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Mortimer Harren's Personal Log, stardate 60133.1
Why is it I am forced to spend my time cleaning plasma manifolds when I am evidently far more intelligent than the majority of Janeway's crew? I would think she would understand the importance of why I insist upon 'closeting myself up,' as she so aptly puts it. Anyhow, I will keep this short, as a synthale and a dark matter text are awaiting me in my desk...
As you might have guessed, I was finally, inevitably, placed on shift duty with Icheb. I don't mind Icheb. Really. He doesn't talk much, I thought he was emotionally distant, intelligent, the type of person I can tolerate. He evidently doesn't have the mentally unstable connotations of the other members of this crew (I am beginning to wonder if it's a result of isolation in space - or perhaps an encounter with a subspace phase diaspora that I so brilliantly based my thesis on during my stay at the Academy...memories aren't a wonderful thing...)
Anyhow, he's decided he has a crush on B'Elanna Torres and that she reciprocates. I mean, does this crew get any more unbelievable? Pedophiles, a violence-crazed Klingon who's now taken to spouting Starfleet rules at ex-Borgs, and a Captain that sounds like Chippy the Chipmunk with a bad case of laryngitis I hope this is spelled correctly, I'm sorry if it isn't - SC>.
So now the addition of a Wesley Crusher clone with only one piece of clothing in his wardrobe believes that a thirtysomething pregnant and married woman has fallen in love with him. Let me guess. Some of the male crew's affinity for small children has rubbed off on her and she wants a piece of that middle school hottie. Right. Will this encounter amuse me? Likely. I can imagine it now.
Icheb: B'Elanna, I have a great new medical tricorder! It says you love me! I love you too!
Torres: Miserable and desperate ship's prick ptaq!
This is about when Torres will break his nose a-la-Carey. Then again, we didn't like Carey, did we? Remember, Admiral Janeway only decided to bring Voyager back to the Alpha Quadrant AFTER he died.
Icheb really needs to work on his humour, too...
B'Elanna got pregnant and he said there was a "Paris-ite" in her...can you hear me groaning? Yet we all had to let out a titter because good old Bun-O-Steel insisted that we socialize him. God, she makes him sound like a pet Corgi, and she's the Queen Mum looking after it...just make sure he doesn't stain my rug...
There. I now have enough quads to settle the ever-chipper Chackers.
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I always wondered that...WHY THE HECK did Janeway arrive AFTER Carey died? I think she was just jealous because her action figure made her look like what she was - a man disguised as a woman! He just looked better than her! LOL, anyhow...thanks a million for all the great reviews! I LOVE YOU ALL!