Title: Military Moments
Fandom: Penguins of Madagascar
Characters: Titular Penguins
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'll give them back clean and de-humanized when I'm done, mm-kay?
Rating: T/PG-13
Warnings: AU, Humanized, slightly strong language, dark in spots, violence, threats, slashy spots
Summary: snippets in the "Moments" verse, but set to the Military Alphabet. HumanAU.
Author's note: set in the main "Moments" verse, but on the more military side of things. So, this is just missions and the various happenings during them. Oh, and Rico has no sense of direction once you get him going and out of NYC. It's his fault they keep getting lost. In Charlie, 'Charlie' is Kowalski and 'Nick' is Private.

Alpha

"Alpha Formation. Move out, men. Blowhole has to be stopped."

Beta

"Beta sector filled with bogies, and they're closing in fast, Skipper."

"Then we take them down."

Charlie

"'ello Charlie." Charlie looked up and stared at the young man addressing him. "Whatcha workin' on?" the young man asked, peering over Charlie's shoulder at some blueprints. "What're those for?"

"Listen Nick, I'm busy. I'll talk to you later, mmkay?" To nearly everyone around them, it sounded like they were brothers having a small argument. But it was carefully coded text that went over the heads all but the two.

Delta

"Rico, I'm not even going to ask how we ended up in the Nile Delta. From now on, you're not flying the plane."

Echo

There was a faint echo every time Kowalski took a step. The concrete bunker was far too quiet for his tastes. Warily casting an eye about him, Kowalski gently picked a lock, entering a room with the information he needed. Once he gathered the information he needed, Kowalski silently left the room, locking the door behind him.

Foxtrot

Foxtrot was a bad password for the Rats to choose. It was almost as bad as the time they chose swordfish.

Golf

It was quite annoying, the day that they had to play mini-golf to save their skins. The only one who was any good was Private, and he bitched the whole time.

Hotel

The motel they entered was dark, dingy and all around horrible. None of the particularly cared because they were that exhausted from a bad mission and they all promptly fell asleep in various positions and spots.

India

Deep in the heart of India, Hans stalked his prey. Miles from civilization, he found his quarry. Waiting until after dark, Hans sneaked up and into the building.

"Dr. Nathan Blowhole, you are under arrest for crimes against humanity, violating the Geneva Convention, and other various atrocities. Anything you say will be used against you." Hans handcuffed a startled Blowhole, who was completely unaware that a temporary ally was working against him and several others. In his mind, Blowhole promised revenge.

Juliet

"K'walski, why do I have to do this, again?" Private asked, fidgeting nervously as Kowalski pulled back to look at his handiwork.

Leaning back in, Kowalski replied, "Because we needed a girl on this mission and you're the only one that fits in the dress. Now stop moving, you'll make me smudge your makeup." Skipper stepped over to watch Kowalski make over the youngest teammate.

When Kowalski was finished, he said, "Kowalski, alias portfolio." Silently pulling out the right paper, Skipper continued, "Your name is Juliet McFlinn. You were born somewhere near Wales, but moved to London proper when you were two. You're here to study art and you're meeting a friend in the bar." Skipper narrowed his eyes. "Do you understand?"

"Of course."

Kilo

"Uh, Rico, Kowalski, how much C4 did you put in the truck?" Skipper asked nervously.

After conferring for what seemed like an awfully long time, along with Kowalski pulling out his calculator, Rico answered, "'bout twenty kilos. Why?"

"Don't you think that's a little... much?"

Kowalski answered this time. "You can never have a big enough explosion, Skipper. Sit back and enjoy the fireworks."

Lima

"Kowalski. I have one question for you. How the deuce did we end up in Peru!"

"I told you to turn left in Albuquerque."

Mike

Keeping an eye on everything from the back of the room, Skipper studied the bar. Rico was behind the bar, getting drinks, while Private was delivering them to the customers mesmerized by Kowalski at the mike. It seemed to be quiet in the bar, and Skipper stepped out back to conclude some business he had.

A quiet mission was about to get really loud.

November

It was a bad month for a mission. It was getting cold fast and it was annoying Skipper how quickly it laid Kowalski up. So for this particular beauty, Skipper brought along four thermoses filled with piping hot coffee.

He hoped it would help.

Oscar

"Well," Skipper began, "that was an Oscar winning mission. Too bad it failed."

Papa

The little girl sleeping in Kowalski's lap had played Skipper's heartstrings well. She had stumbled upon them, hurt and bleeding a little and crying and asking where her papa was and if they could help her find him. Unfortunately, there had been an accident a block over and neither of her parents had survived.

In the end, it seemed that the mission was to protect the little girl and prevent the system from taking her away from them.

Quebec

This time, Skipper was just going to ban Rico from driving anywhere outside of New York State. He didn't even want to know how they ended up in Quebec, because it was better than being where their mission was. Especially since they didn't seem to go past border patrol. It was cold, sure, but it was better than where it was supposed to be.

Romeo

"You're a regular Casanova, aren't you?" Kowalski asked as he and Private were walking away from the latest girl who had approached them on their mission.

Private only looked marginally sheepish. "Well, it's not like it's my fault that they like my accent, now is it?"

Rolling his eyes and lengthening his already long stride, Kowalski added, "Alright then Romeo, let's get going before we miss the rendezvous point. Skipper'll give us hell if we don't get there on time. Again."

Sierra

"...Alright, how did we end up crashing into the Sierra Nevadas? They're not even on the way to Venezuela!"

Tango

"We have to...dance?" Skipper asked. "Just dance and you'll let us go?" Was this guy nuts?

"Yep. But it has to be a tango, alright? That's the only dance that'll help ya." The guy was sitting cross-legged on a table, jiggling one foot.

Skipper just looked at the others with a pained expression on his face. He couldn't dance, the time he had Ringtail's groove notwithstanding, of course. Private shook his head and Kowalski just shrugged. Neither of them could tango.

Everyone was equally surprised when Rico pulled Kowalski's hand, started humming and danced across the room.

Uniform

Staring out across the faceless masses, Skipper reluctantly had to approve. Getting that many people to appear uniform would take some guts, especially since they weren't actual military.

Victor

"To the victor the spoils, Skipper," Hans purred. Some days it was really hard to believe that he was an undercover agent. Really, really hard.

Whiskey

Rico slammed the glass down. His mission was simple – out drink the man in front of him. And it looked like it wasn't going to take much more. He poured himself and the man each another shot of whiskey.

X-ray

Kowalski hissed, shifting his weight onto his uninjured knee, pistol in his hand shaking. He knew he wouldn't need x-rays to see that his knee was messed up bad, and his team counted on him being able to get them out. There wasn't a chance in hell he was letting them down.

Yankee

"Bloody Yankees," Private murmured, loosing another shot into the psychopath following them. "Back the 'ell off already!" Rico looked slightly taken aback by the youngster's words, but Skipper and Kowalski ignored them, focusing instead on not dieing.

Zulu

Africa was hell. But it was slowly getting better. After finally finding someone who could speak one of the languages Kowalski knew – Dutch – they convinced them to translate Zulu for them. Skipper could only hope that it would help their mission.

Please review if you've gotten this far.

EDIT(6-4-2011): Seems I forgot to have a 'U'. Someone on deviantArt pointed it out and I have subsequently fixed it.