#7: So our Cenobite friends have decided to take up on Kirsty's offer and are now at the beach. WARNING!: Hilarity included such as Pinhead's out of style swim trunks, Butterball's inability to swim, awkward CPR, an unexpected proposal, and a VERY drunk and wasted Pistonhead.
We can go anywhere from there...
"I refuse to exit!" Pinhead stubbornly told as he cowered in the men's restroom, as the other male Cenobites groaned.
Earlier before they had decided to take up on Kirsty's offer and went to the beach with her, and several other human friends which included Tiffany, Steve, and Joey- the girlfriend of Elliot. It's kind of awkward for Pinhead, being that HE likes Kirsty but ELLIOT likes Joey. So...wouldn't that technically count as a love square? Wait- what the hell is it when you throw in Angelique lusting after Pinhead?
"Aw c'mon you little priss. Show some of that manlyhood to your girl out there man." Pistonhead groaned, calling out in encouragement. He and the others were already in their bathing suits or bailed out in embarassment such as Surgeon and Channard- since they didn't have the whole Hollister beach boy bodies...or the Twilight Taylor Lautner abs. Pistonhead was rather eager, having still a rather muscular build that was actually attractive...if it weren't for the clanging pistons lodged through his skull and his obnoxious douche bag personality 65% to 75% to over 9000% of the time.
"I will not be exposing myself with such insane fashion for a nonsense occassion within the public of humanity!" Pinhead retorted, remaining firm.
Chatterer groaned, or did something of that in his clicks as he face palmed his forehead. He had trunks on, but kept himself robed, refusing to show anyone what he looked like until they got there.
"Goodness Xipe, I. AM. DYING. OF. HEAT. EXHAUSTION!" Angelique shrieked, growing more and more frustrated as she only sweated more and more. Her beautiful body was something for all to die for with those curves, but right now Angelique could care anyless what she had right now.
"Too bad for you!" was all of Xipe's reply, as the demon princess shrieked in fury, kicking the door in an unsuccessful attempt to take the door down and only injuried her foot.
'We already tried that princess. He used chains to barge the door shut.' Chatterer explained, his tone as annoyed and frustrated as Angelique's groans were.
"Aw...did princess biatch get a booboo?" Butterball coed sarcastically, grinning as the princess shrieked again an flipped the bird at the only Cenobite who didn't really want to go swimming. (Ever since watching Titanic, Butterball came up with revelations and theories that if he were to swim far out enough, he would crash into an iceberg and sink right next by to the remains of the shipwreck itself.)
Or, in other words, he didn't even know how to swim.
"C'mon! I wanna go!" Dreamer whined, stamping her foot as the heat increased. Pistonhead glanced over to her, flushing at how lovely she looked and strangely turned away.
"Awkward." Butterball sang noticing how suddenly nervous Pistonhead became.
"Pinny-Poo." Kirsty pleaded for him to come out, but not even she surprisingly could convince him to come out of the bathroom.
All that did was almost kill Pistonhead from laughter at the little nickname for his boss.
"Xipe, we aren't getting any paler you know, Kirsty isn't getting any younger, and the ozone layer is only getting worse, therefore causing worsers heatwaves to us, and having the oceans disolve into nothing!" Nikoletta cried as well.
Pinhead, from the other side, had a face on of mockery, disturbance, and confusion.
"Psh. Great. Whatever you say you little weird hippy Cenobite." he simply said, rolling his eyes. Nikoletta frowned, insulted by that as Pistonhead admittedly sniggered a bit by that.
But that steamed Chatterer enough alright!
'THAT'S IT! NO ONE TALKS ABOUT MY GIRL LIKE THAT!' he yelled angrily into everyone's minds, backing up against the other wall before charging like an angry train as he bashed the door down despite the hundred of chains Pinhead had summoned to keep the door shut.
Chatterer froze at the sight of his Master, and when the others peeked their heads through to see- they almost all died of the sight!
Pinhead, in an old early 19th century one piece bathing suit! A bright red color, that showed...well...a bit too much. But not bad enough to blind Butterball. (Ha ha! Get it? He's blind...eh...oh...forget you.)
Despite being bone white pale, Pinhead flushed as red as a bright tomato.
"St- stop it! I'll have you now this was considered TRUE fashion ware in my day." the pin headed Cenobite defended as he flushed even more.
Pistonhead, who gasped for air in between laughs looked up in teary eyed.
"BWAH HA HA HA HA! Don- don't forget yer...yer..corset PINNY! BWA HA HA!" he screamed, making the others erupt in roaring laughter. Even Leviathan was laughing from a whole other room!
Pinhead only frowned, groaning as he grit his teeth and narrowed his dark eyes.
"Let's just go the beach and get this over with." he said lowly as he grabbed for Kirsty's hand and started to walk off.
But not before Leviathan had some interesting things to say to the others,
"NOT SO FAST YOU ALL. I STILL HAVEN'T LEARN TO TRUST YOU AGAIN AFTER THE VEGAS INCIDENT. SO, THEREFORE, I HAVE A SET OF RULES FOR YOU TO FOLLOW." the huge diamond spoke abruptly, making everyone groan.
"Shoot me engagement ring." Pistonhead muttered sarcastically.
If Leviathan had eyes, they would've been glaring straight into Pistonhead's soul.
"RULE NUMBER ONE: I WANT YOU ALL HOME HERE AT EIGHT THIRTY. NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS ABOUT IT. SECONDLY, NO ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES ALLOWED- IF I FIND OUT ANY OF YOU CAME HOME WASTED THEN SO HELP ME I SHALL PUNISH YOU ULTIMATELY. THIRDLY, DON'T LET ANY OF YOU DIE. IF YOU SEE A SHARK, ICEBERG, OR EDWARD CULLEN IN THE WATER- GET OUT." he explained.
The others just stared blankly, exchanging glances to one another when mentioning the 'Edward Cullen' part as Dreamer sighed.
"He read the Twilight series and learned to dislike Edward after Bella chose him over Jacob. He hasn't stopped having violent dreams of getting rid of the vampire since then." she said, annoyed with headaches of constantly seeing those dreams from him.
"Damn. He's a vampire? I thought that he was a sparkly, gay fairy." Pistonhead shrugged in comment.
"GASP! She choses Edward! Don't spoil itttttttt!" Pinhead whined rather loudly, as everyone stared blankly at him.
"Let's just get this over with." Nikoletta said, shaking her head in disbelief to this.
3 Hours Later
"Stupid Highway to Hell traffic...stupid ACDC...stupid Pistonhead easily getting bored in the car resulting in sex with Dreamer right in front of my view mirror...stupid CD's iSpy game...I hate the SUN!" Pinhead complained, having been the stressed out one to drive the car. Why? Well, Chatterer never got a license, neither did Dreamer, Pistonhead was obnoxious to the cops and lost his long ago, Nikoletta didn't know how to drive, Butterball is a horrible speeder, CD was still blind. Can't have a blind guy drive now, can we?
"Albino alert." Pistonhead grinned as he attempted to flex his muscles.
"Eeeeeew." Nikoletta and Butterball jokingly laughed to one another at that sight, pretending to get sick as he did that.
"F.U." he grunted, flipping the bird as girls from nearby out or far went goo goo eyes over him, and especially Pinhead.
One even had the nerves to seductively walk up to our pin headed friend and ask if he wanted to help her and her friends in building a sand castle.
Therefore, resulting in a violent Kirsty chasing after her with a bucket and shovel she was able to turn into a weapon.
"Uh...Xipe. I think you're teaching her too much of our techniques." Nikoletta informed, staring wide eyed as Kirsty actually managed to start a bloodbath within thirty seconds- quite the record there.
"Ugh, this sunscreen is insulting to women everywhere." Angelique gasped in mock, holding the bottle of sunscreen that had the picture of the little girl getting her shorts pulled down by the dog.
"Then don't wear it." Dreamer simply and dryly said as she laid out in the sand to get tanned and dream again.
"FINE! I won't!" the demon princess huffed as she tossed away the sunscreen and simply rested down on her towel. Butterball silently sniggered, knowing what the sun would do to her bone white pale skin. But in the meanwhile, three pretty blond women suddenly approached Pistonhead.
"Hi there.." one giggled, almost innocently.
He looked up, grinning. "Ladies." he said, though there was a twinge in the back of his mind that they were familiar.
"Um...we were wondering if you could totally help us bury someone in the sand." the other sweetly said, purring as she stretched her long legs out in view for Pistonhead to drool over. Which he did, and opened his mouth to speak when he turned to notice Dreamer sigh at some point as she rested peacefully, and strangely, so out of character for him to do around women...he went hesitant.
"Well...I..uh.." he started to say, in the tone distaning to a 'no', but they gave him no time to answer as all three grabbed him off to a hole they had already dug, grinning wickedly as they insisted he go straight into the hole.
"So wait...what are we doing?" Pistonhead questioned confused.
Meanwhile
"MY SKIN!" Angelique shrieked in horror, burning at the pain of her lobster red, burnt skin while Butterball earlier before asked for some butter at the nearby snack bar, and threw it in her face while she slept, then unaware of her red skin.
"BUTTERBALL I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!" the princess angrily yelled, chasing after our fat, adorable friend when suddenly he ran straight for the water and pretty far out before it hit him.
"Oh wait a minute...I can't swim." he realized, and then sank under before yelling for help.
Kirsty and Pinhead had been unaware, as they were busy snuggling up to one another under the shaded umbrella when Pinhead barely looked up.
"Oh cool...a whale." he commented, making Kirsty look over to see and gasp.
"Pinny-poo! That's not a whale! It's BB! He's drowning!" she gasped in panic.
'Oh my Leviathan! Someone save him! Superman! Batman! I don't give a f-'
"HELP ME FIRST!" Pistonhead cut off Chatterer as in the distance, it was revealed HE was the one that got buried. Apparently, the three blonds were angry at him, having been previous one night stand hookers for him that weren't too happy about being used.
"I'M DYING!" Butterball called out, shocked that Pistonhead expected the others to help him first.
"TOO BAD!" Pistonhead replied.
Pinhead was still feeling lazy as he simply waved his hand and shrugged. "Eh...just do a barrel roll Butterball!" he simply called out.
"WHAT?" the fat cenobite cried out in disbelief.
'That's it you lazyass morons! FINE! I'LL save him!' Chatterer groaned, still not showing anybody at all anything under his cover up as he went after his obese friend, only to come back with a limp Butterball.
'Uh...I don't think he's breathing.' Chatterer remarked nervously.
At that moment, he then ran to Nikoletta, scooped her in his arms and proceeded to run off and hide at the nearby beach bar.
"SUCKERS! We're SO not doing mouth to mouth with him!" she laughed wickedly.
Everyone then looked at Dreamer, but she was still sound asleep.
Everyone then looked at Pistonhead, but he was still whining as he was buried in the sand aswell.
Everyone then looked at CD, but he shrugged. Having sharp edged CD's all over his face probably wouldn't go so well to that anyways.
Everyone then looked at Kirsty, all about to ask before Pinhead interrupted.
"Hell no! Kirsty is MY precious delicate human, and I refuse to let her met lips to anyone else!" he said.
And with that, CD crossed his arms and frowned.
"Then why don't YOU give him mouth to mouth?" he inquired.
Pinhead flushed, shuffling his feet awkwardly as he finally made an excuse.
"Uh...my pins might poke him."
And with that, all eyes fell on our sun burned princess, who stared up, unaware of what had happened as she looked.
"Why are you staring at me?"
SEVERAL MOMENTS LATER
"I got to french kiss the princess! I got to french kiss the princess! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Butterball sang gloriously and victoriously, but rather in mock as Angelique unleashed all her fury of hell by chasing after him with several weapons in her hands.
"YOU LITTLE WEASLY BASTARD! I ATTEMPT TO RESISTATE YOU AFTER BEING PAID A HIGH AMOUNT OF CASH AND HEAVY STERN LOOKS OF CONVINCING ONLY TO HAVE YOU PROCEEDINGLY DEEPEN THAT AS THOUGH YOU CONSIDERED IT A KISS! I'M GONNA CUT YOUR TONGUE OUT AND STAB A BAZILLION TIMES!" Angelique screamed at the top of her lungs as she chased after him.
"Bazillion is not a number." CD dryly pointed out obnoxiously.
"******* you ******** little ******* half witted ******** mother ********!" was Angelique's response, in words so dirty that they indeed had to be censored.
In the meanwhile, Chatterer and Pinhead decided to help Pistonhead out of the sand, who grumbled that he needed a drink and would only be a few minutes.
Well, unless if Pistonhead is currently in the movie Inception where time is pretty screwed up for an hour equaling a few minutes, then he was gone for more than a few minutes.
Suddenly, our piston headed friend approached the rest of the group, stumbling about with a slurpy grin spread wide on his face as the bartender angrily yelled unmentionable things- the basic meaning to it was that he was indeed banished from that beach bar for doing...well...something I guess. It's Pistonhead, what do you expect?
"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappy biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirthday Pinny Boy!" he bursted out at random point, swinging about before he fell straight on the ground and looked straight at Dreamer, whom had jumped awake.
"Dreamy!" he exclaimed happily while Dreamer just stared, surprised and wide eyed.
"Wa happen to yer hair? I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiked it! Eh, es bootiful still." he admitted, while Dreamer was about to slap him when he then said.
"I lurve you Terri Madison." he smiled, but it was something rare for him to call her by her real name. Better yet- he had never said 'I love you' to her before!
"You- you what?" she gasped.
"I think I just died inside." Angelique commented dryly and obnoxiously. Obviously, she was bored and being sarcastic.
"So uh...erm...kinda wasted...tee hee...*hic*...but...*hic*..." Pistonhead rummaged through his pockets, with the others expecting him to do something stupid when suddenly- oh my!
He pulled out a beautiful, diamond ring that shimmered as the sun beat down on it.
"...Will ya...wil...*hic*..will...wil...I wuz wonderin'...uh *hic*...Terri Madison, you awe dee most bootiful woman EVAH, *hic* and I got so nervous to...to...to tell you this so I accidentally *hic* got a little *hic* tipsy...but.." the formerly addressed JP Munroe cleared his throat, trying to sound as clear as possible when he said:
"Will you marry me?"
Everyone else widened their eyes, having never seen this coming as all eyes turned to a surprise Dreamer, waiting for the response.
She opened her mouth for an answer...
TO BE CONTINUED
HA! Evil cliffy! Bet ya didn't see that coming! And I lied...this is a three part one shot with the whole beach thing! XD XD XD XD Will Terri say yes? Will Angelique get revenge on BB? Tune in next time! XD