Hardcore

He sleeps with it

Once I had viewed the Panda with disgust. I never believed that someone like him could be the Dragon Warrior. It couldn't be as a matter of fact. This huge oaf was in no way fit for walk through the countryside, much less be the protector of China. I hated him, a small part of me still does. It's very difficult to live with his boorish habits and horrible timing. He tries too hard sometimes, but

I do too

I was never directly angry at Po for being the Dragon Warrior. I was angry because I had spent my whole life training, doing everything I possibly could to become the greatest warrior China has ever known. Before I knew it, I had become famous, there were citizens always asking to for autographs and portraits. But I never cared, never. I was way too busy. Training every day, first general sparring techniques, then advanced defense followed by ferocious offense. I trained and trained until I felt no pain. I didn't want to be able to feel again,

But why?

I can't even remember. I myself always thought that the less I felt, the less it would hurt. I…I guess I always knew that I would never be the Dragon Warrior. I had told myself that I was, and father trained me all my life to do so. There it is, the word that could describe my entire life "training". My entire life had been a huge training session leading up to the very day Po dropped from the sky. I was prepared physically, but that was all. There was no mental preparation for disappointment, no amount of meditation could satiate the raw anger I felt that day. I was never prepared to feel. I wasn't prepared, why father? The answer is obvious. Because I held onto the hope that I would one day make my father proud and earn his affection by becoming the Dragon Warrior. I had hoped that this title would destroy the wall Shifu built to surround his heart. All hopes and wasted dreams. When Po fell from the sky, so did my world as I knew it. Gone were the days when I could clearly anticipate every move and all my attacks were successful. But it was like I said, part of me did know that I wouldn't become the Dragon Warrior, because the only reason I did it was to gain Father's affection. It was selfish, similar to Thai Lung, which I am ashamed of now looking back.

Looking at Po was like looking at all her shattered dreams at once. What made me angrier was the fact that it was almost impossible to be angry at him. No matter what, he always tries to make me…us smile. I didn't want to be happy, I had lost any chance of having a real father.

I just wanted to see him smile.

Ha, I have daddy issues, who would'a thought. But instead of sleeping with slews of men I decided to try and beat one into submission. That was my greatest sin. It's low to do this to just about anybody, but even worse to do this to someone who admires you as a hero. I wanted him gone so badly, treated him like slime just to get him to break. He doesn't think I saw the way he looked at me, the chunk he collected off the floor, the numerous posters he has, and the doll. I saw all of it, and used it to my advantage, hoping that his hero hating him would make his departure more expedient. It didn't work. I unknowingly contributed to the mental anguish of the panda. It was horrifying hearing his words to Father. "It was better than just being me" Those were the words that set me off. This was my mess, I would help fix it. I may not have believed he was the Dragon Warrior, but I knew that I had caused so much pain in a person she was supposed to protect. What was worst in my opinion was that I had given blows that I would have never been able to block myself. I needed to make it up to him somehow.

When Po stood there victorious, there was this change in everyone. However, I was the one who didn't believe in him even when my father did, therefore I knew that I had to be the first. I wasn't sure what at the time, but I had to do something to apologize, but I couldn't in front of the entire population of the Valley Of Peace. I called him master, and I immediately knew that it was enough. The look in his eyes, though brief, said it all.

But I still never said sorry, and I still haven't opened up to anyone yet. Well, except just recently, I told Po about the trees, I've never told anyone, even Father, about that. I'm not sure why I did, no I know exactly why I did. He pays attention to me, he tries to talk to me, and he's proud just to say he's my friend. Everything I always longed for, I find in Po.

I love him

It's really simple, but so complicated for me. Hardcore; he says I can't feel anything. He's wrong, the hardcore can feel, I love you, is that feeling enough. But, I don't know if I'll ever be able to say those words. I have trained all my life physically and mentally, but not emotionally. I miss the emotional connection all the others have, I long for it every day of my life. I wish that I were strong enough to bare my emotions to him, but I don't think I'll ever be that strong. I only wish I could be like the Tigress doll Po currently holds, its arms outstretched as if hugging him. One day I will find that strength, one day. For now though, I can only connect with him physically. That is why, until I am ready, I will spar with Po because this is the only way I know how to connect with people, this is how I say "I love you"

A/N: I'm not sure why, this literally came to me at 1 in the morning and I turned it into a sloppy oneshot. Anyways I'm get hints that Tigress actually is Po's favorite because of the Love Chunk he picks up, and the "You got scratches on my Tigress" comment he makes. I just also kinda thought that since she's female, and his hero, he would have a crush to start. Then as we get into the second movie, you see that she might have feelings for him. It's a lot of speculation, but it makes for really interesting introspectives.