Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers!

Please R&R

(crack, starring the bayverse mechs. This is basically a continuation of Praxian Mating Rituals but the bayverse Praxian trio demanded they have a go. So hope you enjoy!)

"Bluestreak" Prowl sighed as his youngest brother scrubbed at his rapidly disappearing paintjob, the paint coming off in stubborn pools under the sponge, wet with the solvent currently ridding him of the redness of his chevron. "I really don't think this is suitable for a mech of my standing in the army."

"But Prowl" the grey Datsun whined gently tugging back the doorwing as it wrenched free of his grip "You promised you'd do this with me and Smokey!"

"Smokey needs his helm checked" Prowl snorted as their middle brother trotted into the wash racks, several transformer sized tins of paint dangling from his servos.

"You got the brushes, Blue?" Smokescreen asked wincing as Prowl dragged him by his doorwings under the solvent spray after he had dumped the paint tins in the corner, his blue, red and white paint job streaking off of his silver armour and down the drain in a whirlpool of solvent and colours from Prowl's own frame. The Cop-bot took a sponge to the remaining streaks of colouring; making sure to be a little rough in retaliation for implanting the idea of a repaint for an old Praxian tradition in Bluestreak's Processor last year.

"Yep, it took a few overloads but Sunny was putty in my servos afterwards, I've had these since last month" the youngest Datsun grinned taking a paintbrush from his subspace and twirling it like a cowboy in the western movies he enjoyed so much. "How'd you get that much paint anyway?"

"Sideswipe has the amazing ability to talk about where he stashes his prank equipment in his recharge cycle" Smokescreen grinned picking off a fleck of paint from his finger joint looking like a cat that had stolen the figurative cream "The five overloads also helped, I've trumped you Blue, I've had my stash since four months ago. So did you hold up your end of the bargain, big brother dearest?"

"Call me that again, I dare you" Prowl snapped yanking on Smokescreen's wing making his troublesome gambling middle brother yelp "And yes, as foolish as this shenanigan is, I've upheld my end of the bargain, Jazz was very… mouldable after I had finished with him."

"This is going to be so great!" Bluestreak crowed as he shut off the torrent of cleaner solvent after Prowl had made sure Smokescreen was once again his Cybertronian silver and shoving both into the dryer.

"Prowl first!" Bluestreak announced uncapping the paint tin and holding his brush at the ready "Let's see what the base thinks when Praxians decide to go on the hunt!"

-A few Hours Later-

Sam was the first to find the Praxian trio that afternoon, screaming at the top of his voice when he spotted Prowl, decked mostly in black with highlights of white and silver, his once plain red chevron now a glittering glow-in- the- dark red. Smokescreen had used an incredibly dark navy blue with a dark gold on his chevron with red accents across his frame, his 38 that was normally plastered across his doorwings, shining in silver.

Bluestreak was all black with tiger stripes of neon blue on his doorwings looking a lot like predator fangs, a silver streak of paint running down his chest.

"Hiya, Sam!" Bluestreak greeted cheerfully as he finished buffing Prowl's newly decorated armour "What do you think?"

"You've dressed up as Decepticons?" the human squeaked nervously as Prowl sharply puffed out air in his vents in a sigh.

"It is a Praxian tradition" the SIC corrected shoving Smokescreen away as the middle brother attempted to write on him with a glittery marker. "We literally have to hunt our mates and interface them into the floor when we catch them; we are currently camouflaged to make it a little harder for them to run away"

"Why today?" Sam asked wearily giving the SIC a once over just to confirm that it really was the stoic Prowl they all knew and loved, the loved part always denied of course.

"It's the start of the Praxian mating season" Smokescreen giggled managing to catch Bluestreak on the cheek-plate with a dot of the glitter marker "Praxians who are just beginning to attract a mate will gift their intended shiny objects, we, on the other hand already have mates, so we obeying our programming, are off to try to get either ourselves or our mates sparked up!"

"That has got to be the shortest abbreviated lecture on Praxian mating I have ever heard" Prowl snorted flexing his elongated claws.

"Well, I'd break his human processor if I went into any more detail" the middle brother shrugged handing Prowl his glitter marker so he could write a phrase in Praxian across a doorwing.

"Oh, could you give this to Jazz, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, Sam?" Bluestreak asked his optics widening adorably at the human as he handed the nervous young man a data chip. "It explains the rules of our little game"

"But won't they just stay still and wait for you to come to them?" Sam asked in confusion making a mental note to run screaming in the opposite direction from the Dodge Charger trio when they were done with him.

"Nope, not unless they want to sleep on the Rec-Room couch for the next three vorns" Prowl shrugged casually "If they don't run, we don't get… how do you humans put it?"

"Horny?" Smokescreen chimed in with a cackle

"Yes, that's it" the SIC nodded his helm before turning his dark gold optics back to the horrified human "If they don't run we don't get horny enough to perform in the berth until the next mating season"

Finally Sam's brain gave in and the young man fell to ground in a dead faint, surprising the trio of brothers. "You broke him Prowl!" Bluestreak fretted practically chewing through his newly adorned claws "Michaela with slaughter us!"

"She's a human Blue" Smokescreen deadpanned with his servos on his hips "what can she possibly do to three fully grown, war seasoned mechs like us?"

"You didn't see what she done to Wheelie the other day" Bluestreak whimpered backing away from the prone, but still breathing form of Sam spread-eagled on the ground.

"Sam?" Michaela's voice shouted from round the corner, Bluestreak flying into a blind panic and dragging his brother's away by the doorwings, both brothers hissing and cursing up a storm as the youngest of the trio made them watch from behind the next corner.

"Sam!" Michaela cried spotting the young man just coming round with a groan "What happened?"

"Prowl and his brothers" Sam whined clutching his head and the small data chip that Bluestreak had handed to him. "They broke my head with mental images, that are now thankfully repressed"

"What's that?" the young woman asked plucking the chip from his fingers

"It's for Jazz, Sides and Sunny. Something about running" Sam grumbled as his girlfriend hauled him to his feet and dragged him down the corridor in the opposite direction from the spying brothers.

"Oh, I saw them in the Rec-Room on my way to Ratchet's Medbay" Michaela said cheerfully "we can give them the chip now"

- Rec-Room-

Jazz pouted as he took another liberal gulp of his energon cube, the Twins sitting across from him both stirring their own energon with their clawed fingers. "I guess Smokey and Blue have been missing all morning as well then?" he asked casually

"Yeah" Sideswipe frowned flicking the silver swirled blue fuel off of his fingers at his brother, who growled lowly at his sibling in return as it splattered against his recently polished forearm.

"Hey guys!" Robert Epps greeted with a wave entering the Rec-Room with Will Lennox in tow "What's up?"

"What's down is more like it" Ironhide snickered from where he and Wheeljack were discussing explosives and other such subjects that were tabooed around 'Ratchet the Hatchet'.

"Prowl, Smokescreen and Bluestreak have been missing all day" Wheeljack explained to the bewildered humans as the three mechs went back to sulking over their energon at their table. "Any attempts to get Red Alert to talk have been met with Inferno's foam cannon to the faceplates"

"Means their up to mischief" Lennox shrugged sitting on the human sized couch by the giant Cybertronian TV hooked up to any and all manners of systems as Epps raided the fridge of two bottle of cola from the human kitchenette in the farthest corner of the room.

"Prowl? Mischief?" Wheeljack sounded mildly offended "Those words don't even go together in the same sentence without it sounding ridiculous, he's our SIC! He doesn't do mischief"

"Tell that to Sunny and Sides when they decided they wanted his brothers as mates" Jazz deadpanned with a grin draining his cube of energon.

"He gave us a warning we could 'understand' as he put it" Sideswipe said his mood completely souring, his sibling's frown darkening in remembrance "He welded me to the Medbay's roof in my recharge, Ratchet still hasn't let me live it down and he filled all of Sunny's wax tubs with paint remover, complete with some afternoon energon spiked with a hallucinogen"

"What hallucinogen?" Wheeljack asked keenly, colourful fins on either side of his helm flashing a rainbow in delighted curiosity.

"One that makes a bot paranoid" Sunstreaker scowled, clearly still peeved at the SIC for the legendary prank that took place nearly one million years ago by human standards. "I thought the paint pots were going to eat me"

Both men broke down laughing as the resident 'mad-scientist' and 'walking cannon' chuckled in amusement.

"What's so funny guys?" Sam asked striding into the Rec-Room with Michaela giving a squeak of fright as he nearly stood on a tiny I-pod transformer that played a variety of curses up at him from songs before scuttling towards its owner standing with a coffee mug with two of his friends near the back of the Rec-Room by the coffee machine, the three men trying to persuade the only kitchen appliance that Bumblebee didn't hit with his cannon that day at Sam's house to actually make some coffee out of the beans it was currently chugging down from a large tin. "We need to get a day-care for those things"

"Say that to the steering wheel" Snorted Lennox with a grin pointing at the gaming machine that would usually be found in a games parlour, the steering wheel transformer that they had recovered from Mission City, cursing at itself as it failed to beat its own high score using itself as the wheel.

"And the vending machine" Epps supplied slouching on the couch as Michaela handed a bewildered Jazz, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker a data-chip, the three bots stiffening when they downloaded the contents.

"Oh, frag!" Jazz nearly screeched bolting from the Rec-Room like his aft was on fire, earning himself confused looks from everybody present, even the stubborn coffee maker and foul mouthed steering wheel looked up.

"What he said!" the Twins chorused as they also vacated the room at speed.

"Wheeljack?" Ironhide asked sounding nervous much to Lennox's amusement.

"Yeah?" the engineer wearily replied

"Isn't it the Praxian mating season this vorn?" the black mech asked in Cybertronian to avoid any unwanted questions.

"Oh, slag" Wheeljack gasped, his colour indicators flashing a disturbed white. "We need to warn Ratchet!"

Both Engineer and Weapon Specialist lunged for the door both shouting at the top of their vocalisers "Ratchet!"

"Did I miss something?" William Lennox asked looking to an equally bewildered Robert Epps.

-Ratchet's Medbay-

Ratchet groaned as he saw Prowl, Bluestreak and Smokescreen stalk by his medbay, optics glinting with a predatory glee as they tried to sniff out their mates, their frames painted in dark colours to try and blend in with the dark grey of the walls, though still streaked with bursts of warning colours. "I should have seen this coming" he grumbled polishing his favourite wrench "Should just neuter the slaggers next time they come in for a check-up"

"Can you not say that when you are in the middle of my check up?" his patient asked nervously looking at him with pleading optics.

"Don't try that puppy optic slag on me Optimus" the neon green and yellow medic snapped at his Prime who sheepishly looked away "Only Bluestreak gets away with that"

"Ah, so it does work" Optimus snickered earning himself a smack over the back of the helm.

"Shut up Prime"

-An Hour Later-

The three Praxians had searched the base from top to bottom, systems nearly over heating at the excitement that the sudden game of hide and seek was giving them. Smokescreen growled softly, flaring his wing panels to get rid of some of the charge he had. "They've gotten better" he commented as they began to prowl around the outside of the base.

"More space" Prowl replied taking in a deep vent of atmosphere to cool his aroused systems, taking a sample of air through his olfactory sensors, literally trying to sniff out his mate like a bloodhound "More scents to hide themselves with as well"

Bluestreak crouched down, running his talons along a recent skid mark "They were here though"

"They can't have gone far" Smokescreen said systems throbbing in arousal at the traditional mating game. "We only gave them five minutes to hide"

"Split up" Prowl said "Keep in contact with each other. As soon as you spot one of them that isn't yours, radio in co-ordinates"

Smokescreen and Bluestreak grinned devilishly before slinking into the undergrowth of the islands flora, startling several fauna into taking flight.

"Oh Jazz" Prowl sing-songed padding slowly and carefully towards the beach, his pedes sinking slightly as hard ground became the fine sand Diego Garcia sported on its shores, trees sparsely decorating the edge of the tropical tangle of trunks that led back to base . "Come to me Jazzy… I only want to play"

A glint of silver out of the corner of his vision had his helm whipping around to see a shuddering Sideswipe getting what looked to be a lap dance from Smokescreen, their lip-plates locked in a passionate kiss, metal hips grinding together.

Prowl shrugged and continued along the shoreline ignoring his middle brother ravishing his mate on the beach. He then found Bluestreak sitting atop a downed Sunstreaker looking pleased with himself as the golden mech struggled underneath his weight. "I got him Prowl!" the grey mech chirped proudly, fake talons nipping at seams and wires making the golden warrior groan in want. "Jazz went that way!"

"Thank you, Bluestreak" Prowl hummed with a soft smile "Have fun"

"I will!" the grey painted mech grinned snuggling into Sunstreaker's back.

Not two minutes later did he spot Jazz. The silver saboteur standing almost with a deer-caught-in-the-headlights look as he tried to sneak back into the base "Why hello Jazz" Prowl purred stalking forward, flexing his talons as he managed to ensnare his partner around the waist "It seems that I've won our game of Hide and Seek"

-A few hours later-

"Did he really have to frag Jazz right in front of the base doors?" Optimus groaned massaging his optics as he tried to look away from the sight of his SIC and TIC still 'getting it on' just outside the hangar doors.

"Just feel lucky you weren't the president" laughed Epps patting the huge mech on the foot "The man is still traumatised; we've only just managed to get the guy to respond to the 'nod twice for 'no', once for 'yes' method."

"I forgot he was coming today" Optimus admitted sheepishly rubbing the back of his helm.

"Well… look at it this way Prime" Ratchet said with lecherous grin "Sideswipe, Sunstreaker and Jazz will at least be getting some action in the berth this after this mating season, provided that they don't spark of course."

"Do I even want to know?" asked Lennox as he jogged over to his friend's side.

"No" Optimus said as Jazz screamed out another overload "You don't"

"I take it this is why you refused to use Prowl and his brothers in that quiet Ops mission a few weeks ago" Robert Epps snickered up at the dispairing Autobot leader.

"Yes" Ratchet smiled happily down at them, his smile creeping both men out "Praxians get aroused over games of Hide and Seek"

-A Week Later-

"Congratulations you three" Ratchet crowed, his optics alight with sadistic glee "You've sparked!"

It was a little white lie of course, but damn if it wasn't a funny sight to see Sunstreaker, Sideswipe and Jazz's faceplates drain of energon in horror as their 'in the loop' mates preened proudly behind them.