like the smile on her face at that moment.

Contrary to popular belief, Sougo didn't end up with the longer stick. Sure, he was allowed to sleep until dawn, but unlike Kagura who was pampered (coughtorturedcough) and fed in the comfort of her room he was saddled with the part of entertaining their wedding guests. Most of them had already arrived during the past few days and they had to be tended to as well as those that would be arriving that morning. Breakfast, idle socializing, games, talk of politics, lame jokes, forced politeness: that had been his life since the first guest arrived and would fill his schedule until the ceremony at noon. Not Sougo's idea of an ideal morning. Especially since the Yato would be arriving in time to join him for breakfast. Oh joy. Don't get him wrong, he rather likes her relatives. It's simply the concept of eating with them that's not very high on his list.

And so, while Otae and her army of maids were busy curling Kagura's hair, Sougo welcomed the six representatives of his bride's clan.

"Welcome, members of the Yato clan. I'm glad to see you could join us on this day and give your blessings to our union", Sougo formally greeted his guests.

Umibouzu stepped forward and clasped the younger man's shoulder. "I have both longed for and dreaded this day, but I am proud to say my daughter has chosen well. While it is hard to let her go I know you will treat her as she deserves."

It might have been just his imagination, but Sougo could swear Umibouzu had just both accepted him and told him off for his mistake at the Yato party. Not sure how to respond, he nodded seriously and turned to face the other members, most of them being Kagura's cousins and one he recognized as her muted grandmother. Kaguya, was it? Sougo remembered the way Kagura had spent much of her time at the party with the old lady. They were obviously very close, so he was glad she had come. But then again, he could also spot one face whom he knew Kagura wouldn't appreciate attending all that much. Plus, there was one face he could not find.

"Will her brother not be joining us?" he bluntly asked Umibouzu as they started on their way to the dining hall for breakfast.

Umibouzu sighed and frowned deeply. "Unfortunately Kamui has gone missing. He up and left for an assignment around five weeks ago and there has been no sign nor word of him so far. I'm afraid he won't be here, much to Kagura's disappointment."

"No more! Stop, I'm begging you! Please let me go!" Kagura cried out pitifully.

"Please don't cry, Lady Kagura, you will smear your make up."

"I don't care! Just put an end to my misery already!"

Otae sighed from the sidelines. "My Lady, please, control yourself. I know that this is a big day for you and getting wedding jitters is absolutely acceptable, but-"

"Does this look like wedding jitters to you?! I'm telling you I can't breathe in this thing!"

"You can gather enough air to yell at us, so you are in no danger. You chose this dress yourself, so please bear with it."

"If I had known you would cut off my air supply I would've chosen something else", Kagura gasped out as the two maids gave one last pull on the strings at the back of her dress before tying them up. She had just fallen in love with the floor length dress with slight ruffles at the hem and neckline and some glittering beads adorning the front. But she had forgotten how tightly Otae insisted on tying up corsets...forget about gracefully walking down the aisle, she could hardly even breathe!

"My Lady Kagura, there are some visitors for you at the door. Would you meet them?" one of the younger maids informed as she hesitantly approached the bride.

Apparently someone had knocked on the door during her agony. Now all dressed up, Kagura stiffly turned around to face the door. "Sure, let them in."

The maid didn't even make it to the door as two figures let themselves in. Two ladies of very different ages dressed in their finest, one making her heart soar and the other causing her stomach to go and see whether it would be possible to reach the core of the Earth.

"Grandma Kaguya!" Kagura gleefully cheered as she struggled to waddle to the open arms of the old lady as quickly as possible.

Kaguya met her halfway and gave her a bone crushing hug with strength one wouldn't expect from such an old, thin lady. Her steel colored eyes twinkled as she pulled back and smiled at her grandchild with unveiled pride on her features. She then turned her gaze to the maids still in the room and waved them away. Kagura could see how Otae's eyebrow twitched at being ordered around, so she quickly intervened: "I want to speak with my relatives in private, so if you could all leave for now? I'll call you if I need you before the ceremony."

That somewhat pacified Otae, who bowed her head and lead the maid army out the door. As the doors shut, Kagura happily turned her full attention to her grandmother.

"I'm so happy you could make it, Grandma. This is a huge day for me and it means the world to me to have you here, especially since Mami..." her voice drifted off and she took a deep breath to keep the sudden longing at bay. Kaguya gave her a knowing look and patted her hand.

"Sakura would have been proud of you, little Kagura."

Kagura's mood immediately plummeted as the smooth voice of her mother's cousin sounded out the words Kaguya could no longer speak out loud. Kagura's eyes hardened as she turned to glare at the other woman who had come to visit her. "I don't remember inviting you, Sakuya. Who let you in?" she asked with as much venom as she could muster into her voice.

Sakuya seemed unfazed by the hostility. "Oh, you sent the invitation to the clan as one for the head and his entourage. I'm simply part of that entourage your father was able to gather. You know how busy everyone always is, especially now that spring has woken up all kinds of troublemakers after the winter", Sakuya lightly conversed as she sat down on one of the armchairs. Kagura was instantly pissed off (coughjealouscough) by how Sakuya seemed to fit right into it in her elegant green dress.

Kagura crossed her arms. "And why, may I ask, did you even want to come?" she asked. She knew she was lashing out, and she knew exactly why: the time the vixen had attempted to seduce her fiancé was still all too fresh in her mind.

Sakuya looked at her for a long moment in silence before her eyes turned ever so slightly downcast. "Is it so hard for you to believe that I come with honest feelings of happiness for you? I have no intentions of ruining your relationship, never had, and I apologize if my actions have made it seem so."

Kagura's hands curled into tight fists as she opened her mouth to yell at the woman sitting so casually in her bridal chambers, but a firm hand on her shoulder stopped her in mid-motion. Kagura turned to stare at her grandmother in utter confusion and not a small amount of betrayal, but only received a warning shake of the head from her. Kaguya then took both of Kagura's hands in her own and forced her fists to open and eventually relax. Then she smiled and gave them a reassuring squeeze before leading her over to where Sakuya had stood up from her chair. Kagura warily gazed up into those green eyes and decided to do what she did best.

Be blunt.

"Why did you try to seduce MY man at the party?" she demanded.

Sakuya looked honestly bemused by her question. "I wasn't trying to seduce him. I told him that as well."

Kagura bristled. "You liar! I saw how you were acting around him!"

Sakuya sighed, and if not for Kaguya's objection Kagura would've punched her. "No matter how many times I explain it to you you still won't believe me. That is my way of communicating and yes, it does cause misunderstandings quite often but really, Kagura, you are the only one whose insecurities keep you from believing my sincerety."

"I'm not -!"

"Yes, you are", Sakuya calmly cut her off. "You are insecure because your mother wasn't there to appreciate and guide you. Insecure because you were late to bloom and everyone else around you was getting engaged and married. Insecure because an environment like the House of Yato is clearly no place for someone like you who needs a level of consistency and many people close to her." At this point Sakuya smiled, and Kagura felt like it was the first time she saw it as real and not a coy mask. "That is exactly why I'm so happy Kamui was able to arrange things between you and the prince."

Kagura was stunned. Yes, she had been jealous of the beautiful and lady-like Sakuya who could easily converse with anyone and do jobs like a proper Yato, but had she really been so deep in her loathing that she couldn't accept another possibility? No one else disliked Sakuya as much as she always had. But still, years of dark feelings wouldn't disappear so fast, so she gave her mother's cousin one last wary look.

"You really aren't after Sougo?"

Sakuya laughed at her. "No, though I have to admit you have good taste. I'm a taken woman, and I don't think my intended would much appreciate it if I went after your man."

Kagura's eyes went as wide as saucers and she could hear her grandmother's breathy laughter. "You're engaged?! Since when?!"

"Oh, he wanted to keep it under wraps since your marriage was looming in the near future. Not many know of it even inside the clan. "

Kagura was stunned. "And just who -?" she started, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Yes?" she called out instead, still feeling quite out of it from the whole confrontation.

The door swung open and Umibouzu stepped in. "It is time, Kagura-chan."

Kaguya and Sakuya gave her some last encouragements before leaving the room and setting off for the church. Kagura did one last check on herself and turned to her waiting father.

"Papi?"

Umibouzu gazed steadily at her for a moment before bursting into tears. "You're so beautiful, my precious daughter! Just like your mother on the day we married! Ahhh, now I understand the agony her father went through! Sakura, is it alright if I won't let our little girl marry after all?! I do want grandchildren but maybe Kamui could -!"

Kagura efficiently shut up her yelling father by throwing her full length mirror at him.

"Are you done, baldie? I have a wedding procession waiting for me outside", she dryly commented and raised her skirts to step over her fallen father and into the hallway.

Umibouzu recovered and caught up with his daughter, offering his arm to her. Kagura took it and they walked for a while in silence.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Umibouzu asked as they came to the grand staircase and some servants, who were preparing the banquet, stopped working to bow and curtsy for them until they walked past.

Kagura slightly glared at him. "A little late for that, baldie. And yes, I love the bastard, so I doubt I would ever marry if it weren't him waiting at the end of the aisle."

Umibouzu smiled a slightly bittersweet smile at her. "I'm proud of you, Kagura. So is your mother."

Kagura swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled at her father the brightest smile she could muster. "I just wish she were here to see me. And give a nice left hook to the sadist at the banquet."

Umibouzu laughed at that. "Oh, don't worry, Kaguya has that covered! She is your maternal grandmother so that tradition falls on her anyway. Plus she quite eagerly volunteered when we discussed this after your engagement party. She's very excited to see you get married and produce heirs to her line."

Kagura blushed at that and quickly turned her eyes forward to escape his gaze. As the wedding procession came to view, though, something suddenly struck her.

"Papi?" she called with a small, confused voice. "Where's Kamui?"

Umibouzu's eyes turned dark with regret as he kissed her cheek and let her hand go so he could get to the church before her procession. He answered her question as gently as he could. "No one knows his current whereabouts. I'm sorry, but I don't think he's coming today."

Kagura couldn't help feeling utterly disappointed and hurt by the fact as she joined her procession and started the bridal march to the church.

As the bridal procession entered the church sprinkling white flowers everywhere and singing songs of the bride's coming, Sougo swept his gaze over the faces until he found his sister. Mitsuba had insisted on joining the procession despite her health still being a little unstable, but as he looked at her face, Sougo saw no signs of illness in her. Mitsuba's eyes were glassy with unshed tears as she sang her heart out and gave flowers to the children that had come. She had obviously chosen the part of the one who would bless the marriage with hopes and wishes for many healthy children. Sougo smiled at that. He knew Mitsuba had wanted children, especially after she had met Hijikata, and that she was overjoyed by the knowledge that her brother was finally getting married. She was radiant, and at that moment he was thankful to every god and deity that his sister was able to be there on this day.

As the procession finally settled down and took their places at the front singing a softer melody, she finally entered. Sougo swore he had never felt more love for the violent China monster than at the moment she took her first step into the church and lifted her shockingly blue eyes to meet his. She was so beautiful – and comical, how on earth could she even walk in that dress? – as she walked towards him, her lips turning up into that cute (don't you dare tell anyone he called it that) smile as she came closer. And he wondered, how had it all come to this? How was it possible that, despite all the initial hate, misunderstandings, heartbreak and innumerable insults and even broken bones, they were there, at that moment, the two of them. And he decided, as she was close enough for her to take his hand, that he didn't care. She was there, his sister was there, everything he wanted was in his grasp.

But it was all shattered with a crash of painted glass, screaming and panic, and in the confusion he could see as if in slow motion how she was pulled away from him, her hand still outstretched towards him and her wide eyes locked with his equally stunned ones. He reached for her, but time sped up, and she was far, getting further away from him with each footstep, and -

"KAGURA!"

'What's going on?' was the only question that Kagura could think of. She had been walking down the aisle, had forgotten all about her stupid brother the moment her eyes had found Sougo's. She had been so happy and warm and had just wanted to raise her skirts and run to him. Then, just as she was about to finally take his hand, there had been a crash and suddenly she was hefted over someone's shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carried off. Oh, and the sadist finally seemed to have learned her name. So maybe the situation wasn't all that bad.

Kagura snapped out of her thoughts as a tree branch slapped against her face. 'When did we enter a forest? Moreover, where the hell is this sucker trying to take me?!' Kagura began pounding her kidnapper's back with all her might and tried to wriggle around as much as she could to throw the bastard off balance. He (or at least Kagura was quite sure it was a he, unless the person had even smaller boobs than she did) paid no attention to her struggles and his step barely faltered under her efforts. She was getting quite desperate and contemplated biting him or ripping her dress to get more room for movement when he finally came to a stop. Kagura was beyond surprised when she was carefully put down and the kidnapper put his hands on her shoulders in a proud gesture. Forget about surprised, she was shocked. She knew this fucker. He was covered up from head to toe, but she would recognize those eyes anywhere, since they were the same as her own.

"I told you it was all going to be okay", he gloated and she just knew he was grinning under the wraps on his face.

"Kamui, you fucking asshat! The hell do you think you're doing?!" Kagura screeched at him. She threw his hands off of her shoulders and pushed him. "Crashing my wedding, what were you thinking?!"

Kamui whipped out a letter from his cloak. "You sent this to the old man not three days after you went back to the palace. ("You went through someone else's mail again?!") You sounded pretty miserable, so I decided to amend my mistake and took the first job possible to set out and plan your escape. Took some time to get everything settled and ready to go, so I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."

Kagura could only listen in stunned silence as Kamui prattled on about how he had planned out a great escape and had a new life and identity waiting for her in another country. Kamui had done all this for her? Kamui? Her supposedly heartless older brother had gone to the ends of the earth to construct a new life for her because he felt guilty about ruining her current one?

This day was just full of surprises.

Kagura shook her head and interrupted her brother's tale of how he had had to catch five crocodiles and a water buffalo to impress the chief of a village into giving him a hut for his sister. "Kamui, that letter is old news."

Kamui stopped talking and stared at her for a moment. He then cocked his head to the side. "Old news?"

"Really old news. We made up a couple of days after that and started planning the wedding."

Kamui was very silent.

"Everything is fine between Sougo and I."

"..."

"We love each other."

"..."

"And I really do want to marry him."

"...oh."

"It was very sweet of you to think of me like that. Just, never do that again, okay? It's giving me the creeps."

Kamui regarded her for a minute and let out a thoughtful hum. "I guess you want me to return you to the wedding, then?"

Kagura sighed tiredly. "Yes, I would appreciate that."

"Nah, I don't think I'll do that."

Kagura gaped at her brother. "What?!"

Kamui closed his eyes in the way that only happened when he had a shit eating grin on his face. "If he doesn't come after you himself, how am I supposed to believe he'll be the man I initially evaluated him to be? He has some worrying grades on his report card this year, so I want to give him a chance to redeem himself before next year."

"What are you, a grade school teacher?! This isn't a joke!"

"I'm not joking, I do have yearly report cards on him from the time he was twelve."

Kagura didn't know whether she was feeling more exasperated or creeped out by her brother. "This is ridiculous!"

"I agree."

Kagura whipped around to face the murderous demon (err, her groom) that was forcing his way through the undergrowth towards them. Sougo's eyes were positively red and his glare was locked on Kamui. 'Wait, does he realize it's Kamui?'

"Sougo, this is -"

"You're unhurt?"

Kagura was taken aback by the way he was acting. Why was he still stalking closer like that? "I'm alright, but -"

"Good, then I'll spare him the torture and simply end his life."

Kagura felt a cold shiver race down her back. He was serious. This was nothing like that time at the duel or at any other moment she had witnessed him in. This Sougo was going to kill her brother in cold blood, no questions asked, no hesitation. He was emitting pure blood lust.

And Kamui, being Kamui, could sense that. Kagura could only watch in horror as her brother's eyes took on the same glint that she could see in Sougo's eyes. Kamui always loved challenges, he enjoyed strong opponents, and he enjoyed killing them.

As the two faced each other and prepared to strike Kagura knew she had no choice. They would kill each other. She only hoped they could find the sense to stop in time.

Just as they sprung forward, Kagura leaped in-between them, spread her arms and screamed: "STOP!"

What happened next was utterly anti-climatic. Sougo was so shocked he dropped his sword and collided face first with Kagura, sending them both down to the ground in a painful heap, and Sakuya came flying out of the trees and kicked Kamui to the side of his head, sending him flying into a tree trunk.

Kagura tried to blink her vision clear enough to see what had happened when she registered the new addition to the scene. "Sakuya? What are you doing here?"

Sakuya kept her dull green eyes on the fallen form of Kamui and her face was eerily neutral. Instead of answering Kagura's question she started what seemed to be a confession: "I don't know how much you know of his plan, but I can tell you that most of the things in your life this past year has been all in it more or less. I assume he didn't expect His Majesty to leave you behind at the party, but everything before that was happening in the palm of his hand. He even knew of Her Majesty's collapse before anyone else and had me help him put you two in a tight spot. He knew you would blow up in jealousy if I so much as greeted your fiancé."

Sougo disentangled himself from a stunned Kagura and slowly stood up. "A plan? What are you talking about?"

"What I mean to say is that this hare-brained battle maniac thought he could orchestrate your marriage to become what he believed would be perfect for little Kagura here. He was also concerned about whether the infamous woman-hater SM prince could find anyone to marry either."

Sougo's eyebrow twitched a little at that. "Then how did you manage to arrive here at the exact moment you did?"

Sakuya shrugged, the most unlady-like gesture Kagura had ever seen her make. "The moment this moron chose an unbelievably easy mission far from here I knew he was up to something. An anonymous person crashing a royal wedding seems just like something he would do, so as soon as Your Majesty took off I followed you."

Sakuya walked over to Kamui and smoothly kicked him over onto his stomach so she could sit on him comfortably. Kagura was flabbergasted by the way she was treating the killing machine most of their own clan was wary to anger.

"I do apologize for this dimwit's behavior, little Kagura, Your Highness. He doesn't have much gifts in the thinking area", Sakuya said with an exasperated smile.

Kagura was still staring with an open mouth as Sougo pulled her to her feet and checked her for injuries. "W-why would you..."

"I think I understand the situation a little better now", Sougo commented as he turned his gaze from his bride to the prone form of Kamui and then to an apologetic looking Sakuya. "I never want to know how you two ended up together."

Kagura whipped her head around to stare at Sougo. "What?! So that would mean that Sakuya is engaged to KAMUI?!"

Sakuya's smile turned into the usual sly look that was natural for her. "Yes, he insisted that he wouldn't make it official until his sister was married off. Said that it would just make you depressed and even more pitiable if even he could find someone before you did."

Well, nice to know her brother had faith in her.

Kagura heaved a heavy sigh and leaned on Sougo. "I don't understand anything anymore. This day has been too much. I was supposed to just get married and get a happily ever after...though I guess I lost that one the moment the sadist came into the picture."

"I'm going to drop you", Sougo threatened.

"No you aren't, I'm cute, you love me and I'm pregnant."

A little bird chirped on a tree branch to fill the silence that had settled among the humans. The first one to react was actually Kamui, who sprang up with enough force to knock Sakuya to the ground.

"You're WHAT?! With whose baby?!"

Kagura could feel the veins in her forehead popping. "Whose do you think it is?!"

In a blink of an eye Sougo had grabbed Kamui by the scruff of his cloak and pulled him threateningly face to face. "If something has happened to my child because of your rough handling of my wife, you can be sure I will use every single method I know to make your life hell."

And Kamui just had to be a smart ass. "Actually, you never went through with the ceremony, so she isn't your wife yet."

"Before you guys begin a fight that I risked two lives to prevent", Kagura yelled over the two's growling, "I would very much like to get married and out of this dirty dress. I have a banquet to attend and I'm not going to miss out on all that food because you two brothers by marriage get along so swimmingly."

Sougo was on his feet in a second and lifted Kagura into his arms. Ignoring her protests, he started leading the way back through the forest with the other two following, Sakuya smacking Kamui in the back of the head for getting her dress dirty.

"Are you feeling okay? You're sure you don't want to see a doctor?"

Kagura felt her irritation rise fairly quickly as they danced among the other couples. Everyone had been pacified by the poorest explanation ever ("This is a tradition I learned on my latest job. It includes someone stealing the bride and then the groom has to pass some test to earn the right to actually marry her. I thought it would be interesting.") and the wedding had ended without further problems. They had changed into clean clothes and the banquet had been going on for hours since then. And all that time Sougo had been pestering her about her condition.

"Sougo, for the last time before I'll roundhouse kick you through a window, I'm fine. Stop asking already", she hissed at him as he lightly twirled them around to avoid crashing into Umibouzu and Kaguya.

"I know you're tough, but the early stages of pregnancy are delicate. That's my child you're carrying so I'm entitled to care for its well being", Sougo countered in his usual deadpan tone.

"If it's going to be like this for the next seven or so months I'm going to end up killing you somewhere along the way", Kagura darkly grumbled.

"You wouldn't."

"You sound so sure."

"Because you would be heartbroken if I actually wasn't here and we both know it."

Kagura had no comeback for that so she stubbornly turned her face away. She could feel the chuckle vibrating in his chest even though it was too quiet for her to hear. Suddenly he pulled away from her slightly.

"Come", he simply said and lead her out of the banquet hall and eventually outside. Kagura was reminded of another night that seemed so long ago and without much thought kicked off her shoes and grabbed them in her hand. They walked in the night alone, always farther from the celebrating until they could no longer hear it at all. Kagura smiled as she realized where they were going and pranced ahead.

She came to a stop under the leaves of one particular tree that had been there since the beginning. Without really realizing it her free hand rose to rest on her stomach where a life blessed by the spirit was growing strong and healthy. A pair of hands came to rest on her stomach as well and she turned around in his arms to face him properly. It was one of those moments in time when you knew what the other was thinking without really saying anything.

"You know, Mitsuba-san said that this is what you were thinking of since the beginning", Kagura teased with an evil smirk.

Sougo didn't even bat an eye as he answered: "Well, I would've needed an heir anyway and I was stuck with you 'til kingdom come so I had little choice."

Kagura scowled at that and got ready to hit him with her free hand when it was suddenly grabbed by one of his. He swiftly took the shoes and threw them out of reach. Kagura glared at him and he smirked back.

"I learn from experience", he gloated before his smirk faded away. "This time it will go my way."

Kagura's question died in her throat as he lowered his forehead on hers, locking gazes with her and leaving her no escape route.

"It has to be you. No one else will do anymore."

Kagura was hit by the strongest sense of deja vu. This had happened before. But now she understood. His eyes, that smoldering, dark, possessive look in his eyes, the feelings it raised in her. He had expressed it all that night, and now he wanted an answer. Well, she sure would give him one. After all, she wanted him, she loved him, and now she had him.

"Of course. I'm the only one who can put up with your shit and still be able to look at your face day after day", she smirked, willing her eyes to convey just how much more she meant.

"And I'm willing to bet no one else could take your domestic violence and still want to share the rest of his days with you", he smirked back, and the spark in his own eyes let her know that he did get her message.

And as their lips met in a way they would many times more before the end of their days, she knew her childhood dreams of marriage were ruined. But reality was just that much more interesting than silly fairy tales.

FINISHED! And you got your love confessions and kisses and mushy mushy OkiKagu fluff! You'd better be happy!

Oh gods, it's really over now. Thank you for your patience and all the kind words I've received these past almost four years. I hope to meet you again one day!

Over and out.

~poakkis

PS. If you're wondering when Sougo managed to get Kagura pregnant, just a reminder: they do share a bed. At least most of the time. In their culture it's acceptable, almost expected, to indulge in sex during the engagement period. Plus they acknowledged their feelings for each other almost three months before the wedding. Go figure. I can't write citrus, so I'm not writing the scene no matter how much you might beg.