Santana Lopez Let it be known that I am a *firm* believer in the use of blackmail, but I am *so* not happy with Tubbs the Clown and his plot to get me to 'embrace my awesomeness'.
Finn Hudson like this
Finn Hudson You don't have to be happy about it, Santana, you just have to do it.
Santana Lopez Where the hell did you learn manipulating anyway? Even I couldn't have passed that off as a stage slap.
Finn Hudson Maybe you shouldn't contradict the lie I'm telling to our principal on Facebook.
Santana Lopez The Figgle can't friend us on here, it's like the ultimate opportunity for perving.
Kurt Hummel And to answer your question, Santana, he lives with *me*, remember?
Santana Lopez Touche, King Bitch Hummel. Touche.
Kurt Hummel Thank you Queen Bitch Lopez.
Rachel Berry I for one fully encourage and endorse the idea of rival clubs coming together in a time of crisis in order to support one another, and then being able to compete at a later date.
Kurt Hummel So is that our explanation for why you dated St. James? (Santana Lopez likes this)

Jacob Ben Israel The polls once again have taken a dramatic turn. Miss Brittany Pierce's lead has increased, though her overall poll numbers have gone down. Rick "the Stick" Nelson's poll number has improved dramatically due to pity votes resulting from his head injury, and the polls now stand as following: Brittany Susan Pierce with 48%, Kurt Hummel with 31%, and the Stick Nelson with 21%. May the best candidate (Brittany) win.

Santana Lopez, the Stick Nelson, and 683 others like this
Kurt Hummel Farewell to an impartial newspaper!
Rachel Berry I think it became clear where Jacob's allegiances lie when he asked you for your concession speech earlier.
the Stick Nelson He asked me for something like that to! I just wasn't sure what concede meant.
Rachel Berry Ladies and gentlemen, our deserving candidate ^
Santana Lopez So can we just wrap this shit up and admit that Brittany has this in the bag, please?
Kurt Hummel Not on your life, Lopez.

Finn Hudson Lady Music Week has gotten off to a great start, despite the lack of enthusiasm (I'm not going to name names) by some. "Perfect" turned out to be *perfect*, and we're going to have a wonderful week!
Rachel Berry likes this
Kurt Hummel Rachel wrote this, didn't she?
Finn Hudson Oh yeah.
Santana Lopez I'll name names: me! This idea is stupid and your song was crap.
Blaine Anderson Whether you actually believe that or not, and it's hard to tell with you sometimes, the idea is that we all care about you Santana, the *real* you, not who you pretend to be for the rest of the school. How you interpret the message, that's your choice.
Santana Lopez Now I can see why Frigid dropped his pants for you...
Kurt Hummel I know you don't exactly like the idea (and I'm certainly glad the Glee Club didn't try any stunt like this for me), but it's important Santana. We don't care how cruel you are to us (or to our efforts to support you), we will be *there* for you, understand?
Santana Lopez Yeah, yeah, crystal clear. Why don't you go back to trying to scrounge up votes against my Brittany and leave me the hell alone?

Santana Lopez I must admit, the next phase of Finn's horribly named LMW was much improved, though I could have done without the (very subtle) come-on.
Puck DaBadass, Finn Hudson, and 4 others like this
Puck DaBadass Please, the Puckzilla doesn't do anything without a little sex on the tail, babe!
Kurt Hummel That doesn't even make sense. Why do you all sleep with him again?
Santana Lopez He's good (Brittany Pierce, Quinn Fabray, and 27 others like this)
Kurt Hummel Not only is the sheer amount of likes horrifying, but QUINN!
Finn Hudson Is Lady Music Week really that bad?
Santana Lopez As a name: hells yes. As an idea? It's starting to grow on me. (Finn Hudson like this)
Santana Lopez And I mean grow on me like a poisonous mold that's slowly killing me with sheer ridiculousness. I can never be rid of it.
Brittany Pierce Like herpes?

Quinn Fabray posted to Puck DaBadass's Wall Whatever is a girl to do when she's all alone in her house and bored?
Puck DaBadass does. not. like this. Haven't we already talked about how crazy you are.
Finn Hudson Not to offend you or anything, but you can get worse than Rachel was far as the maintenance thing goes.
Santana Lopez You know how to spell maintenance?
Rachel Berry I resent the implication that I am difficult to handle.
Puck DaBadass Santana, Rachel, Finn, get the hell off my Facebook. This is between me and Quinn. Lucy: I'm gonna go raw dog that beehive now.
Finn Hudson What the...?

Santana Lopez I absolutely hated Finn Hudson's version of 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.' Hated the arrangement, hated the vocals, hated the time and place, just hated it. But the sentiment behind it wasn't so bad, and even though Finn's being 'that clingy girl that just lost her virginity' whenever he's around me, this week might have been a pretty good idea.
Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry, and 7 others like this
Kurt Hummel Considering you have his virginity, doesn't that automatically make him that clingy girl that just lost his virginity around you?
Santana Lopez It's especially bad this week. He thinks I'm gonna slit my wrists or jump off a cliff.
Kurt Hummel Not that suicide is in ANY WAY A VIABLE OPTION, he kind of has a right to worry.
Santana Lopez My only question is where exactly he stole the gay suicide pamphlets from: your bedroom or Miss Pillsbury? Because that's obviously where he's getting his speeches from.
Kurt Hummel I think Finn is... wary of going in my bedside drawers. Let's leave it at that, shall we?
Blaine Anderson ;)
Finn Hudson I told you, Santana, you mean something to me. Whether that makes me whatever you and Kurt are calling me or not, I don't care. I realize how awesome, how *special* you are, and I just want you to share that with everyone.
Rachel Berry You better watch it, Finn Hudson, or I'll start to think you're in love with the head cheerleader... again.
Finn Hudson The *lesbian* head cheerleader?
Kurt Hummel Who is probably realistically bisexual, but why use proper terms when we can just lump everything under the banner of gay?

Jacob Ben Israel The polls are today, and I wish everyone the best of luck (especially Brittany Pierce). -with Kurt Hummel and the Stick Nelson
Santana Lopez, Blaine Anderson, and 1293 others like this
Santana Lopez PIERCE FOR PRESIDENT!
Rachel Berry VOTE FOR SOMETHING REAL, KURT HUMMEL!
the Stick Nelson VOTE THE STICK!
Brittany Pierce Stick, why do all your posters look like they have dicks on them? (Santana Lopez, Rachel Berry, and 28 others like this)
the Stick Nelson They're video game controllers!
Santana Lopez Right.
Jacob Ben Israel Though I usually decline from commenting on my own posts, the exit polling goes as follows: the Stick down to 15%, Lady Hummel at 25%, and Madame President Miss Brittany Pierce at 60%.

Puck DaBadass "I kissed a dolphin, and I liked it, the taste of her fishy chap stick. I kissed a dolphin, just to try it; I hope my fuck-friend don't mind it. It felt so wrong, it felt so right, don't mean I'm in love tonight, I kissed a dolphin and I liked it. I liked it."
Kurt Hummel You know, I just heard that song today, but for some reason those words seem right.
Santana Lopez Oh, like you've never kissed a girl, Hummel.
Brittany Pierce Wait, we're kissing dolphins now? I want to kiss mine!
Kurt Hummel The sad part is her comment was perfectly timed and she has no idea how funny it was.
Blaine Anderson This is a story I've never heard...

Jacob Ben Israel Major political scandal at McKinley today. KURT HUMMEL STUFFED THE BALLOT BOXES!
Kurt Hummel That is *not* true! Someone stuffed the ballot boxes in my favor, but it wasn't me.
Jacob Ben Israel The punishment to suit the crime would be a one-week suspension.
Finn Hudson Do I have to punch your head in to get you to understand me? Leave. Him. Alone.
Jacob Ben Israel Many wonder why Hummel thought he could get away with such a scheme, leaving behind too many ballots and a suspiciously wide margin.
Blaine Anderson Finn, would you like help bashing this idiot's face in? Kurt's innocent!
Santana Lopez In some ways.
Jacob Ben Israel Whoever committed this egregious crime (Kurt) must come forward by the end of the school day to receive punishment or else risk a more thorough investigation and a longer suspension.
Rachel Berry KURT'S INNOCENT!

Jacob Ben Israel It has been announced that Rachel Berry was the one to stuff the ballot boxes in Kurt's name, and will thus receive a suspension of one-week suspension and is banned from competing in the ever-important (to her) event of the Glee club's Sectionals.
Blaine Anderson I think someone owes someone an apology. (Finn Hudson like this)
Santana Lopez Are we in third grade?
Jacob Ben Israel I must formally apologize to Kurt for suspecting him.
Kurt Hummel And I would like to publicly congratulate our new President: Miss Brittany Susan Pierce.
Brittany Pierce I promise to rule wisely and rule fabulously, my First Unicorn. *hearts* (Kurt Hummel like this)