Deadpool… boredom creates comedy!

This is my first fanfic so be gentle with me. Enjoy.

It has been so long since I have had a job I feel useless…. Now that shield doesn't need me anymore the badge has no point. I sit, stand, run, jump, hop and skip whilst staring at my cell phone waiting for the next job. It's been months now and nothing… I suppose my writers at Marvel have run out of ideas of things I should do… I knew I should have signed that contract with DC… I know they have Deathstroke… my long lost and less good looking in tights brother …. But we could be an awesome double act. And if not I could just blow his head off his shoulders and have my own solo comic… its not as if he has a healing factor like me…. (a short Wikipedia search later)… crap he does… awh well I guess we could try to kill each other until the end of time.

So as I was saying I have been out of the job for a while now…. And I tell I'm getting sick of day time TV like WTF is up with Hannah Montana like is it for children or perverts… by the way I would so destroy her… I know she is only a kid and all but I would so get on the sex offenders list just to hit that…. What she's 18 really! Miley here I cum…. Did u see what I did there? I know I'm awful. But anyway like this one day I'm to get my daily dose of Hannah Montana morning glory when I sit on my comfy chair and I feel something under the cushion. So I reach down and I pull out my cell phone charger and then I realise… MY CELL PHONE HAS BEEN OUT OF BATTERY FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS! No wonder I haven't been getting any jobs lately so I rush to plug it in to the socket and charge it. I turn it on and I have over 5000 new messages! I've felt so popular, even on my Facebook I only have about half the Marvel universe on it. As I am about to check out my mail I get a phone call from Spider-Man. So I answer it because I could never refuse a call from Tobey Maguire.

"Sup, Parker!"

I could tell in his voice Tobey was shocked "Wh.. wha…what did you call me!"

"I said Spidy. Why did you think I said man" I love breaking the fourth wall and mind fucking with the other heroes.

"Emm… nothing forget it. I was calling to check up on you how have you been holding up, no one has heard from you in months and we thought that cancer of yours got the better of you."

"Nope I just forgot to charge my cell phone."

"For the past like four months? How the hell did you manage that?"

"I'm Deadpool."

"Yeah that makes sense. Well I've got to go I'm going to Reed Richards for a poker night with some of the other heroes."

"Cool! Can I come along!"

"I don't think its up to me."

"Pretty please… I'll bring dip." I know it looks like I'm begging… which I kind of am because I'm so BORED.

Tobey sighs and replies, "Even if I say that you can't your still gona show aren't you?"

"You know it Tobey!"

"What?"

"I've gotta go get ready so see you at Richard's." I hang up the phone before he has time to reply.

I go to wardrobe and pick out my best tights, get dressed and skip out the front door whilst singing:

I'm off to see the Heroes
The Wonderful Heroes of Marvel
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things they've done…

Hope you enjoyed this. Leave a comment if you want me to continue with this story as I have an idea of were to go next.