I'll Mend Your Heart

A/N: Hey guys! sorry I kinda vanished again...ended up having more surgery, so...

anyway here's the next chap, it's one I've been looking forward to writing since I began this story so it was so much fun.

a big shout out, lots of love and hugs to my gorgeous beta TopsyKrettCullen - you're a lifesaver!

Chapter 39

Edward

She let out yet another long, low moan. They had become an extremely common occurrence throughout the night and this morning.

Six hours.

So far she's been in active labour for six hours.

Seeing the person you love more than anything in this amount of pain is one of the worst things I've ever witnessed, yet I can help but feel a ball of excitement in my gut…because he's here.

Well, almost here.

It's a very surreal moment, as I sit on the edge of Bella's bed; rubbing her lower back and letting her squeeze the hell outta my hand, because she's in so much pain and agony yet every so often (one she's recovered from the contraction) a slight smile forms on her lips…she loves him already. She hasn't met him and she loves him so unconditionally…and, to her, that made all the pain worth it.

"Okay, baby" I kept my hand kneading her back "alright darling, you're alright" she panted, completely worn out, and as the contraction passed she flung herself back down on the bed.

"Have you changed your mind?" I kiss her temple, giving her swollen belly a rub.

"No" she panted "no, I haven't"

Stubborn girl

"It'd be easier" I coax

"Edward, no. I don't want to forget a moment…and there are all those risks I read about…"

"Bella, I'd never let anything happen to you or the baby, you know that"

"I know you wouldn't Edward" she patted my hand "but you're not God, and I'm just not willing to risk anything"

"If you're sure…"

"I'm sure"

"Here" I pass her the cup of ice chips and she eagerly tips some in her mouth, with a small moan (of pleasure this time, I'm sure).

I've read every book available on labour…you could drop me in any delivery room and I could safely deliver that baby.

…but there's only one women and one baby that I care about right now…

Mine

Dr Granger is around here somewhere, and he keeps popping in to check on Bella and the baby, but once that's done I kick him out. He's really only here as a precaution. I have no doubt that I could deliver this baby, but am I willing to risk my wife and child on it? I ain't so sure.

"eughhhhhh!" one her hand grabs her stomach and she sits up again, crying out as the pain begins again. "Ugh! Edward! It fucking hurts!" her teeth are gritted, her foreheads creased and she's breaking every bone in my hand.

"Should I have a look?"

"no!"

When her contractions first started she was okay with letting me look, making sure everything was okay. But as the hours passed she's become extremely self-conscious and would rather have Dr Granger check it out rather than me.

"Why baby? Don't you trust me?"

"You know I do. It's just…I don't want you to look down there and…and find it all gross"

"Baby, I promise, nothing I see down there is going to change how I feel about you. You'll still be the sexiest woman in the world to me. You're going through this hell to give birth to our son, and I couldn't think of you as anything less than amazing

"…and beautiful

"…and gorgeous

"…and wonderful

"…and I am so in love with you"

She eyed me for the longest moment, her big brown eyes staring into mine.

"I can keep going" I shrugged "and sexy, and funny, and smart, and compassionate and-"

"okay! Okay!" she waved her hands around "…you can look" she says with a sigh, opening her legs.

I learnt down and kissed her lips, pulling away to rest my forehead against hers. "I won't"

"what? But I thought-?"

"I don't want to do anything you're not completely happy and comfortable with. I shouldn't have pushed it, I'm sorry. I just –"

"what?" her small, warm hand found its way to my cheek

"I just want to be the one looking after the both of you…and that's stupid and selfish. From now on-" I pulled back, and wiped a damp cloth over her forehead "I'm going to be looking after you, and I'll let the doc take care of the 'business area'"

"but –"

"really" I kiss her forehead "it's okay. Want him to come now?"

"erm…no, can I just wait a bit"

"of course. Now, is there anything I can get for you?"

~*~IMYH~*~

As the day progressed, naturally, so did Bella's labour. Her contractions were now only a few minutes apart and we were both aware that our son would be gracing us with his presence very soon.

"Edward, what if I'm a horrible mom!" she wails

"Are you kidding me?! You were born to be a mom. You're so warm and loving and such a beautiful person. Bella, you're going to make the most amazing mother"

"You think?" her bottom lip was slightly pushed out, in the most adorable pout.

"I know" I kissed away said pout.

"and you know you're going to be a perfect father. Your protective nature it's just….it's really sexy actually"

"oh, I know" she giggled at me, before another contraction hit and she cried out again.

"Okay mom!" Doctor Granger appeared "let's see how we're doing" he wastes no time looking between my wife's legs and I need to grit my teeth to stop myself from kicking his ass. "You're ten centimetres dilated"

Which means it's show time

"Bella, do you feel like you want to push?"

"uh-huh"

"okay, on your next contraction I want you to push down into your bottom"

"what?! But what if i…?"

"Mrs Masen, I've delivered hundreds of babies…it's nothing I've not seen before. Don't worry about it, bowel movements are perfectly normal during childbirth"

"oh god!" she groans, covering her burning face.

Poor baby

"hey, look at me. You're doing this for him. He's coming baby, he's almost here."

"okay" she whispers

"and Mrs Cullen, once the contraction begins and you start pushing, trust me, you'll not even notice anything. Right, I'm sure you've read up on a lot of labour and delivery techniques but I'm just going to give you a little bit of advice before we begin. Since you've chosen to deliver being propped up on your back, when pushing put your chin to your chest, it helps focus your pushes."

"okay, I've read about that"

"good" the doctor nodded "also, it's very important to do what feels natural to you but if I may, I'd like to suggest that you hold your breath and count to ten whilst pushing."

"Yeah, I know. I'm ready"

"Tell me when you feel the next contraction"

"I can feel it coming… Edward hold my hand!"

"I'm here, I'm here" I grab her hand "and we're going to do this together, okay. I'm not going to leave your side. Tell me when it's here"

"it's coming, it's coming, its ahhhhhhhh!"

"push Bella! Push!"

Chin to chest, feet pressed in the stirrups and hand squeezing mine, and pushes with all the might in her tiny body. "aggghhhhhhhhh!"

"1, 2, 3"

"Uggggghhhhhhhh!"

"5, 6, 7"

"THIS FUCKING HURTSSSSSSSS!"

"9, 10"

Her exhausted body fell back onto the bed. I hadn't even realised she'd risen, but evidently she had. "I want the drugs! Edward, I want the drugs!"

Just when I was about to bend to whatever she wanted the doc spoke up "just Gas and Air I'm afraid."

After Bella swore (a lot) and threatened to 'kick his ass' another contraction hit, and her concentration was elsewhere.

"Alright Bella, baby's crowning. Push!"

It continued like this for the next 50 minutes. If felt like the longest hour of my life, and despite her earlier concerns, Bella demands I have a look at the crowning baby…and it was magnificent.

With one last push…a beautiful wail fills the air. "Is he okay, where is he?" Bella's so obviously exhausted, but still panicked as the doctor cleans up the baby.

"hey" I whispered, wiping her sweaty forehead "he's fine, he's just getting cleaned up and then you'll have him. You're a mom, Bella. We have a little family"

At my words tears fall from her eyes, and the emotion in the room finally get to her.

"here he is" the doctor walks over to us, but my eyes are glued to the bundle in his arms "the man of the moment"

Said 'man'…or my son, was placed on his mother's chest. I wasn't sure what I expected…well, I suppose I expected him to look like newborns on movies or tv…I wasn't expected this little, pink lump…but it's the most beautiful little, pink lump I've ever laid eyes on.

"oh Edward" Bella gasps. Her eyes, like mine, trying to memorize his every feature. "He looks just like you"

"are you kidding?" I run one finger along his very fine, super soft tuft of hair "he's gorgeous, that's all you".

"I love you, Edward"

"I love you, Bella. I love everything about you, and I'll never be able to thank you enough for giving me this precious gift, but I'll try" our lips meet in an incredibly soft and tender kiss and when we break apart I press an even softer kiss to my son's head.

My son

I have a son

"take him" Bella urges. I momently panic, not at all prepared to actually hold him.

"erm…no, you just…he obviously like being just there" and, I mean, who wouldn't? He's snuggled up right against Bella's breasts…it's like the best place in the world.

"Actually" Doctor Granger spoke up. I'd forgotten he was even here "Bella needs to deliver the after birth, so it'd be best of you did take him"

They don't seem to understand that…I could actually drop him.

Taking a deep breath I hold my arms out, and Bella places him there. He fits perfectly, like he was made to be held by me. His lilac eyelids flutter slightly and his beautiful blue-grey eyes peer up at me…clearly he's upset I'm not his warm, nice smelling, cosy mother because his cry suddenly fills the room.

Holding him close and rocking him slightly, I do my best to settle my son. I sit beside Bella, so I can rest his lower body on my lap as my hand holds hers. I'm not sure about this afterbirth business, but I want her to know I'm here for her one hundred per cent.

It doesn't take as long as I'd thought it would, as soon the doctor has cleaned up and left us alone.

After he's fed and I've experienced my first nappy change, both mother and son are laid in bed.

"Edward, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, you know you can"

"and you'll be totally honest"

"yep"

"okay…did I shit myself?"

~*~IMYH~*~

Bella had finally managed to doze off and EJ was content in my arms. It'd taken him a little while to get use to not being cuddled up to his mother; the boy clearly has his priorities correct.

Someone's clearly a mommy's boy

My finger was being gripped by his fist and it was beautiful…this whole day had been beautiful.

My admiration for my son was disrupted as there was a quiet knock on the bedroom door.

"Dr Granger, I thought you'd left" I stood, placed EJ in his crib before ushering Dr Granger into the hallway.

"I thought I'd stick around for a while, just in case"

"oh, okay. Well they're good…and I've got your number in an emergency so…"

"yeah, erm…actually. I've had a phone call. It's…sir, it's for you"

The doc is holding out a small, silver device. My eyes narrow, glaring at this man. But I take the phone and I hold it to my ear not saying a word.

"Edward, it's Jasper. I don't know what they hell you're playing at but you've got to come home…it's Esme. She's…dude, she's been in an accident, and it's not looking good."

A/N: i'd just like to take a moment to remind you, I've not given birth - like ever - but I have watched a lot of 'One Born Every Minute' (how great is that show), anyway this chapter would be so incorrect if it was for my beta, so once again - TopsyKrettCullen, I love you!

leave me a review and i'll give you cookies

facebook- Bethviolet Fanfic

twitter - beth_violet