Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed.

A/N: Cagalli is a little OOC here but I hope you would still give my story a chance and read it. No flames please. Please respect that this is my story. Constructive criticism is accepted. Thank you in advance for reading!

Dear diary,

This is my horrific attempt in trying to write. My ex-therapist (bless her soul) recommended me to keep a diary. I currently don't have a therapist after my last one died in a fire. Yes, I know it's tragic... So where shall I start? Ok, I am Cagalli Yula Athha, age twenty-one this year. I live in a penthouse in the city and I got a job in Clyne Models (a.k.a. the top modelling agency in the world). My hobbies are partying and dancing. Well, this practically sums up my life story. I mean, what more is there to tell? Oh right. Family. I forgot. In my defense, it's quite easy to forget family especially if you don't have one. My father died three years ago of cancer. My mother is basically non-existent. My parents divorced when I was even too young to remember. And I've never seen my mother since. You don't have to feel pity for me or anything. I bear no grudges or harbour ill-feelings for the woman. Honestly, I feel nothing at all. That was what scared my father though. That's why I had therapy since six. Speaking of which, I better start looking for a new therapist. I think I'll stop here for now.

Yours truly,

Cagalli

Chapter 1

It was around ten in the night as I made my way around downtown Orb in a blue strapless taffeta cocktail dress. I was going to meet Meyrin at Club Duel, a newly opened nightclub in town. I finally spotted the magenta coloured hair girl in the middle of a long queue that could very well go down to the next avenue. Meyrin was waving at me to get my attention. I walked over to her only to pull her out of the queue. Then I walked with her straight to the entrance, ignoring the looks the people in the queue gave us. I gave my brightest smile as the bouncer greeted us.

"Hey Cagalli," the bouncer whose name I had forgotten smiled back. That was one of the pluses working for Clyne Models. You get special treatment. Of course not to mention the fact that I was the daughter of the ex-governor of Orb.

I walked into the club with Meyrin. It was jam packed with people. Somehow, Meyrin and I managed to make our way to the bar. It wasn't long before the bartender walked over to us with a glass of martini.

"Complements from the gentleman over there," he told me as he gestured to a young man seated at the opposite end of the bar. And there began the little game Meyrin and I often play. She gave me a grin as she hopped off the stool, looking for her targets. I picked up the glass and raised it to toast to the man who just bought me a drink. I smiled at him as I took a few sips. Then, putting the glass back on the counter, I took the little stick that came along with the drink and walked off.

I wasn't really sure how much time had passed when Meyrin caught up with me again. She dropped a hand full of sticks on the table. I smiled at her as I placed my owns sticks on the table.

"I guess we're tied tonight," I said.

"Oh please," she rolled her eyes at me. "You weren't even trying."

I smiled again at her. "Come on! Let's dance!" I urged her to the dance floor.

I was in lala land. And I was sure of that because I found myself back in high school. I was up on the board with a marker in hand. It was chemistry class and I was apprently called to draw the structure of a phenol. A benzene ring- a hexagon with a circle in the middle- was already drawn out and all that was left for me to do was to attach an 'OH' branch. It was simple enough though the teacher was hurrying me. As I held the marker to draw the final branch out, the benzene ring moved! I tried again and again, but I couldn't draw because the incomplete organic structure on the board wouldn't stop moving.

"Miss Athha," the teacher was getting impatient.

I was cursing by then. Couldn't she see that I was having a tiny problem? It did not seem apparent to her and I wanted to yell at her. All of a sudden, everything moved in slow motion. I could see the teacher's mouth open really slowly to call my name again. But it wasn't her voice this time I heard. It was a ringing sound. I blinked once, trying to figure out what was happening.

It wasn't long before I opened my eyes for real and stared at the painted sky blue celing. The telephone was ringing. I picked up the cordless receiver placed on my bedside table.

"Hello?" I mumbled.

"Miss Athha?" I recognised the voice as the guard downstairs in the lobby. As usual, I just couldn't remember his name.

"Yes?" I answered in a throaty voice.

"There's a man named La Flaga from the social service department here to see you. Shall I send him up?" he asked.

Social service department? Why would they want me? I sat back upright on my bed.

"Miss Athha?" he spoke.

"Umm, send him up in ten minutes," I replied. I was in no state to meet anyone just yet. I was still clad in last night's dress and reeked a little of alcohol. It was a good thing that I had not drunk as much in the night before. Otherwise I would have a terrible hangover now.

"No problem Miss Athha," he said before the line went dead.

Stumbling into my bathroom in a hurry, I rushed to get ready. Ten minutes later, my visitor had arrived.

"Miss Cagalli Yula Athha?" a blonde man spoke when I opened the front door.

"Yes and you must be Mr La Flaga," I said.

"Yup, but just call me Mu," the blonde man said.

"Just call me Cagalli," I smiled as I invited him inside the penthouse.

"You're place is amazing," Mu commented as he sat down comfortably on the couch. I couldn't agree more. The marble flooring... The bricked fireplace... The Brazilian rosewood bar... Everything was put together just right with parchment panels framed with the rosewood to match.

"Thank you," I said, and then offering him some coffee.

"I'm from the social service department," Mu started.

I nodded my head as I let the man continue.

"Do you by any chance know a Kira Yamato?" Mu asked.

"No. Why?" I asked back puzzled.

Mu took a deep breath before explaining. "He's your half brother."

Your half brother... half brother... brother... These words kept on repeating themselves to me.

"What?" I said flatly.

"Via Hibiki, your mother, was his mother too," Mu explained patiently.

"Oh," I said, not knowing how to respond. I never expcted anything like this. But I also had a lingering feeling. Did he just use the past tense?

"Was?" I questioned.

"Yes. Via Hibiki died six years ago in child birth. A year later, her husband Mr Yamato died in a car accident. They left their son, Kira, behind," Mu told me.

Ok, I had a little bit of information overload. I learnt that my mother was dead and that I have a long lost brother all in one day. Alright, it's half brother. We're only related through our mother. And why was this guy only telling it to me now? I mean, it sounds as if... No... I think I've been watching too much soap operas.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Mu continued.

It's alright, I nearly wanted to say but caught myself on time. I mean, how can it be alright? My mother had passed away. It was almost scary that I felt nothing of grief. Was I losing my humanity? To tell you the truth, I don't have much feelings. Of course, I reasoned with myself that the loss of my mother had not fully sank in yet. Yes, I do feel sad. But it was a different sadness from when father died. Again I could reason that I probably wasn't as attached to her.

"You're Kira's only living relative," Mu broke me from my train of thoughts.

Oh gosh. I somehow knew what he was about to say next and I beat him to it. "So let me guess," I said. "I have to take care of him?"

"Well..." Mu said.

Oh you had got to be kidding me. My life was like a soap opera.

"What happened to the other people who took care of him after his parents died?" I asked. Don't tell me they died too? I didn't say that one outloud.

"No," Mu replied. "Before you, he had no other relatives. He was thrown between foster care and orphanage," he said sadly.

"Then why can't he stay in foster care?" I asked.

"Though Orb is one of the most advanced countries, we have a terrible orphanage and foster care system. He'll be better off with you. You're his only family. It took us a really long time to find you, years in fact. The system was really bad... Papers were lost... Children were abused... It was a miracle that we managed to find you."

I kept quiet. What should I tell him? Surely I need not give my answer straight away?

"I know it's a big decision. You'll probably need some time to sort things out. I'll contact you again in a few days," he said as he stood up.

I stood up too and in silence, walked him to the front door.

"It's your call," he said before he left.

Shiho showed up at my door step with three big bags full of ice cream. She had called me not too long ago saying that she needed company. It seemed that we both had our own share of problems. I took two spoons from the kitchen drawer and then brought two of the giant tubs of ice cream with me into the living room while Shiho stored the rest of the ice cream in the fridge. She then joined me on the couch as we began our misery session. That was how we- meaning Shiho and I, excluding Meryrin- drown out our sorrows. We don't flood ourselves with alcohol but instead pig out on tubs and tubs of ice cream.

"So what happened to you?" I asked Shiho first before stuffing a spoon full of ice cream into my mouth.

Waving her spoon in the air, she replied. "Oh nothing much actually," she said matter-of-factly. "My parents just happily decided on their own that they shoud interfere with my life and condemn me to a marriage of convenience."

"Oh... So what are you going to do? Any plans whatsoever?" I asked, a bit wary that Shiho was rather calm. I expected her to throw a fit especially that she was thrown into an arranged marriage. Shiho never thought well of arranged marriages. She always refered to them as 'a marriage of convinence', which is of course another term for an arranged marriage.

"Not really... I mean, it's not as if I can defy my parents..."

Again I was taken by surprise. This was not the Shiho I knew. The old Shiho would fight back and get things done her way.

"So enough about me," she continued. "What happened to you?"

"So what did I miss?" Meyrin came bursting through the living room. She gave a disgusted face when she saw the empty tubs of ice cream piled up on the coffee table. "You guys should definitely find something else to do," she said. "What happened to you two anyway?"

We told Meyrin about Shiho's problem first.

"So? Tell me!" Meyrin demanded. "Is he hot? Is he rich?" she asked excitedly.

We expected that of Meyrin of course, we trust Meyrin to be dreaming of hooking up with a rich and hot bachelor everyday of her life.

"As a matter of fact, you are half right Meyrin," Shiho replied. "I heard that he is some wealthy old geezer. Not very good looking but rich enough to meet your standards."

Meyrin gaped at Shiho and I chuckled a bit. Meyrin looked back at me for any confirmation that Shiho was lying and I shook my head and laughed at her naivity. Seriously, Shiho's parents are not that bad people. They would obviously choose a decent guy for Shiho at least.

We told Meyrin my problem next. Meyrin was not the least bit supportive. She was totally not into the idea of me taking my half-brother in.

"Obviously Cagalli, you have no experience with children. I had to take care of my boss's children and believe me, it was a nightmare!" Meryrin exclaimed.

"Oh please Meyrin," Shiho interupted. "You sound as if you had to take care of them for days when the truth is that you only had to watch them for fifteen minutes," Shiho rolled her eyes.

Ignoring Shiho, Meyrin continued, "Do not be fooled by the angelic faces they give you because behind all that are hideous little monsters waiting to come out!"

"He's her brother for goodness sake!" Shiho said exasperated. "It's easier said than done for Cagalli to leave him in the lurch."

"So she's really going to take care of him?"

Meyrin and Shiho continued their argument for one hour. The way Meyrin saw it, my life would basically be over if I take Kira in. Shiho on the other hand thought I would be better off with family.

I sighed. I still had a few days left to make the decision, the decision that would change my life forever.

I think I had lost it. I called Mu and told him that I would be taking Kira in. I didn't think I was in the right state of mind when I made that call. It was probably due to my overdose of cold syrup the night before. It's too late now. I was already here. Mu asked me ten times if I was sure of doing it and I said yes all ten times. But it wouldn't be that bad right? Taking Kira in I mean. It's just like taking care of a pet right? Goldie, my pet gold fish, was still alive and swimming after all these years.

I felt a cool gentle breeze as I stood outside a dilapidated house. Some of the windows were broken and the roof looked like it was in need of repairs. I couldn't help wonder what happens when it rained. The people did not seem to have drowned inside.

I looked around at the unkept garden. The grass were all uneven and the tallest of them reached up to my knees. There were no happy children running and playing about in the garden as I had seen on TV. Suddenly, something caught my attention. I saw a young boy with unruly brown hair staring out of the small attic window. He wasn't looking at me and I doubt he even noticed my presence, he seemed to be looking at a distance far away. I wondered if all the children were like that. He looked sad and forlorn.

Taking a deep breath, I walked up to the door and pressed the bell. This was it. There was no turning back. The door opened. It was Mu who greeted me at the door.

"Hey Cagalli, I'm so glad to see you," he said. "Come in!"

The inside of the house wasn't as bad as it looked on the outside. Mu led me to the living room where the patched up couches were in the middle. The rusty old fan at the side was the only source of comfort from the blistering heat. I wondered how the people survived in here. Where was the aircon?

"Tea?" Mu asked me.

I looked at the cup he offered me. It had some sort of stain but I took it anyway and took a quick sip. I had no idea what tea he gave me- it was bitter but it had a sweet smell. I was never a tea expert- the only tea I drink was ice lemon tea. I was more of a latte, Starbucks person.

"Here are the papers," he handed me a brown envelope and a pen. I only had one piece of paper to sign though I had expected an inch thick of them.

"You don't live here, do you?" I asked Mu. The place was seriously pathetic. I couldn't even imagine living here.

"No, but I'm not much better off either. We social workers don't get paid very well," he replied.

"That's very noble of you to choose this profession then," I told him.

He gave me a smile. "It's very rewarding when you see the smiles and happy faces of the children. Hey, do you want to look around this place? You'll be able to see the other children," he asked me.

"Sure, why not," I replied.

Mu then led me out to the backyard. There, I saw the truths in the words of Meyrin. It was a battlefield out here. Children, or should I say little monsters, were dashing about screaming their lungs out that my ears were starting to hurt. Some were pouncing on each other and biting each other's head off. There was also a violent game of tug-of-war going on. The children were fighting over a rag doll which if you asked me looked like the chew toy of Pumpkin (Meyrin's dog).

"Alright kids that's enough! Behave yourselves, we have a guest here!" Mu hollered after them. In the back of my mind, I was hoping Kira was not one of them. They were mad animals on the loose.

"Kira's not here! I'll go find him as soon as I stop these children from killing one another!" Mu shouted over the loud cries of the children while attempting to pluck the children off each others back. I had a sigh of relief when I found out that Kira wasn't one of the children on the loose. That means I still had a chance of surviving after all.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" a woman who looked worse than Nanny McPhee roared. She had a giant mole on her face and had a deadly aura surrounding her. She was not one to be messed with. Sure enough, the children all hushed down.

"Miss Athha," the scary woman said. "This is Kira." She stepped aside so that I could see the boy hiding behind her. A familiar brunette came into view and realisation struck me. He was the boy I first saw. Great, I got the gloomy depressed one.

"Err... Umm... Hi!" I looked at him, gave a small smile and waved. I was actually nervous and I didn't know why. After a light nudge, Kira stepped forward towards me, but he still wouldn't look me in the eye. He looked scared or nervous, I'm not entirely sure.

"Err, are you ready? Shall we go?" I asked him, not sure of what else to say or do in awkward situations. "Oh right, umm... I'm Cagalli," I said suddenly feeling stupid for forgetting to introduce myself. "I'm your sister, if you don't know that already," I mumbled.

We got into my red convertible. Kira didn't have much things to take with him. What few clothes and possessions he had all fitted inside a small paper bag. I reminded myself to make a quick stop at the mall later on to buy him some decent clothing, one that actually fitted him.

The other children were gathered around my car, looking in awe and some envy.

"Wow, it's so shiny!" said one.

"Kira's so lucky! I wish I have someone rich to take me away from this place too!" said another.

"ALRIGHT KIDS! STEP AWAY FROM THE CAR!" Nanny McPhee hollered. Her name really was McPhee, I just added the word 'Nanny' in front.

This was it. This was not how I imagined a perfect life to be.

To be continued.